Rewind
by x-Trisana-Skystorm-x
Summary: Cloud Strife seemed to any other to be your average run of the mill, Saviour of the planet. When he ends it all the Lifestream gives him one more chance. To take it back, return to the beginning. To rewind. Time travel fic. Slash.
1. Prologue

**A.N Okay, so this is my first _real_ fanfiction, so please be kind to me. It might not make much sense right now, and seem kind of skippy. That's all for a reason I promise you. This is the longest thing I have ever written as a prologue, and it only took me two days to write. Yay for me. I would really appreciate it if you would review, since I'm not certain as to whether this is any good, although I hope with a little more work, in later chapters it will be the best thing I've written to date. If I have the facts wrong then please let me know, I'm using a lot of my personal hand written notes here and if i'm ever going to have my encyclopedia done it would be great to know everything. Anyway, read on, hopefully enjoy, and just maybe share some of that joy with me.**

**Disclaimer;**** I do not own Final Fantasy VII, if I did then Kalm wouldn't have been spelt with a K, or at the very least razed to the ground for their terrible spelling.**

**Plot Note; In case you were wondering, this will be a multi chaptered, time travel story. As to the pairings, well mostly that's up in the air at the moment. Any suggestions will be taken into consideration.**

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_Rewind_

Prologue

Cloud Strife was smiling again, perhaps not in the way that many would have liked (especially Tifa and the kids), but the fact remained that the savior of the planet had a content smile on his face. It wasn't his usual smile either, the slightest quirking of the lips that he was sure he had picked up off the Nightmare himself, but a true teeth baring smile of bliss. There was nothing about the whole situation that was in any way good, or even funny, but to Cloud everything was a blissful rush of wispy green.

Yet again the infallible hero, who was known for his mighty strength and perseverance, was greeting the Lifestream. A trip Cloud had made more than once before, cloaked in the numbing hazes of Mako poisoning. That was the difference in and of itself; on previous trips Cloud had been the reluctant back seat passenger of a besieged mind, completely and utterly defenseless to the situation. Although those who knew the blonde would have liked to believe otherwise, this trip was not only a one way affair, but something set in motion by his own hand.

The day had started like any other, and at first there had been nothing distinguishable about it to make anyone suspicious. Cloud had awoken in his bed, the sheets caressing his skin a little bit threadbare and itchy, but so entirely familiar that he'd known where he was moments into consciousness. Knowing where he was, wasn't a luxury often afforded to Cloud, his mind playing tricks upon him more often than not. On more than one unfortunate occasion he had awoken to find himself back in the dreaded lab, conversing with the mad scientist Hojo or flooded with burning green liquid.

Tifa had shielded the children as much as she could from the sight, often unable to rouse Cloud from his waking nightmare, but still Marlene and Denzel knew that something was wrong with him. It was hard to miss the way Cloud often stopped and talked to thin air as if he was confronting a person who wasn't there.

At first it hadn't been that noticeable, their father figure half way around the world taking deliveries. Runs that became more and more frequent as Denzel grew weaker from the curse of Geostigma. Until finally those haunted blue eyes and the quirked lipped smile was nothing but a memory to those who were left behind.

Unbeknownst to his dearest friends and comrades, Cloud had grown steadily worse inside his own head. Memories of the past overlapping those of the present, until he was so plagued he was forced to be constantly on the move to keep some semblance of normalcy and distance. Already fragile from living so many horrors the first time through, the pressure of being forced to replay the broken fragments of so many lies and horrors broke something deep inside the blonde.

Intellectually Cloud had known that he was being stupid, that even though he was breaking on the inside and dying on the outside he should continue to live on. His pretense of finding the cure for Geostigma on behalf of Denzel, his non-biological son, quickly wore thin when he hit nothing but dead ends. His only achievement had been to contract the disease himself.

In his mind he'd acknowledged the fact that it was a fitting punishment, to slowly die from the very disease that he'd failed to eradicate from his child. The perfect death; his skin turning dark in places, and occasionally secreting a thick tar like substance to drip, like a visible marker that the infallible, unbreakable savior of the planet was more broken and defiled than anyone dared to believe.

Often Fenrir had roared through the darkness, pushing Cloud onwards only for him to find himself on the cliffs surrounding Midgar. Invariably he would stop and think; think about the people he was failing, failing as he had everyone he had ever loved. He had failed to protect his mother and the villagers of Nibelheim from Sephiroth. He'd failed to protect Zack from Hojo after throwing his silver haired idol into the depths of Mako pulsating beneath their feet.

Failed again on the cliffs to move his body fast enough, hard enough to stop Zack from falling at the hands of the entire Shinra army. And most recently he'd failed Aerith in the Forgotten City, nearly impaling her upon a sword himself; frozen like the puppet he'd been accused of being as Sephiroth had descended from the heavens much like his mother and impaled the last Ancient upon his legendary katana.

As much as he was heralded as the 'Savior' and 'Hero' of all upon the face of the planet, Cloud Strife knew the truth; he was the savior of nothing. He was nothing but the world's ultimate screw up. Everything he had tried to do he'd failed at; not only could he not save anyone, but he'd never even made his dream; to get into SOLDIER as much as he had once believed he had.

That had been a hard blow to take, to know that the one achievement, the one thing in his life that he had been proud about was not true. The Turks could almost have used the tactic as a form of torture it was so hard to face. The knowledge was compounded by the fact he'd walked around with his first class uniform on, telling everyone what a big shot he was.

To believe that he'd thought so ardently that he could be anything other than a failure, it was laughable. Looking back at his memories he could understand the arrogance behind those Shinra employees he'd encountered while under the stolen guise. They'd probably though he was the most ridiculous thing they'd ever seen, trying to pass himself off as one of their own elite.

~ 0 ~

The Buster Sword stood commemoratively upon the cliffs facing Midgar, a testament to the distance that Zack had travelled with Cloud, only to be gunned down within sight of their destination. A remembrance of both Zack's valiance and Cloud's own failure, that he was so much a burden that the starry eyed SOLDIER who had dreamed only of becoming a hero became so only through his death to save someone who didn't deserve it. More than anyone would ever realize he often wished that Zack had died in his place, a change that if he'd been given the chance he would have whole heartedly implemented.

Zack Fair was as much a puppy as his mentor Angeal Hewley had often stated, his reckless abandon and loyalty to those he loved had in the end been his down fall. But for the few faults in the sable-haired SOLDIER there were so many strengths that he'd barely had the chance to share with the world. He'd almost say that Zack should have been the 'Savior of the planet', but having lived that life first hand he wouldn't have wished it on anybody. Not even the one person he had ever seen so determined to be a hero.

Cloud had become so caught up in the thin line between past and present, that even when he was aware enough to connect his mind with the fact that he had a PHS to answer it was often too late for the many phone calls he never returned. There were the same old thing day after day; where are you Cloud? When are you coming by? Or if he was lucky the occasional message asking for service.

Too soon even those calls asking for service of some kind had run out, and he'd mostly stopped checking his phone altogether, unwilling to be reminded of the life he was running from. It wasn't that anything he had was so terrible that he never wanted to return, even the knowledge that he'd failed another person, and left him at home with no word.

He was sure that Denzel knew, as he himself knew, that searching for a cure for Geostigma was almost as pointless and time consuming as searching for a needle in a haystack. You could sift through every strand of hay, and eventually might come across the needle, but more often than not, by the time you would have found it the time had long passed its need and all the effort was wasted.

He knew when he'd first had the thought to abandon the search for the cure for Geostigma that he was letting both of them down, but he was more than ready and willing to die, and Denzel, although he'd loved living with them he'd caught the boy more than once thinking about returning to his true family. A line of thought he knew Tifa would have discouraged if she'd knew what the boy had been thinking, but he'd known from the moment the words had poured forth that he could say nothing on the matter. He himself had been plagued on and off with such thoughts for more years than he could count.

As a young teen, shortly before he'd gone to Midgar in search of his dreams, his own mother had informed him that such thoughts were not normal and that perhaps he should get it looked at. At the time he'd felt rather disinclined to deal with the issue, but years later, shortly before joining AVALANCHE when he'd been unable to understand the horrible dreams and dark thoughts he'd sought some help with a local doctor. The young lady who'd talked to him had theorized at a combination between Depression and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, even though he'd been unable to remember much of what had really happened.

He'd never told Tifa, or anyone else other than Vincent really, but the doctor had recommended a few drugs to deal with the problem. At the time he'd been unable to explain why he'd been so terrified by the thought of drugs coursing through his veins so readily. When he'd had his memories returned he'd understood that Hojo was the reason he was too scared, even years later, to take the prescription he'd been provided.

He'd kept the fact from everyone because he knew; even with the vague knowledge they had of his past they would encourage him to fill the script, the stupid piece of paper he'd kept until this day inside his one vain belonging. In a draw inside his bedroom, there was a small bound book containing a photo of AVALANCHE, a pressed flower from the garden inside the church, and a father's day card given to him by Denzel.

~ 0 ~

Although filled with remorse, a slow decaying death and a large amount of avoidance (from more things than one), Cloud had been accepting of his life until the remnants had arrived in the remains of Midgar. The motorcycle race on the outskirts of the city while battling both remnants and monsters had been a thrill that he'd long since thought abandoned in his life.

Their presence had spurred things into a state of exhilarated agony in his life; although Cloud had been ready to throw in the towel and live his life to the last in this humdrum state of nothingness his ingrained disposition had forced him to return to Edge and confront the threat damn near head on, if not with a few detours on the way.

To return home to the church and find all his material missing, Tifa unconscious in Aerith's flowers, and Marlene and Denzel missing combine with a particularly vicious attack of Geostigma overwhelmed the sense of purpose he'd accumulated until that moment. To realize that even while he'd gathered up the force of mind to actually do something he'd failed the people he cared for once again, it had seemed as though at the time he had finally pulled himself together enough to do good his efforts were already going to nothing.

The already shaky confidence Cloud had managed to build in a few briefly gathered moments upon his monster of a motorbike, Fenrir, was very quickly knocked down to nothing; A nothing which was firmly crushed under foot when Reno and Rude of the Turks confessed to coming to his rescue. He couldn't help but voice his incompetence aloud, barely aware that he was speaking to other people in the room and not just voicing his musings to the world as he was wont to do when on the open road alone.

He'd been shocked when Tifa had turned to him and spoken, "You have Geostigma, don't you? You're going to give up and die, is that it?"

At first he'd been unable to formulate a reply to that, after all he'd worked so diligently to keep that, along with everything else a secret from all of his friends; especially Tifa and the kids. It wasn't just that he hadn't wanted them to worry about him, after all they had enough on their hands with Denzel's case, let alone adding in his own foolishly contracted outbreak. After all it was what he'd deserved.

His mouth had twitched a little at the corners, as though he was going to say something before he'd fallen into a state of motionless, as though by staying perfectly still he could draw Tifa's attention away from him.

It hadn't worked.

"So it is." Tifa had replied turning away again, almost as if she was unable to bear looking at Cloud once she knew his intent.

As much as he had felt like he'd deserved to be turned away from, he'd been unable to keep his silence, defending himself with, in his own opinion an admittedly rather poor excuse, "There's no cure."

Unwittingly Cloud had incensed the wounded martial artist who whipped around to talk animatedly, "Yeah, but, that's not stopping Denzel, is it? Don't run! Let's fight it together! We can help each other, I know we can."

When Cloud had offered no response to the statement other than averting his eyes to a suddenly fascinating spot across the room Tifa had turned her back on Cloud again. Her black hair swirling like a sable tide around her shoulders as she'd tried to hide her disappointment from the startlingly vulnerable man she'd thought was close to her.

Even trying to ignore the whole conversation blonde eyebrows had drawn together in a mixture of frustration and personal resentment. He'd felt so overwhelmingly useless standing in the room above seventh heaven trying to explain to the girl he'd known since child hood, that he'd once had a crush a mile wide upon, that the next words whispered had hit him harder than had probably even been intended.

"I guess ... that only works for real families." Tifa uttered softly, her eyes carefully averted and her body slumped.

In a fit of pity for the girl, or more aptly the woman who remained, that had at one point followed him to the ends of the earth Cloud had given in and shared a portion of his true thoughts and feelings with her, "Tifa ... I'm not fit to help anyone; not my family, not my friends. Nobody."

"Dilly Dally Shilly Shally," Tifa replied, her voice starting soft and growing more incensed once she'd caught Cloud's attention, "Dilly Dally Shilly Shally!"

Cloud had been so caught up in his own thoughts he'd barely noticed Reno enter the room, his mind only vaguely registering the clomping of boots that preceded the red head when he wanted to advertise his presence. Later Cloud realise upon further thought that the reason the Turks bothered to advertise their presence in the building at all was out of both respect and fear for the blonde headed hero.

When Reno had thrown in his two Gil, stating only that he thought Tifa wanted him to move on he'd been beyond pissed. He hadn't been able to understand how exactly they could sit there and tell him to just 'get over it and get to work". There was a reason that he'd been hiding from everyone for as long as he had, and he'd almost burst out into an angry tirade against the pressuring pair.

The conversation was quickly pushed to the wayside when he'd discovered that Marlene and Denzel had been sighted somewhere. His heart had skipped a beat and then frozen altogether for what felt like a millennia when he'd discovered that Kadaj's gang, the living remnants of Sephiroth, The Nightmare that plagued even him.

When Rude had stoically announced that Kadaj had taken the kids to The Forgotten City he'd felt physically ill at the thought of losing another in the place where he'd lost Aerith. The location alone had been enough to spur Cloud to mount Fenrir and rush to his destination at a speed that would have made any other feel both scared and ill at the same time. Even the motion sickness that occasionally plagued him when he was going too fast hadn't dared rear its head on his journey.

"I have to talk to Rufus," Cloud had announced getting to his feet to feet Reno and Rude.

Immediately Tifa had flown into a rage, "Stop running! I know, even if you find the kids you might not be able to help them. Maybe something will happen that can never unhappen. That scares you, doesn't it? But you need to think about now, really take it in! Look at you; you think you got it so damn hard!"

Rude and Reno had begun to whisper to each other while fidgeting uncomfortably; clearly uncertain as to whether they should have been listening to the conversation.

"Well you hate being alone so let people in! Sure, you don't answer the phone, but I don't see you throwing it away either!" Tifa had continued attempting to hammer sense into Cloud.

When Rude and Reno had stopped chatting the cocky red head had turned to Cloud with a smirk imparting some final words before leaving the building before the blonde had a chance to reply, "You go; the base is all yours."

Tifa turned had quickly turned the conversation back on course, "Which is it, our memory or us?"

~ 0 ~

_With resolute focus Fenrir had zipped through the Forest Of The Ancients, the eerily glowing trees reminiscent of the moon not even having an impact on Cloud's mind other than making his mind detach from reality. His mind had separated itself from his body, drawn into a starling white light which quickly reformed itself into a garden at his feet. The flowers had swayed in their own ethereal breeze almost as if they were waving to him. Aerith's scent; rich deep earth exposed to oxygen, ozone before a storm in the freshest of wilds, and the most delicate floral scent invaded his senses._

_Even with his old friend at his back, Cloud had felt no urge to turn around, the mere presence of the last Ancient that had roamed the planet was enough to calm his scattered nerves and mind a little. At least until Aerith spoke, "You came! Even though you're about to break. That's a good sign," she trilled, her voice filling the air in the combination between nothing and everything as she placed a hand on his arm, "So, why did you come?"_

_Scrunching up his eyebrows Cloud had tried to reason his visitation out, "I think ... I want to be forgiven, more than anything."_

When Cloud had attempted to turn around the vision ended and he was left facing only the Forest Of The Ancients, the glimmering boughs mocking the lack of gently flowered garden and eternal white light. The grating booming tang of bullets being fired had roused Cloud from his single minded daydream. His eyes had alit upon Yazoo and, their silvered hair, pale skin and kitten eyes catching and reflecting the alien light. He managed to dodge the speeding projectiles with ease, his Mako enhanced vision slowing the battle down in his head until he'd almost been able to dance Fenrir out of the way.

The altercation had until that point gone in his favour, until Kadaj had signalled into the trees, alerting the children under his manipulation into creating a block in the path. The effect of the human shield in the form of innocent children had tipped the scaled in the favour of evil. Unwilling to allow his bike to impact with the pliable bodies Cloud regretfully let his pride and joy spin out, slipping to one side and skidding along the path. His body attempted to follow after the speeding machine, stopped by both friction and gravity until his scraped figure came to a stop before rocketing to weary feet.

~ 0 ~

Kitty slitted eyes glanced up at Cloud in much the same way Sephiroth had, the vision of the past morphed somewhat by the shoulder length hair, hanging around an angular face, "I'm glad you could make it!" The most insane of the three remnants had intoned in a softly sarcastic voice.

Angered by the presumptuous tone Cloud thoughtlessly replied angrily, "I only came for the kids."

The statement, rather than having the presumed and desired upon effect had just fed the less than stable mind of the incomplete copy. Lips had quirked slightly in impetuous abandon, and Kadaj's upper body turned to an angle, bending at the waist to address his enraptured army.

"See this man? He's our big brother, but alas, in our happy flock he's what you call a "black sheep."" Kadaj called, attempting to incense the children who seemed to blank to really care.

When Kadaj made an attempt to push the altercation towards a physical brawl rather than just a verbal one, Marlene called Cloud's name, distracting him just long enough for Cloud to grab the remnant's weapon. Loz and Yazoo launched into a flurry of action, Loz darting in with such speed that his figure turned into a blurred humanoid shape as it hurtled towards his opponent, and Yazoo fired off a rapid succession of in such a rapid flurry that if he was reloading his weapon Cloud never knew it.

The battle raged back and forth from two extremes, Loz taking the close quartered fighting, Kadaj the middle, and Yazoo the long range with his wickedly shining weapon. For minutes at a time war was waged in the middle of the air, gravity easily laughed at and defied by those who had long since shucked off its limiting constraints. For what felt like mere seconds at a time, the upper hand fluctuated between both sides confusingly.

At one moment Cloud would be a blur of blonde hair and shining steel as he repeatedly broke apart and reassembled The First Tsurugi in rapid succession to deal with Loz's electrified hand bolt, Kadaj's sharp double bladed katana, and Yazoo's rapid firing firearm. Then the three remnants would force their control over Cloud, their smirks becoming more pronounced, weapons shining keenly.

Like a miniature war the battle seemed to go on forever until the scales made their final tip towards the side of the remnants, the long period of inaction that Cloud had been imposed with, and the strains of Geostigma running rife through his body until they finally left Cloud at enough of an advantage to find himself in serious trouble. Three on one would have been a hard enough battle when Cloud was at his previous strength, the range of weapons making things more than a little difficult even for a battle hardened tactician like himself.

It was almost inevitable that he would fail in his mission. He'd told Tifa when she'd pushed the idea that he wasn't fit to save anyone, and the fact that his prediction was coming true was at once was satisfying, proving his uselessness, and disheartening for the same reason. It was only pure luck that a splash of red painted itself across the sky, slashing through the almost mono-chrome world like a startling splash of scarlet blood.

Saviour came in the form of the most unlikely figure; Vincent Valentine painted starkly against the glowing background. His form was nearly completely consumed by the large swath of red the shape shifter wore as a cape. While on any other the garment might have seemed ostentatious and ridiculous, only Vincent could make the bright splash seem almost subdued and classy. Cloud couldn't help but admire the 'vampires' swift moves, absurdly elegant as he flew about in a flutter of material Vincent quickly dealt with the remnants before scooping Cloud up and whisking him away to relative safety.

Cloud couldn't help but stare at the water, rubbing his arm delicately, "See? I knew I'd be no help," he whispered to himself already damning his actions, "Vincent, what do you know about this?"

Silence reigned for a moment before the stoic man finally made a comment, "I come here often. I've seen what Kadaj's crew is doing," In the blink of an eye Vincent was at Clouds side, holding hid arm in hand firmly, "The stigma. It's a symptom of alien matter infesting the body; the body tries to eliminate it and overcompensates. Inside our bodies is a current, like the Lifestream, that current is what fights off any malevolent intruders."

Confused Cloud turned his vision from the lake to regard Vincent, his lips set in a contemplative frown, "What do you mean by 'Intruder'?"

"The Sephiroth Gene. Jenova's mimetic legacy. Call it what you want." Vincent replied in a bland voice.

"You're well informed." Cloud replied his voice just as bland as Vincent's in his tiredness.

Vincent shrugged, his cape rippling artistically around him, "Tseng and Elena; they were brought here half dead. They must have been brutally tortured. I did what I could to save them, but; well, you'll see."

Cloud's brows drew together as his frown became more pronounced, "Tortured?"

"They had it coming. They got their hands on Jenova's Head."

"Then when Kadaj says he's looking for Mother..." Cloud replied softly, thinking his conclusion aloud even as he reminded himself that even though it was just Vincent thinking aloud in company was a bad idea.

"Heavens dark harbinger. The calamity; Jenova. If they wanted to they could recreate Sephiroth." Vincent replied a flicker in his eyes the only betrayal that he felt something about the issue as he hid the lower half of his face in the cowl of his cloak.

One issue was still plaguing his mind, and before the thought was properly formulated Cloud found himself asking the question aloud, "Kadaj … what is he?"

A delicate eyebrow arched in reply before Vincent gave a muffled reply, "Hm. I would rather not know."

A rustling sound permeated the air startling both men into action, their guard up immediately until a little girl with a ribbon in her hair ran into their midst. Cloud's eyes widened as he realised he had forgotten about one of the two children he had come to retrieve from the remnants. Guilt coursed through him in a cold wave as his eyes searched the little girl's body for any signs of injury or worry.

Not only would Tifa kick his ass to the Northern Crater and back for letting Marlene get hurt in his own stupid self-involvement but Barret would turn his over sized gun arm on him for even thinking of abandoning the girl. Reflexively Cloud looked around to see if a large silver gun was pointing at him. Realistically he knew Barret was out in search of oil, and that he would have heard the heavy set man the moment he was anywhere within range of Cloud, but habit was an ingrained thing.

"Marlene!" Cloud yelled moving forward to meet the girl.

Marlene's eyes were wide as she panted in exertion, "Cloud! Denzel and Tifa!"

Cloud sighed drawing the panicked girl into his arms in an attempt to comfort her after her stint with Kadaj and his gang, "Tifa is all right."

A flustered pout drew itself across Marlene's lips as she pulled back to look at Cloud, her eyes assessing, trying to figure out if Cloud was telling her the truth or if he was merely trying to comfort her into complacency rather than deal with an upset child, "I wanna talk to her!" she asserted.

Sighing Cloud plunged his hands into his pockets in search of his phone. The frown drawn across his own lips grew more pronounced as he searched for his PHS diligently. More than anything he had wanted to reassure both Tifa and Marlene that he was half way there, that Marlene was safe from the remnants, that Tifa was alive and breathing, and most of all that he would find a way to get Denzel home. Even if he had to get Vincent to retrieve his son in his inept place.

When Marlene realised that didn't seem to be able to provide her with a phone she turned to look entreatingly at Vincent, unruffled by his appearance, "May I?"

His crimson eyes shone with amusement as he lifted the folds of his cloak aside to reveal the lack of PHS. Marlene's eyes grew wide as she regarded the man who apparently didn't even own a phone of his own, something that to her was unheard of as all of AVALANCHE had them. Or at least all of the AVALANCHE members she was familiar with.

"You don't have a phone?" Marlene asked in a shocked tone.

Cloud ignored Marlene and her question, deciding that it was clearly rhetorical, "Vincent, will you bring Marlene to Tifa? I'm going to go see Shinra and get a few answers."

Vincent shook his head in denial, "I can't do that."

"But I..." Cloud started his sentence trailing off as Marlene blew up.

"Forget it, Cloud! Why don't you ever pay any attention to us?" Marlene yelled, her voice wavering and her eyes filling with tears slightly as she vented her terrified frustration upon the man who she'd spent so many day sitting by Denzel's bedside waiting for. Unable to take standing alone in the clearing against one of her parental figures, and a bit of an idol, Marlene flew across the clearing into Vincent, tucking herself snugly under his red cloak out of sight, leaning sadly against his leg.

"Marlene, please, give me some time. There's a battle to be fought, but it's not as simple as just fighting. Understand?" Cloud begged, trying to get the girl to understand his line of reasoning, as convoluted and stupid as it might be to others.

"No I don't!" Marlene replied pushing herself further behind the sheltering fabric and firm leg.

"Cloud, are you sure this is about fighting?" Vincent asked a single slim brow arched in stern question.

Tensing up in reflection Cloud turned his thoughts to a conversation he'd had earlier with Aerith. His eyes closed as he recalled the words, the image as clear in his head as if he was still standing in the Ancients little garden surrounded by an infinity of caressing white blankness.

"_Are you angry with me?" Cloud asked his voice small as he asked the question he'd been worriedly pondering for so long._

"_No," Aerith replied in a soft tone, "Why would I be?"_

"_But I let you die," Cloud protested._

"_Dilly dally, shilly shally. Isn't it time you did the forgiving?" Aerith sighed, her voice gentle as she tired to impress upon Cloud the will to live and move on._

Opening his eyes again Cloud regarded Vincent curiously, wondering whether or not to ask his question. He knew that if there was anyone who would understand his thoughts and feelings on the matter it would be the ex-Turk. They'd both lived through similar horrors at the hands of the same mad man. A sense of kinsman ship had developed because of the understanding he and Vincent had reached during the height of their AVALANCHE days. Yes, he decided, he would ask.

"Are sins ever forgiven?" Cloud asked hopefully.

Vincent was silent for a moment before contemplatively replying, "I've never tried."

"You mean ... never tried." Cloud replied, thinking deeply about the situation. He didn't want to live with the burden of his sins forever, and if sitting around and letting others take care of it meant he would have to deal with them, and getting up and moving forward might lead to a form of retribution...

"Marlene, let's go." Cloud called, nodding to Vincent as Marlene ran towards him, "Well I'm going to try. I'll phone in the verdict."

For a moment Cloud remembered that he'd lost his phone during the fight with the remnants, and that Vincent didn't have a phone to call anyway, before he brushed it aside. It was time to take action, and leave all thought behind. Now was the time to live and protect those he loved, as he had been unable before, and this time he would be successful.

~ 0 ~

The ride home on Fenrir had almost been torture; Cloud's thoughts had become a tangled tangent that even he couldn't dissect. Simple mantras repeated themselves cruelly over and over again, things like; I'm nothing but a failure, they would be better off if I left them alone. There had been no reprieve from the self-deprecating thoughts.

When they'd reached the Seventh Heaven, Cloud had impressed upon Marlene the need to hide out of sight in the relative safety of their familiar building. When he'd been certain the little girl was safely ensconced in the building the blonde had gunned Fenrir's engine, heading for the centre of Edge where he'd briefly glimpsed the form of Bahamut-Sin.

"Marlene will be safe, I took her home." Cloud had called, when his eyes alit upon Tifa's familiar figure.

"Mm," Tifa had hummed thoughtfully.

At the lack of response Cloud had smiled a little, the barest edges of his lips upturning, "I feel lighter."

When Tifa had only made another unintelligible hum in response Cloud had resorted to a joke to clear the somewhat awkward air, "Maybe I lost some weight, all that dilly dallying."

When a smile had drifted across Tifa's lips Cloud had felt relieved, some of the weight on his shoulders alleviated. A relief that was only made more pronounced when Denzel turned to smile and regard Cloud, seemingly forgiving his father figure for his extended absence and failures.

"I'm going to go back and see Marlene. Okay Cloud? We'll wait for you," Denzel had called, turning to run away before turning innocently back to the blonde again, "We'll see you there won't we Cloud?"

Cloud had only been able to summon a thin guilty smile at that to reply with a simple "Yeah."

For a moment Cloud's attention had stayed on the retreating figure as the mousy haired teen had run home. His steps were almost bounds, as if he was gleeful at both the return of his dad and his sister.

Quickly the blonde headed warrior had pushed his attention into the present, focusing on the action of the scene and not the psychologies behind it. Tifa had thrown her slim body onto the powerful motorcycle behind him, and with a swift glance at Bahamut-Sin, whose large body devoured the skyline they were away.

Observing the battle between his former AVALANCHE comrades and the enraged summon, Cloud had finally stepped in when things seemed to be going in favour of the brutish creature. A beam of pure energy had made its way to a more than slightly perturbed Barret, only for Cloud to save the gunman with his swift reflexes.

Barret hadn't given his saviour any chance to gather himself before launching straight into a dialogue, "Hey, the hell you been."

Rather than reply Cloud had locked his swords into place, readying himself before launching into an exhilarating battle. It had sent adrenaline and pure pleasure singing through his veins, to be back on the battlefield with a good opponent on the other end of his sword.

Barret had given Cloud a hand toward his adversary, and when the blonde had fallen from the sky it had been first Cid with his spear to launch him towards the heavens again on his large spear. With grunts of exertion and words of encouragement the rest of his allies had followed.

Red XIII and Cait Sith had fingered his thick soldier like shirt, using the fabric to hurl him towards the summon. Just when the momentum had started to slow infinitesimally Yuffie had appeared, catching Cloud's booted feet and heaving him upwards with a mighty "Hiyaa" that would have made him laugh if he'd had time to appreciate it then.

Finally, just as Cloud had reached the tip of the building Vincent had stepped into the open air, grabbing Cloud's hand and hurling him with only a simple "Fly!" as encouragement.

Nervous anticipation had abounded until finally Cloud had impacted with the blue beam of energy the Summon had released making him fight for altitude until a slim hand appeared out of the light with a soft voice.

The soft words, "Ready?" spoken in Aerith's voice had brought a smile to his lips until finally he emerged from the shining light, running along the beasts back and slaying it with his Climhazzard Limit Break. The Summon dissolved in a flurry of blue light as Cloud fell with it back to the surface of the planet, no longer defying gravity.

~ 0 ~

When Cloud had returned to Fenrir, he'd quickly found himself in a battle that stretched halfway across the ruins between the cities of Midgar and Edge. Suspiciously Cloud had only been able to find two of the silver haired men who'd been plaguing the city.

With barely any time to breathe or plot the skirmish moved along the decaying highways of the upper city. When Cloud had found himself inside a thin, poorly lit tunnel (not really a hindrance to any of their eyes with all the Mako in their systems), he'd finally had to finish the fight.

Before the remnants had known what was happening they'd been left with one bike between them, the other cleaved into two neat halves smoking tellingly. Their weapons were almost beyond use, and to their stunned surprise, rather than finish the conflict, Cloud had taken advantage of their confusion and sped off in search of his third and final remnant of the day.

When Cloud finally found the less than sane silver haired man he'd been parked inside the church, almost nuzzling the box which contained Jenova's head, calling her name and yelling. He'd been so caught up in his reunion that he'd barely noticed his enemies approach, catching on only when Fenrir knocked the doors of the church open, rumbling angrily.

Kitty slitted eyes had narrowed angrily, before Kadaj had fired a magical attack at one of the churches beams, launching the bike onto the beam and making an escape as Cloud suffered an unfortunate attack of Geostigma. Just when he'd thought that he wouldn't have a chance to catch up with his adversary and beat him Aerith's church had yielded another miracle.

Water had filled the small garden amongst the broken floor boards in the church, welling up to create a small pond. When the water had spilled over the edges of the wood and caught Cloud's arm he'd been unable to do anything, frozen in surprise as he watched the water cure his Geostigma.

Aerith's voice had echoed inside his head, her words encouraging him to get up and move. Ripping the cape from his arm Cloud had remounted Fenrir, his lips tilted a little in a form of pleasure. He'd felt lighter somehow, as if by curing his ailments that Aerith had given physical proof that she had in fact forgiven him.

When he'd caught up with Kadaj yet again in the ruins of Midgar the wild eyed remnant had claimed the high ground, and Cloud had been forced to abandon his precious bike in order to accommodate for the fight that had yet to ensue.

Kadaj had smiled gleefully, his lips curling almost sadistically over shiny white teeth, "Brother! I'm with her at last."

Cloud's eyes turned to silver and black box enfolded in thin, black swathed arms, "So, what's going to happen now?"

His eyes wide behind his wispy silver hair the psychotic remnant had laughed, a very unmanly giggle that seemed almost wrong coming from the lips of someone so close to Sephiroth, "Hehe, Mother's going to tell me!"

Cloud's lips had drawn up in a mocking smirk, "I guess a remnant wouldn't really know."

Kadaj's eyes and smile took on a more feral cast, his fingers lit with a wavering of pure blue energy. Almost in a hiss of defiance the angered boy hurled his retort at Cloud before attacking him viciously. He had complete trust in the being he called Mother, whether she wanted him to give up his life to return another's or not. He'd just wanted to make someone happy, and feel loved in some way.

"So what if I'm just a puppet? Once upon a time … you were too!"

War was waged among falling buildings, decimating the remaining metal work that had survived the destruction of meteor. In Cloud's view it had been rather ironic that most of the out fitting on which they had fought had weathered the consequences of Sephiroth's previous selfishness, only to provide the ground on which to stand for their most recent.

It was funny in a way which only someone like him could have understood.

Somewhere along the way, in the middle of being lost, he'd found the strength he'd once had. The same indomitable will that had allowed him to whether the ills of his life the first time through. To take on Sephiroth; the man he had viewed as a child, along with the rest of the world, as his utmost idol and hero. His strength, both in this battle and emotionally had returned to allow him to defeat the remnant.

Blow after blow fell in a flurry of attacks, until Cloud had thought there was no chance he would lose this encounter. A fleeting burst of triumph had risen up in his chest for a few moments as he'd stared down at the single gloved hand clutching almost desperately at a ledge. He'd thought the end was in sight then, that he'd already emerged victorious.

A foolish sentiment in retrospect, one that had remained bitterly in his head for months after the battle, how had he thought even for a moment he was good enough. At the height of his jubilance, Kadaj had turned the tide.

Shifting his weight onto the balls of his feet the silver haired boy had launched the box containing Jenova at Cloud in an effort to distract him, before quickly launching himself after the object. Flash of light across his chest, and a smirk across his lips Kadaj couldn't resist a final retort.

"My Reunion … Bet you're dying to watch …"

Horrified Cloud had launched himself after the solitary figure descending through the hazy mid day sunlight, only to have his attempt at a finishing blow blocked, not as he'd hoped by the crazy eyed remnant, but The Nightmare himself. Sephiroth.

~ 0 ~

"Good to see you Cloud," Sephiroth greeted, his voice as sarcastic and mocking as ever. Clearly time in the lifestream had not dulled the apathetic contempt the ex-General had held.

Drawing his sword, the legendary seven foot Masamune, back Sephiroth launched an attack that staggered Cloud, throwing the blonde several feet in the air into another building. Dazed and confused from a slight winding he could only watch as the man he had already killed several times made his way to an even higher spot to look down on his enemy condescendingly.

"Your Geostigma is gone? That's too bad," Sephiroth intoned sinisterly.

"Sephiroth, what do you want?"

A type of madness went through the silver haired mans eyes then. His thoughts clearly introspective and crazed. It seemed even inside his own mind the son of The Calamity wasn't able to completely emulate human ideals anymore.

"The last thoughts of Geostigma's dead," Sephiroth finally replied his lips quirking up as he spoke, "Those remnants will join the Lifestream and girdle the planet, choking it, corroding it. What I want, Cloud, is to sail the darkness of the cosmos with this Planet as my vessel; just as my mother did before long ago."

There was a pause, Sephiroth lifting a gloved hand to a quickly darkening sky, then he resumed his speech, "Then one day we'll find a new planet, and on its soil we'll create a shining future."

Horrified, and yet at the same time completely unsurprised at the ex-General's sadistic nature he found himself unable to speak, move, or even swallow past the lump that had formed in his throat. His head was filled with visions of the dark and disturbing future, the Jenova cells inside him activating and allowing him to see the idea all to clearly for his own comfort.

"What about this planet?" Cloud demanded angrily.

"Well Cloud, that's up to you," Sephiroth replied spurred back into action.

Cloud and Sephiroth flew at each other rapidly, unable to sit still and chat any longer. Their battle resumed, rocketing to epic eights, until they were moving so fast, hitting so hard that the onlookers seated in the Shera were no longer able to follow their movements.

Teleporting in the way that only Sephiroth had ever done, the silver haired man disappeared and suddenly reappeared to Cloud's left, knocking him into the ruins a decrepit old building. Startled, but unable to take the time to calm down and think Cloud kept up his own flurry of attacks fighting his adversary through the remains of offices.

"Where did you find this strength?" Sephiroth demanded, his propensity to question talent giving him momentary pause.

"I'm not telling you!" Cloud answered back angrily, slashing out with First Tsurugi in a particularly rough movement.

Silence reigned for what felt like a millennia, the air permeated only with the sounds of clashing metal, rustling leather, and clomping boots. Their fight progressed to a whole other building before more words were finally unleashed from the silver villain's mouth.

Sephiroth suddenly launched himself into the air, his lips curling up in a sardonic grin, "I thought of a wonderful present for you," Sephiroth intoned, slashing a large piece of debris in half in an effort to hit Cloud who merely sliced the hazard in half, "Shall I give you despair?"

Suddenly Sephiroth gained the upper hand, his large sword knocking Cloud off the edge of the building. It was only his Mako reflexes and his battle hardened reflexes that saved Cloud as he managed to embed the First Tsurugi into the wall in front of him, using the large sword as a stationary platform.

Sephiroth hovered above his adversary; his lips pulled into a smirk, "On your knees," he commanded, "I want you to beg for forgiveness."

With a rumble, the top of the building rained down upon the two warriors, forcing them both back into a combination of battle and evasion. Jumping onto the debris projectiles Cloud and Sephiroth fought further, swords flashing silver steel.

A stabbing pain flashed through Cloud's shoulder as his back hit the wall, Masamune sheathed into the warped steel through his skin. Blood spilled down his shoulder, a grown passing his lips as he struggled against the force.

"Tell me what you cherish most; give me the pleasure of taking it away." Sephiroth demanded darkly.

Flashes of memory passed Cloud's eyes, Aerith's smile, Zack's hair ruffling, Tifa's hugs, Denzel's gifts, and even Vincent's stoic silence. Even though most of the things he cherished were already dead, taken from him both directly and indirectly by Sephiroth.

"I pity you, you just don't get it at all" Cloud said, his voice strained as he pulled the wickedly sharp katana out of his shoulder, suddenly launching into an attack, "There's not a thing I don't cherish!"

Cloud and Sephiroth both launched themselves into the air, Sephiroth's attack missing, easily deflected under the onslaught of Cloud's strength as he drew up his Omnislash attack upon Sephiroth. His limit break flashed, bright blue energy surrounding the many parts of the separated First Tsurugi for a moment allowing the parts to flow independently in the air until, with a final slash it was over.

"Stay where you belong … in my memories," Cloud mumbled.

"I will … never be a memory," Sephiroth replied, his final words filling the air as a single dark wing ensconced him and disintegrated leaving behind Kadaj's wounded form.

Rain began to fall from the sky for the first time in a long while. A cleansing rain that washed away the Geostigma of those it came in contact with. It showed compassion to the world, and in turn Cloud showed compassion to his fallen rival. Cloud supported the remnant, holding him in his arms until the wet, leather clad figure ascended to the lifestream in a flow of dancing green wisps.

The universe, unable to let anything go, sent one last obstacle into Cloud's path. A bullet suddenly lodged itself under the blonde haired warrior's skin. Cloud gasped in pain, turning his face away from the rain to regard the forgotten remnants. With a sigh he launched himself at the remaining brothers as they too attacked.

"Ugh. We'll go ... together," Yazoo groaned seconds before the explosion of white light.

"Together ... we'll play." Added Loz.

~ 0 ~

Peace had flooded Cloud, floating in the enveloping whiteness that managed to be both entrancing and soothing all at once. He was so perfectly happy there that he'd have given anything to stay that way. Anything at all.

When Aerith and Zack had told him he had no place there they had been wrong. Perhaps if they'd truly understood what had gone on in Cloud's head and heart since he'd been abandoned by them then they might have taken the time to fully explain.

As it was, three months, two weeks, four days, and several hours later; Cloud Strife, Saviour of the planet, infallible hero, was dead.

* * *

**Alright, so that's the end of the prologue, it may seem a bit sudden, but for the sake of length I had to end it there, before it developed a life of its own. Please review if you can. Any feedback is appreciated.**


	2. Only The Good Die Young

Hey, sorry it took a little longer for me to write than I'd intended. Sometimes sharing one computer with the whole family can really suck. Anyways, this chapter is still set in the ... future? Present? After Advent Children. Before we could go back there were a few lose ends to tie up. Sorry if that's disappointing, but in order for Cloud to learn a lesson when he goes back it had to be done.

Thanks for all the reviews I have received, they really meant a lot to me. Thanks for review go to ShokubaiYume, C-loke, Kiyosaisei Ichimaru, -Yuna's Reincarnation-1, hermit hideaway, Barranca, and . Thanks guys, and virtual cookies to you all. Also thanks to everyone who favorited or alerted this story or me in one way or another. Hope you have a great day.

**Word Count**; 7,000 words (a little short, sorry)

**Warnings**; Nothing much, I think there might be some bad language somewhere, suicide and adult themes I guess.

**Disclaimer**; In the little over a week it took me to get this new chapter out I have not mysteriously gained ownership of either Final Fantasy or the real owners Square Enix. Even though I had a dream I did and woke up thinking that for five whole minutes until I realized that based on the lack of flying sandwiches clearly it was a dream. (Unless you want a long story don't ask about the sandwich part...) Although I did take creative liberty with Cloud's moms name. Please don't sue.

* * *

**Rewind**

**Chapter 1**

_Only the good die young._

It wasn't like he'd planned to do anything; Cloud couldn't help but think some time after the act had been completed. Granted he wasn't exactly regretting it yet, although he knew that if he had to hang around in that one stupid spot any longer then he might just regret it for the pure and simple fact that no matter how hard he tried his body wouldn't move.

Simply put, the ghost of Cloud Strife, rather than having immediately been swallowed up by the lifestream was stuck on the surface of the planet, his insubstantial body seated on a wooden pew that his ethereal form couldn't distinguish.

It was just his luck that even when he was dead and gone the fleeting peace he'd managed to gain while floating into the afterlife would disappear, leaving him unable to return to the planet. Zack and Aerith had previously told him as much.

_"This one is too big to adopt," Aerith laughed, her voice ringing in the vast light of nothingness.  
_

"_Tough luck, friend. Sounds like you don't have a place here," Zack replied his voice barely concealing fond laughter._

He'd almost thought that maybe it had been the Jenova cells that had barred him from receiving his place in the lifestream along with those he loved. But that was the problem, although Zack had never taken to the cells as well as he himself unfortunately had, the former SOLDIER had been injected with active cells himself during their time in the Nibelheim lab.

Even many years after the fact, and with the knowledge that Hojo would never again come for him or his deceased comrade after his death at the hands of AVALANCHE's own ex-Turk Vincent Valentine he didn't doubt that he'd never be able to escape the memory. Especially trapped in a state of limbo, his disgruntled spirit forced forever to do nothing but watch his own corpse decay.

"Oh goodie..." Cloud murmured to himself in bitter acknowledgement of his less than enviable situation.

If he'd known this was the outcome, to be slowly driven even madder by circumstances no longer under his control he might just have considered sticking around a little longer. As it was the fact that he was sitting in a slowly darkening church in the old part of Midgar was less than ideal. The fact that he was a mere ghost regarding his own corpse floating gently in the pool that had once been Aerith's garden was just the icing on the cake.

"I've had enough now, I want to leave please!" Cloud called in an attempt to incite some action.

It was almost ironic that at that moment action did indeed visit the otherwise solitary church, although not the type of action the blonde haired ghost had been anticipating. Obviously Tifa had noted his absence, and in her usual fashion as of late had come to the church in search of her friend. When she'd seen Fenrir parked outside the stone building the martial artist had obliviously entered calling his name.

"Cloud?" Tifa called, her feet making enough noise to make ghost Cloud wince, but still less than he himself would have made with his heavy combat boots on the wooden floor.

"Hello Tifa," Cloud greeted, his tone bored as he knew the woman wouldn't be able to hear him, "you might not want to look over there."

As he'd expected Tifa carried on her course across the floor, scanning the area in confusion. Finally her eyes fell upon a few irregularities, The Buster Sword sat propped up against the wall behind Aerith's lake, and upon closer inspection the tips of two booted feet could be seen above the boards of the floor.

Rushing over, the wine eyed woman clasped a hand to her mouth her eyes widening as she took in the blood stained figure that was Clouds body, floating in the pool of water. In an attempt to make sure he bled enough to die Cloud had used his beloved Buster sword, cutting his left hand damn near off, and for extra measure slicing deep into his neck. The sheer amount of blood loss, an amount too much for even mako to heal, had turned the normally crystal clear water a mix between wine red and pink.

Cloud stood behind his former flatmate and stared at his own body blankly, it wasn't a pretty sight, but the pure fact that it was his own body lying there in that water slowly dying his hair a red colour was morbidly amusing. If the normally golden strands had been longer, and he'd been wearing a suit, he could have been mistaken for Reno, the incorrigible Turk that often drank at the Seventh Heaven and came to the church to bother Cloud.

Laughter, unexplainable and unstoppable, began to pour forth hysterically from Cloud's mouth as he looked at his body. It was perfect right down to the artful arrangement of his body floating in the coloured water; his arms tucked across his chest and First Tsurugi laid languidly down the length of his body. Just like a fallen warrior he'd once seen in a text book during his Shinra cadet days.

A hoarse cry of horror passed Tifa's lips, her body frozen in shock, unable to process the sight for a moment before leaping into action. Lurching forward the martial artist leapt into the coloured water and pulled Cloud into her arms checking futilely for a pulse even she had instinctively known she'd never find.

Tears gathered in her eyes and spilled over, trailing in wet silver tracks down her pale cheeks.

Soundlessly the woman's lips moved, and with careful application of his lip reading skill Cloud was able to discern the phrase, "Cloud, no, why?" in the trembling movements. Really he might have otherwise have guessed the words to be something along those lines, but actually seeing them was like a punch in the gut.

It was when he heard his own phone ring that his whole body twitched in surprise the urge to answer the phone almost compelling his body to retrieve and answer his PHS, a pointless action for a ghost whom no one could see or hear. Dragging Cloud's body with her Tifa retrieved the technology and drew it to her ear answering the device with a simple "hello".

Leaning down close, his body damn near in Tifa's lap Cloud used his enhanced senses to eavesdrop on the conversation. Not that he couldn't have hear well enough from where he had previously been, but sitting where he was would yield more physical and emotional information. When the answering voice rang into the phone Cloud found himself surprised at the person on the other side of the phone.

It wasn't often that Vincent Valentine felt the need to call him, in fact in the time Vincent had even owned a phone most of the mans contacts could count the number of times they'd heard from the stoic individual on one hand. Especially Yuffie, Cloud remembered with a smile. He'd received an irate phone call informing him that Yuffie had no right to call his number, it was his phone.

It wasn't that Yuffie meant to piss Vincent off. Well, actually knowing Yuffie that was one of her intentions, but unfortunately for the ninja she was head over heels for their resident vampire. While the subject of her affections was, much like himself, stuck in the past with a lover that no longer existed.

Not that Cloud had ever had a lover, no, a few one night stands maybe in an effort to become normal, but most of the time it was a hand that satisfied his needs. His own that was.

"Tifa? Where is Cloud, did you find him?" Vincent asked, his deep voice rasping into the phone.

There was a moment of silence on Tifa's end before she replied, "Yeah, I found him. Vincent, you and the others need to come out here. Cloud…he's dead."

"I see, so he finally gave in," Vincent replied, his voice managing to convey a large amount of melancholy even as a disembodied voice. It was amazing the way he had the ability to act as such.

"What do you mean finally gave in? He was fine, I saw him yesterday. He was fine then, a bit confused about where he was, but then he usually is when he wakes up. What are you talking about Vincent?" Tifa asked, her voice beginning to sound desperate.

"I'm not sure who you're trying to convince more there Tifa, Vincent or yourself…" Cloud mumbled, his guilt roiling in his stomach as he tried to reassure himself that they just didn't understand, "You're so far in denial it's almost comical.

Except he wasn't laughing. Not anymore.

"…Perhaps this is a conversation we should have in person. I will meet you at the Seventh Heaven," Vincent finally replied before hanging up the phone.

Tifa stared at Cloud's phone for a few moments. The humming of a disconnected line filling the air as she tried to process the fact that Cloud was dead, and Vincent was on his way to have a chat. Hysterical laughter bubbled up as she mumbled to herself, "We can talk shop over tea and scones."

Cloud snorted in response, "Only amongst a group such as ours can a death be considered shop talk."

Tifa closed the phone and tucked it into the folds of Clouds ragged blanket where she'd found it as if even in death she couldn't bear the thought of leaving something out of place. It made Cloud wish he was a poltergeist so he could have some fun. He'd pick up the phone and move it around the room and have it ring itself. A shame really that his almost totally incorporeal form didn't extend to picking up objects.

"It's almost like some kind of punishment, don't you think?" Cloud asked bending over his own prone body. The intense urge to pry the eye lids back shuddered through his body and ghostly limbs twitched with the intense need to know what Mako eyes looked like after death. The only others he'd known under such circumstances were the remnants and Zack, all of whom had disappeared after their deaths.

Tifa removed her own rarely used PHS from the pocket of her dress and punched some buttons into the device before beginning a conversation with the occupant of the other end of the line. This time Cloud ignored the conversation. He had a fairly good idea of what must be going on. He'd heard the first conversation he didn't need to hear anymore as all of their friends received a call informing them of his death.

While the news of his death was relayed to everyone the blonde laid his body down amongst the pews again. His eyes wavered shut and when they opened again the light had changed and the sound of scuffling fabric and clinking metal filled the air.

~ 0 ~

The irony of a dead person falling asleep to awake to the presence of the undead brought forth another spate of laughter from the groggy ghost. He cleared tears of hysterical mirth from his eyes and regarded the red cloaked form closely. His lips drew up in a true quirk somewhere close to a smile.

Cloud hadn't seen Vincent since they defeated Bahamut SIN together, and hadn't heard from the crimson eyed experiment since the short phone call he'd taken after Yuffie had bombarded Vincent's new PHS with calls. The though of their short conversation glowed inside Cloud warmly before diminishing into a stark guilt when he noticed the gunman's vision was riveted on his body, still clutched tightly in Tifa's arms.

"Tifa, you need to let him go now," Vincent intoned drawing the aforementioned woman's gaze from the corpse in her grip to the man in front of her.

It was clear to all three occupants in the room that Vincent wasn't just speaking on the physical level, but on all other levels as well. Even Cloud, in his self-depreciative haze could understand that the gunman was speaking of his spirit as well.

Already Tifa was looking wan and malnourished. She must have been sitting there for some time in order for Vincent to have arrived upon the scene. This made Cloud guiltily wonder about the children. About his child.

When he'd gone through with the act all he'd been thinking about was himself. His horrors and nightmares. His dreams. It was all too clear now what a terrible parent he must have been. It was a wonder that Denzel hadn't disowned him.

Quickly Cloud decided there was no point in thinking about how he'd failed another when that was so far over and done with and there was something more pressing in the way to deal with. It was almost out of character for him, but death and the amount of time to contemplate left time management seeming even more, or perhaps even less crucial feeling.

Now was the time to wonder –

"Where are the kids?" Vincent asked beating his ghostly companion to the punch. Not that Tifa would have heard if he'd asked, but still the point was he was about to ask that. It seemed even when he was dead Vincent still held that uncanny ability to read his mind.

"At, at the bar," Tifa replied her eyes flickering with a hint of emotion before it disappeared only to be drowned out by sorrow again, "Rude and Reno are looking after them."

At the mention of Reno the blonde haired ghost's face screwed up in consternation. His death had left two Turks in charge of their children. Probably the worst influences the barmaid could find in the entire city of Edge. Even Rufus Shinra would have been a better influence with his bitter 'I wanted to rule the world with fear,' attitude and his world domination plots.

The former President of The Shinra Electric Company had no idea that he knew of the brats plans. He'd known for months before the fight with the remnants, before Reno had 'spilled the beans' and mentioned rebuilding Shinra.

At the time he'd figured they thought he was stupid. There'd been no way he was going to allow the company that literally ripped the life from the planet to reform. But then he'd caught the Geostigma and he'd been too sick to do anything about it except contemplate the past and search for a cure that constantly eluded him.

And in the end, after the attack on the city of Edge had been over. After he'd beaten Sephiroth and the remnants again, then he'd simply given up on caring. He'd tried to care at first. He'd tried so hard trying to throw himself into life with Tifa and the kids.

Perhaps that was why the wine eyed martial artist had thought he'd been fine. Maybe she'd suffered a different kind of denial than he'd thought. A stronger kind. It could have been that in all the time he struggled she truly bought into the façade.

How perfect, and how sad. Upon constructing the pretence Cloud had truly meant it. Had legitimately himself been trying to pretend the façade was true. And he'd been terrible at it, but for the image to have been so readily accepted by Tifa. She really must have loved him more than he'd thought.

For years the barmaid had carried a torch for her childhood friend. A love which he'd never been able to return. It wasn't that he hadn't liked her for one reason or another. It was that he'd been unable to like, unable to stand, anyone altogether.

Circumstances had complied inside of the blonde, which had left him blind and resistant to any type of attraction and contact. True he'd grown better over the years. He'd had to living in such close quarters with the AVALANCHE crew for so long as they traipsed the planet. He just couldn't love anyone. Not in the same way as others.

Vincent's voice shook Cloud from his intense introspection and forced him to return to reality, "Rude and Reno?"

"The Turks," Tifa clarified for the gunman who hadn't spent quite as much time around the troublesome pair as the rest of his team mates.

"Why are they babysitting?" Vincent inquired, his voice holding incredulity. It was clear he was wondering how the organization he'd once been a part of had been downgraded from top quality, highly paid assassins and special task force to a baby sitting service.

Tifa shrugged unwilling to admit that one of the Turks whom she'd mentioned happened to have their own crush upon her. Although the selective team were subtle in their work, the aforementioned pair were about as subtle as the sector seven plate dropping back in their glory days.

Luckily it wasn't the crimson haired braggart that showed such devoted interest in Tifa, but rather his large stoic partner. Clearly that was how she'd managed to talk the pair into looking after a pair of children. He was still undecided about how he felt about the issue, but since there was nothing he could do about it in such an insubstantial ghostly form he resolved to let it go and focus on the goings on around him.

Vincent pulled Cloud's corpse from Tifa's arms and held it aloft for a moment. Some time during Cloud's internal musings they'd decided to take the body back to the Seventh Heaven and hold a small goodbye ceremony there before taking the body to bury at the cliff where the buster sword had once stood on the border of town.

There was no way they could have left their friends body to lie in the abandoned church as the seedier dregs of their post apocalyptic society remained in the ruins of Midgar. There was always the chance that someone who didn't regard Cloud with the same sense of awed wonder as many of the survivors might come across the corpse and desecrate it.

With that in mind Vincent laid the body into the flat bed of the blue truck that they'd once broken out of the Shinra building. Tifa hopped into the vehicle and drove it with practised ease through the ruins of Midgar back to Edge. Vincent followed carefully on the roaring Fenrir.

The bike growled and snarled like the wolf it was named after, its rumbling engine seemingly louder than normal. It was almost as if it sensed that its owner was deceased, and in its own way was morning for its fallen master. As it stood the last of the Mako enhanced men that had remained in the world were gone. There was no one left other than Vincent himself that stood any chance of handling the fierce machine.

It was the end of an era. The last SOLDIER was no more, and the only evidence that they even existed was this bike and the destruction that had followed in the programmes wake.

~ 0 ~

Drawn by something, whether it was the pull of his physical body or something else Cloud found himself sitting in the Seventh Heaven on the chair opposite his body.

When Tifa and Vincent had left the church with his body Cloud had found himself following after them, forgetting for a moment that he was unable to leave the church for some reason. A forgetful moment that mattered little as he found himself exiting the building and climbing onto the back of the truck next to his body.

And now here he was, sitting in a room he'd never though to see again surrounded by a small gathering of people. The bar had been shut when they'd arrived, but Reno had been sitting at the main counter on a stool, knocking back a beer.

Several bottles surrounded the red haired and for a moment he'd looked guilty, but when his gaze had alit upon the blonde haired warrior's prone form then he'd moved forward and opened the door to the stairs so that the other two could head upstairs.

Silence had reigned then, and mostly it still did now several minutes later. For Reno, based off the fact that nothing appeared to be filling the Turks mouth his silence was probably a record. Or at least it was until he finally found the will to talk.

"What the hell, yo? What happened to blondie?" Reno asked, although it was clear to anyone with eyes what had happened.

"Clearly I'm dead Reno," Cloud replied patronisingly even though he knew the Turk couldn't hear him.

Already he'd been carefully cleaned by Vincent, a fact he was both grateful to the gunman for, and incredibly embarrassed about. There was no way they'd be able to lay a wet and dripping corpse upon a perfectly good bed. Not only would it have stained but it would have been completely distasteful.

When his body had been washed and dried his body had been clothed in the only other clothes he'd had laying around that hadn't been considered too ripped and dirty for his death bed. A fact he'd laughed at. He was dead, what did it matter how he looked. But still, Tifa had been adamant, and so he'd been dressed in a long sleeved black shirt and jeans.

Looking at his body laying silently on the bed, with the shirt buttoned all the way up, and his wounds covered it was easy to believe he was asleep and that this was all a dream of some kind. Already he was regretting his actions, and he'd only encountered three of his comrades. Two if you didn't count Reno. And in only a moment Rude would bring Marlene and Denzel into the room to say their goodbyes.

He wanted so desperately in that moment to leave, but there was nothing he could do, nowhere he could go. Already he'd tried, and much like his former constraints on the church he couldn't leave the Seventh Heaven. He longed to jump on Fenrir and ride the motorcycle all the way to the sea past the chocobo farm, much like he had when he'd wanted to escape in life. Only now, thanks to his stupidity he was more stuck than ever.

It sucked.

And then Rude entered the room, Marlene and Denzel in tow. The moment his eyes caught sight of the two children he'd left behind his heart shattered. Marlene still had Barret and Tifa, but Denzel, poor Denzel; he had only Tifa left, the most recent of his father figures abandoning him again.

A searing shame and despair rushed through his body as he regarded the boy. Denzel's blue eyes were wide and wavering, filled almost past the brim with tears that he didn't seem to be able to hold back. A shuddering breath was drawn in, and the dam burst. Tears fell in streams and the boy moved forward to lay a soft kiss on Cloud's corpse before taking off.

Before he was certain what was going on Cloud found himself standing in the doorway watching the boy run, but unable to follow as he ran into the city. Sighing the blonde ghost returned to his bedside, sitting again and closing his eyes to the commotion.

~ 0 ~

When Cloud awoke several hours later, it was again to a conversation between Tifa and Vincent. It seemed that Vincent had shared the secret of the blonde's depression with the wine eyed martial artist. An idea that was vehemently denied until the bedside draw was opened, and his book of keepsakes was withdrawn.

For a moment a flush of anger overtook Cloud's mind until he sighed and gave up on it. There was no point in being mad over a friend revealing the secret of a dead man. There was no real harm it could do to him now any way. So when the book was opened, and leafed through by the pair he gave it no other thought than to lean over the book and look at his treasures with them.

When they found the correct page the leafing stopped, and the sable gunman withdrew the small docket inside handing it to Tifa gingerly. Cloud winced as he watched the reactions flit across his friends face.

As she moved through shock, denial and finally a state of depression Cloud reached out a ghostly hand to lay it uselessly on Tifa's shoulder. There was no way she could feel the comfort he was trying to give, but it was the thought that counted, right?

By now he knew the words on the piece of paper by heart; '20mg of Fluoxetine to be taken thrice daily, in increments of three for the treatment of depression and anxiety. Further evaluation recommended to provide more accurate treatment.'

Often he'd wondered staring at the paper how different things might have been had he taken the advice. The big question was would he be alive now? But who knew.

"What does this mean, was he – Did he take the pills?" Tifa asked, her voice confused.

"No, he didn't," Vincent replied shaking his head and sending a stream of midnight hair tumbling over his eyes, "after everything Hojo did he wasn't able to take any medication."

"So, all this time he's been suffering because he wouldn't get help?" Tifa asked her voice cracking half way through her question, "That's just stupid, we would have helped him. Any of us would have done anything we could in order to help him. He didn't have to handle everything alone. Why does he always leave us behind? We were supposed to be a family, we were supposed to support each other and now he's gone."

Tears fell from wine coloured eyes as Tifa slumped into Vincent, the gunman cradling the irate and saddened woman carefully. His stiff posture spoke volumes to Cloud, who in spite of the guilty depression running through his veins couldn't help but snort, his lips pulling up in amusement.

"I'm sorry," Cloud whispered settling down on the ground, his knees pulled up to his forehead as he sought emotional shelter.

~ 0 ~

Within four and a half days of Cloud's death every one of his friends had come to stay in Edge, bidding the corpse of their fallen friend a last goodbye. With every greeting he felt worse and worse. His body, although technically nothing but a spectral figure was drooping with weariness; clearly an emotion exhaustion rather than physical.

The weight of every visit and the words of every goodbye brought an ache to Cloud's chest. Almost as if he needed to cry, but was unable to due to the lack of tear ducts and fluids in his form.

In no time at all the day came that they buried Cloud's body on the cliffs. Again the blonde's spectral body was drawn after his physical body, like a magnet that manages to both repel and draw at the same time. He had no wish to see his old body dropped into a hole in the ground, covered with dirt and left to rot.

It mattered little that the body was no longer inhabited by his spirit, the fact remained that the idea of watching such a thing was horrifying. Almost as if by some coincidence of fate he might be forced back into the empty corpse only to find the body buried deep in the bowls of the earth.

Trapped under layers of dirt, with compact layers rustling over him and filling his mouth and nose until he died. Cloud shuddered as he watched the small ceremony. No, the last thing that anyone wanted was to wake up only to find themselves buried alive. That was after all the reason they used to include a bell with coffins in the old days.

Realistically Cloud had never thought he'd see any of this. He'd assumed that once he was dead his spirit would become engulfed by the lifestream; swept along and caught up in the _onemany_ that was the life force of the planet. He'd imagined that the moment his spirit was gone that his body would dissolve in a haze of green.

Most Mako enhanced people disappeared that way. It was after all a mark of someone close to the planet, infected with the lifestream itself that they dissolved in such a way. It was like the planet needed to claim every last inch of the unnatural individual in order to restore order. It had been that way with Zack and the remnants. It stood to reason that he would have been the same.

It was only as the final words were spoken over his grave, the farewell tears shed, that Cloud had the presence of mind to fully contemplate the fact. From the time he woke up in the church to the moment the dirt finally covered the last of his body the blonde warrior had been in a kind of denial induced daze.

When First Tsurugi was stabbed into the ground over Cloud's grave a wash of warmth travelled over the spectral entity that had been forced to watch his own funeral. A final goodbye passed his lips and Cloud Strife ascended into the lifestream, finally gaining his place in the afterlife.

Or so he thought.

~ 0 ~

"Aerith!" Cloud greeted, his lips curving up in a true smile. A smile that was quickly diminished as Zack appeared at her shoulder, a solemn look on both of their faces. Confused Cloud looked between them both, his face screwed up in bewilderment.

The white light of the afterlife surrounded the cluster of deceased warriors. The ground underneath their feet was that of Aerith's garden. A garden that in real life and time lay under a small pond inside the church. A place now tainted by the blood of a desperate mad man.

"We're sorry Spikey," Zack whispered quietly, his eyes downcast. His posture was stiff and formal, not relaxed and welcoming as it always had been in the past. As Cloud had expected it to be now. In the time he needed the comfort the most.

Cloud didn't understand; why were they being so different from the way they usually were. He hadn't seen the pair since he'd spoken with them last after the battle with the remnant turned Sephiroth. Even then, when they'd done nothing but reject him, tell him he had no place amongst them they'd been welcoming and cheerful. And now, now they seemed so morose about something.

"About what?" Cloud inquired softly.

"About everything, we never meant for this to happen Cloud. We thought you'd be happier once we'd forgiven you. There was nothing to forgive, and now…" Zack trailed off anxiously

"And now I'm dead," Cloud replied flatly.

"Well yes, but there's so much more. I'm sorry if we hurt you before Cloud, but what we said then is just as true now. There's no place for you here. You don't belong with us in the lifestream. The planet needs you; you're its Golden Weapon, a defence against anything that seeks to make the planet suffer." Aerith replied her voice apologetic as she spoke, her arms twitching as if with the need to comfort the stricken looking blonde in front of her.

Anger and sadness swept over Cloud again, "What do you mean I don't have a place here. I fought so hard, and for so long. Where am I supposed to go? What am I supposed to do? I'm already dead!"

"That's just it Cloud. The planet, the lifestream, it wants to send you back to the start. We know you don't want to roam the world forever as a spirit, you'll be forced to watch calamity after calamity to befall the planet with no chance to save it." Zack answered his voice soft.

"You'll become bitter and angry. We don't want that for you. We love you. But you can't stay here with us either; the lifestream won't accept you Cloud, it needs you to do more good in the world. There are still so many threats to the planet out there that have yet to surface. The world needs you Cloud." Aerith continued in her usual calm tone. A tone which pissed Cloud off more than ever right then.

"So what they want me to keep fighting for them? How, and why should I?" Cloud demanded angrily, his head whipping back and forth in denial.

Tears of frustration again filled his eyes, but here, finally they managed to spill over. Sobs filled the air as he sunk to his knees in the flower bed. He couldn't understand. How could they expect him just to get up and keep soldiering on.

Hadn't they already seen the effects of his previous battles upon his psyche. Was he or was he not dead thanks to the pressure. Wasn't it clear that there was just no way he could cope with the mess he was in, and what did they mean when they said 'send him back to the start'. Where the start, and what was was he supposed to do when he got there.

"I don't understand, this isn't fair," Cloud sobbed.

Zack sunk to his knees next to the blonde, embracing the trembling figure he'd watched over for so long. He'd given his life to save Cloud's and he'd do it all over again if that meant the blonde wouldn't have to have suffered everything he'd gone through. Everything he would go through if they managed to convince their friend that the plan the planet had cooked up (along with their help of course) would work.

"No Cloud it isn't, and for that we're sorry, but it's the only real choice here," Zack replied ruffling the blonde spikes on Cloud's head gently.

"I don't understand; what choice, what do you mean 'back to the start'. You're confusing me, can't you just speak straight?" Cloud asked clutching at Zack's shirt with desperate fingers.

It was too soon to let his long lost friend go. Whatever plan they'd cooked up he wanted no part of it but it didn't seem like the planet was going to give him any other choice than to follow through with its wishes.

"For lack of better description Cloud; Time travel. And to answer your question about what back to the start means exactly…" Zack trailed off hesitantly, looking to Aerith for support.

"From the moment of your birth Cloud; your spirit needs time to pull itself together. We'll send you right back to beginning of **your **life so that you have enough time to prepare for the road ahead. It will be hard, but with all the things you know now you'll be more than okay," Aerith said her words spoken softly in an almost pleading tone.

"You mean me, as I am right now, will be forced into the body of a baby? I'll have the knowledge of my adult self and be forced to cry for food, and shit my pants when I need the bathroom?" Cloud inquired, his eyes wide and horrified.

"No, we wouldn't do that to you. Much like any developing child we'll allow your mind to develop slowly from birth until by the age of five, you'll have all of your memories and personality back. It will be as gradual and natural as we can manage, okay?" Aerith replied her lips quirked into an amused smile.

The question Cloud had posed was a fair one. It would have been unfair of the planet to trap an adult mind inside the body of a baby who couldn't even sit up on his own, let alone ask for what he needed. The clear solution was to take away most of Cloud's awareness until he was able to aptly use it.

They couldn't have simply given the attributes back all in one flush turn; that would have been the biggest mistake they could make. Poor new Cloud in the past would have thought he was going crazy remembering all these things he shouldn't have remembered. No, the only answer was to make it a gradual infusion process much like making a cup of tea.

The matter of figuring out what age it would be best to return all of Cloud's memories and personality back was a little more difficult to work out. If they'd started imbuing him with everything he needed from too early an age, then the blonde warrior would become frustrated and depressed with himself. There was no way they were willing to risk a chance at another suicide attempt.

If they started giving everything back at too late an age then the personality and thoughts might become rejected, or the return of the instability in the current Cloud's mind would drive the new Cloud into insanity himself. It was a delicate process, and therefore they'd decided to start the biggest transfer at the age of two, leaving three years for the large scale memory and personality dump to complete, just in time for the child to start school.

By the time Cloud had a chance to start doubting the process he would already be fully imbued. It was the perfect solution.

"And if I say yes? What happens then?" Cloud asked his eyes wide as he thought the proposition through.

Already the blonde soldier knew what he was going to chose to do; there was no question in his mind that he would accept. He'd already worked out the point in this exercise, he was going to return to the past and stop everything that had already happened from happening again.

True, Cloud would be too late to save Lucrecia and Vincent; Hojo would have already started the experiments and laid the ex-Turk to rest in his coffin of solitude by the time he was born. Lucrecia would already have resigned herself to a state of trance-like death in the crystal caves rather than face reality.

Sephiroth, the son of the calamity would have already fallen into the hands of the Shinra science department. Professors Gast and Hojo would have started their terrible experiments, and by the time Cloud was ready and able to do anything about it the SOLDIER prodigy would have taken Wutai by storm and become the head of SOLDIER.

Even Reeve Tuesti would have already inadvertently given Shinra the means to create Mako energy as a viable power source by the time he could intervene. The lifestream having long since been forcibly drawn from the planet for the uncaring residents benefit.

All valid points of the uselessness of his presence in stopping the things Shinra was going to cause, but there was also more than that at stake. If for nothing else in the world, Cloud was willing to go back for Zack.

He loved the lavender eyed SOLDIER more than anything in the world. Zack was like the big brother Cloud had never had. They'd never been given enough time together, and in Cloud's opinion Zack had never been given enough time in the first place.

If there was anyone that he would try his damndest to save it was Zack Fair, SOLDIER extraordinaire. A snort spilt from Cloud's lips as he remembered the cocky man announcing his presence to Cloud once day using that exact phrase. He'd laughed so hard he'd felt the pain in his muscles from the bought of hysteria for weeks afterward.

That thought sealed Cloud's fate, "Whatever happens, it doesn't matter; I love you Zack," Cloud stated finally, voicing his decision for the other two, "Send me back."

"See you again soon Spikey, don't forget about me again once you remember, okay?" Zack replied letting the blonde go and stepping back.

Aerith stepped forward and enveloped Cloud in a gentle hug. She'd wanted to provide the comfort Cloud had needed herself, but the plots of both herself and the planet had cast her as the bad guy in this light. There was no changing that now, but there was one thing she could do.

"I'm sorry Cloud, forgive me?" Aerith asked softly in the blonde's ear.

"Forgive what? There's nothing to forgive," Cloud answered, laying a chaste kiss on Aerith's cheek.

"Goodbye Cloud," Zack and Aerith chorused as the both took a step back and into the light.

Their farewell was the last thing Cloud heard as the ground fell out from underneath him. He was cast into an eternity of white light and warmth, and as he fell he smiled. Zack was right, in no time at all they would meet, and this time Zack would be a real boy.

Laughing Cloud fell into oblivion.

"_Here he comes Ms Strife; your beautiful baby boy is on his way into the world." Hollered an excited voice, "Now push!"_

_The sound of crying filled the air, as a tiny baby was placed into the arms of Rayne Strife. Blue eyes seemed to glow out of a squat infantile face as they angrily regarded their mother. A mother who sighed and lay back, a shaking hand reaching up to brush back sweat slicked blonde strands atop her head._

"_She's right sweetheart, you are my beautiful baby boy. My Cloud." Rayne Strife whispered fondly._

* * *

Okay, and that's the end of another chapter of Rewind. I will admit that I have had a very long day, and as such a mistake or two may have slipped through somewhere. Feel free to point it out, I won't bite, I promise. Also the next chapter will be a bit of a longer wait than this one, as I will be going away for a convention for a little over a week with no internet. It's possible the next update may take between two and three weeks. There's nothing I can do about that, sorry, if I could I would churn out another chapter to tide you over, but I still have a costume to finish. PS, anyone who can guess what Cosplay I'm working on before I go away next Tuesday will get a virtual flying sandwich and the rights to Square Enix! Okay maybe not, but you will get a smile and clap from me! Until then, see ya!


	3. No Giving Up, All That I'm Living For

Hey guys, sorry it took me so long to update. My life got crazy a few weeks ago; I went to Armageddon (props to those who realized that I was in fact doing a Lifestream Cosplay), I started a training course during the day while I do high school during the night by mail, I helped a friend move house, I dealt with an overcame another bad bout of writers block and depression, and I endured several nerve wracking meeting with my unemployment agency to discuss how much they'd pay me for my rent while I trained. About a month after the previous chapter, a little bit more stressed and slightly worse for wear I bring you Rewind Chapter 2.

I would like to thank everyone who reviewed, favourited, and alerted this story. If I never replied to your review it means I hate you...no just kidding, it means I suck and I can't remember I haven't done it. I try to reply to all review personally, but my memory is honestly so bad I recently accidently lit a chicken on fire in the microwave. Curious, ask me how! Please don't take it personally. It means a lot to me and helped me get past my issues this month and get this chapter out. Thanks guys. I hope you enjoy.

**Word Count**; 7,000 words (again, sorry I keep meaning to make them longer but it just gets away from me.)

**Warnings**; Nothing much, there might be some bad language somewhere, I completely blame imaginary Barret (Same on you for speaking so harshly around these people! You might teach them bad things they probably already know!)

**Disclaimer**; I don't even own the computer I use to write this story I'm sorry to say, but if Square Enix would like to send me the rights in the mail to keep me from getting sued for copy right infringement then that might just be okay too.

* * *

Rewind

Chapter 2

No Giving Up, All That I'm Living For.

The first several years of Cloud Strife's life were mostly uneventful to say the least. Well, in comparison to what his previous life had been at rate. After all there were no portents of the apocalypse. No earth shattering battles waged. No incurable diseases wiping out large sectors of the population. It was normal and perfect. If he'd developed a little faster than other children then his mother saw no other path of logic than to proudly boast of the latest event.

Often times she could be found 'round at a friends place, sipping a hot cup and tea and chatting idly with a neighbor about her sons latest feat. Grinning ear to ear she'd settle the little china tea cup onto the table, settle into her chair more comfortably and announce;

"You'll never guess what Cloud did the other day, I know he's only one and a half, but I swear he tottered clear across the room and said in the cutest little voice; mommy I want juice," Rayne would gush as he son would look proudly up at her, almost as if he understood the whole conversation. Not that she doubted in any way that he didn't understand her; he had just the most uncanny abilities to understand what was going on around him in a way that not even most adults had quite managed.

No mother could have been as proud of her child as Rayne Strife was of her son. She loved him will all her hear, he was the highlight of her existence now that Cloud's father was gone. He'd lived with his wife right up until some time before the birth of his son, leaving the house mysteriously late one night and never returning.

At first Rayne had been Desolate, lost without her usually so reliable and faithful husband, but after a period of weeks morning the missing man she'd bounced right back to her unshakably sunny disposition. She had a child to think abut after all, there'd be no sense in moaning and whining when there was nothing she could do or change, and a baby on the way who be solely dependant on her.

At first the villagers had spoken in hushed whispers; gossiping with the tenacity that came from living in such a small uninteresting village. Rumor after rumor had cropped up about the whereabouts of Rayne's missing husband. The populace was scandalized, after all it had seemed as though the man had run away, albeit without his wallet or shoes. When the idea was broached hesitantly to Mrs Strife she'd only laughed and said, "I always said that man would lose his own shoes without me, I guess now he knows I'm right.

Eventually the news had died down about the "Runaway Husband, as he'd been ominously dubbed, and by the time Cloud was born the disappearance had fallen into town history. Gossip ended, and no trace of talk would reach the boy's ears until he was past school age, an age at which he was fully cognizant of the event at any rate.

~ 0 ~

_Cloud Strife – 4 years old._

There was so much going on his head, like too much information crammed into a small space. Intellectually even though he knew by rights he was only four years old he could clearly remember a time when he wasn't so young. In fact he could remember the age of twenty two far more clearly than the age of four.

It was like looking at something through a stained glass window. The thoughts and memories became more refracted and blurred the further back he looked. Except for a few years smack dab in the middle where things were so muddled he could barely tell what age the blur was from. Perhaps it was from many years, there was no way to know yet. Perhaps when he woke up a week from now he would remember what had happened. What would happen, what his other self was all about?

A deep sigh passed his lips and his golden haloed head drooped towards the knees tucked against his chest. He was so confused and yet at the time in an odd way so comfortable with the situation. It didn't make sense and there was no way to explain it to anyone so they would understand. Hell, he barely understood it himself and more often than not was convinced that he was going crazy. He was sure if he mentioned his thoughts and ideas to anyone else they'd simply corroborate the theory for him, so instead of seeking help he kept his brooding silence. Albeit with more than a few sighs mixed in for good measure.

The weighted exhale drew Rayne's attention from her activities in the kitchen. Turning from the freshly baked bread cooling on the bench she placed her hands on her hips and cocked her head to the side. She'd always been concerned about her poor emotional prodigy of a son, but in last year her baby had become so much more than that. Emotions had become deeper than that of a child, and the nights he'd awoken her with screams issuing in his hoarse throat from one nightmare or another were haunting and upsetting.

"What's wrong sweetheart, you sound a little down?" Rayne asked speaking to her child as if he were the man he acted and not the child he seemed.

"It's nothing Mom, just one of those days," Cloud replied, tilting his head down more, resting his forehead on his knees.

Nodding Rayne swept across the room and drew her son tenderly into a soft embrace. A smile curved her lips as Cloud's small figure attempted to burrow into her own, nuzzling his soft golden spikes into the junction of her arm and shoulder. Even when he was depressed he was the sweetest boy in the world, and she knew that she was lucky to have an affectionate child like Cloud.

Most children grew out of the stage of wanting to hug their mother, and openly show their love and affection for others. Cloud was already so grown up at the near infantile age of four that she was almost certain that he may never grow out of it. Of course Cloud might always surprise her in the way that he'd been doing since his birth. Predicting her little rain cloud was like predicting the duration of a tempest; difficult and almost always completely contrary.

"Have you ever thought maybe you should get help baby? You have these days a lot, maybe if you talked to someone…" Rayne asked her voice filled with tender concern.

Cloud knew his mother didn't want him to suffer but he already knew what he wanted to do with his life. He was determined to become a SOLDIER. It may have seemed a little early for him to be making such life dictating decisions, but the other Cloud had so desperately wanted to be a SOLDIER that there was no way as the current Cloud he couldn't try to follow that dream. It didn't matter that the SOLDIER program had only been around for a few years now, and that it wasn't as actively known or recruiting as it had closer to the time of the Wutai War.

It was with that goal in his mind that Cloud found himself shaking his head, "No Mom, I can't do that. I know you don't understand right now, and all going well you never will completely understand, but for so many reasons I can't. I'll be fine, really I will. Please don't worry about me."

Rayne was thrown for a loop very quickly when her baby sounded so very grown up, and for a moment she saw the shadow of what her boy would become. Smiling with bewildered emotion she squeezed her son tight and then drew him back to look him in the eyes.

"Of course you will, I trust you Cloud. I know you're going to grow up to be a beautiful young man, and I want you to know I'll love you no matter what." Rayne replied, searching her son's eyes for any trace of doubt.

"I know Mom, I love you too."

~ 0 ~

_Cloud Strife – 5 years old_

A small book of problems lay open on the wooden kitchen table, the answers perfectly completed in small neat handwriting. Cloud may have been only five, his academic studies only recently taking place in the small house with his mothers simple lessons, but with the return of his entire memory there was no need for him to really learn anything anyway.

None of the supposedly hard problems were all that hard anyway. He knew for a fact that his mother was already giving him work that others in the village might not have face for at least three more years if they were lucky. The fact remained that with his damn near photographic memory at times, he didn't really need to learn any of the stuff he was meant to.

It had become a daily occurrence between Cloud and his mother since the day he'd turned five, that Rayne would set Cloud a book of problems a day which he would dutifully answer before bustling around the house in an attempt to help his mother. Not that the blonde woman needed the help, she'd looked after the pair of them for long enough that Cloud had no doubt in his mothers ability.

It was a sense of duty and longing that kept him lending a hand. But today; today was completely different. His mother had informed him in no uncertain terms that she would brook no argument in the fact that the five year old boy was to go into town and meet with the other children in town.

Until this point in time he'd ignored their existence entirely. After all he was miles ahead of them in everything but physical body, and really that was only because his real form was buried somewhere in the future under half a cliff face. He'd seen no point when he'd first seen them playing about, at the age of three, in attempting join in with their frivolity and immaturity.

Even at such a young age his past self had made a huge impact on the person he was now. He'd seen the boys around town often since then, and every time they'd looked at him with disdain for daring to believe that he was in some way better than them.

It was just better for all of them that he ignore their existence, after all he had nothing to do with them, and they had nothing of relevance to add to his life. And so it was that in blatant disregard to the instructions his mother had left him with before she'd rushed off to meet a friend on the other side of town to do some seamstress work Cloud wandered out of town and up the trail to the Nibel Mountains.

The air was chilly and whipping around his young body, but the freedom of taking a walk such as this, the excitement of threatening danger and the power of will kept the blonde child moving onwards, further and further into the mountains. It wasn't like he was wearing clothes that weren't fit for such a walk at any rate, it was just that the exposed area's of his skin were taking a rather harsh whipping that such tender flesh wasn't quite prepared for. His body had yet to be trained to handle such strenuous conditions, but he was determined to teach it, no matter how hard it would be.

Clambering awkwardly through the snow in search of a place he could freely train, Cloud realized too late that perhaps he ought to have brought some form of weapon with him. The feral snarl of Nibel wolves cut through his thoughts as he strayed too close to a mother wolf and her pups. Although he was hardly a danger to the animal, small as he was, the fact he'd come near the wolf when she'd been tending her babies had angered the creature.

He didn't want to have to hurt the wolf, after all she was just protecting her young as any mother was wont to do. However the choice was quickly taken out of his hands when she flung her lean body at him, a blur of grey as she launched through the air in a keen display of honed muscle. Growling in frustration Cloud reached out his arms, attempting to protect the vital areas of his body with his heavily padded limbs rather than the tender flesh of his vital areas.

Much as he'd expected the mother struck his arm, biting down harshly, and proceeding to worry at the wound she was making. Resignedly Cloud took a hold of the scruff of the wolf's neck and tugged. It was a tug meant only to catch the animal's attention; but when his arm drew back it drew the wolf along with it. The sound of shredding filled the air, and Cloud watched in horror as his jacket and part of his arm was drawn along with the animal. A scream of pain flew from his lips a moment later when the wound finally registered in his mind, and he drew his injured arm back into his chest, cradling the shredded flesh.

"You stupid animal!" Cloud yelled angrily, his mind barely processing past the fact that he was hurt and angry.

The wolf growled and hunched down again, preparing to fling herself at the vulnerable child. Before she had the chance to make her move, a golden blur flew at her and she was on the offensive. The lupine had the advantage of sharp teeth, powerful muscles and a larger figure; but Cloud had something else on his side. Something that trumped everything else. He had the pure adrenaline and rage that came with excitement, anger, and a major wound.

Battle waged and blurred across the snow bathed terrain; the mother wolf lashing out with swift passes of teeth and paws, and Cloud lunging and blocking with fluid muscles. His movements were slightly jerky and uneven compared to those of the battle hardened warrior he once was, but that was only to be expected since the ingrained muscle memory was gone, leaving only his mind to supply the techniques he was so familiar with.

Finally tired and bored with the previously exhilarating fight Cloud ended the engagement with one swift movement. Dancing forward he threw a swift strike across his opponents head, breaking the wolf's neck. It was only as he took in the full picture that he was able to realize the scope of things, the animal was bleeding from so many places and had probably been near death in the first place.

The whining of pups floated to Clouds ear, and feeling guilty he did the only thing he could rightly do; he removed his jacket and bundled the babies into the soft material. There were only two pups that he could find, and when he'd scooped them to his chest he started his trek down the hill.

~ 0 ~

There was no way in **hell** that his mother would allow him to keep two wolf cubs in their house as pets. That idea was quickly ruled out of his head as useless. An evil smirk took over his face though as he faced another thought. He knew exactly where he was going to keep the children of the wolf he'd killed with his bare hands. After all, what better place was there than the semi-abandoned Shinra Mansion.

The mountains quickly disappeared from view, and Cloud found himself in a nightmare from his past. It looked much the same as it always had; as it always would in the future until Sephiroth destroyed the town. Only now he would make it something better, he'd let the cubs live here in the mansion, and he'd claim it for himself. He'd train and work here, after all, he couldn't very well go all the way into the Nibel Mountains every time he wanted to train. It would be too time consuming, and all the time he could have used actually working out would be used up in actually getting there. And at the same time he couldn't just walk into town and start training there either; it wasn't a good idea to let anyone know what he was up to yet, after all SOLDIER hadn't even been heard of here yet.

The Wutai War wouldn't even start for another year at least. Mentally he worked out the date at which everything would happen and nodded to himself as he walked the stairs up to the upper stories. He would be ready for everything by the time he made it back to Shinra. He would be fully prepared this time, after all he had to be. There was no way he would let history follow through in the same manner it had before. He'd rather die all over again than be forced to live his worst nightmares in another fell swoop.

Carefully juggling the wolf cubs Cloud opened the door to the small bedroom to left of the upper wing. A layer of dust coated every surface in the room, and he knew there was no way he could leave his new pets in such an unhealthy environment. He was to be their new mother now, so to speak, since he'd killed their original mother. And if he wouldn't have allowed Denzel and Marlene to play here, then there was no way he could allow the cubs to play here in the filth.

Opening the door to the small dresser hiding in the corner of the room, Cloud placed the cubs gently inside the armoire and left the room. He needed to take care of a few things before he could just abandon them there. His feet took him to the small kitchen downstairs. After all that would be the best place to find cleaning products, and after that he'd have to check his wounds and head down to the lab and find the supplies that were bound to still be idly lying about. Hojo never was one to see anything beyond his microscope.

Gathering up the few cleaning supplies that were hidden under the dingy sink the blonde made his way back upstairs and surveyed the room with distaste. He'd never been fond of mess; in fact he was damn near obsessive-compulsive about keeping things clean. Sighing he settled down to work. First thing to happen was stripping the linen off the bed; it was dusty and moth eaten now at any rate. Ripping the offending garments off bed he blinked when something shining and silver flew swiftly at his head, hitting sharply across his forehead.

Throwing the dirty bed covers out the door and into the hallway Cloud stooped to inspect the glittering object lying on the floor. His face screwed up in confusion as he mumbled a soft 'how did this get here?' and inspected the silver bangle curiously. It was of good make and quality, and yet for some reason it was laying abandoned beneath ratty old coverlets. Shrugging Cloud put the bracelet on anyway since it was clear the original owner was long gone.

A shiver passed up his spine as he felt the bangle fortifying his small body. A good shiver, like when you take the first step into a warm room after being out in the rain all day. A smile split his lips as he knelt down to start scrubbing the floor, a bucket of foaming water at his side. Pushing his tattered sleeves up the blonde went to start cleaning the floor when he finally noticed the state of his arms.

Blue eyes widened as he realized that there was no trace of the wounds he'd received less than an hour before. The only proof that the attack had happened was the state of his shirt, a pair of wolf cubs curled asleep on his jacket, and a slowly decaying corpse laying somewhere in the Nibel Mountains. Getting to his feet Cloud crossed the room to find a letter opener he'd seen laying atop a dresser.

Carefully he dipped the letter opener into the bucket of warm water, cleaning it with his fingers before drawing the blunt knife out. Setting his chin in preparation Cloud forced the blunt blade down and into his skin. A shining splatter of red poured free to coat the already dirty floor, and Cloud did nothing but watch the blood fall. For a few moments it seemed as if nothing would happen, as if he would bleed to death from another self inflicted wound on the floor of the Shinra Mansion.

And then he sighed in relief.

Faster than his body had even been able to heal before death the wound knitted itself back together before wide blue eyes. Eyes that were set aglow by the activation of the Mako inside his system. He'd had his suspicions before, the mere fact that more than once he'd thought he'd seen his eyes glowing back at him in the few reflective surfaces he encountered being more than a more hint towards the fact. He simply hadn't been prepared for the reality to really hit home.

Huddling his body into a ball, knees pressed to his chest and head pressed to his knees, he thought. Obviously there'd been no outside influence on his body this time to cause the Mako to enter his system. He would have remembered that at the very least. And he'd changed body completely since his last Mako infusions. There was no way that the previous experimentation on a form he'd long left behind had found any way to linger in his system. After all he'd been bathed in several rounds of searing pure life stream since then.

Cloud's eyes widened and he whispered his thought aloud, "The lifestream…"

He'd spent so much time in the lifestream, at the very least in just spirit, and the same force had been soaked into him like paper absorbing water. Really now that he was thinking clearly on the subject it was clear that the prospect of having so much Mako in his system was damn near inevitable. It was just a relief that no one else had noticed the chemical swirling through his body.

Getting to his feet Cloud crossed to the mirror hung on the wall above a small wooden desk. He wasn't very tall, in fact there was no way that at the age of five he would be tall enough to see his reflection in such a high mirror in the first place. Lucky it was not his intention to wander up the mirror and survey his own face in the mirror.

A small hand reached for the bottom of the gilded glass, and with little effort behind the push, the petit blonde pushed the frame off the wall altogether and into his waiting arms. Propping the glass up against the side of the chair at the desk Cloud crawled backwards and took in the reflected image with detached emotionless thought.

At first glance there was nothing but what one would expect a child to see when he gazed into the glass. His body was small and in comparison to what he would have liked to be at this point, beyond reason, slightly incensing since he needed to be stronger, to grow faster. His face was perched atop a slim neck and shoulders, angular and almost feline. An echo of the way his future self would look when he passed that infuriating age of young adolescence and developed the body he would have for the rest of his life.

Scrunching up his face in concentration Cloud searched deeper into the body of a child and finally found the signs that he was looking for. While his eyes were still the bright blue he was used to that in and of itself was the problem. They were the same eyes that he was used to. He shouldn't have had the bright blue eyes, with a ring of yellow and green surrounding the pupil. Those were the eyes he was given by a scientist driven mad by his own theories.

The eyes he should have had were so far into his original past that they were just blue blurs. As if he was seeing them through a stain glass window that at once fragmented into beautiful colour and sapped of that colour at the same time. It was intriguing and infuriating. In fact before he really knew what was going on past the initial concept Cloud's anger found a physical outlet through which to escape.

The resounding echo of shattering glass filled the room and the blonde's head as he watched the tiny pieces of glass explode and whiz around the room like they were gripped by the hand of a tornado. Shards caught and struck smooth unscarred skin and ripped the tender flesh open while the blonde stood, heedless of the harm he was causing himself.

It was only as scarlet pooled on the floor, dripping from Cloud's shredded fist that he realized what had happened. His body was numb and feeling free until the moment his mind caught up with the fact that he was injured. Suddenly every inch of his skin was humming with icy pain. The remains of the mirror were in some places still caught inside his skin, and with a slight feeling of disgust he realized that if he didn't hurry up and catch every single shard of the broken glass he'd be slicing the wounds open again just to pull the glass out of his abused skin.

Sometimes having Mako could be more of a pain than a help. When broken bones set too fast and weren't set right he'd often had to re-break the bones just to set them the right way. It had been a painful process, made only the worse by the fact that none of his family had the readily available strength both physically and mentally to break his bones for him. More often than not those kinds of wounds were fixed, broken and fixed all over again entirely on the merit of his own actions.

Although they'd often been unable to help him with these sorts of things Cloud couldn't help but wish that his family were sitting with him in this situation once more. A bitter laugh passed his lips as he realized that the only reason they weren't here was because he'd pushed them away in his typical self-destructive manner. After all no one had forced his wrists onto the keen edge of the First Tsurugi. That had been entirely his own doing and his own screw up.

Closing his eyes for a moment Cloud felt out the first few shards of glass in his wounds as he imagined the conversation he'd be having with his family about now.

"_Well Cloud, that's what you get for not coming to us. We're your family; we're supposed to help each other. That's what we're here for alright? There was no need to put your fist through that mirror. We all know that you hate your chocobo head hair, but really taking it out on the mirror is a bit much isn't it?" Tifa would joke, trying to inject both a serious and humorous tone into their chat._

The blonde's lips quirked a bit before he hissed as he cut his fingers again on a particularly sharp and stubborn sliver of glass, "You always knew how to cheer me up Tifa," Cloud replied in a gentle whisper.

"_Cloud, what you pulling this punk ass shit for? How you gonna take care of your family when you can't take care of 'yo self?" Barret would demand in his trademark gruff and uncaring tone. He pretended that nothing got him sad or worked up, but he'd seen on the day of his funeral how the gruff man had shed a few tears of his own in farewell._

Barret always knew how to lay the guilt on thick enough that whether he felt like he could manage it or not he found himself crawling to his feet and moving forward. Disappointing him was like disappointing your favorite uncle; it always felt worse knowing he'd disappointed Barret and the rest of his family than knowing he'd disappointed himself.

Denzel would have given his sad kicked puppy look, so much like the one that his friend Zack would have given that it physically hurt every time he saw it. And Marlene would give her best impression of Barret, laying on an accent so fake and atrocious that Cloud was never sure whether to be serious or burst into laughter.

Either way, none of his family was here now. A loss he felt keenly when he opened his eyes and surveyed the room with pain dazed eyes. The emptiness of the bedroom was immediately depressing, and when the last of the glass hit the ground in a tinkling cascade Cloud stood silently and sighed. He was alone, and more than anything at that moment, he wished that he wasn't. It may have been selfish, but Cloud wanted his old life back again.

A stifled 'yip' broke the blonde haired boy's brooding concentrating, pulling him out of his puddle of depression and self-pity and launching him back into full awareness of the here and now. His eyes gazed the room and he winced as he realised that rather than causing any great state of cleanliness he'd caused more mess to be made than was there to begin with.

Crossing to the armoire the blonde reached a tentative hand into the closet and carefully pet the small pup that'd awakened some what confused in a strange new environment missing his family. Perhaps that was why he'd taken so much pity on the creature. He'd always loved wolves, and the poor orphaned wolf cubs reminded him so much of his own situation that he'd felt compelled to care for them as he wished someone would care for him, as his mother now tried to care for him.

The cub nipped delicately at the strange hand which ruffled its surprisingly coarse fur before curling into the petting sensation. Quickly the animal succumbed to exhausted sleep again. Cloud knew the cubs would probably be hungry soon, and that he needed to go out and find them something to eat. He just wasn't sure what was best to give them yet. But first, before he could do any of that he had to deal with the mess he'd made upon attempting to clean the original mess. He could only hope that this time he was successful and didn't simply create a bigger mess than he'd started with.

Although the irony of the situation wasn't lost on the amused he never the less set back to the task of cleaning the room. Crawling carefully on his hands and knees Cloud first took care of the broken mirror and glass. First he broke the remains of the mirror down into smaller pieces and bundled the glass and wood corpse into the trash can he'd found tucked between the desk and armoire. When that was done he fished all the glass out of the floor, coaxing the tiniest slivers of biting mirror out of every crag and cranny until the floor was one again safe to walk in bare feet.

Although the fact he'd cleared the mess he'd made might seem trivial it brought a warmth to the blonde's far too cold body. He felt as though he'd accomplished something in making the room one iota safer for the small creatures he was soon to release freely into the room. The feeling was so good that he kept going, cleaning the floor with soapy water and a shredded rag. He was just unable to stop himself. Once Cloud started he kept going, his obsessive compulsive tendencies towards cleanliness took over, ensuring that every last inch of the room was clean and neatly ordered before he opened the door to the closet once more.

He had no doubt that if he left the two cubs alone for any span of time longer than several seconds they would tear apart his carefully ordered cleanliness, but that was the price of having children, of taking care of something smaller and more inept than you. He didn't mind, in fact he found with surprise he almost relished the idea of having to come back the next time he visited and fix every last inch of the mess the duo had created.

Carefully he extracted the two wolves from his jacket and placed them on the floor outside of the closet. Their small bodies arched and stretched delicately, tiny mouths opening wide in cute comical yawns, as the two cubs greeted the waking world once more. A smile drew itself across Cloud's lips as he tried to watch the two curious animals without intervening in their behaviour.

He'd never had pets of any kind before unless you counted the chocobo that he'd raced and raised throughout the time he'd traversed the world with AVALANCHE. Personally the blonde never counted those birds that, although they could be loyal and wonderful beings, were predominantly raised in the stables of the Chocobo Farm a small way outside Kalm. He might have bred and used the birds for sport, after all what better way to get money in a pre-apocalyptic world than to become a jockey and place bets, but outside of that he'd had little actual connection with his supposed pets.

This; these wolves that he'd taken under his wing and vowed to protect, they were truly his pets. He was determined to raise, protect and care for his cubs to the best of his ability at the Shinra Mansion. No one and nothing could take that joy from him. Cloud found his thoughts once again returned to the present by the yipping of one of the cubs. His tiny mouth was opened in a small wail, as if he'd just realised that he'd lost his mother. Sighing Cloud took the small animal into his arms and cuddled it, stroking the angular head behind the ears gently.

The movement was kind of therapeutic, and when the other tiny cub started nipping and tugging at the leg of Cloud's pants he couldn't help but laugh and scoop the other wolf up too, nestling them both in close against his body. Most might have seen the gesture as a type of idiotic risk nestling two carnivorous animals that were by now probably quite hungry against his neck, but the small amount of damage he'd received from the pairs mother led Cloud to rather carelessly ignore the risk.

Immediately the pup nestled against the left of Cloud's neck started to nip and worry at the flesh of the warm body holding it. Sighing in amused resignation Cloud put the wolf cubs down again, laughing at the look they both gave him as he stepped back to survey the pair.

More yipping made the blonde warrior sigh yet again, "Fine, fine I'll go and find you two some food. I'm sorry it took me this long. Please be good while I'm gone okay. We don't want anyone getting curious and finding you in here. That would raise far too many questions, and I've vowed to keep you safe. I can't do that if you don't behave, so be good or no dinner."

A fluffy tail drooped between one of the pups legs, and feeling that he'd properly chastised the pair of animals he left the room. The door closed behind him with a soft click, and after a few moments the sound of scratching paws at the door made a small wistful smile appear across the blonde's lips yet again. His pets were so amusing, and the way they were so reliant on him left him feeling warm and accepted.

Quietly and silently Cloud made his way out of the Shinra Mansion and back into the Nibel mountains, avoiding the Nibelheim villagers with practiced ease. There was no game to be found in the first few minutes of his brisk walk, and he found himself humming quietly the song his mother often sung to him at night when he had nightmares. The tune had no words, at least none that he knew of at any rate, though there was nothing to say he simply hadn't heard them, simply a pattern of 'la la la's' that he found soothing in the darkness of a Nibel night.

Rustling caught Cloud's attention, and before the thought was fully formulated he found himself launching into the sparse scrub that adorned the snow capped mountain. His hands found the supple body of moderately sized creature that he'd seen pulled apart by the sharp teeth of a Nibel wolf several times before.

When he'd ascertained that his cubs would eat what he'd found for them he whispered an apology to the small animal and snapped its neck nearly clean off its body. Bones crunched and crumpled beneath tiny fingers that shouldn't have realistically have held that much strength in them and Cloud found himself once again contemplating what an unnatural monster his enhancements made him.

At least this time he had a good reason for causing pain and suffering with his deceptively fragile and weak looking body. He had mouths to feed now, mouths that wouldn't accept anything other than meat as their supper. Not that killing animals, or hell even people, really bothered him all that much anymore. Not that he was sure that it ever had, it was just that the child in him still felt some remorse for any death he caused.

The remorse was an instinctive reaction, one that he'd often wished over the past few years he could rid himself of like a broken toy. Throw away any stupid inconvenience to his task ahead and continue on forwards, but then once those thoughts had crossed his mind he realised what a monster he was for thinking them in the first place.

The wet crunching of snow beneath his feet quickly cleared up and vanished, and with surprise Cloud realised that in his introspective haze he'd managed to walk all the way back to the Shinra Mansion. His game hung limply from a single hand, the fragile neck crushed beneath his too tight grasp with the thoughtless ease of one who was both used to, and unused to Mako.

Crimson droplets rolled down the carcass of his conquest slowly now that the heart was no longer beating in the pitiful creature he'd destroyed. None the less every now and then in a sporadic pattern a drop or two of scarlet liquid flowed free of the corpse he so blithely held free and hit the ground. He could only hope that he'd been as quiet and wraith like in his trip back as he'd been on his trip up to the Nibel Mountains the first two times. The last thing he needed was for someone to have noticed his little venture and to have sought out his mother and told her.

Running about town and entering private property, especially Shinra private property, carrying animal carcasses dripping fresh blood was the last thing he wanted to be noticed for. It would after all raise some awkward questions; questions he would rather not answer if he had any choice. Next time he went out for dinner he would have to pay more attention and make sure he wasn't endangering the existence of either himself or his pets.

If anyone knew what he'd been up to, where he'd been, Shinra wouldn't be the only one upset. His mother would flay him alive and rip the flesh from his vulnerable body at the slightest mention of trouble. She might have been free with her affection, her allowance of free time and her understanding but getting into trouble of any kind was something that was not to be tolerated in the least. In fact he was pretty sure he'd rather throw himself off an air ship than confront his mother for getting into trouble with either the town, the law, or Shinra. A shudder of horror wracked his body as he thought about it. No, if his mother found out about any of it he was screwed.

Forcing his own personal issues to the back of his mind Cloud sought out the newspaper he knew they'd kept around the mansion in one of the kitchen cupboards. It was quite old, and kind of an odd place to find old newspaper to be honest, but heedless of the facts Cloud climbed the stairs once again to give his grateful pets their long awaited dinner, tearing the carcass to bits and leaving it splayed over the piles of newspaper before he bid his pets goodbye, glancing at the sun to guess the time before heading home. Too much longer and he'd receive an earful about how late it was.

"Bye guys," Cloud called shutting the door on his eventful day.

* * *

Okay, so that's it for now I'm sorry to say. No lynching please as I just cleaned the kitchen and I don't want to make a mess all over again *Cloud*. So please R&R and tell me what you think, even if it's shut up you suck...only please don't say that you'll make me sad. Ps - in case anyone was wondering about the titles, they're the names of the songs I was listening to as I wrote. In this case Crossfade - No Giving Up and Evanescence - All That I'm Living For. Thanks, all my love, xxtrissyxx.


	4. Without You

_Hey guys, long time no see. Sorry for the amount of time it took, christmas kind of does that to you. Not to mention the amount of research that went into this bloody chapter. Since I don't own my own psp I had to borrow one off a friend for a few hours each day to make sure I got the dream sequence right. If it's off...just this once please don't tell me, I'm so shattered right now i may try to knock myself out with my keyboard._

I would like to thank everyone who reviewed, favourited, and alerted this story. If I never replied to your review it means I hate you...no just kidding, it means I suck and I can't remember I haven't done it. I try to reply to all review personally. Anyway, thanks, enjoy.

**Word Count**; 7,000 words (at least I'm consistent xP)

_ **Warnings**; Nothing much, there might be some bad language somewhere, other than that, probably work safe._

**Disclaimer**; I am unfortunately not a man, nor am I god. Clearly that means I don't own anything here, although if I did I would make Cloud kill Bear Grylls for drinking his own pee. Yuck. 

* * *

**Rewind**

Chapter 3

Without You

Cloud smiled at his mother, pulling the tired looking woman into a tight hug. Her hair was hanging in semi-sodden masses around her face; a clear indication that at some point it had again snowed; something that must have occurred during his brief adventure into the Shinra Mansion.

The gentle embrace was return with a soft sigh of weary contentment and a tender smile. A hug from her son always made Cloud's Mother feel warm and happy again; a fact he often took advantage of. After all, what had been the point of becoming so smart if he wasn't going to use it to his benefit?

"So sweetheart, what did you do today? Did you have fun with the other boys like I told you to?" Rayne asked softly, her fingers curling into the blonde spikes huddled into her stomach and ruffling the strands tenderly.

"Um…well you see, I meant to go and hang out with the other boys, but then I got distracted. I'm sorry; I know you wanted me to hang out with the children here in town. I'm not going to lie to you Mom; I just don't want to go play stupid games with immature boys who only want to play in the mud…" Cloud trailed off for a moment, a sigh breaking the speech as he tried to find the words he needed

"I don't want to play with the girls who're either obsessed with gossip or think boys are below them either. There aren't that many children in this town anyway, only twelve and we both know that I'm too far above their intellectual level to 'play' the way they do. So please, I'm begging you, don't push it." Cloud replied, his head becoming more and more bowed with guilt over not being able be to the child his mother wanted.

For a moment Rayne was unsure what to say in reply to her sons little tirade. For a second she felt like telling him that as his mother she knew what was best for him. Then with a sigh that betrayed the bone weariness that swept through her body she nodded and pulled back. Gently she fluffed the blonde spikes under her hand one last time before crossing the room to plate up the soup she'd left on the stove to boil all day.

"I understand baby; I always knew you were a special child. I just wanted you to have friends. I don't want you to be sad and lonely because you're so much smarter and more sensitive than they are. But if you don't want to play with the others I don't want to force you to do anything you don't want to do I just worry about you," Rayne said, turning to place the steaming bowls of soup on the table in front of Cloud "It's a mothers job to worry about her children."

''I love you mom," Cloud replied smiling as he sat down to tuck into the soup.

"I love you too, now eat your soup." Rayne replied sitting down to eat her own dinner.

Silence reigned all through dinner, neither party really sure what to say after having what passed for an argument in their house. The tension was more than a little thick, and both parties had more than one thing to think about. Then a sigh filled the air and the tension was broken.

"You know young Alistair right? Well Liz was telling me that the other day the silly boy went out to play in the snow, and he fell straight into a rabbit hole. Poor child was buried under the snow for twenty minutes before someone realized and pulled him out. He's sick now, but we think he's going to be okay once he gets better again. His parents are naturally beside themselves with worry about the whole thing, but as I told them a little cold never did anyone harm," Rayne intoned, her inane gossip doing its work to remove the tension from the air around them as they laughed together.

Cloud got the hidden reference however, and was unable to help himself as he stared more than a little sadly at his mother. Really she had good reason to worry. He'd been too focused on being the child Cloud up until recently, the discovery that he was filled up with mako and ready for war as a child was more than a bit disheartening. And at the same time it was liberating.

Although he was loathe to admit it, Cloud would silently allow whilst in the privacy of his own mind that Hojo's tinkering had done its job. He'd always had that final ounce of strength to get the job done. He'd always outlasted any enemy he fought. The old Cloud Strife had fought many a battle and with his ill begotten enhancements had always come out on top with minimal fear involved otherwise.

Young Cloud however; this new body up until recently at least, had been something of a worry for the blonde haired warrior. He'd been stressing for weeks on end ever since regaining all of his memories about how he was going to work his body up to the level it had to be at to fight Sephiroth and win again. Not that he was planning on encountering a Sephiroth whom he had to slaughter on the battle field. After all the point of this exercise in the futility of life was that he was going to change everything.

Still the point had remained in his head that he would need the physical and mental capacity to face a battle like that again. There were too many variables to consider for Cloud to rule anything out; especially with Shinra involved.

Now that he knew he had the mako in his system to help give him the added boost he'd need in order to get as far as he could there was a weight off his chest. Still there were a great many things to do; things that needed his urgent attention. The most pressing of those was the prisoner locked in mortal slumber beneath the sleepy town of Nibelhiem.

Vincent Valentine was his next objective. He'd ruled the stoic man out up until now for more than one reason. The first of which was rather obvious; the mako. There had been no way a five year old with no training routed in this lifetime would have been capable of taking on all the monsters he would undoubtedly find in the basement of the Shinra Mansion.

For all that he knew he had mako in his blood now he'd been unwilling to risk finding out the hard way in the basement of the Shinra Mansion. In order to even get Vincent out of his coffin he'd have to take on at least on monster for sure; the hideously ugly Lost Number that was locked in the safe on the second story of the Shinra Mansion.

Then there were the random encounters that inevitably drew themselves towards the blonde like a needle to a magnet. Several Dorky faces, Ghirofelgo, Jersey, Mirage, Black Bat, and Yin and Yang riddled the mansion in hidden infestations.

In retrospect Cloud was lucky he'd been free of monster attacks in Hojo's former experimental residence so far. He'd have to remember to get a weapon before he went into the mansion next. This day had been so mentally and emotionally exhausting that he'd never even thought about the fact that he could have been attacked at any moment.

More than anything for the majority of the day Cloud had been nothing but the naïve child he was in body. It was only now sitting in contemplation of everything that had yet to be done, that he would have to do he realised that he needed to work more to integrate the child and the adult inside of him.

Often it felt like one aspect gave way to another, like a switch on a board flipping back and forth in silent contemplation. It wasn't that he was an expert on having multiple personalities in his head, although having Zack and Sephiroth swimming around up there for different reasons gave him insight of kind at any rate. It was just that that didn't seem to be the best approach to the situation.

His new plan was to in some way integrate the two personalities, much like he'd eventually done to Zack once he'd realized that his memories and personality were almost completely flawed. It had worked then to make him a more competent and collected warrior, at least as long as he managed to stay alive at any rate. There was no reason he could foresee that would stop it from working now.

And once he took care of that then reason one for not breaking straight into the basement of the Shinra Mansion and rescuing Vincent was taken care of. He had his mako, his semblance of training, the knowledge he needed and the mental capacity to deal with whatever he crossed.

Reason number two was fact that he wasn't sure how he'd rouse Vincent to his cause. It would be hard to prove that Sephiroth was indeed alive and in serious need of a saviour at the tender age of five. Not only was his physical appearance a liability in the eventuality of needing to convince the sleeping gunman his story was real and not the whimsical fabrication of an overactive child's imagination, but there was the lack of evidence.

The Wutai War wouldn't begin for just shy of another year at his calculations, close to 8 ½ months. He couldn't quite remember the specific date the Wutai War started, though he should, he knew it started sometime in the month of March in the year 1992.

Up until the war Sephiroth wouldn't be mentioned in the news, after all Shinra wouldn't risk airing the news of their secret weapon after all. What use was a secret weapon if the whole world knew about it?

At this point and time Sephiroth would probably be training hard under Hojo's watchful eye, his presence in the SOLDIER program still largely a secret except for those who were privileged enough to train the soon to be legendary silver warrior. Of course for the most part they were then sent on a suicide mission afterwards, only for Hojo to claim their remains to experiment on. Nothing was too much for the wonderful Doctor Hojo.

Since there was no war, no miraculous Sephiroth victories to be made, and no newspaper clippings to be shown there was no evidence at the moment that anything he said was true. That is unless Vincent was willing to trust the rambling of a madman. Hojo clearly wasn't very careful with the notes he wanted his son to read. Leaving them in the open there was a chance that someone else might read them; the question there was, would Vincent? And would the gunman trust those words as truth?

Then there was the final problem with releasing Vincent from his self-imposed prison. Cloud had planned what he was going to do and how he was going to go about it. But if the gunman got out of his coffin right now and actually believed his words, there was the chance that he would leave the five year old behind and attempt to carry out his own vendetta.

He didn't want to risk his plans being ruined by Vincent going in too early; after all he had plans for the gunman. Not that the ex-Turk was going to like them all that much. But still some elements of his other plans really centred around him being able to access parts of the Shinra building he wouldn't be able to without Vincent.

All of those reasons were irrelevant now anyway; he was going to release Vincent from the Shinra Mansion's secret catacomb and hopefully some of his guilt as well. For too long now since he'd remembered the existence of his one time party member and friend, he'd been battling the need to rescue him with the knowledge that he just wasn't capable of doing so. Now the time was just about upon them.

Smiling to himself a little at the thought of a reunion with Vincent, even if he wasn't the same man he'd befriended and later stayed in touch with, Cloud turned his thoughts back to reality and to his more than amused mother.

A flush crossed his cheeks, setting his skin ablaze as he realized he'd completely zoned out in his introspective examination. A smirk of gentle teasing quirked Rayne's lips and a short peal of laughter escaped her before she made her playful retort.

"Good daydream? You were certainly up in the clouds long enough," Rayne said snickering softly at her silly joke, "I guess I named you more aptly than anyone could have guessed."

"Funny mom; very funny," Cloud replied, his lips quirking in a sardonic smile.

"Well I thought so, certainly. It's getting late though; you should probably head to bed now sweetheart. You're already spacing out, and you've got bags under your eyes the size of Wutai," Rayne answered smiling gently as she turned away to put the dishes from the remains of dinner into the sink, her spiky blonde hair wavering as he bounced about.

"But Mom…" Cloud whined sounding every bit like the child this body was, unable to contain himself.

"Not buts young man, you may think you can handle the weight of the world on your own, but you're still a growing young man. You need all the energy you can get so you can grow up big and strong," retorted Cloud's Mother, her voice stern as she turned back from the sink to stare down her child.

"As if that's going to happen…" Cloud muttered to himself, more than a little bitter about the lack of height he'd managed to accrue in his previous body. As a cadet heading into SOLDIER, he'd about reached the peak of his height topping off at around 5'5". An amazingly unintimidating body mass to lug about the wastes and mountains as Zack had when they'd escaped Hojo's clutches together.

Then some time after that he'd been extra lucky, because sometime between Zack's death and defeating the remnant's and his consequent suicide he'd grown another few inches to make his total height a whopping 5'7". Oooh scary.

Ignoring Cloud's muttered outburst Rayne continued, "Besides, I happen to know for a fact that you've been getting up after you've had your nightmares and finishing your school work. Did you think I wouldn't notice you'd already gone through all the work books I have here? That was a whole year's work Cloud, and you've finished it all in the last few weeks."

"Sorry Mom, I didn't mean to, it's just that I couldn't go back to sleep after that, you know how I get. And then I was so bored, there wasn't anything to do in the dark, and I didn't want to wake you up. So I kind of went to the trunk where you keep all the school stuff and I filled it in."

"But you're only five Cloud, you shouldn't have finished all that stuff already. Not that I'm not really proud, because I am, but it's the **why **you've finished all that work baby. You're too young to have all these problems," Rayne crossed the room and pulled Cloud into a gentle hug, "I just worry about you all the time. I can't protect you from these things, and it scares me."

"I'm sorry Mommy, I know you're upset and worried, and that I'm not like other kids. I wish I could be sometimes, just so you wouldn't have to wish and fret. But at the same time there's nothing that can change what we have. We've got each other the way we are, until one of us dies, or until you decide you hate me and throw me out…" Cloud trailed off into silence, his thoughts playing out on the tip of his tongue will little mental interference.

Rayne gasped a breath in and leant down to pull Cloud into her arms, her own body hunched on the floor as she bowed to the weight of her guilt. She was stunned that her child had been carrying guilt over being so precocious.

"Cloud, I want you to listen to me. No matter what you're told, or what your mind tells you I will always love you. You can grow to be a ten foot tall, afro headed, monkey tailed mutant for all I care. You are, and always will be my baby. No matter what happens I'll be there for you okay?" Rayne asked, her eyes spilling over with tears as she asserted herself.

"Yes Mom, I understand. I love you too, and I'll take care of you ok? I'll work hard, and I'll keep you safe. I promise," Cloud answered, his eyes wavering with tears born of high emotionality and fierce determination.

The small blonde was more than adamant that nothing would happen to his mother this time around. Sephiroth wouldn't burn Nibelhiem, the Calamity wouldn't encourage her son to bring forth Meteor, Sector Seven wouldn't drop, and **everything **would be just fine. Once he brought down Shinra of course.

"Of course sweetheart, we'll take care of each other, just you and me, the way we always have. Now time for bed, okay?" replied Rayne, smiling gently as she turned Cloud around and guided him to bed.

The covers were pulled back on Cloud's thickly blanketed bed, the sheets tucked down, and then he was tucked tenderly into the nestling coverlets. A soft kiss brushed across his forehead, and his eyes fluttered closed tiredly.

His mother was right, more often than not the last few weeks he'd been up all night. Dreams that started well and quickly fell into the realm of nightmare plagued Cloud incessantly. Flashes of image lingered behind his eyes, burn like the flash of film on an old style camera permanently into his retina's for hours after the dream ceased.

In fact he hadn't had a full night's sleep in more than a week. His eyes burnt with the dry heat of inescapable tiredness, and with a final sigh he turned his head and fell asleep. The final noise invading his weary thoughts was the soft shuffling of his mother's steps as she crossed the room to finish rinsing the small pile of dishes left from dinner.

~ 0 ~

_The world was at once vast and miniscule around him as Cloud stared at the open sky. In an illogical and senseless way, the contrast between the two mediums made sense. It probably had more to do with the fact that it was a dream, and things that you experience in a dream make more sense than anything you'll experience in waking life, up until the moment you wake and start to question everything._

_A gentle breeze stirred the loose dust snow on the caps of the Nibel Mountains. Clearly the season was late winter, the biting wind still cool enough to send a shiver down his spine. Lifting his arms to rub the bare skin there brusquely, Cloud attempted to brush warmth into his bitten skin._

_The rush of a swiftly moving wind whistled through the otherwise silent terrain with piercing lividity against the bare terrain. Silence filled the air with an oppressive weight, broken only by the whistling wind. The lack of sound was both a torment and a pleasure as he scanned the landscape idly._

_The sky above was the bluest he'd ever remembered seeing it, untainted by the haze of the post meteor blush that coloured the sky a fuzzy vermillion when the sun alit it in a setting blush. And the soft white clouds, his wispy and swiftly fading namesake, shuffled pensively across the heavens in lazy detriment._

_A soft whisper carried across the breeze to fade into his ears languidly, "Cloud…"_

_Turning a little to gaze at the land behind him, blue eyes scanned the blankets of freshly fallen snow with sleepy confusion. He was sure that he'd heard a voice on the wind for a moment, but then that was impossible since he was asleep in bed in his cosy little house right now anyway._

_And yet the sound greeted his perception again, "Cloud, have you forgotten about us already?"_

_The air in front of him wavered a little, like watching a film through bad reception. Pixels of image her and there shimmered to show through another image, splicing the current scene with another. The unbroken visage of the glittering Nibel Mountains wavered and fell away, carried on the wind and scattered by a vengeful breeze._

_Before his eyes Nibelhiem burned anew, the flames searing as the consumed the tiny village. The small buildings formed an oddly perfect picture as they all coalesced into one giant ring of shuddering pulsating fire._

_Screams, hoarse and terrified filled the air as people died a fiery death, trapped for the last moments of their lives in a blazing inferno. The sound was terrible and bleakly amusing at the same time. His hands reached for the shivering flames, passing ineffectively through them like a ghost._

_Already he knew there was no point in trying to take action; after all, this had already happened. How was he going to change the past, change what was long gone and burnt into faded useless memory?_

_Turning to the height of the flame he watched as his unconscious body , laying in the ash flecked snow outside the inn, wavered into the waking world long enough to catch Sephiroth's whispered words._

"_Now is the time for the greeting," murmured the silver haired madman as he turned away from the scene of rampant destruction he'd created._

_Silver hair flew like a glistening banner as it sliced through the air with keen ferocity to rival that of the legendary Masamune. The silken masses fluttered unsigned and unharmed through the searing pillars of flame as the swordsman quickly took his leave through the towering inferno left in his wake._

_Unable to turn his gaze aside or shut out the image Cloud was forced to watch as Zack ran around the village rescuing who he could; namely the little boy who peddled Nibelhiem's great 'Seven Wonders', and the boy's mother._

_When there was no further opportunity to play the hero in town, no chance of rescuing any others Zack abandoned the blazing village to seek out his normally level headed friend. His pace was swift booted feet falling heavy and rapidly upon the wetly crunching snow as he quickly made his way through the Nibel Mountains and into the Nibelhiem Mako Reactor._

_The old metal ground work clanked and hummed ominously beneath the porcupine headed man's feet as he rushed into the room. His sword, the enormously large yet oddly elegant Buster Sword, drawn and held steadily in front of his body in weary anticipation._

_Hoarse chatter filled the air in a cross between conspirative whisper and incensed growling as Sephiroth talked to the being he believed to be his mother_

"_Mother, let's take the Planet back together. I…I had an epiphany. Let's go to the Promised Land, Mother."_

_Zack finally burst in; interrupting Sephiroth's manic tirade, his own voice coloured by disbelief and anger as he purposely strode forward, "Sephiroth! Why did you kill the townspeople? Why did you hurt Tifa?"_

_Silence greeted the statement during Zack's brief pause before he demanded confirmation, "Answer me, Sephiroth!"_

_Almost as if he wasn't aware, or simply just didn't care about Zack's need for answers the silver swordsman ignore the words. His attention remained riveted solely on the shining silver android enclosure bound to the outside of the parasitic alien's tank._

_"Mother, they're here again," Sephiroth rasped in rapt attention, "You should have ruled this planet. You were stronger, smarter. But then they came. Those inferior dullards. They came and took this planet away from you. But don't be sad, Mother. I am with you now."_

_Suddenly deceptively strong arms reached up to grip the edges of the angular robotic face hovering inches away from Sephiroth's own. Swiftly the appendage was ripped free from its socket, oil spilling from the immobile mouth, and sparks flying from the grinning head._

_Finally, the fake circuitry and carcass torn away from the room and dropped unceremoniously to the worn floor, Sephiroth regarded the real form of the manipulative extra-terrestrial pretending to be his Mother. A smirk drew itself coldly across the silver haired warriors face sending a shiver of terror down dream Cloud's spine (that look never bode well)._

"_We meet at last, Mother." Sephiroth greeted proudly._

_As if the senseless violence had broken through Zack's shield of stunned inaction he finally took up arms again; swinging the large edge of the Buster Sword over Sephiroth's shoulder. His own lavender eyes were hard and angry as slitted eyes flicked to the hovering blade almost dispassionately._

"_Sephiroth!" Zack yelled angrily, "Have you lost your mind?"_

_Masamune flashed up, a sudden silver blur whistling at amazing speeds through the air with only the kind of finesse its wielder could manage to repel the Buster Sword effortlessly. The sharp ring of blades locking paths wobbled through the air alarmingly, the first signal of battle to the angered black haired man._

"_Sephiroth, I trusted you!"_

_Again blades lashed across each other, this time in a more obvious swoop as Sephiroth launched an open attack against his subordinate. A smile etched upon his face, eyes wide with indefinable madness, Sephiroth engaged a subtle war with his friend until he knocked Zack down a level._

"_No, you're not…you're not the Sephiroth I once knew," Zack yelled, his weapon flying into the air as an extension of his arm to point to the other man with resigned determination._

_Bracing his arms wide to encompass the world Sephiroth fell into another psychotic inclined speech, "I am the Chosen One. I have been chosen, to rule this planet."_

_Battle waged, a fierce and brazen engagement flying across the empty floor. Parries, thrusts, and barely avoided slashes befell Zack as the sable swordsman attempted to fend of his friend. His jaw was locked, teeth forced together harshly as he stiffened his frame at every blow to try and push back the jarring shocks to accompany them._

_Clearly the winner wasn't going to be Zack, and the moment the acknowledgement appeared in his eyes he was knocked down and disarmed, flying through the door and into the pod room again. There had been little to no chance of the SOLDIER winning against Sephiroth; even as a first class SOLDIER the General's enhancements were far better than his._

_In skipping jolts the scene changed, and the air turned thick and green until the images in front of Cloud's face were obscured by the sickly green of Shinra's refined Mako. Every inch of skin burned and seared with pain, trying to reject the unnatural substance. The added chemicals in the mix of Hojo's own creation from his latest experiment waged war with the planets life blood in vicious agony across sensitized skin. His mouth opened to scream, to yell for Zack, but only the glugging of Mako moving through his throat filled his ears._

_Agony._

_~ 0 ~_

Cloud awoke with a hoarse scream dying in his throat, the blurry reality of his tormented nightmare hanging in a confusing haze over his eyes. The searing tang of Mako stuck like glue to the inside of Cloud's throat causing him to swallow convulsively, trying to rid the taste from his memory.

The darkness of the house was well illuminated by Cloud's Mako enhanced gaze, as he crossed the room as silently as possible to get a drink of water from the tap. He'd been so tired upon falling asleep he'd thought, rather foolishly, that the nightmare might evade him tonight.

But of course, why would luck be on his side allowing him a full night's sleep? Of course, if he really tried there was a high chance he could get his hands on some tranquilizers to help him sleep. If he wandered into the wastes just outside of Nibelhiem there was the chance a random encounter might afford him with the blissful stuff…

But with his luck it was unlikely.

Sighing Cloud drew a glass of water from the tap and guzzled the liquid down quickly. When the glass was empty, and the ghost of his past was gone, Cloud turned to look at his mother. Her blonde hair draped the pillow in long blonde strands, a blissful smile on her face as she dreamt of something wonderful.

It was for her, and for those waiting for him to save them yet again that Cloud ignored the nightmares. That he continued on in this five year old body with an infuriating lack of mobility. There were so many things the old Cloud could have done in his sleep that he'd have to either train into effect or wait until he'd grown again to implement.

A sigh of frustration passed his lips and he turned to the sink and placed his glass down gently before with wraith-like quietness he left the house in search of inspiration. He knew what he needed to do; in fact there were many things he needed to do, but at the top of his list was the most important thing of all. More than anything else, Cloud needed to find himself a weapon. At the very least a temporary one.

Grinning to himself Cloud left the water tower and skulked into the Shinra Mansion. It mightn't be his favoured weapon, but he would teach himself this time to make do with anything he found around here. Through the door to the north he found the chest he'd been thinking of, and smirked victoriously when Yuffie's favourite weapon; a Ninja throwing star by the name of Twin Viper emerged from the box.

It wasn't the most ideal weapon in the world for someone who worked predominantly with large and generally unwieldy swords, but under the circumstances it was good enough. After all, he only had to last long enough to get Vincent out of the basement. Even as a five year old, now that he had a weapon he felt almost invincible.

With that in mind Cloud made his way to the top of the stairs and into the decrepit room that had always reminded the blonde of some kind of study. The safe, innocuous enough in appearance, drew the blonde's attention almost immediately. A smile drew across his lips as he contemplated the effort he'd have to expend to defeat the creature within.

Totally worth it.

With swift fingers he threw the combination Right 36, Left 10, Right 59, Right 97. With a click the safe unlocked, and with trepidation Cloud opened the door to release the entombed creature. The horrendously ugly Lost Number flew out of the box and he had to fight the urge to laugh.

"Oh my god, I forgot how ugly you were," Cloud giggled raising Twin Viper and throwing the weapon at the monster. Using the momentary empty handedness he slipped on the silver armlet he'd found when cleaning the puppies rooms.

For a moment Cloud wished he'd taken the time to gather some material before heading into battle first, but shrugging it off as something to remember he caught the star as if flew back to his hand. Lost Number growled angrily at the physical blow before retaliating with a hit of its own.

"Sorry, but it's true," Cloud giggled, euphoria making him more than a little addled. The rush of adrenaline soaring through his veins was better than any drug.

Attacks flew back and forth as Cloud endeavoured to take down the ugly creature, continuously mocking the half purple and green, half red and yellow monster. His own small body took more than one hit, but with the mako in his system healing the wounds nearly the moment they happened, and the silver armlet bolstering his health the attacks were damn near pointless.

Not that the blonde couldn't feel each and every hit, in fact they did more damage than he was willing to let on in those first few seconds until the wound was healed. However mako could only go so far, and Cloud knew he had to finish it. The creature finally split off into its final form, taking on the purple and green colour in its entirety.

Suddenly every hit that slipped past Cloud's too inept guard was even harsher than before. Grunts and whines of pain filtered out of the boy as he took every hit. His energy and stamina were waning; the adrenaline running through his veins the only thing keeping the child going.

And then the final hit was struck with the ninja star, and Lost Number crumpled and disintegrated. Left where the monster had been was the non-too paltry sum of 2,000 Gil. When Cloud searched the vault the creature had been guarding he found a small collection of treasure. Inside the vault he found the manual for Red XIII's limit break Cosmo Memory, the Odin summon materia, and the most relevant of all the items; a key to the Mansion's basement.

A quick glance out the window told Cloud he'd run out of time however; his mother would be waking soon, and if she found out that he'd been out of his bed and wandering around after the talk they'd had just hours earlier then she might just flay him alive…while cackling gleefully.

Rather than face that kind of torment since his skin was guaranteed to grow back thanks to the mako enhancements, he made the decision to hurry home. Now wasn't the time to rescue Vincent. His body needed time to refresh and replenish energy. It was true that had he wanted he could have gone after Vincent and been perfectly fine, but as a five year old; better safe than sorry.

Light footfalls hit the wet snow, the footprints he left behind blurred and fragmented thanks to the awkward run he was forced to take to reduce the chance of getting caught. Carefully he opened the door, shucked his boots and climbed into bed.

Now that the adrenaline was gone from his system, and the weeks activities had caught up with him Cloud was ready to sleep again. This time the nightmare stayed dormant, his dreams blissfully non-existant.

~ 0 ~

With a languid stretch and a pleased smile Cloud awoke. His bones clicked and snapped causing a sigh of pleasure to pass his lips, and then he sat up straight. Only to find that his mother had already gone. A quick glance out the window showed the blonde he'd overslept.

Rushing to the kitchen table he picked up the note his mother had left behind. Really he hadn't meant to fall asleep this long. He'd intended to do some more school work and then head across the town to rescue Vincent.

His eyes scanned the note quickly;

_Cloud,_

_I saw you'd finally fallen asleep again once you came back in last night, that's right I noticed so if you're going to leave then be careful okay, so I've decided to let you sleep in. Clearly you're up to something, but whatever it is I don't think I want to know._

_No blowing up houses, leaving the village or playing in dangerous areas. I can already tell you're going to be a brave, mature, wonderful young man someday. Keep yourself alive so I can see that okay?_

_Be safe, don't bother with the school work I know you'll be looking for. You've already finished every piece of work you need up to the age of eight. Stop working so hard my wonderful little prodigy. Go out and have fun._

_Love,_

_Mom_

_Ps- I left you an apple for breakfast; I know how much you love them._

Smiling with amusement he put the note on the table and picked up the apple sitting next to the paper. The skin was lusciously red and unbruised. With a delighted smile he brought the apple to his lips and sunk his teeth in, enjoying the crunch as the flesh gave way. Apples were definitely his favourite fruit.

When breakfast was over and done with Cloud threw the core into the trash, drew his shoes on, and left the house. Such was the height of his good mood that he was almost skipping. When a slender figure appeared from the edge of his vision and nearly walked right into him the blonde caught the person and steadied them.

A shock of shining sable hair wavered into his vision, and as Cloud turned his head to regard the person he was holding the familiar shock of recognition hit him. Standing in his arms was none other than Tifa.

While it was true he'd seen the girl many times since she was born the year after him, he'd had little to no interaction with her personally. With a jolt he realized what was about to happen. They were about to talk for the first time.

His mouth opened and closed pointlessly, no words coming out as he tried to find the answer to the situation. It appeared that he was just as socially inept now as he'd been the last time he'd talked to Tifa...well the last time he'd talked to Tifa alive that was.

"Hi, sorry about that…Cloud right?" Tifa asked, ignoring the fish imitation the blonde was making.

"Yeah, um, hi Tifa," Cloud replied stupidly, cursing his inability to think of anything smart to say. They'd once been friends after all, not that this Tifa would remember that, he should be able to speak to her about **something.**

"I…better go. I'm going to play with Alice and Jenny. I'll see you around okay?" Tifa replied with a friendly smile, ignoring Cloud's blonde moment.

"Tifa, wait," Cloud called as the girl turned away to leave, "If you wanted to hang out some time then…never mind."

Unable to complete the sentence Cloud broke off turning his vision to the side, eyes down cast. He missed his old friends. Up until he'd contemplated getting Vincent out he hadn't really given the idea too much thought. He'd been too busy trying to sort out his plans for the future and trying not to appear too smart.

The last thing he wanted to do was to tip anybody off that he knew more than he ought to. No one could know the extent of his plans ahead of time. Granted a lot of his plans needed more work before they were entirely feasible.

With Tifa standing in front of him he'd suddenly become nostalgic, and the need to reach out and be close with her again was almost tangible. For a single moment he'd forgotten himself and made the effort to reach out and speak the way Tifa had always encouraged him to.

"Okay, I'll see you around soon and we can play, right Cloud? Bye!" Tifa called running across the town to where her two friends stood waiting, watching with giggling voices and whispers.

Blushing with embarrassment Cloud waved and continued on to the Shinra Mansion, carefully checking before he entered that no one was watching him. His footsteps were obnoxiously loud in the building as he rushed across the foyer, up the stairs and into the puppies' room.

When his eyes scanned the room the blonde found the state to be better than he'd hoped. For wild animals the two wolf pups hadn't destroyed too much, or even covered the floor with much excrement. They'd gone mostly where Cloud had shown them the day before, with only the smallest amount of mess elsewhere.

The low keening of the pair let the boy know that not only were his pets awake, but they were hungry and he grinned as he handed off his offering to the two. As he'd made his way through the gate to the mansion a stray monster had nipped at his leg.

Annoyed at being bitten through carelessness he'd swiftly killed the beast and dragged it to the room for dinner. The pups yipped happily and dug into the carcass with starved gusto that brought a smile to Cloud's face.

Reaching out he gently pet one of the pups while he was distracted by food, enjoying the oddly coarse feel of the fur. With a sigh Cloud stood up straight and turned to leave the room.

"Well, wish me luck," Cloud called leaving the room.

Wandering downstairs he gathered his small set of supplies. In hand he had Twin Viper, his silver armlet, and the Odin materia which he equipped to a free slot on the band. When his supplies were readied and there was no more stalling to be done Cloud took in a deep breath and slowly let it out before heading to the secret panel on the wall in the upstairs bedroom to the right.

With a click and scratching growl, the secret door opened to reveal the rickety boards nailed to the wall that passed as some sort of ramp. The air was stale and dry for such a long time of enclosure. Dust settled over every inch of the wood in a way that hadn't happened in the main house.

Resigning himself to having to go down to the place from some of his worst nightmares Cloud stepped up to the frame and made his way over the threshold. Now was the time.

* * *

Well that's it for now. Thanks for being here guys. Next time; Cloud will get an ice cream...just kidding we'll see Vincent. We hope. Damn vampire.


	5. Unknown Soldier

Hey Guys, sorry for taking so long. I meant to have this up earlier, but this was probably the most evil chapter I've had to write so far. A lot of you will probably think that it's boring because it's not exactly action packed, in my opinion at least. However you have your wish and you finally get what you've been asking for; Vincent. I want to thank everyone who has read this story, reviewed, favorited, and alerted me. My stats are, to me, totally amazing. I've have 142 alerts, 68 favs, and we're just about at 8,000 hits. So thanks for all the support so far;

This weeks title song is Unknown Soldier by Breaking Benjamin.

_**Word Count**; 6, 500 (sorry, shorter than normal this week; I tried, really I did but I just couldn't squeeze any more out here.)_

___**Warnings**; There is bad language in this somewhere I'm pretty sure about that that one I think, there's a tiny bit of violence, and highly annoying cryptic Vincent-ness; over all I think it's pretty much work safe._

___**Disclaimer**;_ Unless I can sucessfully time travel as of the time I press okay to upload the next chapter, I do not own the rights to square enix and probably never will...

* * *

Rewind

**Chapter 4**

Unknown Soldier

_Previously;__Wandering downstairs he gathered his small set of supplies. In hand he had Twin Viper, his silver armlet, and the Odin materia which he equipped to a free slot on the band. When his supplies were readied and there was no more stalling to be done Cloud took in a deep breath and slowly let it out before heading to the secret panel on the wall in the upstairs bedroom to the right._

_With a click and scratching growl, the secret door opened to reveal the rickety boards nailed to the wall that passed as some sort of ramp. The air was stale and dry for such a long time of enclosure. Dust settled over every inch of the wood in a way that hadn't happened in the main house._

_Resigning himself to having to go down to the place from some of his worst nightmares Cloud stepped up to the frame and made his way over the threshold. Now was the time._

_~ 0 ~_

The air in the spiralling tunnel was dry and stale against Cloud's skin. Dust floated in whirling motes, itching his skin and nose. Ordinarily he wasn't so sensitive towards such things but the shear amount of crap in the air was slowly driving him nuts. Every step along the ancient wooden boards released a squeaky sigh of filth.

It was almost his own personal form of torture walking the decaying steps. In an ironic way it was like time was flowing backwards, and if he went far enough he'd see himself and Zack lying submerged in tanks of mako. Of course that was ridiculous, since he'd already travelled back in time, and he'd passed the event he was remembering but a good handful of years.

The knowledge that he was far from the right time to see such horrors again first hand was irrelevant. Although with a deep breath Cloud was able to put it to the back of his mind the niggling seed of terror remained inside him as he finished his walk down the spiral stairs and into the tunnel.

Ignoring all else and locking his eyes onto the door across the hall Cloud rushed to the room, only to be ambushed, much as he'd expected he would be. Several monsters appeared from nowhere, quickly identified by Cloud as the skeletal monsters Hojo had kept for experiments in the lab long ago.

Raising the ninja star and throwing the weapon at the creatures the dance began. Back and forth attacks flew; the mental training left inside Cloud's head both helping and harrying his cause. Every move wasn't quite as flawless and easily executed as he remembered. Probably because the moves he was acting out without thinking were catered for the reflexes and body constitution of his previous self and not the current one.

One skeleton fell after another, their slinky bony bodies falling to the floor and disappearing into the lifestream. The lifeblood of the planet absorbing their creatures with ease, as many things were taken. And yet not him. But at the moment that didn't matter, after all he was finally here. There were more important things to do; like rescuing a long lost friend that never really knew you because in this life they hadn't met yet.

Yeah, simple things like that.

Raising the key he'd taken from the safe Cloud unlocked the door to Vincent's tomb. The door swung open with an amazingly silent movement, and the blond stepped into the room. Coffins were scattered in the small cavern. From memory he tried to recall which casket was the correct one to open. The rest, he knew, were filled with monsters; other failed experiments much like Vincent most likely.

Selecting what was hopefully the right case Cloud threw the lid open and stepped back into a defensive position, ready for the attack that would have come had he chosen wrong. But it seemed that for once luck was on his side, and the box was indeed the container for his once friend.

Crimson eyes fluttered open to regard the person who'd come to get him. It had been so long since he'd last been woken that perhaps the sight of a child standing next to his tomb was a little more startling than it otherwise might have been.

"Who is it!" Vincent rasped his voice thick and dry from the lack of moisture in his throat. It felt to the gunman, like he'd swallowed an entire box of sandpaper before gargling with rusty nails. To say that swallowing and talking hurt was an understatement.

He sat up sleepily, "...Never seen you before. You must leave."

"Hi Vincent, my name's Cloud. You don't know who I am yet, but I know quite a lot about you, and I was hoping you would come out and help me like you helped Verdot and the Turks when they were looking for the materia to help Elfe with Zirconiade," Cloud replied trying to convince the sleepy looking man lying in the coffin to rally to his side.

"You know nothing, why would I help you. Shinra must be employing them pretty young these days; what are you, three?" Vincent replied suspiciously unwilling to believe that anyone truly understood.

"I know more than you think. Your name is Vincent Valentine. Your father's name was Grimiore Valentine, a scientist who worked for some time with Dr Lucrecia Crescent on the Chaos Experiment. An experiment that killed your father, and at the same time thanks to Lucrecia, saved your life when Hojo shot you right here in this very basement. Of course that was in the lab not in this tomb" Cloud replied his eyes narrowed in fierce determination, "You loved Lucrecia, and for a while you thought that you would be together. That's why you were so betrayed when she left you for Dr Hojo, and gave birth to her son Sephiroth. He was experimented on from the moment his foetus was discernable in Lucrecia's body."

Vincent was silent for a moment in introspective silence allowing Cloud to speak again and end with his finishing argument.

"Hojo has been experimenting on Sephiroth, on everyone for far too long. And I for one intend to stop it. Not now, not next month or even next year; I'm only five at the moment. Far too young to take on the full might of the Shinra Corporation alone, but together, together you and I could take him down."

Vincent's eyebrows drew together in consternation, he was hardly able to believe what was going on and it showed. He'd been locked in the basement of the Shinra Mansion for far too long. Perhaps that had helped in addling his mind a little.

However the fact remained that a five year old boy waltzed into his room like he owned the place holding a weapon just a little smaller than his own body. He'd rattled off the facts of his life like pages of dry text in a novel, strung together in that boring and completely emotionless way, and then he'd announced his intent to take on the biggest most powerful electric and private ammunitions corporation in the world. An organization so large they literally owned a city, and the rights to most of the planet as some sort of weird convoluted government.

"Besides, I'm not three; I'm in fact five and soon to be six. I realise that doesn't mean all that much after all I'm still physically a child, but I promise there's more to me than it looks. Please Vincent, I need your help. I can't do this alone. I have all the plans, but they require you to make them complete," Cloud continued, ignoring the silence the other man maintained.

Silence and introspective monologues that were all spoken internally were such an integral part of Vincent that not only had the blond learnt to read them mostly (since mostly was about the most anyone could reasonably be expected to learn), but he'd adopted the habit himself.

He'd missed watching the heavily veiled thoughts pass through his friends mind. Five years was almost too much for him to stand to be separated from all those he'd cared about.

True in his previous life he'd taken everyone for granted more than he'd ever realized. But living only to watch Tifa run around like a child from a distance was at the same time both heartening to know she knew peace, and disheartening to know that what they had once had was gone and he might never know that same kind of friendship again. So many of the defining moments in his previous life would, all going well, be absent from his new life.

His plans called for most of his friends to meet him again anyway, but the intense travel around the globe in pursuit of a solution to stop the end of the world was a defining moment. Although he would be glad for them to have never happened in terms of no meteor fall at all, and Zack not dying et cetera, et cetera, they were in fact integral moments in his previous life for his friendships. They were the things that had drawn them together and held them fast long after the main problems were done and dealt with.

Glancing at the contemplative ex-Turk the blond screwed his face up in thoughtful determination. He refused to let any of that motivate him. This life wasn't for him, nothing was ever for him. A fact that he'd had to come to terms with in the last few years he'd lived a happy life with his mother. The truth was he was the saviour of the planet.

Zack and Aerith had tried to warn him of this fact just before sending him back, and it was only now several years down the line that he'd really come to accept that fact. It was true that he still found himself in inescapable ruts of deep depression.

However, although the depth of the depression he retained that in a previous life had led him in a dark moment to forfeit everything had remained unchanged, the frequency with which it attacked was a little less. Somewhat eased by the quiet life and the solidarity that had come with this new life. And bolstered by a body that had yet to feel the kind of pain his last had.

No, he was in this until the end to make sure his friends had the best life had to offer. So that they might never again know the pain of such humongous loss as they'd experienced at the hands of Geostigma and the lead up to meteor fall.

"I would be able to kill Hojo, and help Sephiroth? Lucrecia's son?" Vincent asked quietly watching the blond boy carefully, shaking his head when Cloud nodded his ascent, "No, I can't leave here. Let me sleep so I can atone for my sins."

Vincent laid himself back down in his coffin, "Now... please leave."

The cloaked gunman drew his lid over the coffin again, his eyes closing to return to sleep even as the lid was falling shut.

Knowing how this conversation would work Cloud shrugged and turned to walk away, his parting words causing Vincent pause; "Fine, I guess I'll do it all on my own."

Cloud stayed staring at the coffin another moment before bidding farewell to Vincent, "It's okay,"

Vincent opened the lid of the coffin for a moment to stare at Cloud in confusion, as if he hadn't expected the blonde boy to still be standing there. A fact corroborated by his next comment, "...You're still here."

Cloud grinned and nodded, "Good night Vincent,"

The lid to the coffin closed yet again, and Cloud turned to leave the room smiling fondly at the conversation which had gone mostly the same way it had the last time they'd had it. Granted he'd had a few friends there to help him with the interaction last time.

His footsteps echoed in the empty corridor as Cloud made his way back to the spiral staircase; he counted mentally in his head.

_1….2….3….4….5….Bingo._

The soft rustle of fabric met his enhanced senses, and a tiny smile of accomplishment met Cloud's lips before dropping away as he turned around to look at the man wandering up almost silently behind him.

"Wait!" Vincent called to the retreating blond.

"Yes," Cloud asked with a straight face, his eyes glowing in the dark a little, flaring with light born of his emotions as his internal feeling of triumph shone forward.

Vincent paused, his crimson eyes flashing a little gold for a moment as his shock registered through his system. He'd been a little too sleepy and thoughtful in the previous room to notice, but now that the evidence of Mako was shining in his face he noticed how strong it was.

"Your eyes," Vincent stated his tone bland and unbetraying of his emotions and thoughts.

"What about them?" Cloud asked more than a little confused, this hadn't happened last time. Vincent had never taken any notice of them last time, or at least if he had he couldn't remember it. Flawed though his memory was. Perhaps it had to do with him being a child this time?

"They glow," Vincent answered, his words betraying nothing but the truth of fact.

"Yes, with Mako as you might have noticed. Don't worry, it wasn't Shinra or Hojo," Cloud answered with a grin.

"I see…" Vincent trailed off, "What would you need me to do, in these plans of yours?"

"Right now, nothing. The war has yet to begin, and Sephiroth is still hidden by Shinra and Hojo. However, I was hoping that perhaps you would help me a little?" Cloud asked focusing on the ex-Turk determinedly.

Vincent just stared at the boy in front of him silently, his stoic nature leading him to wait until the request was finished; "Hmmm,"

"I realise that I seem very young, but trust me I am more than capable of learning all that Turk training you've had. Better to start now while I'm young so that by the time I'm ready to take Shinra on I've got everything I need," Cloud gave a small quirk of the lips to his friend, "Don't you agree?"

"If you insist," Vincent replied filing the remark about the coming war away in his head. It didn't seem that important, but perhaps it might be later.

Turk training was like that; it taught you to remember things that while they seemed insubstantial and useless may later turn out to be some of the biggest leads you got. Another things he would perhaps have to teach the boy, although who knew how much he already knew. It was clear he was going to have to test the blonde before he could teach him anything.

Vincent didn't trust the other man yet, he was after all nought but a child, but there was still the chance. He knew so much and it was clear that he knew even more than he'd relented to telling yet. Perhaps if he stayed around and played these games there would be a true chance for him to take on Shinra and with it to take down Hojo and save Lucrecia's child.

And it was amazing that Lucrecia's child was still alive, that Hojo had managed to retain a subject for that this long that he hadn't killed, let alone his own child. He was still after all these years in disbelief that Lucrecia had left him for Hojo, that she'd married and his that bastard's son.

If he'd had his way then Sephiroth would have been his son. And that alone was more than enough reason to want to help the child escape Hojo's clutches.

"Lucrecia," Vincent whispered to himself.

"When do we begin?"

~ 0 ~

Cloud sat at his dinner table yet again, his shirt a little bit cut up. The monsters he'd battled that day had taken his shirt and made thin tears through it. The damage was nothing new to him, but to his mother who'd seen the damage before he could take care of it with a needle and thread himself they were slightly concerning.

His gaze was on the floor as he tried to pretend he wasn't sitting in the kitchen of his own house, having his mother glare at him disapprovingly like a child. While this body was a child, he was by no means a weakling and a baby who needed to be lectured by his parents.

Not that he'd been left alone when he'd been with Tifa and his friends in Edge post meteor fall. In fact it was glaringly clear that Tifa had in some ways been worse than his mother, a fact he'd always suspected but never been able to confirm due to the large gap of time between each period of mothering and his faulty memory.

"Cloud Strife, you look at me when I'm talking to you young man, and stop sulking like a baby. We both know you're not one," Rayne snapped sternly getting fed up with her son, and giving him a heart attack.

"What do you mean we both know I'm not a baby? I'm five," Cloud asked trying anxiously to figure out if his mother suspected anything. The last thing he needed was for people, even if it was his own mother, catching on to his secret. The element of surprise and foresight was almost invaluable to his plans.

"Yes, and yet you are precocious enough to finish all your school work a year ahead of time. You're too smart to try and wriggle out of this one. Now tell me what you were doing young man!" Rayne exclaimed brandishing the torn shirt and waving it about in a fit of annoyance, "How did your shirt get like this Cloud?"

Wincing Cloud looked down again and thought through his options. It was clear that while he wasn't quite ousted yet, he was getting pretty close to making some extreme waves. It was best that he owned up to something to deflect the attention away from the real situation.

"I was playing in the snow near the Nibel Mountains and I was surprised by a wolf puppy that wanted to play. He didn't hurt me, honestly. You can even check if you want, but he played a bit rough and then got bored and ran away," Cloud replied stringing together a story born of half-truths.

"Cloud!" Rayne gasped pulling her son to his feet and lifting the shirt he'd been putting on when she arrived.

As Cloud had said, there were no wounds to be seen. Not even the faintest of scratches and the blonde mentally thanked the gods that his shirt was made of black fabric. Any errant blood that had found its way into the shirt was hidden by the dark colour already present.

"Why didn't you tell someone straight away?" Rayne asked drawing her child into a tight hug that cut off his air supply and left him gasping for breath as he pulled away.

"Because Mom, I wanted to play. I had fun; it was so exhilarating and entertaining that I didn't want to call for help. One day I want to be a soldier in the army," Cloud answered feeling the need to share part of his dream, although of course he wanted to be a SOLDIER not a soldier, but that was the same thing any way at this point since the program didn't exist out here.

"But you were in danger; you should have called for help. If that's what you really want to do then fine one day maybe it will happen for you, but don't cause yourself harm now. You're my baby boy. I couldn't stand the thought of anything happening to you," Rayne said her eyes welling up with tears at the thought of losing her son.

"I'm going to start practising now, I'm going to run laps and play swords. I'll try to be careful, but please mom let me do this. I want to. If I start now, then when the time comes maybe I'll be that much better. That much faster. That much stronger," Cloud replied holding onto his mother's hands and squeezing tight.

Cobalt eyes stared into mako enhanced blue, staring searchingly as if looking deep in his soul for something important. Whatever she saw caused Rayne to sigh and nod slowly.

"I can't watch you every second of the day, Cloud. I don't want you to be in danger. In fact the idea of you running around out there and getting into trouble terrifies me almost as much as the idea of losing you altogether. But if I don't let you do it, I know you're just going to go out and do it any way," Rayne sighed lifting a hand to touch her face wearily, settling down into a chair at the kitchen table.

"I-" Cloud started only to be cut off.

"No, just listen; I don't want you to go out there and get into trouble and be too scared to come to me because I forbid it. If you have to do this, you have to do this. I understand you want to embrace your dreams, to reach out and follow them because you're young and filled with ideas. I don't want to bring you down or leave you stuck here for the rest of your life wishing you'd done things differently," Rayne continued dropping the hand from her face to stare unwavering into Cloud's face.

"I just want you to be careful; to stay safe, and to come to me if you need help. You're only five Cloud, no matter how old you may think you are, no matter how old you act. You're still my baby, and I want you to trust me enough to tell me anything. I love you, no matter what. And I want to support you in anything you want to do, and that's why I'm going to let you do this." Rayne continued after a brief pause.

"Thank you Mom," Cloud whispered turning his gaze down.

"On one condition," warned the blonde woman sternly.

"What?" Cloud asked his eyes wide as he looked at his mother again.

"You stay inside of Nibelhiem, you don't take on any more of the local wildlife, and you promise to seek help immediately if you're hurt," Rayne replied.

"I promise, I'll be careful," Cloud answered his lips curving into a strained grin.

Rayne smiled back, her own smile a little tense as well. Tension reigned as she laid the ripped shirt on the table that had started the discussion and inspected the garment closely. It wasn't yet beyond help; with a little repair it would be wearable again.

"Cloud, would you fetch me the sewing kit from my trunk please?" Rayne asked quietly as she gestured across the room vaguely, absorbed in her own thoughts as she inspected every tiny cut.

Nodding, even though he knew the gesture would be lost on his wholly absorbed mother, Cloud turned away and got his mother her sewing kit as she'd asked. He knew that his mother was trusting him to follow the rules she'd set. She trusted him to take care of himself, and to be considerate of his own body and limits.

Rayne did indeed know her child well, Cloud couldn't help but think. It was true that no matter what she'd said he would have done what he wanted anyway; too much was riding on him to let everything fall to the wayside for the sake of one woman's permission. Even his mother.

Now that she'd set her limits, there was more of a chance he'd be careful. It was true that he'd still push himself to the edge, but with his mother's words spurring him he'd be more inclined to stop in the realm of sanity.

She didn't exactly approve, especially with such a young child wanting to take on this type of training. But the truth was that she just couldn't conceive the sort of training he was really going to take on. Not many outside of the Turks, SOLDIER, and madmen really could.

As to which one he was; that was yet to be answered, all going to plan he'd be a fully trained mix of all three within a few years. If not officially then in terms of knowledge.

It was for that reason he went out of his way to help his mother that night. She was burdened with the knowledge of his actions now. A fact that would haunt him for some time to come, but something that now he'd partially revealed it he'd have to live with. That they'd both have to live with.

Cloud not only got the sewing kit for his mother, but he served dinner. He cleaned the dished while the other blonde was focused on repairing his ailing wardrobe. And then at the end of the night he hugged his weary mother and tucked **her** into bed for the night.

Thoughts whirling he settled into bed himself, after all he needed his sleep; tomorrow was a big day.

~ 0 ~

Nerves fluttered about in Cloud's stomach as he stood in the foyer of the Shinra Mansion. No doubt Vincent already knew he was here. He'd only been able to surprise the cloaked gunman a handful of times in their entire friendship. He just had this uncanny ability to know when something was going to happen, and to be listening out and ready by the time it did.

His footsteps were loud and echoed on the solid floor beneath his feet. He didn't bother trying to hide his presence; if that was what the cloaked gunman had wanted, he'd most likely have alluded to it in some way. However since he'd had no hints to that effect he continued up the stairs until he met his old friend on the ledge staring out the stained glass window.

"Good morning Vincent, sorry I'm a little late. My mother asked me to complete an essay for my schooling. Some weird test that has to be sent away so I can get my level 1 certificate. I'm going to start the next year early," Cloud greeted, grinning with amusement as he did so.

"Cloud," Vincent greeted turning away from the fragmented light shining through the window to regard the boy in front of him.

Cold temperatures weren't as noticeable due to the mako running in his system, and the fact that after he'd had the fight with the wolf a few days earlier he'd left his jacket here with the puppies.

His jacket needed a little bit of repairing before he could take it home and let his mother see it. He barely noticed the difference, something he'd never thought about until recently, but he hadn't had the chance to take the broken coat home yesterday before his mother had arrived. He'd been later than he intended in the first place after rescuing Vincent and finding food for his pets.

Late enough that he'd ended in trouble because his mother had seen the mess made of his shirt before he could fix it himself.

"I realise you're five Cloud and it's highly unlikely that you know much but have you ever been taught anything before about fighting?" Vincent asked, mainly out of the force of Turk training habit than anything.

"You wouldn't believe me," Cloud replied shaking his head, "Suffice it to say I know a little bit."

"I see…" Vincent answered leaving the staircase and heading into the foyer where there was a large open space in which they could test their limits a little. He didn't truly believe that there was much for Cloud to show him, however he could tell just by the way the blond carried himself that he'd had or observed some type of eclectic training.

Cloud joined the gunman who readied himself into a fighting stance that was loose and relaxed. If he hadn't know that the best way to get a feel for the competency of someone's training and fighting proficiency he'd have felt a little bit worried about fighting his old friend in this body with so little preparation.

He knew how much damage that thin body, sheathed in supple battle leathers, tattered cotton and shining golden metal could do. At first glance Vincent didn't seem like much, skinny and all sharp defined angles, but a hellcat in motion. Moving with feline grace and lethal passion the ex-Turk could take an enemy out in seconds without breaking a sweat.

This body was still relatively untried, and while the previous Cloud could have taken Vincent on with ease enough to let them spar with friendly enjoyment this body wasn't ready to do that yet. It was too small, too weak, and too slow from lack of honing to pose a real threat.

Good thing this was a friendly fight then.

In the blink of an eye Vincent was in motion, his limbs were a blur of movement as he feinted towards the blond before turning to slip around behind him. The un-clawed hand flashing out in a swift lash, only to be just deflected by a slightly awkward upwards block that clearly drew its inspiration from some type of karate.

"Hmmm…" Vincent hummed, correcting the block into something that would be more convenient for a child of Cloud's size.

Vincent rounded again, throwing another punch at the young boy, only to have it deflected again with the new and improved blocking technique. A minute quirk of Vincent's lips let the Cloud know that the ex-Turk – no his mentor; his mentor was happy with what was happening so far.

The same block was used, as Vincent attacked the same way over and over and over again. The new technique becoming instinct; hammered into his body's reflexes from over use.

Only when Vincent was content with the move did he pull another attack; a kick flying out just slow enough for Cloud to parry the move with a swift open palm block again from some type of martial art. A move that was quickly changed by Vincent to become a closed fist block.

"Closing your fist means when you develop the strength you can break the bone in the leg rather than just deflect. It's both a defence and an offense," Vincent said, his voice a little muffled by the red duster covering his lower face.

Nodding Cloud allowed Vincent to repeat the move over and over again. It was boring and repetitive, but drills like that were common place among whatever type of fighting you took on; among martial arts, boxing, and even armed weapon play. Arduous and almost mind numbing after a while, drills were more often than not the contributing factor to perfecting a move.

When the gunman had finished teaching Cloud to correct the moves he pulled he stepped back and looked the sweating blond up and down. Spiky hair managed to stay aloft, even with many strands plastered to his face with clammy sweat. His cheeks were flushed red with the evidence of both physical exertion and heat.

"Grab a drink Cloud, never let yourself get dehydrated if you can help it," Vincent lectured watching the blond nod and wander away.

Enhanced hearing allowed the gunman to hear the tap run in the kitchen as clearly as if Cloud had been standing next to him pouring a drink. He was lucky there was any leftover china in the mansion at all, let alone the kind that was okay to use with human consumption.

Rule number one of dealing with the Shinra Corporation; **never** trust Hojo.

He was impressed with the blond boy. He worked harder than most would have thought a five year old capable of. He showed more knowledge than he should have about martial arts. It wasn't perfect knowledge, more the sort of thing that seemed to be learnt by sight. Something, just didn't add up. Something that was spurring the Turk to stay and mentor the boy to figure it out.

He was snapped out of his thoughts by the return of the focus of his thoughts. The boy was smiling contentedly to himself. He never felt as good about himself as he did during and just after a really good work out.

Tifa always said it had something to do with the endorphins that exercise pulse through your system like a reward. That didn't change the fact the Cloud felt almost giddily happy as he stood in front of his friend.

"Thank you for helping me Vincent," Cloud stated grinning uncharacteristically at the gunman.

In classic Vincent behaviour the gunman reacted using only a nod rather than actually speaking. The familiarity of the act made the blonde smile nostalgically. He'd missed his friend and more than anything at that moment he wanted to turn around and spill his plans.

A bout of laughter caught in his throat at the idea of spilling everything. Knowing Vincent the crimson eyed man would hear the whole situation and then just make a vague humming noise of agreement. The poor man was never very good with verbally articulating his thoughts.

"You should stretch so your muscles don't seize," Vincent stated watching the boy carefully trying to understand him.

Cloud moved into his stretches with ease, shifting with perfect balance from pose to pose. His eyes fluttered shut as he breathed slowly in and out; mentally and physically centring himself. When his limbs were pulsing with blood, and throbbing with strain the boy stood and smiled again settling into a relaxed pose again.

"I'm going to go now okay? It's getting late, and if I don't go soon then my Mom will start getting worried," Cloud said watching Vincent for a reaction.

Another nod was the only reaction he got. Much like the last time they'd first met, Vincent seemed to be taking his time settling back into the world of the living. His thoughts seemed, when he took the time to stop and think outside of their conversations and training, to be deep and pervading; consuming the gunman entirely for moments at a time.

"I'm going to go find the puppies some dinner; did you need me to get you anything while I was out?" Cloud asked knowing he was the only one of the two who could reasonably be seen inconspicuously wandering around the town buying things out of stores.

True Vincent had the skill to just steal most of the things he needed, but in the long run it was easier for Cloud just to supply the basics to the gunman. However all thoughts of supplies and essential items he might need to obtain were knocked out of his head when his mentor shook his head.

"Thank you Cloud, but I don't require anything," Vincent answered quietly before turning to leave, his cloak rasping on the floor the only sound the man made as he retreated to the room he'd claimed upstairs on the opposite end of Cloud's wolf puppies.

Shaking his head in amusement at his former friend Cloud made his own way out of the foyer, turning instead to the outdoors to find his pups some food. It took several minutes and a little bit of a walk, but Cloud found a reasonably sized game catch to feed his pups.

When he entered the room the pups were in they yipped happily, attempting to bowl him over in their glee to see him. They knew he had their dinner in his hands and they were pleased and eager to receive their much anticipated food.

"Here you go Geri," Cloud cooed feeding the bigger sleeker wolf pup half the carcass, throwing it on the floor beside the eager wolf.

"Here you go Freki," Clod cooed again, giving the last half of the carcass to the other wolf pup.

He'd considered calling the pair many names, but when he'd come up with their names Geri and Freki stood out. They were in a Norse Mythology book his mother had hidden somewhere on a shelf, and when he'd picked the book up he instantly knew that was what he was going to name them.

He smiled to his pets and pet them both on the head gently on the head before bidding them farewell and heading home. He was already a little late, after their talk the night before if he was too late his mother would probably have a heart attack.

All in all, today was a good day. He could only hope that tomorrow was just as good, and that for a little while at least he could continue to feel this way.

* * *

Thanks guys, please let me know what you think. I've had so many wonderful reviews and I try my hardest to answer every piece of each one, and I really enjoy reading and replying to your words. Hope this wasn't too bad, no flying Vincent at the least right? Hope to see you next time.


	6. Goodnight, Dr Death

Sorry it took so long for this chapter to get out. The course I'm on has now decided that I can't stay there and the government is forcing me to get a job. They're aiming for retail apparently. I'm more than a little confused because I'm supposed to be there while I go to therapy for **social phobia, anxiety, paranoia, and depression. **WTF People! It's longer than the last one though! Yay for that! Thanks for all those who have read this story, and all those who've reviewed as well. I really appreciate it.

This weeks title is Goodnight, Dr Death from the new album by My Chemical Romance.

_**Word Count**; 7500 Words!_

_____**Warnings**; I **know** there's bad language in this one, as well as a **lot ** of angst. I blame the combined weight of both Vincent and Cloud._

_________**Disclaimer**; The apocalypse hasn't come so I can't claim that I own this yet to the easily awed denizens of a desolate world._

* * *

**Rewind**

**Chapter 5**

**Goodnight, Dr Death.**

If he hadn't seen, and in some ways been through a similar process in his previous life, Cloud might have thought that Vincent was trying to kill him. Several weeks after releasing the ex-Turk from his self-imposed torture in the crypt and things still hadn't settled into a viable pattern. At least not in terms of what they did during training.

The rest of Cloud's life was running normally, and things were altogether far too smooth, in that way that's almost like a glass of water. You want to go look at something but if you move the glass the still surface of the water will break. And it's terrifying.

Rayne Strife had even settled into the rhythm of things. She still worried about him of course, especially after he'd finally fixed his coat and came home with it repaired. Her priorities were confusing to say the least. But, she was supportive in any way she could be, while still being overbearingly nagging and fretting of course.

If only she knew the sort of things Vincent had him doing. While his awkward limbs and size made combat a little bit more difficult than it used to be, they still did all their drills and spars every couple of days. In between was where the hard part happened.

Vincent made it a requirement to be on edge all the time, since he made it his job to sneak up on Cloud and attack him to help build his spatial awareness. In return Cloud was expected to try and do the same to Vincent. Which of course was damn near impossible in itself, thanks to Vincent's Turk training coupled with his enhanced senses.

And then at other times they'd be doing target practice, either with the Twin Viper or with the nameless gun Vincent had produced one day. They didn't have the kind of resources he'd later be a able to find at Shinra, with paper people able to slide up and down the track to change the degree of difficulty.

Instead they used small game at times, usually as a way of hunting the puppies' dinner. Puppies that were starting to get big, and would probably soon need to be let outside to live back in the wild. Another loss for the spiky headed blonde.

"Cloud," Vincent interrupted his thoughts with his deep tones, "You're supposed to be shooting the target."

Shaking his head, blonde spiky wavering like grass caught in a heavy wind, the boy turned his thoughts back to the here and now. Vincent was right, there was so much to do and so little time to deal with all the things they needed to do.

Steeling himself Cloud raised the gun in his hands. It wasn't exactly Cerberus, but it shot true, and was a good starting point. He could learn all about shot guns, rifles, and machine guns at a later point. There shouldn't be a situation in which he'd need to relearn those skills, but it didn't hurt to have them.

Blue eyes narrowed as they stared down the line of his gun, using both arms the only way his body could take the recoil. One day he'd be able to fire a shot gun one handed like Rufus Shinra, but even now with his mako enhanced body, the sheer force of the gun would knock over his tiny frame.

Sometimes, being little sucked.

Supple fingers caressed the trigger thoughtfully as he watched some kind of rabbit snuffle at some shrubbery thoughtfully a few metres away. His concentration was entirely focused on the tiny creature as he cemented his mark.

When he was ready to take the rabbit down he let fire, on singly bullet to the poor bunnies head taking its life instantly. His pets would eat well tonight if he kept up this streak. Already he had a small pile of game at his feet; several rabbits slumped delicately in a caricature death.

Vincent nodded at the fallen animal and hummed approvingly as Cloud made his way through the sparse scrub dotting the edge of the Nibel Mountains. The blonde grinned happily to himself as he gathered up the fallen creature and returned to his shooting spot to dump the most recent rabbit o the pile.

He was pleased at the amount of progress they'd made with his training over the last couple weeks. They'd been working together for a little over two months now, and even though he knew more than half of the things his friend was trying to teach him already for one reason or the other his style and aptitude had changed immensely.

No longer did the blonde warrior find himself tiring out after a few minutes of work because his tiny body couldn't handle the stress. His movements were more confident and fluid in a way that came not only with specialized training for his body, but with pure and simple happiness and pride.

Cloud picked up his small pile of animal carcasses, easily hefting the relatively light bundle into his arms and following Vincent back into the Shinra mansion. The red of Vincent's cloak billowed around the vampire like a rippling sea of blood entrancing the blonde's mind thoughtfully.

It was entrancing the way the crimson material, tattered and imperfect made such a perfect red silhouette on the ground, and it was unbelievable.

He barely noticed when they made their way back inside the building being busy caught in thought. A fact he'd been unaware of until suddenly the cloaked man attacked with startling viciousness. His arms released the wolves' dinner, and immediately flew into the correct stance for defence.

His analytical mind immediately began plotting what he could do and how he could do it, to take Vincent down. This wasn't play to him, this was war. And you didn't speak of war; you just won it before the other guy could.

His mentality was such that he was barely aware of every thought pouring through his head as he thought over every flaw his opponent had. He ducked and dodged carefully, throwing his arms into every movement with precise force and angles.

His technique was almost perfect, something that the gunman had indeed noticed as he kept Cloud on his toes about the situation. He was impressed with his student although his tough exterior and gruff nature would never allow him to overtly show it.

Finally Cloud saw his opportunity and took it. Time seemed to slow in his mind as his mako enhancements let him analyse every minute part of Vincent's incoming attack.

His mind picked apart every tiny detail, enough to register that the gunman had a split second weakness with his gauntlet covered arm that would allow him to get the upper hand for a few moments.

And that might just be enough time for the type of training Vincent had been giving him to kick in.

Before the man could figure out exactly what he was up to, Cloud danced into the attack, twisting around in into the cloaked body before him. He gripped the golden slashing arm tightly and pulled it around to add the momentum of the swipe enough that the attack just kept going until Cloud was able to duck under the arm.

The blow hit the ex-Turks own body with a fair amount of force and momentarily startled him enough that Cloud was able to turn and run out of range.

He ran for the tiny table that appeared before the stairs that twisted through half the room; he didn't have the time or the room too circle back around Vincent and take the traditional route.

His feet caught the table, and then he was thrusting his tiny body through the air and onto the banister of the split level floor and pulling himself up. He just cleared the railing as Vincent recovered and took the more traditional route of using the stairs.

He quickly took the next set of stairs up to the top balcony and turned right. He opened the secret panel down to the lab and then threw his body under the bed in the room. His breaths were violent pants and he closed his eyes and forced his breathing to calm.

He didn't need to be panting like a wolf and give his location away; that would totally ruin the point of this strategic retreat. He needed the gunman to think he'd taken the rickety stairs down to the laboratory basement.

The basement was like a labyrinth, technically it would make sense to hide down there, but Vincent had the advantage in that area, having worked in the tunnels before. He had after all spent a fair amount of time guarding Lucrecia from harm there.

His thoughts were shaken and his breath stopped when the sound of metallic steps caught his ears. His heart seemed to be beating over time. His head was swimming with adrenaline.

Just as the gunman stepped to the doorway of the tunnel Cloud silently slipped from under the bed and made to launch himself at his opponent before Vincent turned around and nodded stopping the movement mid thought.

He knew he probably looked pretty stupid standing in a semi-crouch with wide eyes and bent arms ready to fling himself at the other man; but his shock froze him.

"Good work Cloud," Vincent nodded his eyes flicking to the door behind him, "You used your surroundings and your knowledge of the individual to your advantage. Perhaps I might not have known you were there if the bed spread weren't displaced and your breathing so loud."

"Damn, I thought I had you on that one, especially when I used my parkour to climb from the table to the balcony. You should have seen the look on your face, you seemed so confused in that Vincent way it was almost funny," Cloud replied with a grin of amusement, his body relaxing back into a waiting stance that was somewhere between normal standing and the ready martial arts stance.

"Hmmm," Vincent answered his vocal abilities to for actual coherent phrases clearly up for the day.

Cloud knew however that Vincent was happy with what he'd done. He'd used not his brawn, because by comparison he knew that he didn't have enough to win, but his intelligence and training straight away.

He'd used the Turk training he'd learnt to its optimum and placed his own unique spin on it with the style of his moves and the way he executed his plan. At the very least he was pleased with the way he'd handled himself.

"I should get the kid's dinner," Cloud said turning to leave the room before turning back and looking at the silent gunman, contemplating rectifying his statement before shaking his head and turning away.

His head was awhirl as he turned away from the room and made his way back to the foyer in which he'd dropped the **puppies'** dinner.

He'd never meant to call them his kids, honestly he'd hadn't thought too much about why he kept them after the first day in which he was able to rationalise the fact that he'd killed their mother and without him they'd die in the cold wilds.

Now it was clear however that his mind had apparently had ulterior motives when he took the kids- **puppies** in.

He hadn't thought too much about what they did for him personally other than being a nice time filler and the first pet he'd ever had besides the chocobo's he'd raced during and a little after meteor fall.

Even when he'd stopped racing them he'd continued to care for them; he'd take Fenrir out to their stable every now and then and take care of them some. They were just pets.

His puppies though in this life, they were so much more than that for him. He'd been so caught up in his plans and his ideas that he hadn't taken the time to really think about anything beyond being one step ahead.

However in hind sight it was clear to him he'd taken in the animals as a way to fill the hole he had made with the absence of all his friends. It was a rather painful realization to come to, one that he almost wished he hadn't.

If he'd never said **kids** instead of what he meant to say, puppies, he wouldn't feel like someone was digging around inside his chest.

His eyes filled with tears and he huddled in on himself as he broke down into another fit of depression. It had been so long since he'd last had one to this crushing degree that he'd thought for a while that maybe with the return to the past he'd gotten a little bit better.

He'd been enjoying everything so much that to turn around and fall into this pit of despair now was almost too much. He felt like he was going to break again.

His body began to slump to the floor into a huddled ball, careless of where he was and who else, mainly Vincent, might be around. He'd had his days over the last few weeks where he'd been less than animated sure, but the ex-Turk wasn't yet aware of the depth of his students' deep seated depression.

He'd had little to no visual or auditory hallucinations since he's arrived back in his childhood, and he'd usually known where he was upon waking. This however, the need to crawl into a ball and die, it just hadn't changed.

His breath grew sharp and harried as he panicked; there was so much to do and so little time to do it. He was more behind on everything than he wanted to be. He'd spent too much time waiting and not enough getting everything done and organized.

He thought when he'd regained all his memories that he'd just pick everything he used to know up in a fell swoop and be able to do everything he used to all over again. That life would be the same as it was even with all the changed he had to make.

And yet here he was, trying so hard to pull everything together and failing. Tifa asked him to play for fucks sakes, he was technically nearly thirty and he'd been asked by the girl who used to mother him incessantly if he wanted to play.

Laughter spilt hysterically from his lips and filled the room, and he just knew that Vincent must have heard him. And yet the man didn't come down, he gave him his breakdown privacy.

And that both relieved and irked him. He was both glad his old friend didn't come down to see him this way and then again he was angry and hurt about it. He knew Vincent wasn't a touchy feely person and that he was pretty much hopeless with the spectrum of human emotion and communication.

That didn't stop the blonde from feeling like the cloaked gunman should come down and confront him face to face and try to help.

Which was completely irrelevant anyway because not only did Cloud not want him here to see this hysterical break down anyway, he wanted to be comforted by his friends for once, but he had none now.

His head was filled with run on thoughts and ideas. He couldn't help but feel confused, and that fuelled his panicked paranoia. Pins and needles were stabbing in a ticklish way up and down his arms and legs, torturing the extremities to make them feel like they were dying.

Watery blue eyes squeezed shut to block out the wavering black blobs running playfully across his vision. His head was pounding with the force of all the blood and oxygen rushing there. He felt like he was dying, his life ebbing away again, and running like sand through his fingertips as he sweated profusely.

Then the black blobs behind his eyes burst into amazing starburst colours. His last breaths drew harshly through the back of his throat and made a heavy rasping like the sound of an asthmatic gasping for breath.

Then everything was gone.

~ 0 ~

Bleary eyes opened in confusion as they attempted to take in the room. Cloud knew one thing for certain; he hadn't fallen asleep at his own house. His bed was still made, his covers drawn back at the corner to allow him to climb easily inside.

However he'd gotten here, it hadn't been on the virtue of his own two feet. His head was still slightly fuzzy in that cotton wool way that always happened to you after you had a panic attack. His throat was dry and parched, craving a cool glass of water desperately.

The whistling sound of a boiling pot filled the air, and broke Cloud's bout of introspection. He lifted his head and looked to the source of the noise.

His mother stood at the stove, delicately stirring a giant pot of some wonderful smelling substance. He was surprised that he hadn't noticed before now, but once the smell hit his nostrils he realized that he was starving.

"Good evening Cloud, I'm glad you're awake. He said you were going to be just fine and that once you woke up you were going to be ravenously starving and incredibly thirsty," Rayne greeted, not bothering to turn around and look, "Another panic attack?"

He hated the way his mother could do that. She'd done it in her past life too, and now he wasn't sure who had more Turk training; him or his mother. Some mothers said they had eyes in the back of their heads to watch their children and stop them misbehaving.

Well, Cloud was pretty sure she had eyes on the tip of every damn roof eave in town. There was nothing she didn't know about the people in town, or couldn't tell you.

Even if she hadn't been there at the time, she was always at the fore front of the latest gossip. It was probably the only outlet of boredom in this otherwise sleepy town.

"Yes, but Mom, who are you talking about?" Cloud asked in confusion, he didn't know anyone who would take him home.

"Vincent dear, such a lovely man, if a little odd," Rayne replied still not turning to look at her son, "He said he carried you in from the snow around the edge of Nibelhiem."

That was when he got why his mother wasn't turning around. She probably thought that he'd gone out of town and that Vincent had found him after he'd collapsed there from fright after being attacked by some sort of animal. Of course, that was kind of true. He had indeed been on the outskirts of town heading out of it when he went hunting for rabbits.

However he hadn't been attacked by anything other than his own conscience and unstable mind. Of course he had indeed collapsed from fright. But that was what happened when you had a panic attack; you scared yourself, in his case at least, right out of consciousness until you met the blissful tide of oblivion that carried you away in velvet tides of peace until your body was ready to restart.

In effect it was similar to a virus ridden computer; the virus eats through the hard drive until the computer starts to panic. It gives off warnings and glitches like an epileptic in a disco and then when everything gets too much it crashes and burns. Then of course you have to wait half an hour until you can either turn it back on or completely re-install the operating system.

"You met Vincent?" Cloud asked with wide eyes.

"Yes, very nice man. He brought us the rabbits you caught for dinner before you passed out," Rayne answered gleefully, "I didn't realize you were getting so good at stuff like that Cloud. I'm so proud of you. Vincent wanted you to know there was enough left over for Geri and Freki. Whoever they are."

"I see," Cloud replied laying back down again, "So I guess that dinner will be rabbit. Did you have to skin it and prepare it?"

"No, Vincent gave it to me already done. I thought perhaps you had done it." Rayne replied distractedly, picking up a ladle and beginning to ladle the dense stew into the two bowls sitting on the bench.

"No, he must have done it for us," Cloud answered his brows drawing together in confusion.

Vincent wasn't really usually the type to turn around and organize something like that without prior asking or a really good reason. It was so out of character in that respect Cloud couldn't really help but feel surprised.

A small smile settled over his lips as he considered the fact that not only had Vincent dropped him off at home. He'd have had to carry his tiny figure all the way from the Shinra Mansion's foyer through Nibelhiem to his house. He couldn't help but let a snort out at the idea of the private man he'd known for so long doing such a public service.

To make matters even better the poor man had probably not even expected his mother to be home. She must have been home earlier than she normally was in order for Vincent to run into her. Unless he'd waited for the blonde woman to come home to tell her what had happened and give her the meat he'd prepared.

He just couldn't image Vincent sitting down with his mother for a cup of tea and a chat. The domesticity of it all just made him laugh. He couldn't stop once he started, especially when his mother leant over him and called his name questioningly.

Suddenly everything was hilarious and he felt like he was bathed in golden sunshine and walking on air. The invincibility of a god complex ran through his veins for but a brief moment before he sighed to himself and released his euphoria in a single breath.

Tiny fingers rose to blue eyes and wiped away hysterical tears he hadn't meant to shed. He'd just suddenly found everything uncontrollable. The image he'd imagined was nearly as bad as thinking about the current Vincent wearing a suit.

And of course that image set Cloud off again. Laughter bubbled up from the back of his throat and spilled from between his lips. Air was becoming a precious commodity as he started to gasp; a full image of Vincent dressed in his suit running through his head.

Perhaps the image would have been okay if he hadn't known the ex-Turk only when he'd worn the scarlet tattered coat, golden gauntlet and boots, and the stretchable black body suit. It was the only way Cloud could honestly see him without laughing. Although all going to plan he was going to have to learn to deal with the image eventually anyway.

Virtual Vincent in his head turned to look at him, the long sable tresses wavering around his face with the movement dramatically. The long strands were no longer held back from his face by the red headscarf Vincent currently wore. Instead the gunman wore several bobby pins to keep his weighty bangs back.

As his whole body shifted round imaginary Vincent's outfit came into view; the well-tailored black suit with closed zippered front. A crisp white shirt buttoned to the top and accented with the trademark black tie. The whole thing topped off like a sundae with a cherry by tailored black slacks and shiny, polished dress shoes.

The whole thing was just too much. Realistically he knew that Vincent had in fact dressed like that before. He'd seen pictures of the gunman dressed like that produced by the WRO. In fact his friend even looked nice in those clothes back then with his short layered hair. The effect had been young and cute.

But that wasn't the way Vincent was now. It just wouldn't work for him anymore, but in order to blend in again he was going to make the man re-suit himself for the greater cause. And that thought again sobered Cloud from his strange bout of humour.

"Sorry, just being all bi-polar again," Cloud laughed as he sat up and set his feet on the floor.

Vincent and his mother were right; he was hungry enough to eat just about anything. Including that one Cactuar he'd tried once when he'd been travelling and unable to find anything else. Not that he'd told anyone but Tifa about it. She'd given him a weird enough look about it that he didn't understand.

Technically Cactuar's were edible as long as you had a system that could metabolize the toxin they created during death. It was a mako like substance, so those with Mako enhancements had nothing to worry about. They could eat as much as they liked with little to no effect.

If Tifa had tried the Cactuar there was no doubt in his mind she'd have become sick. Not horrendously so. There was no way near enough mako in the monsters to give anyone either mako addiction or poisoning. There was just enough in there however to act much like food poisoning. He's seen it happen once before as a cadet.

The blond grinned at his mother happily, "Smells good,"

"Thanks, dig in," Rayne answered looking searchingly at her son.

Nodding Cloud crossed the room and immediately dug into the stew without ceremony. His spoon dug into the bowl over and over again until before he knew it the bowl was empty, and his stomach full. He sat back with a sigh and slouched into his chair to let the food settle.

"You really must have been hungry," Rayne laughed as she raised her own spoon to her lips, the bowl she was eating from still half full.

Silence filled the room before the blond woman broke it again with a question, "Who's Geri and Freki, Cloud?"

"Um, they're wolves that served at Odin's side in Greek mythology," Cloud answered distractedly.

"No, I knew that, don't be deliberately obtuse. Who are the Geri and Freki that Vincent mentioned. Are they your friends?" Rayne replied

"Sort of, I guess they're pets more than anything else though. They live with Vincent," Cloud answered still deliberately being vague.

"I see, and where does he live?" Rayne asked, her eyebrows raised.

"Don't freak out on me, okay?" Cloud replied sighing with resignation.

"Where does he live Cloud," Rayne repeated, her tone growing firm.

"The Shinra Mansion. He's supposed to be there though, don't worry. He was asleep there for a few years in a sort of coma," Cloud answered, "They sort of left him here a while ago. He went to sleep and never woke up until I went in exploring. He didn't mind though I swear."

"Cloud, I told you not to go in there!" Rayne exclaimed.

"But it was fine; I made a friend and he's been teaching me how to defend myself. He was the one who helped me get the rabbits for dinner," Cloud retorted desperately.

"Fine, I won't say anything, but you be careful, you hear me? I don't want to see him come back here carrying you again. My poor heart couldn't take it," Rayne responded shaking her head and getting to her feet to wash the dishes.

"Yes Mom, I love you," Cloud answered in that hard done by tone only children could take with their parents to convey their exasperation.

Heading back to his bed to lay down and resume his sleep he sighed and shook his head in amusement as his mother offered her own 'I love you' sentiments back. Smiling to himself about both his own mood swinging attitude and his mother's foot in mouth tendency he drifted off.

~ 0 ~

On the other side of Nibelhiem Vincent fell into the world of sleep as well. Whilst Cloud was lucky enough to escape his nightmares for the night Vincent wasn't. The ex-Turk was defenceless to his sleeping subconscious and unable to stop himself from living in the world of dream.

_Vincent took a deep breath, the cool air of the Nibel Mountains filling his nose for the first time. He'd never been to this sleepy village before, although others in his team, the __Department of Administrative Research__, had and from what he'd heard they'd liked it well enough._

_Professors Gast, Hojo and Crescent had been back and forth to the location more than a few times with several different Turks over the last few months. He wasn't exactly sure why other than that they were working on the Jenova Project, but that didn't really matter because a good Turk was trained not to question orders no matter how abstract they may sound._

_It was late into the year, winter very definitely setting in and chilling the Turk through his official looking suit. The __Department of Administrative Research or as it was better known, the Turks, wasn't a widely known organization outside of Midgar. There really wasn't much point in him having to wear his uniform here. Really it just set him apart from the rest of the people here._

_Sighing internally and tugging at his jacket thoughtfully he turned to regard his charges. The three scientists had already begun to discuss their current project in low conspiratorial voices. They'd stepped out of the helicopter he'd flown them there in and sudden ground to a chatty halt. Not that he'd really expected them to continue._

_Most of the scientists he'd worked with in the Shinra Corporation had been scattered brained and hopeless towards anything that didn't come with a microscope or a startling new scientific revelation. He had his doubts already that this lot would be any different, especially since the head of the Shinra Scientific Research Division was amongst his charges._

_Quickly filling out his log book on the helicopter and finishing his checklist he nodded to the scientists who had at this point found themselves ready to go. Their breath puffed white clouds as they huddled into the many bundled layers they were wearing._

_Wearing only his Turk uniform and a set of thermals Vincent couldn't help but feel a little jealous at their apparent level of comfort. Immediately they left the chopper behind, Vincent nodding to his former co-pilot as the man waved to him gleefully before taking off and leaving them all behind._

_They made their way to the Shinra Mansion, ignoring the looks they were receiving from the curious villagers who'd been wondering what was going on with the small influx of people over the last few days. Several people had been back and forth from Shinra to replenish all the perishables stored in both the kitchen and the lab._

_The silence was nice on his part, as Vincent entered the large building. His eyes took in the magnificence of the foyer. The urge to snort a laugh bubbled up in him but he ignored it as a useless emotion and left it unuttered. He needed to maintain his professional nature while on assignment where his charges could hear him._

_No sense for the civilians to think he wasn't professional enough, or competent enough to take a bullet for them should he need to. Not that he wanted to, but wants didn't really come into it with this job. He received his orders and then followed them without question as he was ordered. It was really the only thing you could do in his position._

_A Turk either obeyed the rules and followed Shinra's guidance, or they died. End of story._

_Vincent made his way up the steps and into the lab Lucrecia used to occupy. He felt a little confused when Lucrecia wasn't in. For some reason he felt that she should be there. After all, they'd been working on the project for a few weeks now and they were friends._

"_Lucrecia? Hello?" He called into the empty room just in case she was hiding somewhere out of sight._

"_Anybody here?" Vincent called again._

_A glowing terminal screen caught the Turk's eye as his eyes surveyed the room. He wasn't sure why he made his way across the room to regard the terminal, only that he did. His eyes widened at the information on the screen as he scrolled down the screen of text._

_A giant picture of his father dominated the right hand side of the screen. The name Grimoire Valentine proclaimed itself across the top of the wall of text in large bold letters. It was a wonder he hadn't been able to read and understand what it was from the other side of the room._

"_Father?" Vincent whispered quietly to himself, eyes wide._

_His eyes took in the information voraciously as he tried to understand why his father's name was on the screen in front of him. A gasp drew his attention away from the screen and to the girl who he knew should have been inside of the laboratory in the first place._

"_Who's…?" Lucrecia trailed off awkwardly as she stared at the intruder to her lab._

_Vincent whirled around, his expression hurt and confused as he tried to take in the fact that the woman he'd thought of as his friend was looking at information about his father. He wanted to know what the woman knew, and why if she knew anything important at all she was hiding it from him._

"_Lucrecia, this file-" Vincent began only to be cut off abruptly but a desperate looking Lucrecia._

"_It's none of your business," replied the female scientist firmly shaking her head and making her long hair sway as she spoke her vehemence._

"_But it is. Why didn't you tell me you worked with my father?" Vincent asked reaching for Lucrecia's arm, only to have his hand firmly smacked away._

"_Stop it! Just stop it!" Lucrecia snapped, her distress starting to colour her tone._

_The female scientist turned away and sighed, running her fingers through her skirt and smoothing it down thoughtfully before turning back and looking over Vincent's shoulder, unable to face him. She knew that he was in love with her, but she hadn't been able to commit to anything because of his job, and her guilt._

"_I…it was my fault," Lucrecia intoned sadly battling her guilt and remorse in order to keep talking._

_Vincent stepped forward again and made to grab onto Lucrecia again. When she didn't slap his hands away again he gripped her delicate hands in his own supportively. He didn't know what she was talking about, but he was desperate to know._

"_I didn't mean for your father to die. I couldn't…I'm so sorry," Lucrecia sobbed, before breaking free of his grip and running away._

_Illogically the scene changed without reason and the Turk had to watch as Lucrecia embraced Hojo, running into his arms and gripping him firmly in a hug. He felt disgusted looking at the hug, and the need to fun over there and rip her from Hojo's arms and shake some sense into her rose in his chest._

_Only he didn't, he was frozen in place, doomed to watch._

"_So you've come to your senses and chosen me?" Hojo intoned with a smarmy triumphant air._

"_Yes, Doctor," Lucrecia agreed, nodding her head._

_The scene changed again before he was able to step forward and rip the pair apart, twisting and popping into place with a startling suddenness, just as he'd decided to make a move. He found himself face to face with Hojo before he knew what was happening._

"_Is it true?" Vincent asked softly._

"_Is what true?" Hojo asked distractedly completely unconcerned with whatever the Turk wanted to say to him. It wasn't under a microscope therefore it didn't matter._

"_That Lucrecia…that Doctor Crescent is to take part in this project," Vincent answered._

"_It's true," Hojo confirmed in the same careless tone._

_Lucrecia entered the room to look at Vincent, "Why are you so surprised?"_

"_But using your own child in an experiment," Vincent replied in concerned confusion._

_Hojo laughed with a sharp sound before replying__, "__I don't know what you're implying, but both of us are scientists. We know what we are doing."_

_Vincent opened his mouth to reply only to be cut off again by Hojo, "__You are the last person to have any word in this. Now leave us at once, boy!__ "_

"_But," Vincent trailed off uncertainly._

"_But what?" Lucrecia asked, "If you have something to say, say it."_

"_Are you... Are you sure this is what you really want?" Vincent asked hesitantly._

"_Am I sure? Am I sure! If this only concerns me, then yes, I am sure!__" Lucrecia replied with indignant certainty._

"_I just…" Vincent trailed off._

_The world reformed into the lab where Project S took place and Vincent couldn't help but wrinkle his nose as he found himself face to face with Lucrecia again. He both wanted to be here and desperately didn't want to be here for so many more reasons than he could logically explain._

_The chestnut haired beauty was pouting at him delicately, trying to convince him that the experiments needed to continue. Her belly was only a little distended from pregnancy, her baby only a few months old._

_And yet the genetic experiments had already started on the poor unborn child. Lucrecia had agreed to allow Hojo, her husband by this point, to perform invasive experiments on their baby. Vincent just couldn't understand the reasoning or the motivation behind the decision no matter how hard Lucrecia tried to convince him._

_She wore the same clothes she always did, and yet something about her was decidedly off. She just didn't seem right for some weird reason. Her shirt was stretched a little over the burgeoning baby bump that only made her look more delicate and womanly. Perhaps it was the toll the experiment was taking on her._

_There were dark circles under her eyes betraying the sheer amount of hours spent locked in either horrible nightmares or sleepless vigilance each night. She'd spoken to him about these nightmares before. They sounded terrible._

_There was fire in most of them, a horrible consuming fire that engulfed the village of Nibelhiem. A fire that seemed to be set on purpose. Screams filled the air as people were trapped in the fierce inferno, burnt alive in their own homes after they'd settled in for the night._

_And in the midst of those terrible flames and heart rending noises was the worst part of that particular part; the silver haired man. Lucrecia was certain it was her son, the baby boy she was going to call Sephiroth. A name which for some reason he wasn't sure of he didn't like to an irrational degree._

_The silver haired man, Sephiroth, stood in the flames with a cruel smirk on his face as he regarded the death in destruction he'd left in his wake. His eyes shone an acidic mako green as he turned in a rustle of leather and steel and slowly started to walk away. Silver hair trailed through the flames carelessly and yet not a single strand caught fire, as if the fire was afraid of its creator._

_Then the dream changed and Lucrecia was faced with the Cetra creature Jenova. The silver plate body that hid the thing was cast aside in an oily mess on the floor. It lay pooled in the black puddle like a deceased robot laying in its own blood._

_And then she had to look at the blue monster herself. Her own silver hair floated like weeds in the liquid filled tank that was her container. It was illogical that she would be alive, and yet the monsters lips drew back, and her eyes blinked. A smile formed on her lips as she greeted Lucrecia and fawned over their child._

_A scream would rip from the back of the female scientist's throat silently and then the scene would change again to show a giant meteor hurtling towards the planet at a rapid speed. It was so big it shadowed over the sky, and blazed out half the stars at night, making the world shine purple rather than a black gone blue._

_"Please Vincent, just leave it. I don't want to stop these experiments. I can't explain why, but they need to keep going," Lucrecia explained waving her hands around desperately as she spoke._

"_No, I can't just sit here idle while you suffer. This is going to kill you, or drive you insane in the end. It needs to stop," Vincent answered determinedly shaking his head in disagreement, "I'm going to talk to Hojo about it."_

"_No, Vincent-" Lucrecia started only to stop abruptly when Vincent started shaking his head vehemently, deciding that there was no point in continuing to argue with the stubborn Turk since it was clear he was going to do as he wished._

"_I'm sorry," Vincent replied before turning to find himself inside Hojo's lab face to face with the mad scientist._

"_Talk! Why did you let this happen?" Vincent demanded angrily the sheer amount of rage running through his body strange and yet highly inappropriate for this situation. He knew he was mad, but there was no reason to be so angry he was starting to shake with it._

"_Silence," Hojo replied emotionlessly, the only thing colouring his voice mild irritation for the distraction the Turk was posing to his project._

"_You!" Vincent snapped angrily in retort._

"_Silence!" Hojo yells angrily, producing a gun and shooting Vincent in the leg without paying it any further attention leaving Vincent on the floor staring at Hojo's boots in confusion, "Why can't these people just keep quiet?"_

_Vincent's vision began to fade in and out as Hojo's words filtered in in disjointed spouts, "__I can... body... next experiment... a genius... I am... success here... justify... failures...__"_

_Flashes of colour and image crossed through the darkness of Vincent's dream. Then he sees Galian Beasts hands in front of his face. His mouth opens in a soundless scream of horror._

Vincent sat up and looked out the window of the second story bedroom he'd fallen asleep in. As he murmured Lucrecia's name he could have sworn he hear her voice whispering, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," on the wind.

* * *

And scene! Good work Vincent, you really caught the right tone with your angst on that last scene...Vincent? Vincent? Damn it I lost him again! Slippery little Turk. If you review, perhaps Vincent will forgive me for letting you all see his past and come back. Here's hoping; see you guys next chapter.


	7. Wake Up

Hey guys, so I said I would have this done before the end of the week and I did! Yay for me. I'm a little loopy right now I've just started a new medication and it's some kind of relaxant that kind of makes me lose touch with reality a little while I'm getting used to it. This chapter was so hard to write for the first little while but once I hit 2 1/2 thousand words suddenly I hit a sudden wave of inspiration. Here's hoping you guys like it.

Thanks to the reviewer, I forget who at this moment, who pointed out my blunder. Geri and Freki are indeed from Norse mythology not Greek. I hate the way you end up writing what you're hearing sometimes x.x

This weeks title is Wake Up by Three Days Grace.

_**Word Count**; 7000_

_______**Warnings**; I **know** there's bad language in this one, as well as some violence. But it's a final fantasy fic, just learnt to expect it._

_________**Disclaimer**; This story in no way means that I own anything. Except the cake, because it's comepletely and totally a lie and you all know it. So just like the cake, the assumption that I would own anything here is a lie._

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Rewind

Chapter 6

Wake Up

Time passed both like the blink of an eye, and the path of a snail in the sleepy town of Nibelhiem. Life had been quiet and dreamy, a fantasy that parodied reality rather than existed within it. Training kept going every day for the blond, and slowly he was getting better at hiding from the cloaked Turk.

Their training had grown to include things like how to hack an advanced computer system and leave no trace of his venture. He felt relatively confident that at his current level he could hack any standard Shinra mainframe and not find the Turks bearing down on him with deadly force. Not that that wouldn't be a risk with anything he did once he returned to Shinra.

He knew for sure though that it would take him more than a little while longer to learn how to hack both the Turks and Science Laboratory mainframes. Whilst Shinra itself was almost complacent and easy to deal with the high level of suspicion in their two most infamous internal departments made them riskier and harder to hack.

Thanks to Vincent's help Cloud was again proficient in most weapons you'd come across in everyday life, and with that knowledge came a secure sense of self. He was confident in his own body and his abilities in ways that has largely bolstered his confidence and in the eyes of his peers made him stand out even more than he had before coming into his knowledge of past and future events.

His body was constantly growing and adapting; something he'd learnt to account for. A fact he was sure would come in handy later in life when he hit his major growth spurt, not that he'd grow as far as everybody else would; life had already taught him that.

Once his height and build had been a point of embarrassment for him, mostly among his younger cadet years when he was aiming for the SOLDIER program. His slim, weedy frame that just barely cleared the shoulders of so many of his peers at the time had been a comment subject of relentless teasing.

At the time he'd felt horrendously embarrassed by the whole thing, but now he'd lived such an overwhelmingly difficult life and seen all the world had to offer he wouldn't be able to react the same way. His height and tone had served him well in all his endeavours later in life.

Especially that one time when he'd had to infiltrate Don Corneo's place in order to save Tifa and he'd had to pretend to be a woman to get inside. The resulting shenanigans had been more than a little embarrassing. To this day he still wasn't sure how he'd felt about letting Aerith talk him into doing that in the first place.

Thankfully in this time it had never happened, and if he had his way it was one of many things that never would.

A grin split his face as the growling mewl of his pups were heard. They'd steadily grown big, and by his estimation must have been a little over a year old by this point in his life. They were eager to see him, roaming around the outside of the Shinra mansion the way they'd learnt to do.

At first the villagers had been shocked to see his pets hanging around so close to town, but when they found the two animals to be mostly domesticated they'd learnt to accept them. After all, the last thing any of them really wanted was to tangle with an irate pair of wolves who so readily followed the bidding of their master.

Cloud was their master, but more than that he was figuratively the puppies' mother. He'd provided for them most of their lives, and when they'd grown old enough and strong enough to take care of themselves then he'd taken them outside and taught them to hunt.

Vincent seemed fairly certain they'd defend him to their deaths.

Crouching down in the snow and opening his arms Cloud allowed the two wolf puppies to bowl him over. Their furry bodies nuzzled and crushed him at the same time. Two rough tongues reached out and slurped happily across his face in gleeful greeting.

Laughter spilled with good natured amusement from his lips as he regarded his two pets. They showed him such love and devotion, that they helped fill a hole inside he hadn't entirely been aware of up until they'd been there. And more than he could communicate to his two fluffy beasts he appreciated it.

Every day he was greeted the same way by his two favourite hooligans. And every day their greeting was one of the pure delights of his day. Their uncompromising love given so freely and joyously was infectious and heart-warming. It made him feel good to be shown such love by the two creatures he'd raised.

"Hello Geri, hello Freki," Cloud greeted, laughter in his voice, "Did you miss me?"

Almost as if they could understand his words the two wolves gave a warbling howl of what seemed to be agreement. Reaching a hand up to each of them he then proceeded to pet the two wolves behind their ears happily. Their affectionate nature couldn't help but coax an amused and content grin out of the blond.

Finally sick of all the attention Cloud laughed and began to shoo the two puppies away, "Alright, alright. Time to get off now kids. Today's an important day, and I have important things to do. As much as I would love to hang around here all day and play with you."

Panting, their tongues lolling out of their mouths the two wolves backed off and sat and their haunches in the snow. The dusting was light, a small heat snap come late in the fall, nearing winter months.

Getting to his feet and brushing the light coating of snow off of his clothes, Cloud smiled at his two pets. He didn't know what he'd do with them when it came time for him to leave Nibelhiem, after all the two pets were huge. There was no way he could take them with him, but at the same time he didn't just want to abandon them and leave them behind on their own.

Only time would determine exactly what would happen for sure in the future. He could plot and plan until he was blue in the face, but until he was actually about to take action he'd never know for sure. Until then he was determined to love them and take care of them as he could.

Giving his pets a final pat on the head; he left the snow on the outskirts of the Shinra Mansion and made his way inside and into the foyer. Cocking his head to the side and listening intently Cloud managed to pinpoint where Vincent would be. That and a little help from his knowledge of the cloaked gunman's routine.

He'd arrived earlier to the Shinra Mansion than he normally would. After all, there was a good reason he was already here and waiting. Today was a very special day for him; it was his sixth birthday. He wasn't sure if Vincent knew that, more than likely his old friend did knowing his information hoarding Turk ways, but had no intention at all of saying anything about it.

And there was no way Cloud was going to let Vincent get away with that, not this year. This year's birthday would be their last together for some time. The Wutai War would start mere weeks from now, and that would leave Vincent open to return to the Shinra Corporation.

It was both a risk and a point of safety. He knew for a fact that once the war was over the Turks took good care of their own and were much less lenient towards Hojo and the way's which Veld had let Hojo hold then captive. If the ex-Turk could make it that long then he'd be able to fulfil his purpose in Cloud's plan.

He unfortunately couldn't join the Shinra Corporation again after the war. Vincent needed to infiltrate and make his way back up the ranks during the war, so that by the time the original AVALANCHE debacle happened his place would be solid. It was a risk, but a risk that had to be taken.

Not that of course he'd run this plan by Vincent yet, now wasn't the time. However after his birthday they were going to have to have a chat about the future. Then, that would be the time to come clean.

Following the winding steps up and out of the foyer, Cloud made his way into the room with the secret panel. As he'd known it would be the room was devoid of any personality, and Vincent was nowhere to be seen. Shaking his head he descended the steps in tightly looped spirals until his feet again met the distant floor.

The muffled sound of his footsteps echoed in distorted sounds around the corridors as he made his way through the empty space. Stepping as lightly as he could Cloud reduced his sound to almost nothing even to his mako enhanced ears. With a small smirk he made his way into the library where he'd known Vincent would be.

The door swung open soundlessly, a fact he was constantly confused yet grateful for. Poking his head out from behind the frame Cloud regarded the room suspiciously. And there he was; Vincent Valentine sitting at a desk, his head buried in one of Hojo's many log books and research journals left there specifically for Sephiroth to find years later.

Prick.

Slowly and silently he made his way into the room, tip toeing closer to his unaware mentor until he was close enough to reach out and touch him, "Hello Cloud, you're early," Vincent muttered distractedly causing Cloud to jump in fright.

"Damn it, I thought I had you that time. I swear you didn't know I was there when I came in," Cloud replied with slight frustration. Chances of catching Vincent unaware were only a little under 50/50.

"Perhaps I might have, but you made a mistake which alerted me to your presence. What was it?" Vincent asked not even looking up from his book.

Cloud glanced around the room for anything he might have missed. He knew he hadn't made any sound by knocking something over, or misplacing anything. He hadn't spoken, and left his breathing in a low controlled rate that would be harder to hear. He'd lifted his feet so as not to scuffle on the floor.

Then blue eyes finally focused on the end of the room. In his haste to enter without being seen he'd made an elementary mistake. He'd left the door open and allowed both the air to shift and alert his friend, but for his spatial awareness to be disrupted.

"I left the door open," Cloud answered with more than a hint of frustration in his voice.

"And you don't do that why?" Vincent asked distractedly his eyes finally coming up from the book to glance at the blond.

"Leaving the door open will allow the air shift and change, and with people who have a high spatial awareness like a Turk or a high class soldier they could sense the change and I'll draw their attention," Cloud parroted just as he had been taught.

"Very good," Vincent replied reaching a hand up to his hair to brush aside the loose bangs that had fallen askew into his vision.

He knew that his mentor and one time good friend was more than a little curious about the fact that he'd arrived at the mansion far earlier than he normally would. The signs were there, and when you knew how to read the normally stoic and almost blank looking ex-Turk it was quite easy. At least in his opinion at the very least; Tifa and Yuffie had never quite picked up the subtle art.

Vincent only touched the bangs over his face when he was thinking, the act taking up time inconspicuously and giving him enough time to think before having to reply. He also cocked his head to the right hand side a few degrees when he was buried in thought; a barely perceptible movement to most, that he'd only noticed because of his paranoia.

"I know you're probably curious about why I'm here so early. And I know that even though you don't want to admit or show it but it's killing you," Cloud said an amused smile dominating his face and colouring his sky blue eyes.

"Hmmm," Vincent replied noncommittally, unwilling to really deign to answer the statement, because realistically in some ways what Cloud was saying was true.

"Well, as you probably already know today is my sixth birthday," Cloud continued with a darkly amused feline smirk.

He knew that Vincent was going to hate the idea of attending a birthday party for a five, gone six, year old. Especially the fact that parties usually mean large groups of people gathering in one garishly uniform place.

"Yes," Vincent replied nodding his head sharply in agreement.

"My mother is throwing a birthday party for me with a few of our closest friends. We'd both like it if you could come to the party. It's later today; when we're done here we can go back to my house together. We can give my Mom a hand," Cloud replied with a grin knowing that he was forcing Vincent into a corner with his words.

Vincent opened his mouth and looked like he was going to protest in some way or form, "She wants me to think she can do everything without me, but I know she can't. She won't let me help her with much, but if you offered her a hand then perhaps she would sit down for a minute or two and rest. She's been up since dawn making things for today. She's going to give herself an aneurism at this rate."

"Cloud-" Vincent began only to be cut off by the look on Cloud's face.

"Please?" Cloud asked making his own attempt at the famous 'puppy dog eyes' that Zack Fair had been so good at. He didn't have the bouncy nature and attractive looks that had been the staple of the look, so that when the abundant smile fell the abuser felt that much worse about things.

Unable to disagree with both the argument and the look his student had given him Vincent gave into the idea of helping out around the house for Cloud's party. He didn't have anything else he'd find more important to do, and his conscience wouldn't let him ignore the needs of a kind woman such as Ms Strife.

"Fine," Vincent answered nodding his head softly in resigned agreement.

Grinning Cloud nodded too, reaching out a hand to Vincent to help him get to his feet, instinctively using the hand that would sync up with the cloaked gunman's un-gloved hand without thought. With a raised eyebrow Vincent took the hand that was offered and shifted fluidly to his feet to help Cloud train.

Silently, the lack of speech and communication completely confortable, Cloud and Vincent made their way out of the depths of the Shinra Mansion. They'd progressed past being able to train inside the manor after the first few weeks. The lack of space inside the foyer area's restrictiveness being both helpful to some of their training, but at the same time a hindrance to other parts of their work.

Swiftly and efficiently Cloud retrieved their pack full of equipment from the small locked chest in the foyer of the mansion. There was probably no reason for them to need to lock the box; after all who would enter the 'haunted' Shinra Mansion. Still previous experiences on both their parts had taught them their lessons.

Most specifically Cloud who'd actually had his materia taken more than once; both by the 'great ninja' Yuffie, and most recently by Loz, Kadaj, and Yazoo in his past life when they'd taken his entire chest of materia. The feeling of being powerless because of his own stupidity had clearly never left him, and he always left everything neat, tidy and secure.

When they'd made their way to the clearing that had become the customary home for their training efforts Cloud unloaded the pack full of stuff onto the ground delicately. Knowing the drill well by this point he immediately turned to the middle of the clearing and began to work on his kata. The drills were a useful and soothing method to help him perfect his techniques while warming up and stretching.

Mentally he counted each move off in his head, naming them as he moved through them to help him remember a move on command at later points in his training. When he'd moved through all his basic kata's at a speed more common to tai chi than normal martial arts he relaxed into his casual stance waiting for a clue on what to do.

Vincent nodded, "Very good," the vampire nodded in approval as he studied his relaxed and content student, "We're going to be working on staff work today."

Nodding Cloud moved to their pack of supplies and removed the two collapsible staves hidden amongst their things. Slotting the sticks together and twisting them into place Cloud handed one over to his mentor happily.

While it wasn't a sword, his natural weapon of choice, it was still something that he could really enjoy. His body and relished the harsh passion he had to exert to be proficient in any physical activity he engaged in. The endorphins inside his body sung sweetly of happiness and adrenaline as he twirled his staff idly in relaxed expectation.

Suddenly the fight was on in a clash of metal on metal. With a little effort Cloud was able to take the swift harsh blow Vincent threw at him, stepping back and to the left allowing the staff to ghost harmlessly to his right at thin air. With a twist Cloud attempted to use the same momentum to keep Vincent off balance and at the same time land a harmful blow.

In a way he was successful, he was able to land the blow, but Vincent was able to regain both his balance and footing by the time he'd dealt the move. The pain of the hit flashed across the crimson eyes of his mentor momentarily before it was pushed to the recesses of the ex-Turk's mind for the end of the battle.

A thoughtful hum was the only recognition the blond received in reply to his well-timed, well executed move. A hum that he was so used to receiving in lieu of proper praise that he couldn't help the momentary smile that split his lips distracting him until a mild hit grazed his side warningly.

"Don't let yourself become cocky or distracted Cloud," Vincent intoned, his voice managing to be both monotone and disapproving at the same time. A skill he wasn't sure outside of Sephiroth he'd ever seen on another person.

Nodding Cloud apologized for his juvenile error and raised his weapon again, focusing his mind solely on what they were doing and blocking out all useless influences. His mind was blank of everything but the natural rhythm of the situation until finally there was nothing left they could do any more for the day with combat training.

Relaxing, breathing pattering slowing and regulating again the pair of them finishing off a couple kata side by side for their cool down. With the help of mako enhancements and extreme flexibility there wasn't a serious need for them to do a large cool down for anything other than bringing their heart rates down.

"Nice work today," Vincent acknowledged before turning to head back to the mansion, leaving Cloud behind to pick up the training supplies he'd emptied onto the ground earlier in the day. He hadn't originally intended to spend that many hours sparring with Cloud but he'd become so caught up in the situation he'd allowed it to go on longer than intended running out of time for much else.

~ 0 ~

It was late in the afternoon by the time Cloud and Vincent made their way into the Strife house together. Both were fully washed and clothed, Cloud having brought clothes with him to wear after the training session and Vincent being lucky enough to fit some clothes he'd found lying around.

In recognition of the auspicious event he'd allowed the blond to manipulate him into taking off his battle leathers for a wash and pulling on a casual suit like attire.

The dress shirt was perhaps a little tighter on him than it had likely been on its original owner. The crisp white cotton garment was nearly store fresh the only fact that had really convinced him to don the item.

His hair was still pushed back with his crimson head band, but he'd run across a brush in the mansion and had quickly run the implement painfully through his far too long tresses carefully. He'd never had his hair longer than shoulder length in shaggy layers until his time in the coffin had forced him to go without a haircut so long.

The golden gauntlet on his hand was unable to be removed, the wickedly sharp weapon also doubling as a mostly functional hand as well as a fighting implement. It made the look a little bit bizarre but then so did the boots Vincent had refused to change as well.

Then there were the black slacks that almost felt like they were a pair from his old uniform. Which knowing Hojo and the cheapness of Shinra sometimes was more than a little likely. If the pants had been his to begin with then he wasn't sure where the rest of his uniform; the shirt, blazer and tie had gotten to.

Cloud had cleaned up well himself, his unruly blond locks refusing to do anything but spike haphazardly but adding a unique edge to his otherwise tame look. He'd pulled on his own pair of slack-like pants, the black cotton stiff and a little scratchy from the newness. Add to that the sky blue dress shirt his mother had gotten to match his eyes and he was far from his normal cargo adorned self.

And he didn't like it.

When the pair stepped into the house and greeted Rayne she replied happily before turning back in a double take. Shock coloured her features as she turned away from the frantic cooking she'd been doing previously. Her sky blue eyes were widened and her mouth shaped in a small oval.

"My, don't you two clean up well. I'm glad to see you came Vincent, we had such a nice chat the last time you were here I'd rather hoped to see you again to talk about Cloud. And you look so nice, not that you don't normally it's just different," Rayne gasped stumbling over her words as she tried to keep track of what she was saying.

It wasn't that she thought in any way that there would be any chance of a future relationship between them, not that she didn't think he was handsome in whatever he was wearing but he seemed like a man consumed and she herself knew that feeling with Cloud's father.

"Thank you Ms Strife, glad to be here. May I offer you a hand?" Vincent asked graciously, if not somewhat awkwardly trying to take the focus off his looks.

"Oh no, I simply couldn't ask you to help me with anything. I'm nearly done now, just a few things to hang outside and then it's just setting the tables for everyone," Rayne replied shaking her head.

"I insist, you go get yourself ready, I can set the table and Cloud can watch the food in the oven," Vincent replied shooing the woman to her side of the room where a pretty blue dress was laid out on the bed.

Vacating the house and heading to the small table set under a canvas shelter Vincent laid out the table cloth on the wooden table. All the cutlery settings and napkins were sitting right there waiting so he didn't have to worry about much other than making sure everything was straight.

Thankfully there were only the standard sets of cutlery to set, not the ridiculous amount he'd seen at some on Shinra's parties while on guard duty as a Turk. Although Ms Strife had said that there was only a few of their closest friends coming to the party, there appeared to be enough settings there for most of the town to attend.

Perhaps in a small town in Nibelhiem everyone was considered a close friend. It would make sense, after all when you were snowed into a town with no new comers for 60 percent of the year who else were you stuck trading with all the time other than your neighbours.

Sighing Vincent stood back and surveyed his work. The table wasn't fabulous; he couldn't do any of those fancy swan napkins or anything, but it was good enough for a six year olds party. A party he was starting to feel rather apprehensive about.

There was no way after Cloud had asked so pleadingly for him to come to his birthday party that he would have been able to say no to his student. At first he'd been a little suspicious of Cloud's motives and secrets, but as they'd trained together and he'd gotten to more of the blond headed child he'd come realise that however long it took to find out the truth he'd wait.

In the meantime he trusted the boy until he proved otherwise. Why, he wasn't sure, it seemed to be an instinct deep down inside of him that cried 'friend' from the moment they'd met. Which was ridiculous because he didn't need friends, didn't make friends, and yet when he thought about it he realised that was exactly in his head the way he'd categorized Cloud for some time.

Just getting to know Cloud had made his life more difficult than he would like to admit. He knew that the boy had some kind of plan involving his future that would help him bring down both Shinra and Hojo. More than anything he wanted to know what it was; what this boy he'd only known for a short time was planning to do with his life.

Yet Cloud wouldn't tell him, only saying every time he asked that Vincent just had to be patient a little longer, that they still had time before he had to place that burden on Vincent too. Cloud had been more and more fidgety the last few weeks heading towards his birthday, as if the day was some kind of marker for him. It'd put him on edge too, there were so many things he could have been anticipating but only one he wished to hear.

He hoped once this event was over, the next time they trained together that Cloud would give him the truth of the situation. That he'd finally hear the plans and know what the next step was; his instincts told him that some time in the next few weeks Cloud would come forward with the details.

The question was, would he like what he heard and would he still being willing to go through with everything when the truth came forth. A sigh passed his lips as he thought about it and resigned himself to further patience and waiting.

~ 0 ~

Cloud watched the oven in rapt concentration; he knew that at any moment the food would be done and he'd have to pull it out. No doubt his mother had gone completely overboard again, as she did every year planning for this event. She stored recipes and gift ideas in her head all year long in anticipation of his birthday party.

Sometimes he wasn't sure who this party was really for, him or his mother? She seemed to get more out of it than him, but then some of the shine had been taken off with the knowledge that he'd had more than a few birthdays in the past already. Not that he didn't like birthdays they just weren't as special as he knew they were supposed to be to him.

The one thing he loved though about birthday parties, more than anything else; not the gifts, or the praise, or the decorations. He loved the cake. It was his one guilty pleasure. The sweetness that at any other time of the year he wouldn't allow himself to indulge in was the only thing he really looked forward to.

Even when he'd been well over the age of 20 in his previous life he hadn't been able to stop himself from craving that one day for cake. Tifa had teased him relentlessly for it in the Seventh heaven on the last birthday they'd celebrated together.

She'd laughed and joked asking him what kind of all-powerful warrior eats nothing but nails and bolts all year quite contentedly but the moment his birthday rolls around becomes a slave to sugary sweets. She'd meant it in the most affectionate teasing way then, even if he'd been a little irritated at the time, but now he wished she was here to say it again.

Only she was here, she just couldn't remember and every time he talked to her she only wanted to play with him. It sucked, and there was no one he could complain to about it, except maybe soon he could tell Vincent before he sent his mentor and friend away to one of the most dangerous jobs on the planet.

With a sigh Cloud pulled the tray of pies from the oven and placed it quickly on the bench to cool, throwing the cooling cloth over it so it wouldn't have flies land on it while he took the rest of the food out to the table. The guests would be arriving soon, and he needed to paste his smile on and be ready for them. Irrelevant of how much he didn't like large groups of people, much like Vincent.

For his mother.

Gathering trays of assorted foods into his arms Cloud turned and looked at his mother standing there smoothing down her blue dress and blonde hair. Luckily for her life had been kind enough to spare the wild unruly spikes her son had. Which was totally unfair in his opinion.

"Well, how do I look Cloud?" Rayne asked nervously her face screwed up a little in trepidation as she waited for the verdict. She just knew she looked like she was wearing clown make up, and that this dress made her look old and frumpy.

"You look nice Mom," Cloud answered with a smile placing the trays of food back onto the bench.

"Really, you're not just saying that because I'm your Mom and all children have to tell their parents they look good so they don't get grounded for the rest of their lives?" Rayne asked her eyes wide.

Cloud laughed, he could so see where he got the wildly off topic nervous monologue trait from. He'd never known anyone to other than them to come up with such elaborate constructs to reason things away. It was the only reason in his past life he'd managed to survive so long; but then again it was the reason he'd died too.

"No, I'm not lying to make you feel better so I'm not grounded for life. We both know I'd drive you nuts in two seconds flat anyway. You really do look nice, okay Mom?" Cloud asked with an amused grin shaking his head before heading over to his mother for a hug.

"Thanks," Rayne replied pulling back to grin at Cloud deviously, "Now take the food out to the table, the guests will start arriving at any moment."

"Yes Mom," Cloud replied rolling his eyes and moving to get the trays of food again from the bench laughing as an 'I saw that' was yelled out of the house after him.

Joining Vincent outside at the table he grinned as he took in the work the ex-Turk had done. The tables were nicely set up, the table cloth down, cutlery laid out and even the buffet table was ready to have the food placed on it.

"Thanks for helping Vincent, Mom and I really appreciate it. She won't admit it but she's been stressing about getting all this done for the last few days now," Cloud said smiling and nodding his thanks to his friend as he moved past him to place the two trays on the table.

"You're welcome; do you still need a hand?" Vincent asked softly turning to look at Cloud curiously, thoughts still running rife through his head.

"If you don't mind there are a couple trays on the bench in the kitchen that need to be brought out to the table. If you could put them on the buffet table that would be great," Cloud replied with a smile setting up the dipping sauces for the finger foods.

"Hmmm," Vincent replied turning around and heading back inside to gather together the aforementioned food.

When he was done Cloud made his way back into the house to grab what should be the last of the food for dinner. After some thought they'd decided to make his birthday party an evening thing, because with most people in Nibelhiem working long hours during the day it meant more people could come.

As he entered the house he overheard the end of the conversation Vincent was having with his mother assuring her that she looked nice. Having already said his piece to his mother earlier he couldn't help but laugh as he entered the kitchen.

"Are you trying to embarrass Vincent Mom?" Cloud asked grinning with amusement as he took the last few trays from the bench shaking his head at the bewildered Vincent. The poor man looked like the whole conversation had gone over his head. Clearly he wasn't as suave with the ladies as everyone had always assumed he'd be.

Laughing Cloud nodded his head towards the door, "Come on Vincent we need to get the last of the food on the table. I think I hear someone coming already."

Thankful for the escape from the awkward situation Vincent left the house and gratefully made his way back to the tables where indeed there were a few people taking seats languidly. His mouth twitched slightly at the corners and what passed into the category of a smile for him passed over his lips momentarily as he watched Cloud make friends among his guests.

"Happy Birthday Cloud," Tifa smiled, pulling the older blond into a hug happily her face abloom with a joyful grin. She liked Cloud, enjoyed his company even, and wished that he was around to play more. He was one of the few children in town that was anywhere close to his age. For a mere handful of months they were the same age during the gap from May 3 to August 11.

"Thanks Tifa, I'm glad you could make it," Cloud replied hugging the wine eyed girl back with a tenacity that he might not have if he'd not felt so homesick only an hour and some earlier.

The small backyard dusted with snow and cluttered with tables and assorted other items of furniture filled up rapidly. Guests continued to arrive, in mass clumps and streams once he'd greeted Tifa and her two parents the Mayor of Nibelhiem and his wife.

Aside from bringing brightly wrapped presents that they quickly laid upon the gift table with what his mother had put out, many people arrived with a dish of food to add to the table. Bowls and platters were constantly being arranged and rearranged to accommodate the vastly over catered event.

When everyone was seated and all the guests had arrived the real party began. Loud chattering groups gossiped readily over the softly playing music to which many people danced in tight abrupt movements hindered by the lack of space. And most of all people ate, consuming mass amounts as large groups were wont to do at any type of highly catered social event.

Laughter and happiness was abundant in a way that made Cloud feel both part of the rush and bustle in a way he hadn't since the last few days he'd passed in Edge with the kids, crushed into their tiny bar during rush hour, and distant from it.

With wide eyes Cloud turned around at the sudden hush in the room as his mother made an appearance at the edge of their property; in her arms a giant birthday cake alit with six candles. A smile formed, drawing itself across his lips delicately as a path cleared towards him and the table he was sitting at.

Singing filled the yard loudly and off key as his mother placed the cake before him;

"Happy Birthday to you,

Happy Birthday to you,

Happy Birthday dear Cloud,

Happy Birthday to you."

Cloud laughed as they started to count out his six 'hip hip hoorays'. It wouldn't have been so funny, but the look on Vincent's face a combination of bewildered discomfort and awkwardness made hysteria build up in his throat until he was gasping for breath.

Barely able to breathe he attempted to blow out his candles, mostly succeeding, although the odd looks he received did nothing but make him laugh more. The cake was cut and swiftly handed out and consumed; Cloud especially consuming three large slices before being cut off by his mother.

Then the large pile of presents was addressed, most of it home made as was the custom in the slightly poor town of Nibelhiem. The list of things he received went on and on; from coats to home made weapons from the local forge.

The most surprising and treasured gift however came from Vincent, who gave him a small silver gun. Of course that was given to him covertly when he left to go to the bathroom part way through unwrapping his gifts so as not to shock anyone.

The detail on it was finely crafted and clearly a much cared for creation. He had a feeling Vincent knew what was coming soon and had given him the gift as an acknowledgement of the fact that he'd have to keep practising on his own once his mentor was gone.

With a smile Cloud thanked everyone, and slowly the party diffused until it was just Vincent, Cloud and Rayne left behind to clean up the remains of the celebration. Working in comfortable silence they disassembled the remains of the birthday party and when that was done they stood in silence for a moment.

"Thanks for coming Vincent, I'll leave you two to say goodnight," Rayne said with a smile, waving goodbye and heading into the house for the night.

Silence reigned for a moment before Cloud spoke up, "Thanks for coming tonight, I'm sorry you felt really awkward most of the time you were here. You really should have eaten something though, I know you don't need to eat to live, but you might have felt more comfortable. The cake was really nice."

"I noticed," Vincent replied with his best effort of a joke.

Cloud snorted getting and appreciating Vincent's attempt at humour, "Yes well, I like cake. But only my own birthday cake. It's my one weakness,"

Cloud laughed looking around shiftily, "Shhhh don't tell anyone! Anyway I'll see you tomorrow for training. I think it's time we had a chat about what we're going to do with my plan for Shinra. The time's nearly come to start acting out my plans."

"Hmmm," Vincent hummed thoughtfully in reply; he wasn't at all surprised by the statement. He'd known the time was nearly upon them hence Cloud's birthday gift. He'd wanted to give the boy something he'd like but hadn't thought a sword would be wise at this early stage in his life when he'd outgrow anything he was given.

"Thanks for the gun Vincent, I love it," Cloud replied turning to head back towards the house silently.

"Night Cloud," Vincent replied disappearing swiftly into the night.

* * *

So that's it from me, hope you enjoyed the fluff because it isn't something I tend to do very often. I know Cloud enjoyed it. Thanks for all the wonderful reviews I received, they really helped me to get this chapter done, and motivated me every time I started to struggle. R & R if you can, I'll love you forever!


	8. Sing

Hey guys, sorry it took me so long to update. This chapter totally kicked my ass; no matter what I did I just didn't like it and it didn't want to be written. Between writing issues, heavy work load at course, and damn near non stop fundraising for first course, then cancer, then the Christchurch earthquake I've been so busy this is what I'm left with. I still don't like this chapter, I understand if you don't either so no worries if you feel the need to review and scream obscenities at me in revenge. I can take it.

All my thoughts go out to those in the Christchurch earthquake here in New Zealand. I'm grateful I live in Auckland, and when I fly to Christchurch this weekend I'll definitely have you all in my thoughts. I hope all of you who read this are safe and well, as are your family members and loved ones.

PS - If you already got an alert about this then sorry, I changed it because there was a mistake.

This weeks title is Sing by My Chemical Romance.

_**Word Count**; 6,000_

_______**Warnings**; I don't think there's anything in here to be aware of but the angst level really. But it's a final fantasy fic, just learnt to expect the worst._

_________**Disclaimer**; I own nothing, except all the things I'm grateful to have the others don't right now. Although I kind of wish final fantasy was one of them._

* * *

**Rewind**

**Chapter 7**

**Sing **

Cloud opened his eyes wearily as he greeted the much awaited day. It was the day he had to tell Vincent what was going on. He knew that he couldn't divulge all his plans; that would ruin the effect completely.

No the only one who was to have true knowledge of the full scope of things was Cloud himself. He would only be able to tell the bulk of his past and some of his plans in order to gain the ex-Turks full trust. Assuming of course that Vincent deigned to believe him at all.

And yet somehow he had to tell Vincent what was going on in a simple and briefly factual way. He was asking a lot of the gunman who had slowly become his friend again. He knew he was, but when he and Vincent had finished their little chat then perhaps light would be shed on some things and he would be willing to go along with the plan.

A sigh passed Cloud's lips, a sigh of both relief and remorse. So many little things had led up to this moment. Had built upon each other in a complex and yet insanely simple way for this moment to come to pass.

And yet for all that this had been a long way in coming, and really he'd known it always had to happen, he wasn't quite ready for it.

He didn't want to say goodbye to both the friend he knew, and the friend he'd gained. But sometimes life wasn't fair, as he'd well learned. As they'd both learned really. And things sometimes just had to be done whether you wanted to or not.

Rayne's head came into Cloud's field of vision all of a sudden. Blonde locks draping down and ticking his nose as she smiled down at her son. It was almost as if she knew he was having a mental war with himself and was determined to help him get through it with her own special brand of humour.

"Good morning sleepy head, having a good day dream there, or do you plan on getting up some time in the foreseeable future. I've put pancakes on the table for you for breakfast, they're buttermilk too which we both know are your favourite. It's even a nice day outside, so you're going to have a wonderful day of exercise. Cheer up emo kid," Rayne laughed with a smile.

Cloud snorted and burst into laughter, "Excuse me, where on earth did you hear that saying Mom?"

"What did I say it wrong? Hmmm, I was sure that was what that magazine said…" Rayne replied trailing off thoughtfully.

Cloud laughed and shook his head. Of course his mother had picked up a silly phrase like 'cheer up emo kid' from one of her terrible magazines. For all that the woman couldn't even entertain the idea of leaving Nibelhiem she certainly was obsessed with all the latest gossip and information in stupid papers like Midgar Teen Weekly.

"Yes Mom, that is indeed how I would say it. However you can't say it that way, in fact you can't say it at all. It's just wrong, so from now on when you see a strange quote in one of your papers perhaps you should just forget you ever saw it. I'm kind of embarrassed for you now, god." Cloud replied covering his face with his hands and shaking his head in mortified amusement.

"Fine then, you just don't want your Mom to be too cool and steal all your friends," Rayne replied with a pout shaking her head in agreement.

"Of course Mom, that's it, I don't want you to steal all the multitudes of friends I have lining up at the door every day to hang out," Cloud replied sardonically.

"Well then, perhaps I'll just have to steal Vincent from you," Rayne replied hands going to her hips defensively, her face falling as Cloud suddenly became saddened.

"You could if he wasn't leaving soon," Cloud answered dejectedly.

"Aww, my poor baby is losing his first friend. Is that why you didn't want to get up this morning? But you know, if you stay in bed you'll lose all the time you have left with him won't you. Best to get up, eat your breakfast and pull yourself up by your bootstraps," Rayne replied shaking her head as she spoke.

"Take what you have left and enjoy it Cloud, don't let yourself mourn something before it's even gone. And when it is, then at least you can say you made the most of it," Rayne continued, stepping back and looking away thoughtfully.

"Hmm, I guess," Cloud replied nodding slightly.

"He isn't…It doesn't have anything to do with Shinra going to Wutai does it? Midgar Teen Weekly did a piece on the hot new soldiers heading into a new division for it. Is Vincent going to go off and become a soldier like you wanted to be?" Rayne asked cocking her head a little with rampant curiosity.

"No, he isn't going to become a soldier for Shinra. He's going to work in the Administrative Research Division," Cloud replied, knowing that his mother wouldn't know what that really was since outside of Midgar the Turks weren't that well known.

"I see, well good for him then," Rayne replied nodding her head.

"What did you mean when you said that Shinra was in Wutai?" Cloud asked his mind suddenly seizing on a former conversation piece.

"Oh, there's a piece on our glorious conquest to be in Midgar Teen Weekly, it's on the table if you want to read it," Rayne replied crossing the room to where the coat rack was and pulling on her coat with a smile.

"Thanks Mom, have a nice day," Cloud replied getting out of bed and crossing the room to pull his mother into a tight hug.

The hug was tight and intense for a brief few moments as mother and son attempted to convey all the things they felt for each other in one simple touch. And then with a soft sigh of content the moment was over and both of them pulled back to smile at each other tenderly.

Their love was felt.

"Goodbye Cloud, you have a nice day too. Don't let the little things get you down okay, things happen for a reason and while we can't always appreciate that now there will come a time when you'll be glad you had Vincent for as long as you did," Rayne answered with a smile moving to step out of the door.

"I promise I'll try," Cloud replied with a gentle smile and a wave.

"Good luck Cloud," Rayne called moving over the door step and down the street to meet with her friends and get some work done.

Sighing to himself Cloud muttered under his breath, "Easy for you to say, you don't have to have the talk of impending doom with a demonically infused genetically enhanced ex-Turk with a sadistic streak and a grudge."

Settling down at the table Cloud pulled his breakfast of buttermilk pancakes across the surface towards him and grinned as he cut a piece free and popped it into his mouth. His mother always knew just what to do to pull him out of one of his little ruts; the little ones at least.

Once his plate was empty and his belly full he climbed to his feet and made his way to the sink where a few dishes lay. Filling the small tub with warm water and soap he cleaned all the dishes so his mother wouldn't have to worry about it when she got home, and placed the cleaned items away.

When that was done he made his way back to the kitchen table and again took his seat, pulling the Midgar Teen Weekly Magazine towards him. He was almost afraid what he was going to find in the propaganda controlled paper.

Flicking through page after page of useless information about what celebrity was wearing what, which colour make up would suit his skin tone best and what kind of fortune he was going to have Cloud finally stopped. It was clear in a single glance that this was the page he wanted. The headline just leapt off the page.

'SHINRA'S GLORY TO SPREAD TO WUTAI: SHINRA'S NEW DIVISION AND THE FUTURE OF OUR ILLUSTRIOUS COUNTRY.'

Snorting with amused scorn Cloud carried on reading the news article;

**The Shinra Corporation has recently announced the news that not only have they created a new division inside of their general army populace, but their intent to help Wutai.**

**The small continent, long a back water country without the aid of modern advancements that make our lives comfortable here is to receive our help. Platoons of soldiers have already begun their trip to Wutai to deliver gifts of modern medicine and electronics.**

**The first wave of aid will be making their way to Wutai this week. We expect our workers to land on the coast and make their way to the main city of Wutai Village next Thursday. Once there they'll make contact with the ruler, Lord Godo Kisaragi.**

**In light of the loss of some of our peace keepers Shinra had further news to share, the electric company issuing a statement about their new division. **

**Long a work in progress inside the populace of the general army, a few elite soldiers had until this point been the only ones to receive the title SOLDIER. The SOLDIER division we've been informed is a genetically enhanced high level soldier in a division a step above standard militia.**

**With the loss of some of our forces overseas to help the Wutai populace the ranks of SOLDIER are being opened up officially to all those who make the cut.**

**Current membership numbers are currently at a slim number of 15 SOLDIERS and with recent developments they're looking to recruit more.**

**Requirements for this program include a mandatory one year minimum training service in the specialty SOLDIER training program, as well as a high level of tolerance to the chemical substance Mako.**

**Many of you may, at his point be confused, as a large number of us deal with the idea of Mako on a daily basis as our power source. In fact while we may not notice it, here in Midgar a great deal of us even live right next door to the famous substance.**

**While sources have yet to confirm it, it is our understanding that a special chemical compound of the substance made by Shinra's Doctor Hojo is used to enhance the SOLDIER's.**

**From the sounds of things, the future is bright for our planet, and with the addition of a brand new special task force to keep us safe from all the dangers out there we can all sleep easier at night. Perhaps your boyfriend might even wish to become one of our futures greatest defences.**

**The SOLDIER program officially opens to the male public in three weeks, with the first training session opening only a week later. We hope to see all of Midgar's hottest bachelors there on the day.**

As his eyes hit the bottom of the page Cloud found himself suddenly unable to contain it anymore, the whole thing was ludicrous. Laughter burst from his lips, hysterical and uncontrolled, and he was unable to stop it.

If only the public knew that the only reason the program had recently gone public was because they'd only just stopped the mutations caused by too much mako. Some of the unfortunate initial specimens of the program had grown extra limbs, gone mad and even died. Unregulated and refined the concoction for the SOLDIER program was potentially lethal.

They'd painted the perfect idyllic picture of their company. The article was geared to make you believe that you were going to be helping the world by invading Wutai and becoming a genetically enhanced killing machine.

The irony was that in some ways they were right, a lot of good had come out of the SOLDIER program, but at the same time a lot of bad had come of it as well. For instance the SOLDIER program had borne a few of the world's later WRO operatives, those that were left after Meteor fall at least.

Shaking his head at the blatant lies and misinformation Cloud pushed the magazine back across the table, his lips quirking at the picture with the article. Sephiroth wouldn't appear for another few weeks at least, and for now the image that showed the triumph of the SOLDIER program was a group of buff grinning men flexing their muscles.

That image wouldn't last long, once Sephiroth came into the picture the perfect SOLDIER was all the papers would publish. He'd be plastered upon every bench and wall for years afterward. Not to mentioned the ill-famed cartoon series that had been started with his visage.

Getting to his feet Cloud crossed the room and grabbed his brush, running it through his hair several times before setting it aside. Checking through his clothes slowly the blond ran his fingers thoughtfully through his hair before selecting a blue muscle shirt and cargo pants and pulling them on.

Slowly Cloud laced his boots, tying them wrong the first time, allowing one of the loops to slip free and having to redo it. When that was done blue eyes scanned the room wearily before he pulled his jacket on and made his way out into the snow.

He'd stalled enough. It was time.

Every step of the way was slow, people stopping him to say hi and telling him what a wonderful time they'd had at his birthday party the night before. A polite smile adorned his face all the way to the Shinra mansion. A smile that was clearly more than a little strained.

Cloud wasn't someone who wore his thoughts on his face so much as in his eyes. And it was clear to all those who cared enough to look that the blond haired boy was conflicted. His thoughts were running a million miles an hour.

As his feet hit the heavy floor of the Shinra mansion the polite smile on his face turned into an open frown. The fact that he'd have to really be open and tell Vincent the truth was really hitting home as he got closer and closer to the moment. His brows furrowed as he shut the door behind him and turned to greet his two pets.

As if they could sense his mood the two wolves didn't try and bowl him over today. Instead Geri and Freki sat on their haunches, tails wagging. Tongues lolled out of their mouths as though they'd been engaged in a long round of physical fitness. Which knowing his puppies they probably had been until he came in.

"Hello Geri, hello Freki. I don't really have time to talk right now but I promise I'll come and see you later to play for a little while okay?" Cloud said, speaking softly to his animals as if they could understand him.

A whine of disappointment followed his words as if they could understand him making Cloud smile, "Sorry guys I wish I could stop and play but I just don't have the time. War is coming and we need to be ready for it. Even if nobody else knows it yet. If I stall any longer than I won't tell Vincent what's going on and we'll all be in the shit again. Forgive me?"

The two animals cocked their heads to the side with a huffing whine, ears twitching, and then stood up and made their way out the room. The two puppies made their way through the building heading to the back door which was left open so they could come and go.

Cloud's lips twitched for a second as he realized that essentially his pets had to use a whole door to be their pet door.

Shaking his head with slight amusement he made his way upstairs where he knew Vincent would be waiting in the corridor room. Looking at his feet Cloud greeted his friend softly with a gentle "hello".

"Hello Cloud, time for our talk now?" Vincent asked in a soft tone as well.

"Yeah, I guess it is," Cloud replied taking a seat on a squashy arm chair across from Vincent.

"Hmmm," Vincent replied thoughtfully looking at Cloud as if to say it was time to get on with it.

"First of all, I want you to know that while there are more facts than what I'm going to share with you now they aren't vital for anyone else to know. A lot of the things I need to say are really personal, and you have to try to keep an open mind about this, okay?" Cloud asked looking worried and insecure about the fact that he was going to give a good deal of his secrets up.

"Fine," Vincent replied thinking that if he really needed to know something then eventually he'd figure it out anyway.

"This isn't the first time I've done this," Cloud started awkwardly.

"Done what? Shared your secret?" Vincent asked curiously.

"No, lived this life," Cloud replied ignoring the confused look on Vincent's face steadfastly.

"You've lived before?" Vincent questioned.

"Yeah, and a lot longer at that. I was 23 when I died in εуλ 0009," Cloud replied with an awkward smirk.

"But εуλ 0009 is in the past. Quite a way in the past, it's already 1992," Vincent replied his confusion clear.

"I'll explain that in a minute. To understand how that happened you need to start at the beginning," Cloud answered.

Clearing his throat nervously Cloud looked away and began his tale, nervous but more than ready for this moment now it had started, "I was born the first time August 11th 1986 in Nibelhiem. That hasn't changed this time around at least."

Blue eyes drifted slowly up to gauge the depth of the ex-Turks reaction and when there was none the blonde swallowed nervously, "I know you're probably curious as to how I died in 0009, but I was born in 1986. Instead of going into the year 2000 Shinra declared that they were starting anew and that it was the year 0000 instead. Later it's enforced world-wide."

Pulling the rolled up magazine from his pocked where he'd placed it before leaving the house the blonde offered it to the ex-Turk.

"I want you to read something I brought for you; you need to look past the Shinra propaganda to see the truth okay?" Cloud said firmly.

Nodding Vincent accepted the magazine Cloud handed over. Immediately his brows raised upon reading the title of the article. 'SHINRA'S GLORY TO SPREAD TO WUTAI: SHINRA'S NEW DIVISION AND THE FUTURE OF OUR ILLUSTRIOUS COUNTRY.'

Much as Cloud had Vincent reacted with disbelief and a vague sense of annoyance as he read the magazine. The scarlet eyed man's reactions were heavily buried, but for Cloud they were easy to see. Neither of them was all that impressed with Shinra's mistruths and outright blatant lies.

"I see," Vincent finally said handing the magazine back to Cloud, raising an eyebrow at the title of the magazine when he realized it was a Midgar Teen Magazine.

"It's my Mom's," Cloud replied, a slight flush burning across his cheeks and forehead suddenly with embarrassment. He didn't want his friend to think there was even a remote chance that he, in any other circumstances, read a stupid magazine such as Midgar Teen Magazine.

"Hmmm," Vincent replied as if to say he hadn't said anything.

"My Mom mentioned this article this morning when she woke me up. When I read it during breakfast I knew that this was the best time to have this talk. I knew the war was coming soon, I just didn't realise how soon after my birthday it was going to be," Cloud replied, continuing on as if Vincent hadn't said anything anyway.

"War?" Vincent asked not having read anything that immediately spelled war in that article. Sure he'd read about Shinra invading the land of Wutai, but that didn't immediately spell war. At least not in his experience, after all that was how the company had taken over most of the world previously.

"When the Shinra troops get to Wutai Village they'll meet with the ruler Lord Godo Kisaragi. Godo will instantaneously declare war, seeing the visit for what it is. The whole war is fought over Shinra wanting to find some mythical 'Promised Land' and farm it for all the Mako it might possess," Cloud replied shaking his head with pity for the Wutai people knowing they had no chance to win.

"How long will it last?" Vincent asked trying to draw more facts from the blonde, not for a moment doubting the validity of his words. Cloud had said that there was a war to come and so he had to believe him.

"The war will last 11 years, from 1992 until February of 0001," Cloud shook his head giving a crooked smile; "Shinra will win obviously."

"And how do you know this? You said that you lived this all before and that you died when you were 23 in the year 0009. But how did you end up back here again if you were dead," Vincent asked shaking his head a bit in confusion this story seemingly going around and around in circles that went nowhere.

"When I was a kid last, my dream was to join SOLDIER. When I was old enough I went to Midgar to fulfil my dream. I told everyone that I would come back a hero in SOLDIER, stupid right? If only I'd known then what I know now…" Cloud replied trailing off to stare distractedly into space with a discontent frown.

"Cloud?" Vincent asked drawing the blonde's attention back to the here and now.

"Sorry," Cloud replied shaking his head, "Where was I?"

"You went to Midgar," Vincent answered his own frown forming as he watched Cloud shake his head again.

"Right, so I went to Midgar to join the SOLDIER program. Only I didn't make it. I failed out because of my size and the reaction I had to Mako. I was highly sensitized to it and thus deemed unusable to the SOLDIER program," Cloud replied angrily as he thought of how that hadn't stopped Hojo from making use of him later on.

"Then I met Zack; from the start he was everything I wanted to be and we bonded really closely," Cloud continued looking past Vincent and into the air behind him a tiny smile playing on his lips as he saw the image of Zack waving to him playing again in his mind.

"You were…together?" Vincent asked in confusion as he took in Cloud's dreamy little smile with an analytical mind.

"No not at all, we were just friends who texted and emailed each other a lot. He was on missions a lot, he was so hyper active; just like the puppy Angeal compared him to," Cloud replied sadly, "But when Angeal defected with Genesis and he was forced to kill them both he changed. He withdrew and stopped talking to everyone for a while. Then when he came back into the public eye again he was obsessed with being a hero and keeping others safe."

"Then?" Vincent asked encouraging Cloud to continue; he knew that if only he could get to the end of the story then so many things he'd been dying to know would be revealed.

"The Nibelhiem mission came up on September 22nd, and I was sent back home with 3 other infantry men and two SOLDIER's. I was too ashamed to tell everyone I hadn't made it as a SOLDIER so I kept my helmet on and hid behind the SOLDIER's. Those SOLDIER's were Zack and Sephiroth, the demon of Wutai and the hero of the war. Lucrecia's son, and Hojo's pet experiment." Cloud replied softly knowing that this was a big revelation to Vincent.

"Sephiroth?" Vincent asked his scarlet eyes widening a little for a moment with the revelation that Lucrecia's child had lived.

"We went to the reactor at the height of the Nibel Mountain Range. When Zack and Sephiroth entered the reactor they found Jenova interred inside. Confused and wanting answers Sephiroth sealed himself into the library in the basement of the Shinra mansion. For days on end he stayed in the library reading Hojo's notes," Cloud replied with a frown as he remembered the way the villagers had gossiped about it the entire time Sephiroth was down there.

"What happened then?" Vincent asked, encouraging Cloud to continue the story and reveal the truth.

"Sephiroth was always a better SOLDIER than the rest, he'd always known he was special but never had he thought that was what they meant. But when he found out about the terrible experiments that made him, he began to hate Shinra. And then, over time, he began to hate everything. Shinra, and the people against them," Cloud answered with a bitter smile as the tale began to grow more and more angst filled.

"What did he do?" Vincent asked with a hint of trepidation in his voice, becoming caught up in the tale.

"When he left the Shinra Mansion on October 1st, he made his way into town and lit it on fire. He killed all the villagers and then he left for the reactor. Zack and Tifa made their way to the reactor where they were both hurt and incapacitated. I picked up Zack's Buster Sword from the floor of the reactor and went after Sephiroth," Cloud replied shaking his head at his own foolishness.

"Buster Sword?" Vincent asked with a raised eyebrow knowing the weight, height and width of such a weapon.

"The damn thing was nearly so heavy I could only just lift it. Not getting into SOLDIER meant that I didn't have any of the mako enhancements Sephiroth did to help me. I was lucky really, Sephiroth was so busy talking to 'mother' that I was able to stab him through the back and impale him upon Zack's sword," Cloud replied with a sheepish smile knowing that otherwise in that state he'd have stood no chance.

"Lucrecia was there?" Vincent asked cocking his head to the side a bit thoughtfully.

"No, Hojo's manuscripts had convinced Sephiroth that his mother was the alien Jenova. Sephiroth was convinced the calamity was really a Cetra and that he was the last of their race. Jenova told him that the human race had betrayed the Cetra and together they would take the world back for their own so they could ride it through the stars," Cloud replied shaking his head in disagreement.

Vincent nodded and turned his gaze away for a moment, the excitement he'd had at the thought of Lucrecia seeing her son vanishing, "I see."

"His mind was taken over, possessed by a messiah complex about being the chosen one. I left him to die in the reactor, but when my back was turned he got to his feet and took Jenova's head from her body. I tried to take him down he fought me off easily without the element of surprise, and then it was my turn to be impaled on his sword, the Masamune," Cloud said his hand going to the spot where he knew Sephiroth had stabbed him in his last life.

"So you died then?" Vincent asked.

"No, I managed to use the 7 foot long sword as a lever to fling Sephiroth into the reactor's core. Then I passed out. Unfortunately Hojo got a hold of Zack and I and turned us into experiments. We were both subjected to a little more than four years of experiments until Zack freed us and we escaped. I was comatose, and mostly a great hindrance to Zack," Cloud continued his eyes growing distant as he thought about what would happen next.

"We were on the planes just outside of Midgar when the army caught us. Zack sacrificed himself for me. Then he told me I was his living legacy, that I had to continue on for him before gifting me his sword and dying," Cloud continued.

"And did you?" Vincent asked referencing Zack's dying wish.

"For a while; I joined AVALANCHE and anti-Shinra terrorist organization. We blew up two of Midgar's reactors before they retaliating, dropping the plate on sector seven. While we were busy fighting off Shinra and trying to stop the plate they stole my friend Aerith and sent her to Hojo's labs. When we infiltrated Shinra to retrieve her Sephiroth attacked and killed the President," Cloud responded.

"I thought he was dead?" Vincent replied in confusion.

"So did I," Cloud countered shaking his head.

"So then what?" Vincent asked becoming more and more confused by this story.

"We chased Sephiroth round the planet until a finally Aerith managed to escape us and meet with him at the Forgotten City. She prayed for Holy to stop the meteor Sephiroth had summoned to destroy all life on the planet. Only Sephiroth killed her as we watched," Cloud continued trying to summarise more than a few months' worth of work.

"WEAPON's rose from the planet to make things harder. Huge monsters created to keep Gaia safe. Many people died while we fought to keep them safe. The Shinra Headquarters' was destroyed with Rufus Shinra inside. For some time afterwards we thought he was dead," Cloud said frowning as he remembered the WEAPON's and the damage they're done.

"Finally we stopped all the WEAPON's, took down Sephiroth and Holy stopped Meteor from falling. Although not without great damage to Midgar. When things were done we rebuilt our city outside of Midgar and renamed it Edge. The World Regenesis Organization took over and things were almost peaceful," Cloud said thinking of Denzel and his Geostigma.

"Almost?" Vincent asked.

"A disease began to take over the planet. A disease with no cure, called Geostigma. It's a symptom of alien matter infesting the body. The body tries to eliminate it, and overcompensates. Inside our bodies is a current like the Lifestream. That current is what fights off any malevolent intruders. It struck a boy whom I adopted with Tifa's help; Denzel. He'd already lost his parents in the Sector 7 plate destruction I only wanted to help. But I couldn't," Cloud answered looking away, "I caught it too."

"So you died from this disease?" Vincent asked wondering if the story was nearly over, it was certainly turning quite elaborate and confusing.

"No, Sephiroth returned again and when I defeated him Aerith made the planet cure us. Except while I was fighing Sephiroth I died, and the lifestream rejected me. I was told I had no place there among my friends. So, three months, two weeks, and four days later I killed myself," Cloud replied.

"You…committed suicide?" Vincent asked with confusion.

Cloud nodded, "So the lifestream brought me back. It sent me back in time to try again because it still needed my help."

"I see…and what does this have to do with me?" Vincent demanded still more than a little confused after the long tale.

"I have a plan, more than a few plans actually, to take down the Shinra Corporation and to stop all this from happening. In two weeks the Shinra Corporation will be busy dealing with the Wutai War. Hojo will out of town working on finishing the Sephiroth project in one of his secret labs. That leaves you open to head to Shinra and infiltrate the building," Cloud replied.

"Infiltrate how?" Vincent queried an uneasy feeling taking over him for some reason.

"You're going to re-join the Turks," Cloud answered, "They'll be losing the majority of their staff soon the original AVALANCHE division. With the war on they should accept you back fairly easily. All of your records are still in the building. You've been listed as missing in action all this time. Veld is head of the Turks, and since you know each other he'll take you back. All you have to do is tell them you awoke from a coma like this in the Shinra Mansion. You don't remember how you got there or why you look the way you do other than being able to tell you've been modified."

"And why would I do this? How would it even work?" Vincent asked his head buzzing with confusion.

"Because you don't want to suffer through all that again. You can save Lucrecia's son, take down Shinra and destroy Hojo before the planet becomes a victim in all this chaos. Trust me; it'll work because the Turk's are going to defect not long after you get there anyway. You'll be fine. Just stay away from Hojo." Cloud replied.

"And what am I meant to be doing while I'm there?" Vincent inquired.

"All you need to do is collect information about Shinra that we could reveal to the public if need be, become settled into the Turks, and wait for me to get there. As soon as I'm old enough to apply for the SOLDIER program I'm going to head to Midgar and help you take down the company," Cloud replied.

"Fine, I shall try it. When do I need to leave?" Vincent questioned.

"Now," Cloud answered with a sad smile.

"I see," Vincent retorted, "I guessed as much when I got you that gun for your birthday. Keep practising on your own. You'd better be the best marksman this planet has ever seen when you come to Shinra Cloud."

"I'll be good, I promise," Cloud replied getting to his feet and giving Vincent a hug; after all he was a child, a child could get away with such actions.

"Good bye Cloud," Vincent said moving to gather his things together.

"Good bye Vincent," Cloud whispered, sad tears in his eyes as he bod his only friend and now confidant farewell, "Good luck with your mission."

The tone was sombre and quiet as the two friends parted goodbye. One could remember everything and mourned the loss of both life times' friendship. Whilst the other could only remember the time he'd shared training a child who'd turned out to be a bigger hero than Vincent had thought he could be.

Blue and scarlet eyes shared the same sorrow as they a tiny hand waved his friend good bye for the final time. He knew that he wouldn't hear from Vincent for some years to come, after all to risk contact was simply more stupid than either of them were willing to be.

As the sun set on the two lonely friends, their pair became a set of singles and they embraced their future. The time had come for Cloud to fully grow up. There was no time left now for childlike wonder and play.

There was work to be done.

* * *

So that's it from me, back to fundraising and packing for my trip. Please don't eat me, or crawl through my computer screen to beat me up. I'm sorry. I promise the next one will be better. Transition's always suck. Wish me luck for my trip to to Christchurch and then Dunedin this weekend. I'm going to my friends 21st, and I'm clubbing for the first time ever XD  
Best wishes and luck to you all! Stay safe!


	9. Dance With The Devil

Hey guys, something a little different this week. Put up with this please because from now on the plot is going to start moving. The pieces are in place and it's time to pick up and go. I've even managed to get this chapter done and updated ahead of schedule for you. Isn't that great? I feel proud of myself. Also thanks to all of you who read this story, I've just cleared 26,000 hits which is amazing to me. I didn't think that many people would read or like this. Thanks as well for all 119 reviews I've received and those that have made them. They mean alot.

I hope you're all safe right now in light of everything going on in the world. Stay safe and be well.

This weeks chapter name is Dance With The Devil by Breaking Benjamin. Enjoy.

_**Word Count**; 6,000_

_________**Warnings**; Vincent...yeah that about covers it. He's a bit of an emo child really. Even if he won't admit it._

___________________**Disclaimer**; I do not own final fantasy, if I did then I would make the cosplays easier to make; damn you Square Enix, now I know you're just doing it on purpose (lightning FFXIII-2)__  
_

* * *

**Rewind**

**Chapter 7**

**Dance With The Devil**

******* Vincent *******

The wine eyed ex-Turk stared at the form of Midgar raised above the empty planes with an odd sense of nothingness filling him. He'd thought on the way here that perhaps returning to the city he'd once called home he'd have felt something about returning.

However as he'd made his way over the final rise to regard the might seat of Shinra power he found himself distinctly underwhelmed. Perhaps it was his former Turk training that taught him to react in such a way. They were taught not to love and get attached to anything. Mainly because sympathy could be dangerous when every victim, every lover could turn out to be an assailant with murder or torture in mind.

After so long away betrayed by the city it just didn't feel like home anymore. Not that his coffin really meant that much to him either, regardless how long he'd lived in self-imposed exile there.

It was odd to think he'd once held such affection for the hideous city of Midgar.

Now as he stood on the outskirts of the town all he could think about was how garish the place had become. He wasn't sure entirely if that was something new altogether, or whether that was something that had always been such and he'd never noticed.

After all when you lived in a place for a fair portion of your life you were inclined see it with jaded eyes.

And really, he was loath to believe that he'd never noticed the hideous look of Midgar. After all he hadn't lived in the city his whole life, so when did he stop noticing. He couldn't remember any point where he hadn't just ignored the way Midgar looked and taken it at face value.

It was just different now than he remembered and he wasn't entirely willing to put it down to physical change. More than likely it had more to do with both the changes in his physical state to the point where he could see the world more clearly and the psychological changes. He was sure that now he knew what the company was really doing he was more prone to noticing the shortcomings.

Shining chromatically the Shinra Headquarters stood high above the city with imposing starkness. It was the symbol of oppression and destruction to those who knew the truth. To those who were stupid enough to buy into the propaganda of the Shinra Corporation it was the shining beacon of achievement and technological advancement.

However glancing at the building himself Vincent couldn't help but feel something; a slight curling of disgust and betrayal roiled through his gut. From the crushing sense of apathy he'd felt at first glance he wasn't sure why or how he felt about the fact that he now felt so amazingly angry.

True he'd known that he harboured dark feelings towards Shinra for their part in his current state, even though Hojo was the main instigator. However he hadn't been quite prepared to be suddenly hit with the full force of his feelings once he gazed upon the source of his burden,

Chaos murmured tenaciously in his head offering to bring down destruction upon the city and take their revenge. It wasn't the first time since he'd reawakened and begun this trip that Chaos had made a comment that was especially insensitive, violent and annoying.

There was after all more than one demon inhabiting his body, a fact that Chaos didn't like since the monster wasn't big on sharing. He'd grown used to such comments now. With a hum of annoyance towards the inhabiting demon he ignored him altogether.

He cared little for what Chaos had to say about anything.

Now he was here in the city he'd have to get started on the mission Cloud had laid down. He had a feeling the blonde was plotting far more than he was currently willing to divulge. When they'd had their talk about the circumstances previously he'd caught on to the fact that Cloud wasn't too comfortable telling his story and divulging all his plans.

He'd wanted to push for more and more details as his training dictated he should, but the friendship they'd cultivated had stopped him from probing too far into what was clearly a painful subject.

The hardest part of Cloud's plan for him was to actually get into the Shinra building the first time to infiltrate the Turks again. He was pretty sure that for all his information may still be in the system somewhere his identification number wasn't going to be activated to allow him into the building.

Not that he was expecting it to be a huge challenge or anything, but it was best to prepare for the worst. It made the results that much more the heartening when things turned out well.

~ 0 ~

Making his way into the city through an open gate Vincent infiltrated the Sector Seven slums easily. In truth it had already changed a lot at first glance than when he'd last seen it. There appeared to be more decrepit buildings now than there were then.

And at second glance he could see the population of those living in the slums had risen. He was sure that when he was last in the city there was less people huddled on every corner chattering about inane things.

The populace seemed happy enough as they slogged through their everyday life, so in that aspect that at least hadn't changed. Sure every now and then a wall or fence might proclaim Shinra to be a bunch of totalitarian barbarian's but really who was he to disagree.

If anything he would be out there with those graffiti artists splattering the walls with their condemning comments. Unlike these innocent citizens he knew what Shinra was really up to.

A booth a few feet away caught his attention and drew him over as he noticed the software on display. Various types and grades of PHS lay on the counter for all to see. The preoccupied stall owner didn't even bother to acknowledge his existence as he checked them out.

It was clear at first glance that Vincent wasn't going to buy anything and since the cloaked man wasn't a paying customer he didn't have the time or motivation to deal with him otherwise.

It was apparent right away that the software had changed more than a little since he'd interred himself in a tomb. A phone he recognised lay to one side of the display, the phones growing more and more impressive looking with each successive row.

The phones grew slimmer and slimmer until they were but plain screens with no keys to be seen and thin bodies like a mid-sized sheet of cardboard. They were fascinating and confusing at the same time as he contemplated how you might use them.

And yet he had no way to know if any of those phones were the current trend. He knew that eventually he would have to deal with those devices again. In the back of his mind was the niggling fear that he would be totally inept with the current technology.

A fair amount of time had passed since he'd dealt with technology at all. He could still use all of his previous knowledge with old systems, which meant that he could still hack some systems. The question was what he would have to relearn in order to be of use to Cloud and the plan when the boy arrived in Midgar.

Being a man whose training taught him to take in everything he found the phones interesting even as he turned to leave the area. His mind didn't seize upon anything else as he made his way through the main square.

A few children ran by laughing and joking happily as they skipped merrily through junk and ruins. It was almost saddening in a way to see children so happy in such a terrible environment.

His feet carried him through the streets and finally to the train station where he managed to climb on top of the train without anyone noticing.

The conductor was so busy explaining something to one of the other passengers that he didn't notice the whirl of crimson fabric as it draped and pulled over the bulk of the train. When the conversationalist left for the interior of the train the conductor gave the final call and signalled for departure.

He'd have ridden on the inside of the train, but through the grimy windows of the locomotive he'd noticed ID checking systems, something that wouldn't work quite in his favour. At least if he was noticed on top of the train by the system he could jump off easily if he had to. A whistle sounded to warn the travellers of the impending withdrawal of the train before the machine rattled off noisily.

The wind rushed around Vincent's face and fluttered the loose folds of his red cape in a dramatic way. The air was filled with the rustle snap of heavy fabric shifting, and the clack clack of wheels moving steadily upon the track as they rose around and around the winding tower structure.

~ 0 ~

Finally the train lurched to a halt in the final and only stop on top of the plate. From this point you either drove on the highways that littered the outskirts or you walked where you needed to go. Most people at this point didn't have far to go since the living area's on the upper plate were mostly around the station.

Jumping down while the train was still in the process of completely ending its journey Vincent made his way out of the station. It wouldn't do to be caught up in the flux of people exiting the train. He'd be too easily caught up in others attentions while he was dressed like he was.

The night was fairly mature now, and he didn't really look like he belonged on the upper plate. The last thing he needed was to draw the attention of law enforcement before he'd even started his mission.

As he stood in front of the fountain in the middle of the square he found himself musing again over the changes in his former home. Not much was different really, and yet at the same time it seemed like everything even the people had changed. Perhaps it was simply a sign of the apparently far more comfortable times.

Sighing softly, so quietly no one else could have heard it the wine eyed man left the square with an idle glance at Loveless Lane curiously. When he'd left for the Jenova Mission the theatre was still being built for the theatre company.

It was certainly quite an interesting addition to the small street. Perhaps he might go there one day and catch a show for one reason or another. Not that he was usually a fan of the arts, but it might be interesting.

And when that was out of sight he was forced to head to the one place his thoughts had been heading the entire time he'd been on his three and a half week trip. Really it mightn't have taken so long if he hadn't decided to take a brief detour to invest in some cash by bounty hunting in the wastelands.

After all, Midgar was a city made on money, especially when you had none.

The Shinra Headquarters loomed above him ominously as he made his way to the stairs at the back of the building. It wasn't a wise first move to head in through the front door to confront the very company that had abandoned him to a torturous death in the hands of their resident madman.

Better to take the back route and make his way to the separate Turk floor by travelling up the stairs and then using the elevator for the final floor.

Just to be difficult the Department of Administrative Research would have to be one of those floors that didn't have a stair well access. It was both a point of security for those working inside the department and a point of danger.

In the event of a fire or explosion or some other emergency that would render the elevator useless the set up was a liability to the Turks. But the truth was it didn't both any of them since they were inevitably going to die anyway.

Turk's didn't have a very large average life span once they'd joined the company. They were lucky if they lived past the first four years.

Live past six years you were counted as a senior officer amongst the Turks. Live past ten years and you were granted the position of Director, once you offed the old one of course. Wouldn't do to have retired Turk's around; you never knew what sort of mischief they might get up to without the adventure of the job.

Each step was immensely loud to his own perception as he crept through the sparsely populated building. He knew he'd done the right thing when he decided to sneak into the building at night. It wasn't so late so as to be suspicious if there was a hint of a figure wandering around, and just late enough that he wouldn't be noticed. He might just make his objective yet.

~ 0 ~

Finally he found himself standing in the Turk's office his eyes regarding the door of the head of department. A faint blue glow filled the room and lit the shadow of a figure through the glass. A sense of apprehension he wouldn't admit to or acknowledge either verbally or physically filled him.

Leaving no room for argument with himself he made his way into the room. A shock of sable hair spilled back. His cape fluttered behind him in a spill of scarlet fabric. In short he was looking imposing and mysterious. A look he'd definitely use to his advantage as all Turk's do.

The figure at the computer shook his head with annoyance, "Reno, you may be on the night shift here tonight but that doesn't mean you need to come in and bother me every five minutes. I didn't want a coffee the last five times you asked. It hasn't changed yet. Go. Away."

"My name isn't Reno, Veld, as you well know," Vincent replied causing the surprised head of department to look up.

"Who are…no it can't be…that's impo….Vincent?" Veld asked mumbling to himself uncertainly, his eyes were wide like he was seeing a ghost (which really he probably thought he was).

"Hello, I was informed that you had become the leader of the Turk's. When did this happen?" Vincent asked politely in the face of an old friend.

He'd been both prepared and unprepared to meet Veld again. They hadn't been extraordinarily close in any sense but they'd been Turk's together. And that was enough to bind anybody together.

Granted in some ways the pay more than made up for it. While Shinra paid their general infantry almost nothing their Turk's were paid almost to the extreme to keep them happy.

After all you really didn't want a bunch of crazy assassins and torturers running about angry about poor pay.

"Not long after you went missing," Veld replied scrunching his face up a bit, "You are real right? I haven't just fallen asleep at my desk again while doing inane paper work?"

"You dream of me often?" Vincent asked raising a single delicate eyebrow.

"No, that is I…Urgh, Vincent you know what I mean!" Veld replied his eyes blinking sleepily. He really had been at his desk for some time, days in fact since he'd spent the night previous sleeping at his desk. A habit he'd indulged far too much since he'd become a Turk.

"Indeed," Vincent replied with a hint of a smile quirking his lips, "You aren't dreaming or asleep at your desk. I'm really standing here in front of you Veld."

"Then, where have you been these last few years? You disappeared on the mission in Nibelhiem with Doctors Hojo, Hollander and Crescent," Veld replied, "Shinra listed you as M.I.A on your file."

"I overslept," Vincent answered.

He wasn't too sure what Veld had really been told about his situation, but Cloud had informed him that he didn't think the head of the Turk's knew the whole truth. At the very least he wasn't sure that his old colleague knew the extent of the experimentation on him.

Veld had always been a very by the book man, he'd stuck to the guide lines of the Turk manual with little to no deviation. Much as he himself had done until the company had betrayed and abandoned him.

If he'd known that Vincent was really an ex-subject of Hojo's betrayed by the Shinra Corporation then he would have immediately found himself at the barrel of a gun.

Not that he hadn't been prepared for such, really when he'd walked into the room he'd been expecting such. However that wouldn't matter as not only did he clearly

"Really?" Veld asked with a raised brow in turn, "That's the best you can come up with? You overslept? You've really lost your touch with humour."

"No, really I was asleep the whole time. I've been in a sort of coma," Vincent answered shaking his head as he mentally acknowledged the fact that it was a self-imposed one at that, "Shinra's known where I was for a while."

A sudden banging sound issued through the room repetitively causing both men to startle and pull forth their weapons ready to attack. Guns at the ready they made their way out of the head office and into the main area where the rest of the Turk's offices were located.

Subtle nods and signals indicated to each other who was going in which direction and what the plan of attack was.

With the final rounding of a corner the two gunmen were face to face with the source of the banging sound. Red hair stuck up at odd angles in a long ponytail. Goggles hung around a slender neck to an askew angle.

The part that really caught Vincent however was the sight of the red head lifting his head up again and slamming it back down upon the wall. At the sight of the perpetrator creating the sound both gunmen sheathed their weapons, although Veld added a sigh to his.

"Reno, what may I ask are you doing exactly?" Veld inquired with raised brows regarding the confused looking Turk coolly.

"Hey boss, I was just banging my head on the wall repetitively. As you do, you know," Reno replied not bothering to either stop or turn his head to regard the two people who'd interrupted him.

"I can see that Reno, why?" Veld asked with an exasperated sigh. He'd known when he'd first hired the young Turk that he was going to be a handful. Who wouldn't be at only 12 years old. Granted Reno had come to them from the slums to train for their occupation early.

Turk's were recruited young, much like soldiers were. After all what better time to train the bodies and minds of their recruits than when they were young enough to form good habits and prevent bad ones. Although Turk's and soldiers were usually only taken in at a minimum age of 13, and Reno had been with them already for a year.

"Simple, not only am I annoyed but I'm getting a workout while venting my anger. You can burn 150 Calories an hour by banging your head against the wall," Reno answered ignoring the tone his boss had adapted to his voice.

"Reno, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to desist immediately. That's a terrible habit and the fact that it burns 150 calories an hour means nothing. I'd like to say you'd cause yourself immense brain damage before then but I'm afraid you mightn't have any brains left to damage based upon the fact you started this activity in the first place," Veld answered in an exasperated voice.

"Aww, Sir that's not nice. After I volunteered to stay here late and do the night shift with you and all," Reno replied finally turning away from his head banging to look at the pair in front of him.

Vincent found himself momentarily distracted by bright blue eyes with green rings around the eye. The colour reminded him of Cloud, something he'd never noticed elsewhere before.

The thin stripes of red tattooed under the young Turks eyes only drew his attention to them and by connection Cloud, even more.

"Reno, you didn't volunteer to be here for the night shift, you were told by Tseng this morning that you would be staying tonight for the evening to help out with some things. At any rate, as I am your boss, I don't need to be nice to you. As long as you get your job done then I won't have you put on the black list. Got it?" Veld asked.

"Sure thing boss, so who you got there? Gonna introduce us, coz he's staring at me pretty hard. Think he likes my sexy self?" Reno asked completely forgoing all sense of work place propriety in favour of saying what was on his mind.

"This is Vincent, one of our former operatives," Veld replied giving Reno some of the information he wanted.

"What do you mean former operative, I thought you said that we didn't retire in this job, we died," Reno answered in confusion referencing a talk that he and Veld had had only a few days before about the history of the Turk's.

"We don't retire, Vincent is a special case," Veld answered unwilling to give any more details than that to a junior Turk.

"What about you Vinnie, you got anything to say?" Reno asked with a sarcastic smirk, and a drawling tone.

"No," Vincent replied shaking his head and turning to Veld again, "I'm returning to your office. We have some things to discuss."

There was no point in saying anything about the way Reno had said his name. It seemed that the redhead was one of those people who would feed on his annoyance if he said anything. In the long run it was safer to be quite and ignore the child altogether.

~ 0 ~

Taking a seat in the office that left him with a side to the door and the other side to the desk where Veld was seated he turned his head to look at his colleague. Old habits died hard in terms of choosing the safest seat in the room for an attack or assassination attempt. At least Veld could see that Vincent's training hadn't gone to waste while he was sleeping.

"So Vincent, all this time has passed. Not that I'm not glad to know you're alive after the department was told that you were dead. I'm glad to know you were only in a coma. But what exactly have you come back here for?" Veld asked.

You're still technically on the pay roll of that's what you're worried about. If you need money we can back pay you all your wages. You'd have to reopen your bank account though. All of your assets were frozen when you went missing. Even your apartment is still exactly the same," Veld said in a poor attempt to comfort Vincent; sympathy wasn't a part of their training.

"I see, however no I am not concerned entirely with money. It is interesting to note however that Shinra has kept me on salary. That should make this process much easier then. I would like to return to the Department of Administrative Research officially. I want my job back now that I am able to perform it please," Vincent answered.

"I see, and what if I was to tell you that we don't have any vacancies among the Turks?" Veld replied.

"You've just told me I'm still on salary, that means I'm still in the department figures according to Shinra policy," Vincent replied in a monotone voice.

"Perhaps the president won't allow you to return after being this late to work, a few minutes is fair enough Vincent, but a few years is getting a bit ridiculous," Veld answered.

They both knew that really this was only a game of words, no matter what either of them said Vincent would end up back in the Turk's one way or another. He'd been too valuable an agent to them the first time around to let slip through their fingers again. They had but to convince the President of that fact.

"He knows where I was and what I was doing, I see no reason why he should object. In fact if you agree to take me back my next stop will be to see the President to discuss my return with him," Vincent responded.

"Do you plan to hurt the President Vincent? You know I can't allow you to do that, as much as I wish someone would off the fat bastard," Veld questioned.

A little bit of sharpness to Vincent's next breath was the only indication that the wine eyed man found any humour in the statement, "No I do not intend to kill the President. That would be a terrible way to get my job back."

"Indeed, well I'm prepared to put you back on the team under probationary status Vincent. Provided you pass all the standard entrance tests and are able to convince the President you're worth keeping on staff. I have no idea why you were never removed in the first place, but you have to earn your second chance," Veld replied knowing that Turk's rarely gave or received second chances at all.

"I see, then I'll leave. Until tomorrow," Vincent replied getting to his feet as he said his farewell before strolling briskly from the room and out of the Administrative Research department.

Tomorrow he had a date with the devil, more specifically the devil named President Shinra. He held no illusions towards the fact that at this time of day the old man would be gone. Tomorrow morning they'd meet.

In the meantime, he made his way to the Turk housing complex and let himself into his old room. It'd been so long since he'd last seen his little apartment that it was funny to him this place could still be counted as home. As he settled in for the night, killing time by taking a nap he really didn't need a sense of comfort settled over him again for the first time since he'd left Nibelhiem and Cloud behind.

~ 0 ~

Rays of light shone through the window in a way that made the room seem even bleaker than he remembered. By the dark of night Vincent's little apartment seemed cosy enough much the way he recalled it. By the light of day however the world had a more washed out shade to it from the pollution haze blocking the filtering sunlight.

Perhaps it had become worse in the time he'd been asleep, or perhaps he'd simply become accustomed to the sight so long ago and had truly stopped noticing it. Just another sign of the wreck Shinra was creating of the planet.

If the things Cloud had spoken of didn't come to pass then he had no doubt within a few years Shinra's greedy ways would destroy the planet anyway. They were essentially sucking the life out of the planet to power their blenders.

Although there was no guarantee that he would have his job back Vincent knew that it was time to look the part. He was comfortable in his red and black battle leathers, but they wouldn't do if he was attempting to blend in to the general populace inside the Shinra building or on the street. With a sigh of resignation the crimson eyed man open his closet and pulled on one of the suits he found inside.

Luckily, although he was much older now than he'd been when he'd last worn one of the trademark Turk uniform suits the clothing still managed to fit him. He was somewhat slimmer than the last time he'd worn the item however and the tailored effect looked a little bit off. He mentally acknowledged the fact that he really needed to eat to regain some of the weight he'd lost.

Really he didn't need to eat food anymore now that his body was in a way deceased and demon ridden. However the thought of indulging in some of the delicacies he'd once loved, and fitting into the general population was an attractive idea. With a final flourish Vincent pulled his long hair out of his suit and let it drop.

For a moment he stared at his reflection in the full length mirror in the middle of the floor. The suit looked okay, not as professional as it used to, but that could easily be fixed at a later point by ordering new uniforms. The length of his hair bound up against his face by a blood red bandana however didn't look quite right.

After a moment of contemplation he removed the red band from his hair, a tumble of black locks cascading down around his face. Gathering handfuls of the dark mane he quickly brushed it back until he was able to pull it into a high pony tail using a hair tie left lying around. He wasn't sure why he had a hair tie at all, but had to assume it was either from a friend, an ex, or from when his hair was getting too long and needed a cut.

The finished look was far more professional than the bandanna bound hair and leather body suit combination. The only problem in the overall look was the shining golden gauntlet bound to his arm permanently. He didn't have a glove with the right kind of padding to disguise his hand so he was forced to leave the gauntlet in plain sight and conceal it with posture and lighting. Much like carrying a gun as a Turk.

With a final mental sweep of the room and a weapons check Vincent left the house and re-infiltrated the Shinra building. He still couldn't enter through the front doors of the Shinra building, which meant that he was forced to climb the enormous flight of stairs again. Not that the stairs bothered him too much since thanks to his enhancements he could probably run the length of Gaia a few times before getting tired.

The first few floors were easy but when he came to the section where the stairs were locked down he knew he had to do some infiltration. Sneaking about he stole key card after key card from random Shinra employees. Getting to the Turk floor the night before had been easy enough, since the Department of Administrative Research led off a floor that was mostly public access.

Finally he'd made it all the way to the top of the building and found himself standing in the middle of President Shinra's giant office. He'd been in the room before, but usually only in a professional capacity as either a guard or to deliver a report for the Turks.

Standing on the dual stair double level floor he couldn't help but feel disgusted at the lavishness that was spread about carelessly. He knew that a certain amount of opulence was a given as head of most the world but the sheer size of the display was simply ridiculous.

A deep and silent breath steadied him as he ascended the stairs into the President's main area. His secretary hadn't even bothered to try and stop him from entering no doubt assuming, as he'd hoped upon getting dressed this morning, that he was another Turk.

No body messed with the Turk's, at least they hadn't in his time, for fear of one of the operatives snapping and killing them or some other equally terrible option. Not that the idea wasn't at the very least a little founded upon truth, it was true that the stress of their job had unhinged more than a few Turks in the past.

The sharp wheezing of someone grown to large on the opulent luxury of wealth broke Vincent's inner monologue. Once he was again paying attention to his surroundings he realized that he'd cleared the stairs and was regarding the current President Shinra.

It was plain at first sight that the man had let himself go more than a little. His memories of the President weren't fabulous to say the least; he'd never really liked the man as he'd seemed far too entitled. Never had he looked like this however.

President Shinra was rounded and bulbous. Even if Sephiroth wasn't going to kill the main with a sword through the heart in a few years it was heavily apparent that the man would not long after have died of heart failure at any rate. Clearly poor exercise and eating habits had taken their toll on the toadish man.

The ugly red suit the man wore was stretched tight across the belly as if he'd once had the item tailored and hadn't bothered to have it let out once he grew. The President wasn't overwhelmingly large, but he was distinctly round and pudgy. The scent of cigar smoke and old fast food letting the crimson eyed man know exactly why.

"President Shinra," Vincent greeted as he stepped to attention in front of the man's desk.

"Who are you? I don't recall calling a meeting with any of my Turks. I don't recall you being one of my Turk's in the first place," President Shinra replied in an angry smokers growl.

"Oh believe me Mr President, I was definitely one of your Turks. My name is Vincent Valentine. You assigned me to take care of Professor Hojo, Doctor Hollander, Professor Gast, and Lucrecia Crescent. I was there when you made Sephiroth," Vincent replied, a hint of a cold grin drawing itself across his lips.

"What are you talking about?" President Shinra asked, his face beginning to sweat as he began to stress a little about knowledge of a warrior who hadn't become famous yet. The acrid, tangy smell of sweat heavily assaulted Vincent's nostrils unpleasantly.

"Don't worry sir, I'm not here to kill you or anything, quite the contrary really," Vincent answered the slight grin staying in place as he enjoyed drawing the situation out. He could already tell the man was going to cave without anyone to turn to for support. It was only a matter of time until he made a desperate offer to get rid of him.

"What do you want?" President Shinra demanded sharply, his anxious terror starting to get the best of him with every passing moment. With backup and support he was firm and tough, but stuck in a room with the results of one of Hojo's experiments, for he'd now recognised him, he felt vulnerable.

"Simple sir, I just want my job back. I'd like to return to the Turks starting immediately. My information is still on file, I checked. I'm still technically a staff member of the Department of Administrative Research and I'd like to return," Vincent responded.

"Why would I allow you return and not have Hojo come and collect you right now? I could have you returned to where he left you with the push of a button you know," President Shinra said his hand shaking a bit as he attempted to bluff his way out of the situation.

"You're going to allow me back to work so I don't shoot you here and now. I'm armed with two guns and three knives right now you know," Vincent deadpanned pulling back the hem of his blazer to reveal one of the aforementioned guns, "You and I both know that no one will reach you in time if I decide to blow you away right now. I also won't tell anyone about what you're really up to. I'm sure that the citizens would be interested to know that they're really at war in Wutai about the Promised Land. You should be careful where you discuss these things you know."

"You drive a hard bargain Valentine," President Shinra replied with a less than amused shake of his head.

"I want my back pay started now for all the time I've missed since Hojo experimented on me. I also want a pay rise; an extra 5% seems fair. Call it reparations," Vincent replied making it seen as if he was getting everything he wanted out of the deal to lower some of the suspicions about him.

"Fine, get ready and head to work. You start immediately Valentine. I will keep my word, you best keep yours," President Shinra replied attempting to sound tough and imposing as he gave in to keep his head off the chopping block.

They both knew that if Shinra was to come into doubt then the whole company would be under scrutiny by the citizens of Gaia. They couldn't afford to be lynched and boycotted by the world because they were unjustly starting a war.

At least in a few weeks from now they could say that the Shinra Corporation had been denied and attacked by the Wutai people whilst offering aid. Propaganda would make the war seem like they were the victims and not the other way around.

Thank the gods that they'd already started a special elite task force called SOLDIER to deal with the problem. Talk about convenient. However if they people were to find out that all they were fighting for was the existence of some mythical land they could sell for a tiny profit?

Mutiny.

With a silent nod Vincent left the President's office in search of the Turk's floors, induction papers in hand. He knew he'd then have to spend the rest of the day running back and forth getting things like photo ID done but with that knowledge came a sense of pride. He'd done it, he was a fully-fledged Turk again. Minus the tests of aptitude of course. Although he was fairly certain he'd pass, he was after all enhanced now. If he'd passed normal the first time this one should be a walk in the park.

Not to mention he got a pay raise. For now he was set. All he needed to do was tell Veld.

* * *

Right, sorry if you didn't find that interesting, but it needed to be done. There were so many things that Vincent needed to thing about that you need to think about too. I hope that's helped clear up some issues, such as the lack of clear goal, a little. Thanks to all who've done so thus far, but please R&R. Also, big thanks go to Basilton who reviews my work so much. I've recently read your work Professor Strife and if anyone else hasn't then check it out, it's really good.


	10. The Way She Feels

Hey guys! I'm ahead of schedule! I didn't think I'd be working this fast but the last few chapters have just flown by. For not having had internet for 9 Days whilst writing this chapter I have to admit I've done remarkably well in getting this chapter written. This is another plot driven chapter, it was an important event in the story so again, please bear with me. Especially with the facts I've given. If anything here is wrong please tell me so I can fix it. I don't bite, I swear! Most of the story is written from the incomplete facts I've garnered for my FFVII encyclopedia. Sadly this is about as far as my current time line has made it, so please forgive me for the lack of action.

Thanks for all the reviews I've gotten, and to those who I can't thank any other way because they've left anonymous reviews, I really appreciate it.

This weeks chapter name is The Way She Feels by Between The Trees.

_**Word Count**; 7,500 (more than last chapter!)_

_________**Warnings**; It so wasn't me who swore! I totally blame Cid and Barret for the explanation of Cloud's personality._

___________________**Disclaimer**; I don't own Final Fantasy VII, otherwise it would have an amazing trash compacter materia summon, so you can take out the trash when you've beat the shit out of it. Heh, heh, Sephiroth in a trash compacter screaming...I'm going to go get some therapy now..._

* * *

**Rewind**

**Chapter 8**

**The Way She Feels**

_Time passed like grains of sand through opened fingers for Cloud. Days became weeks, weeks became months, and months soon became years. Every moment was an opportunity the blond haired boy felt had to, and indeed did take advantage of. For every second passed Cloud never stopped moving, never stopped thinking and never stopped his watchful eye on the clock. He could he when there were important things to do._

Life was left mostly untouched by the Wutai War in the tiny town of Nibelhiem. The snow still fell, the sky was still endless streams of blue broken occasionally by bouts of storm. It seemed that the only thing that had changed was Rayne and Cloud.

Gossip ran rife through the town, about the subtle changes in Rayne Strife and her enigmatic son. Cloud wasn't someone the townspeople ever really saw much of. He was up before they were up, and back home by the time they were all nestled safely in their cosy little houses. And for the closed minded people in Nibelhiem that was just a reason to treat the boy like an outsider.

They knew no other way of dealing with what they didn't understand than to chatter about it like animals in a pen. For the most part their curious waffling didn't bother the small blond. He'd lived through much worse than some idle gossip. He could live with being the centre of their attention for the little time he had left in the town.

For the time he had left to stay with his mother was slim, and by the moment it was growing smaller and smaller. It was both a point of nervousness and anticipation in his life. There was so much more that he could do by the point of his venture to Shinra. So much more that had to be done **before **he could join the SOLDIER program.

On the upside thanks to his endless training and the enhancement the planet had left him with he didn't have to worry about the basic training. The last time he'd tried out for the SOLDIER program he'd been a scrawny child with the burning need to be strong but not the reality or the true and definite will. He hadn't made it. Especially with his reaction to Mako.

This time around however he was certain that nothing was going to hold him back. He'd even gone as far at one point as to go into the basement of the Shinra Mansion and take one of the vials. He'd filled a syringe with a bit of the Mako inside the bottle and injected it into his blood stream. A slight blood rush and a sudden and fleeting moment of feeling intense weightlessness was the only reaction his body had to the liquid.

He was going to make it into SOLDIER this time.

As much as Cloud had changed, Rayne had changed too. She'd become both more laid back and more on edge at the same time. It seemed as more and more time passed she was getting the idea that Cloud really was going to be a warrior and a hero. Not that he would use the word hero.

Something in the woman's gut, perhaps a mother's intuition or pride, a little of both maybe told her that he was going to be a hero. And no matter what happened she would love and feel proud of her baby boy.

And at the same time that was the seat of her worry, she knew it had to happen so she relaxed and let Cloud do mostly as he wished with the proviso that he would do his utmost to stay safe. However at the same time, as more and more time passed she'd come to face the reality that he wouldn't stay safe forever.

Stress filled her body making muscles tense and rigid until heavy migraines filled her head when she thought about the future. She couldn't help but be worried with every moment that passed knowing that once her baby was old enough he would head off to his prospective death.

A hero had to make sacrifices, he couldn't stay safe and he couldn't sit back and watch as things went wrong in his life. He had to leap into the fray and be in the centre of the action whether he planned or wanted to or not. It was both a conditioning and a mental state in those who lived to serve and protect as Cloud would.

There was no way she would convince her son to stay safe, to stay with her and live in their tiny town for the rest of his life in relative shelter. And she had no right or reason to ask Cloud to, for as much as she stressed, worried and anticipated his leaving he needed to do so. And more than anything she wanted him to do it.

And so against every single need inside of her head to cry out and say 'don't go, stop,' she kept he silence and simply watched as her baby grew up.

Clouds side of the room was quickly taken up by things that he'd gained. Most children would gather small jars of stones or various toys. Things that interested them enough to let them play with it. Even small bits of paper, various items of clothing and bed sheets flung from the bed in a fitful sleep.

Cloud's belongings however were nothing of the sort. His bed was always kept with military precision, tidier even than his mother's. His floor was clean and tidy, his clutter was cleared away into chests and drawers. All in all it appeared no different to anyone else's room until you looked carefully.

In the chest at the foot of Cloud's bed lay various rounds of ammunition for the hand gun Vincent had given him. A box of materia comprised of both natural and forged materia, that he'd either paid for by selling things he made or by trading services or goods. The ninja throwing star twin Viper and a handful of potions and antidotes.

Underneath the heavy coverlets overhanging the bed lay his staff, the two pieces collapsed and lying next to each other. Next to that lay a wooden practice sword that Cloud himself had made by crudely carving some wood. It wasn't pretty or perfect, but it was large enough and heavy enough that he was able to work with it.

In all honesty the one thing that he wished he had that he would give all his other weapons for was either the Buster Sword or the First Tsurugi. He felt the loss of his huge weapons acutely.

They weren't all that practical for him now though at any rate. His height meant that while he could lift and swing the blade around like a feather he'd undoubtedly take out more of the ground than he would his theoretical enemy.

~ 0 ~

One of the events that Cloud had been dreading came to pass in June of 1995 when Tifa and Cloud were eight years old respectively. Tifa's mother who'd been a little sick since the snows had fallen last in late January finally gave in. She died late in the night whilst Tifa was asleep, and her body was removed to be put in a casket before Tifa could see it.

The next day the town heard the news that Mrs Lockhart was gone, the news buzzing through the gossip lines so fast that even Rayne and Cloud heard the news by 10am. He'd known this was coming, after all he'd been around and actually physically present for this last time.

Many of the things that had happened in the town had caught him just as unaware this time around. He remembered some of the big things that he was there for. But the truth was that he was around Nibelhiem almost as much this time as he was the last time he'd lived there. As a child previously he'd spent most of his time exploring and day dreaming amongst the mountains and gullies.

He had the most basic of knowledge of what was going to happen this time around of course with Tifa. The funeral for her mother was to be later today, and the utter disbelief that her mother was truly gone would spur her. No one would sit and tell her the truth, not that she would have believed it in the first place. She was determined.

Cloud wasn't ever quite sure what had prompted her belief that the departed were really just waiting on the other side of the Nibel Mountains. He could but wish that belief had held true in later years. He'd crossed those mountains many times over during and after meteor fall. But sadly that had never brought back Zack or Aerith.

Tomorrow, with the belief that crossing the Nibel Mountain she would find her mother, Tifa would set out from Nibelhiem. In the past they'd made it to the rope bridge in the mountains, and the rope had snapped beneath their weight even as he'd tried to convince the girl to turn back.

Suffering only a concussion he had barely been injured; something that had pretty much condemned him in the eyes of all the townspeople. They'd assumed that the whole ordeal had been his idea and despite his protests to the contrary he hadn't been believed. He'd only wanted to make sure that Tifa had stayed safe.

At the time he'd failed, and really he was certain that he'd deserved every last word of the blame he received. But that was then and this was now, and those two times were totally different. This time around he would win the war with fate. He would take care of Tifa, and with his help the girl wouldn't fall from the cliffs and pass into a fevered coma.

A small smile crossed his lips for a second as he contemplated his triumph upon taking care of Tifa. All would be well. He wouldn't be hated by the townspeople this time around. He would just be that strange boy they'd gossip about because they barely saw. He could live with just being the strange child for the few years left until he made his way to Midgar.

Cloud shook the smile off his lips. Blue eyes turned solemn as he remembered that this was no time to be sitting with a smile curved upon his lips. Tifa's mother was dead, the funeral was only hours away. This was a time for melancholy and solemn recollection.

Crossing the room to where his drawers were he rooted around amongst his belonging to pack what he would need. Tifa would set out a first light tomorrow, and he needed to be there to go with her. He would try and talk her out of the venture, but he had little doubt that the girl would ignore his words.

When the heart was grieving reason was often abandoned for poor attempts at solace.

A sigh breezed between parted lips and drew the attention of the female Strife. Rayne turned to look at Cloud with a sad smile and nodded, no doubt guessing his thoughts were on the death of Tifa's mother.

"It's alright sweetheart, things happen sometimes, just like with your dad. Nothing we can do but learn to move on," Rayne said softly as she moved to embrace her son gently, "Everything will be alright in the end, don't you worry."

~ 0 ~

Sniffling and sobbing filled the otherwise silent air every time the priest took a pause for dramatic effect of something. Cloud couldn't help but wonder if they only did that because they wanted to check who was still awake.

All priests seemed to use the same monotone voice, the kind of voice that just begged you to go to sleep. He was willing to be if the man presiding over the funeral started to read the dictionary they'd all be out in a matter of seconds.

Dressed in his best clothes, the blond couldn't help but feel uncomfortable sitting next to his mother. The suit felt completely wrong and itchy against his skin, as if his flesh knew that it wasn't draped in combat gear and was begging for its return the only way it knew how.

He tried to scratch the itch as subtly as possible, but from the looks his mother kept giving him he wasn't being very successful.

Feeling guilty Cloud looked away from his mother, over the casket and hole to where the family stood. Tifa looked confused about the proceedings as she looked into the grave site uncomprehendingly. A river of chocolate hair spilled over her small frame as she leant forward some to glance around the gathered guests.

Most of the town had turned out for the funeral, even though the death had only happened that same day. It wasn't all that surprising being as Tifa's father was the Mayor of the town, and everyone at some point had dealt with his wife.

All in all she had been a lovely lady, willing to help and laugh along. At least from what he remembered from his previous life at any rate. He hadn't really dealt with her this time around.

With a soft sigh Tifa settled back and glanced at her shoes looking remarkably bored. No, Cloud was sure that for all the girl was eight years old no one had thought to take the time to explain to her that her mother was gone. Sure she'd only been gone a few hours, and the funeral had been sort of a rush job, but that was just how they did it in Nibelhiem.

Those that died weren't always claimed by the planet, there was a whole host of reasons why they were and why they weren't. Although many would like to lay claim to the discovery and the solid reasoning behind it there was no one thus far who'd really be able to say why. Although the most common theory was a tie between tainted bodies, or weak lifestream.

In all honesty if there was a theory that Cloud had to pin point and really agree with then he'd probably have to hold true with the weakened lifestream. It did seem that it took longer for the bodies to disappear, or perhaps even disappear at all, when they'd died around the area where a Mako reactor lay.

It made sense then that the sight of a funeral and a still existent body had confused the poor girl beyond belief. He felt more than a little sorry for Tifa, after all he knew what effect this procedure would have on the girl.

Especially once she realized what was really going on and had to deal with the truth that her mother wasn't simply waiting for her on the other side of a frigid mountain range but gone entirely forever.

In Cloud's time he'd only attended a handful of funerals. A little over half of them had been in Nibelhiem itself, the rest had mostly been Geostigma ridden bodies. All the funeral's he'd attended had been to varying degrees of organization as well.

From his own which had taken scores of organizing. Right up to Aerith's which had been little more than a few sad looks and a dunk in the lake.

Not the Aerith's funeral wasn't sad and a thing of beauty at the same time. It was just a rushed and unplanned affair. When he'd held the lifeless body of the sole remaining ancient in his hands he'd felt a deep and penetrating remorse that refused to leave his body.

His whole being had become laden with regret that he couldn't have expressed had he tried. Regret that still followed him; although in this time line it hadn't even happened yet. It was silly really to carry such a burden over Zack and Aerith's death when he could and would stop it from ever happening this time.

They wouldn't know any different of course but the problem was that his brooding mind couldn't forgive or forget. As much as he'd told Aerith that was what he wanted more than anything, it just didn't seem to him that he could be forgiven. After all when he couldn't forgive himself why should anybody else.

~ 0 ~

The final words were said over the body, the droning voice of the minister cutting through his musing and revealing he'd missed the funeral in all his brooding. For a moment he felt even guiltier than he had before, the guilt weighing him down with iron clad ferocity.

At the very least in that moment Cloud fit the part for the end of a funeral. He looked so downcast, repentant and regretful that even Tifa noticed. It was that moment of sadness that made her cross the grave once the service was over and embrace the blond haired boy tightly.

Tifa had been given a rare glimpse of insight into the mind and eyes of the mysterious Cloud Strife. Something she wouldn't trade for the world. He was always such a curious boy. They'd lived as neighbours all their lives yet she could count on one hand the times that they'd truly interacted with each other beyond politeness and niceties.

Surprise filled Cloud to the core. He was certain that this event hadn't happened the last time he'd attended the funeral. He was sure to have remembered if it had. For a moment he felt incredibly uncomfortable as he was publicly hugged by the young girl.

Eyes turned his way as the entire town regarded the embraced with barely veiled speculation. After all he was the strange young strife boy, the perfect paragon of gossip. And what was more gossip worthy than two young children locked in embrace at the graveside of a funeral. The funeral of the young girl's mother, the wife to the mayor at that.

Awkwardness was hard to escape as Cloud started to close his arms around Tifa in return. He wasn't sure quite what to do or how to respond. Hugging your mother and hugging the girl whose life you aimed to protect because you knew her in the future and wished to spare her that pain was quite different.

And also apparently quite a mouthful if he'd felt stupid enough to try and share that thought aloud.

His limbs appeared almost disjointed as every joint in his body bent and wavered into place to form an embarrassed and uncertain hug. He'd never been big on hugs, not that he didn't have a fair few memories of Zack enfolding him in an embrace. Of course that was an action of companionship usually followed by an infuriating noogie.

This was a hug of grief and comfort, and he'd never really been all that good at that. By all accounts his friends would describe him as nothing more than fucking depressing. But then what else had they expected from someone such as himself? Nothing really, and in the end that was the beauty of the whole thing.

Cloud's friends, the former members of AVALANCHE and the family he'd built afterwards, those were the people who'd cared. They'd cared so much they hadn't minded his brooding and depressing manor. They hadn't minded that he couldn't remember the day of the week, or even where the hell he was at any given moment.

His friends and family, for all that he hadn't seen it then, in truth they'd accepted him for what he was. Flaws and all. Or at least what they'd known of his flaws at any rate. As he held Tifa in his arms and made a feeble attempt at comforting the young girl he couldn't help but think about the Tifa he'd left behind.

The comparison was inevitable really he realized once he'd started it, but there was no way that once he started he would be able to stop. He missed the Tifa that would yell at him about giving Denzel bad idea's. The Tifa that would pat his hair gently when he woke up unsure of where he was, whimpering and scared with images of Hojo's lab all around him.

But he had to face the fact that the Tifa he was thinking of was gone, and will all the luck and effort he could muster she would never return. The realization that all going well he would never be held that way by her again was what made Cloud squeeze this Tifa tight. He missed the Tifa that was like the sister he'd never had. But for a moment this one would do.

Cloud shut his eyes tightly and thought of a time, in both the future and the past where Tifa would smile at him as she drew the kids close. A small smile momentarily crossed Cloud's lips as he murmured soft reassurances to the wine eyed girl huddled in his arms.

He wanted to tell her the truth straight off, to turn around and tell her that her mother was gone. But something stopped him from doing that, from turning her whole world upside down. It seemed too him that it would be like kicking her when she was down. He could already tell she knew something was up, that she did indeed have some concept of happenings.

She hadn't been allowed to see the body placed in the casket. Nor was she to be allowed to see the burial. The mayor loved his daughter too much to traumatise her that way. No the actual burial would happen once the town was out of sight. Tifa wasn't to know the cruel fate her mother's remains would be left to.

And yet Cloud couldn't help but feel that she ought to. It was mean and cruel to ruin a child by telling them their parent was going to spend the rest of time rotting in the ground buried under piles of dirt. But it seemed almost as cruel to allow a child to believe that their mother had any chance of going back.

Pulling back from the hug Tifa smiled a little shakily at Cloud, picking up on the aura of the occasion, not so much the idea. She did indeed have the vaguest idea that her mother was gone. Her father had said as much to her, but he hadn't really explained why they were burying a box in the ground. He hadn't explained what all the boring mumbling had been about either.

Tifa had merely caught her mother's name and some rambling about being taken from the town too soon. It led her to wonder why her mother had gone, and when exactly she'd been planning on telling her. Last she'd known her mother had been laying sick in bed. When she'd awoken the woman had already been gone and she'd been whisked away to get ready for a 'funeral'.

Whatever that meant.

Tifa did know one thing however as she glanced at Cloud. She might need a hand with her plan to meet up with her mother. And Cloud probably knew the mountain ranges like the back of his hand by now. She knew from a brief conversation with the blond haired boy that the mountains were where he disappeared to all the time.

The thought and plan had been forming solidly inside her head as she'd stood over the hole in the ground covered by a box. A boring affair really that had quickly lost her interest. The words the man who talked used were far beyond concepts she could currently understand and within seconds she'd been lost.

Focus had shifted back and forth from the surroundings, to her plan to Cloud a million times during the course of the boring speech. She was certain that she was prepared for the venture she would undertake. She was after all going to bring backup with her.

She knew that Cloud was determined to become a SOLDIER. He was going to be a hero one day, and hero's helped people. It made sense that he would be her hero, that in her time of need Cloud would become her saviour. It brooked no question in her mind that the boy would do it. After all, no wasn't a word she'd heard much of being as spoilt as she was.

"Cloud?" Tifa asked questioningly turning her gaze up to stare deeply into blue hued orbs. She became momentarily distracted by the bright blue melding into green around the pupil. She'd never been close enough to notice before.

"Yes, what do you need Tifa?" Cloud queried having some idea what Tifa wanted even though last time around he'd simply followed the girl rather than been invited to join. Needless to say at the time she hadn't been all that impressed because she hadn't known him all that well. It was probably more of a stalker-ish action than he'd really intended it to be.

"I was wondering if you could help me with something." Tifa replied shaking herself awake as Cloud spoke in answer to her unfinished question.

"What do you need help with?" Cloud asked almost redundantly; he knew what she was going to ask and he wished she would just confess to it rather than stand there and draw the conversation out. He couldn't very well say that to her though, it might prompt her to end the conversation altogether and keep her silence about her actions.

"My Mom's gone, she's left us and I want to get her back. I need to convince her to come home, or to take me with her," Tifa answered clenching her hands determinedly into fists as she spoke.

"Yes, she is gone Tifa. I didn't want to have to be the one to tell you this. I was hoping that this time your father would step up and confess to you what was really happening here. I see that my hopes were ill placed in that respect," Cloud responded seeing the girl look confused with his language, "Your mother **is **gone Tifa. She's gone for good and isn't coming back. She died last night, and the planet didn't take her. She's in that box right there. We're returning her to the planet our own way. It isn't as fast or clean, but she is dead and there's nothing we can do to change that."

"No, you're wrong, she's waiting. She's waiting on the other side of the Nibel Mountains for me. I know she is. She told me that she always wanted to make it to the other side of the mountains, but she just couldn't find the time. She wanted adventure. And she's not sick anymore, so she's decided to go. She's there, and she's probably waiting for me to meet her. I have to go and get her. I need to bring her back home," Tifa retorted desperately.

Cloud's fears regarding Tifa's stubborn nature were confirmed. He'd tried to reason with the girl and convince her of the truth, but it seemed that there was no way to convince her until her venture had run its course. In the past after Tifa had been hurt seeking both the truth and a comforting lie her father had stepped up and spoken with her.

She'd been crushed true, but because it had come from him after receiving such a beating she'd given in and listened to reason. She'd abandoned her childish idea of the truth and accepted reality as it was. He knew there was to be no other way to teach the girl her lesson than to go through the journey with her and show her the truth. Her father certainly wasn't going to do anything unless under extreme duress.

"If you're that set on making this journey then I see no other alternative than to take it with you. I'll do my best to keep you safe. I **won't **fail you this time," Cloud replied the end of the sentence becoming softer and softer until he stopped speaking.

Tifa caught the addition of the phrase 'this time' at the end of the blue eyed boy's sentence and couldn't help but wonder why he added that. After all they hadn't really talked enough to let the blond have failed her before. Then again he seemed like the type to take every little burden on board whether there was anything he could have done or not. With that in mind she decided not to question it.

"Thanks Cloud, I'll see you here tomorrow morning at first light?" Tifa asked softly.

"Yeah see you tomorrow. Don't forget to dress warmly. It's going to get really cold up there. It seems warm enough now, but those mountains stay cold and frosty all year round," Cloud responded before nodding to Tifa and walking away.

Tifa watched the boy go, a strange feeling in her gut. It almost felt as if she wanted to call the boy back, to tell **him **that everything was fine. He always seemed so down, so dark and depressed whenever she looked at him. She couldn't understand what might make someone so young look like that. But something inside of her told her not to ask, that he couldn't tell her, that doing so might break him.

It was just another curiosity that would never be answered, scattered among the pieces of the puzzle that was Cloud Strife.

~ 0 ~

The sun came up over the edge of the village the next day, its ruddy light casting upon the early adventurers. Their bags lay packed and settled against their backs. Tifa's held food, simple fare to last a day, perhaps a little more with careful watch. A bottle of water adorned the side of the pack to keep thirst at bay.

Cloud's pack was a little more prepared however. Inside the confines of the bag were assorted potions as well as first aid implements and supplies. Climbing ropes and hooks fit snugly into their own sack inside the bag. His staff hooked to the outside of the pack in loops on either side, and on the front, securely harnessed was Twin Viper.

No one could say that Cloud wasn't ready for combat and climbing looking at his supplies. He was fairly confident that this time around the trip would go well. His only concern was the enemy encounters they were sure to acquaint themselves with. He went out into the mountains with idea of taking down enemies every day. He of all people knew what was out there in those icy peaks.

He'd brought another item along with him. One specifically for Tifa. He'd managed to get it from a monster he'd fought a few weeks earlier. The girl had yet to begin her training with Zangan yet, it was something she would pick up once she fell from the bridge. Perhaps now she wouldn't since she wasn't going to fall.

Cloud however had a feeling that seeing what was out there would still make Tifa want to embrace her warrior spirit and learn to fight. As much as she was raised to be the perfect young lady she wasn't meant to be the damsel in distress. Her temperament would always lead her to take action. It was the way she was, and he wouldn't want to change it if he could.

"I have something you are going to need," Cloud said in greeting to Tifa holding his gift out.

Taking the item from Cloud the wine eyed girl looked at it to discover that she was holding a set of gloves in her hand. The metal gauntlet like item slid onto her hand leaving her fingers bare allowing a fist to be formed. Three metal claws extended from the knuckle of the weapon.

"It's called a Mythril Claw," Cloud said with a nod at the weapon, "We're going to run into monsters out there. I know you don't know how to use those yet, but I'm sure you'll pick it up. It's better to be prepared and not need to use them than to be caught unaware."

"Thanks…" Tifa replied feeling slightly uncertain how to respond.

The weapon was really a very thoughtful gift, if you could get past the fact that a nine year old had just presented an eight year old with a bladed weapon. Of course that didn't even register to Cloud, he knew that Tifa probably wasn't ready for the item, but the fact that she might need it had caused the gift to become a necessity.

"You're welcome. Are you ready?" Cloud asked glancing around the village square, and up to water tower where once he'd made a vow to Tifa that he'd save her if she needed help.

Anyone else might have asked if the girl was still sure she wanted to do this, Cloud however simply went about making it happen. She'd made the choice and there was no second guessing it now. They were packed and ready to leave. The only thing that remained to be done was a supply check.

"We need to check our supplies," Cloud informed Tifa nodding towards her bag as he started to pull his pack off his shoulders, "Make sure everything is secure, and that we have what we need."

Final checks were done, Tifa's eyes widening as she took in the battle ready supply cache Cloud was storing inside his pack. Luckily he was stronger than he looked, and his body could take the added weight and strain of all of their supplies. In comparison Tifa's back was as light as a feather, not being weighted by several weapons including the gun ammunition for the gun holstered under his jacket.

"You look like you're ready for a war," Tifa remarked as they pulled their packs onto their backs and secured them tightly.

"I am," Cloud replied with a grin that hinted a personal joke. Mainly because it was true that he was indeed preparing for war.

Clearly Tifa didn't get the joke as she sighed and moved to leave the area of the town. Their journey was begun, and it felt liberating.

~ 0 ~

Although the air in the mountains was fresh and free, that freedom didn't last too long. The bridge at which Tifa was destined to fall was quickly coming close, and to make matters worse they hadn't encountered any enemies yet. The level of tension inside the blonde was steadily climbing as he looked about the area with all his senses. The last thing he wanted was to be attacked near the bridge and be forced to take the fall after all.

Tifa seemed to be set on edge as well, as if simply by walking with the silently fretting blond she was catching his vibes. They'd been walking for a little over two hours by the time they were finally attacked by three Sonic Speed and a Zuu.

There were too many enemies for Cloud to take care of simply on his own. The enemies weren't particularly strong, fast or really even that impressive but fact that Cloud was trying to keep Tifa safe as well slowed him down. Every manoeuvre had to be double and triple checked in his head to make sure he wasn't leaving Tifa open to attack.

The brunette had frozen in fear at the sight of her first enemy, not an altogether uncommon reaction really. Cloud was simply glad that he'd managed to cast a barrier on Tifa before she could sustain any damage. He knew there was a reason he'd equipped that particular materia to the bracer upon his wrist.

A triumphant smirk alit his face for a moment as one of the Sonic Speed went down, returning to the lifestream in a flood of green wisps. The death of the first enemy awoke Tifa from her stunned stupor and with a rush of determination she raised her Mythril Claw and went after the third Sonic Speed whilst Cloud battled the second.

Adrenaline rushed in Tifa's veins allowing her to feel free and forget her goals for a moment. A grin adorned her lips as she took down her first monster. Albeit she was much slower than Cloud who'd already finished his monster of and was shooting the hell out of the Zuu who hovered just out of range of attack.

When the monsters were gone, and the conflict resolved, the pair turned to each other with a grin before settling back into sombreness as they remembered their tasks. Cloud gathered up the supplies they'd wrested from the monsters; a bird wing, two potions and a stolen ether. The source of Cloud's income.

For every item Cloud gained from the monsters he encountered, he kept only half and sold the others. Especially the ethers which sold for 750 Gil, and yet sold for 1,500 Gil. Not that he saw many of those. In his chest at home he had three ethers and a turbo ether which he'd come across in treasure chest whilst exploring one day. Suffice it to say he was keeping a fair few Gil in items in his house.

With the new additional items packed away in Cloud's bag they made their way to the bridge where the accident was bound to happen. Tifa put a foot forward to step onto the bridge only to be yanked back by Cloud; the blonde mutely shaking his head.

"What's wrong?" Tifa asked in confusion, seeing no problem with using the bridge. They were standing at a chasm, how else were they planning to cross.

"The bridge isn't stable. If you try and use it the rope will snap," Cloud replied pointing out the joints of the bridge to the stationary posts where the rope had begun to fray.

"How did you know that?" Tifa asked in surprise, she'd never heave thought to check that area of the bridge. Otherwise the connection looked solid and stable.

"I've been here before," Cloud replied with a shrug.

"You walked all the way out here, on a nearly three hour hike for no good reason?" Tifa asked incredulously, staring at her blond companion like he was mad.

"It was just something I had to do," Cloud replied not adding that he hadn't been alone when he'd discovered the bridge's vulnerability. But really what surprise what that, he was lying to keep the world safe after all. What good would that do if he poured out the truth to an eight year old like Tifa.

At least Vincent had been able to understand, his life having formed in such a way as to allow him to handle the truth.

Removing his pack and gathering up the hook and rope and putting the pack back on again Cloud grinned as he showed Tifa. Who immediately blanched at the sight and idea. Clearly it wasn't something the girl was looking forward to.

On previous occasions Cloud had noted the layout of the ledge they'd fallen on previously. There was a cave leading from the outcropping that would take them to where they wanted to go. Of course the only way to get Tifa down there without causing her harm would be to lower her on the rope.

Anchoring the hook around a large outcropping and jamming it into the crag he tied the rope around Tifa's waist. The brunette looked terrified as she was instructed to step off the edge and abseil down the cliff as Cloud lowered her gently. Even from the top of the chasm the look of relief on the girls face was so obvious a snort of laughter passed his lips.

Having done the climb before Cloud loosed the rope and made his way down without its aid. When he stepped onto the ledge where Tifa stood he grinned at the stunned look on the girls face.

"Where did you learn how to do that? Weren't you scared?" Tifa asked with wide eyes, disbelief evident.

"Just something I picked up, I'm used to it now," Cloud replied shrugging again. The rope he'd coiled at his waist for use in an emergency was stowed away in his pack again.

"I'm hungry, is it safe to stop and eat something here?" Tifa asked gesturing to the sudden and deep drop again only inches from where they were standing.

"We should go inside first but yes," Cloud replied leading Tifa to the inside of the adjoining cave where they sat and had lunch for a few minutes.

When lunch was over, and the pair was sufficiently full, their thirst slaked they left and made their way out again.

~ 0 ~

After several hours the two children cleared the final leg of the journey and Tifa was left staring at the blank spot where she'd imagined her mother to be standing. She looked so dejected at not finding her mother standing there that Cloud was frozen for a moment unsure what to do.

"I thought for sure…she'd be here.." Tifa whispered sadly, her body curling in on itself as she sank to her knees and then into a broken huddle.

Ignoring the cold snow beneath him Cloud sunk to the ground and gathered the girl into his lap. Tifa turned her face into Cloud's lap; her eyes squeezed tightly shut and leaking tears of sorrow. Cloud's pants slowly soaked through, but the blonde took no notice as he carded his fingers through Tifa's hair gently.

"It's okay Tifa, everything will be fine. We can't change the fact that she's gone, and right now it hurts. But some day you'll be able to think about the good times you had together and it won't hurt as much. I won't lie to you; it won't ever really go away. You'll miss her for as long as you live, but hopefully one day you can move on and forgive yourself." Cloud said softly trying to soothe Tifa.

He knew that whilst he hadn't forgiven himself yet in all these years he wasn't the rule, but rather the exception to it. He lacked the capacity to forgive and move on, but he knew from experience that Tifa would bounce back. The girl would be fine, and this small event in her life would encourage her to take advantage of what she had whilst she had it.

They stayed there for another half hour, Cloud softly murmuring to Tifa. He could do nothing but offer his gentle support and comfort. Once that time had passed they silently climbed to their feet and made their way home, battling through several encounters on the way.

They parted with nods once they reached their respective homes, and exhaustedly retired to bed. The emotional and physical issues of the day having clearly taken their toll. Both children were asleep the moment their heads hit the pillow.

* * *

Thanks guys, hope you enjoyed it. I can't wait to hear what you think. I may not bite, but I'm hoping you won't either. Tell me what you think by pushing that button down there, okay?


	11. Misery

So I know it's now been a month and a day since I updated last and I'm sorry. This chapter was really kicking my ass. It took me four goes to write this chapter. I wrote it and scrapped it, and rewrote it and scrapped it. I just didn't like anything I came up with. I've been feeling pretty crappy personally lately and it was really the need to get out all my feelings over what happened today that made this chapter happen so in a way I'm thankful. I was mocked publicly by my course leader for my OCD and Bi-polar problems because I wouldn't touch 8 year old bluetack that was probably rife with germs.

This weeks chapter name is Misery but the Mike Tompkins cover of the Maroon 5 song.

_**Word Count**; 7000 words._

_________**Warnings**; _Reno and I have really foul language, so sorry for that xP

___________________**Disclaimer**; _ My offer was rejected when I asked if they'd accept a slice of cake for the rights to final fantasy...I guess they already knew that was a lie.

* * *

_Rewind_

Chapter 10

_Misery_

**[ μ ] – εуλ 1998**

Packing to leave the sleepy town of Nibelhiem was a mission and a half, especially with his mother hanging over every item that entered his pack. She'd been more than a little concerned at all the weapons spilling out from every blank space he'd found. She'd known that he'd had a few bits and bobs lying about; she'd even seen a few of the less lethal looking things such as the collapsible staff. However it was apparent from the look on her face that she simply hadn't been expecting the full extent of his belongings.

The feeling of guilt pervaded his being for a moment as he wished for what felt like the billionth time since he'd started life over again he was normal. He wished that there was some way he could play the innocent little boy who kept bugs and rocks, rather than wolves and weapons. That trip had been hard enough.

A little over a year before he'd taken his pets into the wild. He'd walked the two pups into the wintry wilderness and left them there. They'd stared at him forlornly, whining and shrinking back in droopy sadness. He hadn't been able to explain to them what was going on though he'd tried merely for the sake of his own conscience. And in some way or another he was sure his pets, his only true friends left had understood.

He hadn't wanted to get rid of the pair that early, but for the sake of making sure they stayed gone whilst he was still there to enforce it he had. The keening howls of a pair of wolves missing their brother had echoed through the mountains for months before eventually dying down. The townspeople had whispered gossip about it for such lengths of time Cloud had been driven to tears with both amusement and mourning at their speculation. They'd never know the truth no matter what fables they spun.

The rucksack filled up rapidly until the pack was misshapen, the seams straining and groaning with visible pressure. Clothes, weapons, medical supplies and a handful of mementos jostled for space as the zip was tugged fully closed and the entire bag dragged to the empty space near the door.

Turning around Cloud sighed at the spread on the table. Thank god his motion sickness had been banished with the amount of Mako in his system. Otherwise, with the fest his mom had created (which inevitably he was going to be forced to devour almost wholly) he'd have been regurgitating his innards for the days it took to get to Midgar.

Although he couldn't help but appreciate the effort his mother had gone to. All of Cloud's favourite foods were on the table; soft dumplings, stew, and the best part of all – cake. Just this once he'd make an exception on the no sweets outside his birthday rule. Already a grin of excitement was curling up his lips at the mere thought.

God he loved cake.

Rayne smiled at Cloud as he sat down, tears in her eyes, "My little boy is going off to join the army."

"I know Mom, and I promise I'll be careful. Don't worry; it'll be at least a year before I see any action. After all, I've got to pass basic training first," Cloud replied with a placating smile.

He didn't want his mother to worry about him. After all there wasn't any need; he had to be at the very least mildly careful in order to stop the past future from coming about. He wouldn't put himself in too much danger at first. A fair amount of energy would be spent simply getting into the SOLDIER program. He needed the access, the relative safety and the influence that came with some of the army's higher ranks.

"I know, but my little boy's all grown up. You're going to go off and learn to kill and maim. While you're there you need to find yourself an older woman. Someone who can take care of you. I know the army isn't going to feed you right, and make sure you have everything you need. Try and meet someone nice, okay?" Rayne replied picking up a bowl of stew and handing it to cloud.

With a grin of amusement Cloud accepted the bowl from his mother. She always had the same line whenever he talked to her from the moment he was set to join the army. It sometimes seemed as if she didn't think he could handle himself. But then in some ways that was completely true. What was the point in refuting the idea.

Cloud dug into every course, filling his stomach until it was almost to the point of bursting. When he'd consumed as much cake as was humanly (and mako-ly) possible he gave his stomach a contented pat and groaned. The time was ticking down, and any second the car would be there to pick him up and take him down the mountain.

With a sigh Cloud got to his feet and hugged his mother, "It's time to go," Cloud said with a sad smile hearing the car coming before his mother.

He crossed to the door and retrieved the rucksack with a soft smile. Glancing back he waved before walking outside and climbing into the now awaiting vehicle. The time to hide in the mountains in relative safety was over. The time to enter the belly of the best of was now.

~ 0 ~

The trip to Midgar from Nibelhiem was long and arduous. Although Cloud didn't have the kind of motion sickness that left him hanging his golden head over the railing of a ship he did still get headaches. A constant headache had plagued him pounding sharply inside of his head from the moment he left his house until he stood at the fountain on the way to Sector 0.

Things were much the same as he vaguely recalled from his days as cadet. The memories had returned, but in a hazy and distorted way. On the upside he no longer confused his memories with those that belonged to Zack, but he'd still managed to keep them as well. Inner knowledge at the puppy's hands, of Shinra from the time he couldn't recall would undoubtedly prove invaluable.

The night was long gone by the time Cloud had made it to the top of the plate; he'd spent more than half the evening on the train from the Sector 5 slums to the train station atop the plate in Sector 1. He'd been forced to spend the night on the plate in a small hotel. The price had been rather steep, which was why Cloud hadn't felt in the least bit guilty when the cashier turned his back and Cloud swiped the cash back from the still open register.

When he'd been led to the room he'd found the price to be even more ridiculous in comparison. There wasn't much difference between his well-worn house at home and the shabby chic adornments in his room. Still the blond had slept in worse places over the course of his lifetimes, and he couldn't really complain.

He fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow, and when the first rays of sunlight crested the window pane he was awake. It was the sort of conditioning a military man would come to love. It became instinct for those who were adaptable enough and you simply became used to functioning every day on little to no sleep. It was a sort of self-imposed insomnia learnt through habit. Sure he could have tried to kick it, but there just wasn't any reason to do so. If it gave him more hours in the day, more days in the week and more weeks in the year to train and plan then what was there to be done.

Promptly the blond packed up his belongings, made the bed with military precision and made his way to the fountain square. Rising in all its ugly metallic glory over all else, the Shinra Headquarters was blatantly obvious. Mostly because Cloud was only a block away from the dominating building. A sense of accomplishment and nervousness ticked the lining of his stomach and lungs. It almost felt as though a flock of Chicobo had taken up residence in his innards.

A snort passed Cloud's lips at the thought and he shook his head in amusement. A movement in the corner of his vision alerted Cloud to the presence of someone else in the square. Not all that alarming since he was in a very public place. However it was made a little more interesting by the early hour. Most would have shrugged it off and no doubt not have given it another thought.

Cloud wasn't most people.

Turning away from the Shinra tower the slender boy made his way out of the square, under the arch and into Loveless Avenue. The sight that he was met with there sent the Chicobo aflutter even more than they had been previously. The rapid falling feeling inside of the blond left him with the impression that the birds were migrating south from his throat to the pit of his stomach. For some indecipherable reason they seemed to have taken his heart with them.

It was only Reno, not someone he'd have thought would cause such a strong reaction. And yet the redhead was much the way he had been when Cloud had seen him last. He felt incredibly old and severely young all at once. The redhead loped about the area with lanky easy grinning at everything and making a general nuisance of himself.

And yet Cloud was aware that all of the stupidity and childishness was a farce. When the unkempt redhead wanted to he had the ability to be one of the most astute minds Cloud knew. The act Reno put up however was one of the reasons that he was the best Turk around besides Tseng. It was a widely known fact amongst the Turks that the Reno would be the Wutain's successor.

Although there was the possibility that with Vincent around the rankings might have changed a little. Correspondence with Vincent had been limited and mostly one sided through a series of fake advertisements and proxies. He'd warned Vincent of the methods of contact they might have before the Turk had returned to Shinra. Hopefully he'd been prepared and understood most of it.

Not that Cloud had sent much to the vampire at any rate. It was just the usual status updates and information. Enough for Vincent to be kept up to date on the important events with Cloud. It wouldn't do for the timeline to experience a huge change and not have his partner in crime aware of the altering event. Let alone if the slender blond had died and been unable to let the vampire know.

His only hope then would be to try and get a message to the gunman using Aerith, and hope that her connection through the lifestream was strong enough.

The redhead finally turned to look at him and with a smirk on his lips he wandered out of the main street and into a back alley with casual confidence. He got the message though, the Turk knew he was being followed and was playing a game of cat and mouse. A smirk played over Cloud's lips as he contemplated what would be the better approach to the situation. He could either play the star struck mountain boy, or he could front up and tell the Turk he knew what he was.

Both methods had their merits, especially the more personal one of giving Reno a shock. Whilst he hadn't been able to call the past Reno a friend as such they'd been a little more than mere acquaintances. More than a few times a week, on a good week, the lanky Turk slunk his way into the seventh heaven. They'd had a fair few drinks together and more than once the blond had been obliged to forcibly remove the redhead once he'd plastered himself into oblivion.

Reno would never admit it, but really the images of the plate falling wouldn't ever leave his mind. He'd been a lover of drinking much before the incident as Cloud could vaguely recall, but once he'd done the dirty dead he'd hit a new level altogether. He'd once sworn blind if you looked up slovenly drunk in a dictionary you'd find a picture of the Turk collapsed in a puddle of his own vomit. That was a scene he'd never care to re-enact if at all possible.

Whilst being a renowned drunk with the inability to get drunk on anything less than the contents of an entire bar wasn't the best way to be remembered but it was unfortunately the fondest memory he had. Which of course in and of itself was more than a little sad, but he was sure that if Reno **could **remember him he would be hard pressed to think of a more cheerful kind of memory either. Perhaps he would have to make a few more cheerful and welcome memories with the redhead this time around.

Deciding on the devious option of neither Cloud forced his grin down and wandered past the alley that he knew Reno was in. The redhead looked confused as Cloud wandered past and kept going, and when he focused he could hear the soft footsteps of the Turk following him. Turning around once he'd rounded the corner he internally grinned as he caught the young Turk attempting to casually wander around the corner.

"Hello," Cloud greeted with a small smile.

"Ah, hey kid," Reno replied his hand going up to the back of his neck in sheepish embarrassment. Getting caught that way was a rookie mistake he was attempting to cover up. Perhaps if he hadn't been so distracted he wouldn't have been so obvious.

The red tressed Turk had been more than a little caught up in his own thoughts. He'd had a long night. More like a long week really. He'd been working an undercover job in the slums tailing a group of gang members who were threatening President Shinra. He'd finally managed to search out all the connections to the little gang and eradicate it in the early hours of the morning.

He hadn't really had a good night's sleep in a few days and it showed. The red hair Reno wore in a ponytail was even more mussed and gravity defiant than ever. Dark bags showed up on the man's pale skin, lining his eyes and adding years.

Of course the most obvious clue that Reno wasn't all that together was his highly rumpled suit. He'd been better about keeping organized once he'd been bumped up the chain of command to third place right under Tseng and Veld. However one look at his current state would have the Wutai native rubbing tiredly at his forehead and eyes, the urge to straighten the outfit almost killing him.

When Reno was in one of his most sadistic moods he took great pleasure in going to the gym and training in the suit just to muss and rumple it. Sometimes he did mechanics on the helicopter may as well be the owner of with the amount of time he spent in it. He loved flying, from the moment he'd started those lessons they'd been hard pressed to keep his feet on the ground. He'd have flown home from work every day if possible.

Tseng was used to Reno's antics by now however, and although the scarlet haired man went out of his way to piss the second in command off with his poor presentation it didn't always work. Most of the time the man simply shrugged it off. There were only a few times where Tseng had been unable to control his obsessive-compulsive tendencies, gritting his teeth until he'd been unable to handle the stress anymore and attempting the smooth the suit out. Yet those few times his trouble making succeeded were well worth it.

There was only a certain degree the Turk would go to with his teasing however, and the grime, dirt and creases taking up residence upon Reno's attire were a step too far. He longed for a good shower and sleep, and yet the lack of sleep was keeping his mind awake. He'd known he'd need to tire himself into the ground to catch even a few hours, that was just the way his mind was when he'd performed a particularly bloody mission.

A few hours of extra exercise, a couple bottles of booze and a sexual release then he was done. He'd sleep and when he woke everything was back to normal. His mandatory counselling sessions, the kind they make you go to because you're a ruthless professional killer whom they don't want to snap and murder the wrong people, informed him this was wrong.

There were many theories as to his attitude, Anti-social Personality Disorder, Dissociative Personality Disorder, Narcissistic Personality Disorder and just about every other thing out there. He'd pretty much been gifted with psych evaluations giving him a diagnosis with every damn think in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. Which told him nothing but that the whole lot of them were fucking quacks.

He'd never taken that shit seriously. Why should he when all they did was contradict each other, try and tell him how he felt and basically pulled a whole load of bullshit out a manual? They complained incessantly that every week he attended his session and told them nothing of value or told them nothing but lies. Of course more than one therapist had accused him of being a habitual liar; to which he'd grinned and said 'hey if you got it, flaunt it. And I've got it'.

Of course the joke hadn't been appreciated. Psych evaluations didn't make a hell of a lot of difference on his life anyway. They didn't really care if he was out slaughtering puppies, kittens and children in his spare time as long as he didn't take out anyone they needed and still did his job right.

"You look really tired," Cloud said softly, a strange sense of concern filling the blond as he regarded what was almost tantamount to a friend with him. As it was he didn't have many friends in this life time. If he could get more inside knowledge, an excuse to 'get to know' Vincent, and make another friend of sorts by becoming friendly with Reno then he would.

"Are you okay?" Cloud asked knowing very well how Reno could be, and no doubt what his plans were. For a moment he felt a pang at the fact that he would be able to throw the redhead out of his bar after a few good drinks together.

Cloud's old life seemed so far away that he wasn't sure how he'd made it as far as he had in this one. He was already 12 years old, a full year under the age of consent into the Shinra army, but close enough for his forged age change to still be close enough to his body. It gave him what he was hoping would be enough time to save Genesis and Angeal before the end of the war.

Blue eyes swept the redhead again quickly causing the Turk to smirk whilst Cloud thought about the fact that Reno was now 18. He was officially legally allowed to go to a bar or a liquor store and buy out their entire stocks.

Not that he doubted they were turning the steel livered man away in the first place. After all, who would be crazy enough to say no to a Turk besides Tifa Lockhart and himself. Cutting a Turk off from their liquor was like asking a murderer to 'pretty please' stab that knife a little deeper.

Fucking stupid and suicidal.

"Yeah kid, I'm fine. You weren't just making a pass at me were you? Cos I'd have to turn you down, you're looking a bit too much like jailbait for my tastes. Not that I can blame you, I mean I'm pretty hot," Reno replied in a deflective and teasing manner.

"I'm thirteen," Cloud replied with a raised brow.

He didn't even need to question Reno's behaviour at that point. He simply knew Reno far too well to even bother wasting brain power on the small things. He'd forgotten the Turk was like that. In seconds he could have Cloud wanting to bang his head against the wall with all his teasing.

It wasn't that any of the shit that Reno said was anywhere near true. Or at least not entirely. He would admit that once or twice he'd looked at Reno in an appreciative manner. But that wasn't really something that meant a lot. He was always more of a look and don't touch person. Thoughts more often than not were never acted upon. It was just that Reno had the ability to be corny, incessant and almost entirely without scruples.

"I fucking knew you were jailbait," Reno replied triumphantly a grin curling over his lips in a feline manner as he relished his skill at reading people.

"Of course, it's not like I look like I'm that old," Cloud replied a twinge of annoyance bugging him as he thought about the fact that he looked even younger than he really was.

He'd had varying guesses on his age from everyone he'd come across all his life. At least when he'd had Mako he could blame that for the fact that he'd never seemed to age. What excuse could he give when they asked now; ah yeah - I ducked when they were giving out the short gene?

"What the hell are you doing out and about this early kid? Shouldn't you be sitting snug I bed for another eight hours or whatever you guys sleep in until these days?" Reno asked tilting his head curiously.

"No," Cloud replied shaking his head negatively and gesturing to his packed duffle sitting on the ground, "I'm heading to the Shinra Headquarters. I'm going to join the SOLDIER program."

"Oh, you're one of those then," Reno replied, his enthusiasm starting to wane a little now that he was thinking he was caught by one of those boring hero wannabe's.

"One of whom?" Cloud asked with a raised blond brow. He wasn't quite sure what Reno was getting at but knowing the redhead it was bound to be something blunt and offensive.

"Ever since that article went in every damn magazine around a few years ago the influx of wannabe hero's has been fucking ridiculous. You're all crawling out of every crack in the fucking sidewalk to have a little magic juice running through your veins so you can impress some damn girl," Reno replied with distaste on his face. It was clear the influx of crazed warriors was something with which Reno wasn't all that accommodating.

"I don't want to be a hero," Cloud replied with equal distaste on his face. He'd experience that life and all the movies and books in the world couldn't capture how glamorous it really wasn't. You gave and you gave and you gave until you had nothing left to give and the world still expected you to save the day for no thanks.

He couldn't really be called a hero at any rate; he'd never really succeeded at saving anyone. He'd been a rejected failure at every turn. It wasn't something he'd care to repeat, but the problem was inevitably he had no choice. He'd just have to promise himself this time around to do a better job than the last time.

"Then why the hell do you want to be a SOLDIER?" Reno asked incredulously, "Dreams and Honour."

Cloud laughed shortly getting the joke even though Reno wouldn't know that he did. He remembered Angeal through Zack, and he'd had a few of the same speeches from the puppy himself once his mentor was gone.

"No, I'm doing it for myself," Cloud replied unable to but almost wishing he'd been able to add that he was doing it so that he could keep the past/future from repeating.

"Fair enough, you know where to go kid?" Reno asked giving a nod in the direction of the Shinra Headquarters building.

"It's a giant fucking tower, I think I can figure out the way," Cloud replied with a hint of sarcastic blandness causing Reno to laugh.

"You know kid; I think I kinda like you. What's your name?" Reno asked with amusement.

"Cloud Strife," answered the blond.

"I'm Reno, and I'll tell you something you obviously didn't pick up on; I'm a Turk," Reno replied a gleeful feeling building up on the inside at his peculiar brand of teasing. It wasn't a big thing, but he couldn't resist what should be an easy target. Not that the difficult ones were any better off, he just put more effort in.

"I know," Cloud replied giving the Turk a 'what's your point' look.

"You're really something kid, but I'm fucking shattered. I'll see you 'round." Reno said before ambling off in the other direction with a contemplative look on his face trying to figure out the blonde anomaly. It was precisely the type of puzzle he'd keep picking at until he'd ripped it to pieces and figured out what was inside.

Oh yes, Reno would be seeing the funny little blond again.

Cloud grinned to himself as well, knowing that he'd be stuck in the man's mind for some time. They would see each other again. He'd known, posing such a challenge and an enigma as he did that there was no way his former drinking buddy would be able to resist. He was drawn to curiosities like a magpie to a shiny object. He was the perfect example of something Reno would find insatiably irresistible.

He gathered up his bag and resolutely made his way toward the giant garish building towering over everything.

~ 0 ~

Entering through the front door and heading to the reception desk Cloud smiled and spoke politely to the receptionist, "Hi, how are you? My name's Cloud Strife. I'm here to enrol in the SOLDIER training program."

"Hey sweetie, I'm good thank you" replied the receptionist leaning forward and smiling at the almost adorable blonde boy standing in front of her, surprised by the wonderful manners he displayed, "are you sure you want to do that? It's a pretty hard program and you look pretty young."

"I'm definitely sure. I came here all the way from Nibelhiem. Not to mention I'm thirteen which means I'm officially old enough to enter the program. Could you please help me?" Cloud asked softly asserting himself gently to the woman who had no doubt been dealing with grouchy bastards all day long. He'd always made it a habit to speak nicely to people when he was younger in his previous life.

"If you're sure young man, the enrolment process is still open for the latest intake. You head over to the elevator and take it all the way to level 20 where the interview rooms are. I'll call to let Elise know you're coming and she'll tell you where to go from there okay?" The receptionist replied with a smile gesturing to the elevators across the way.

He'd taken them before many times for many different reasons but he'd never had this much hinging on an otherwise insignificant moment in life. Even sneaking through the building to rescue Aerith hadn't been this crucial. At the time it had only really been her life on the line if he wasn't able to achieve his goal. Now in a funny sort of way his plans, and therefore the future of the world, were hinging on this moment.

With an anxious sigh the blond haired boy gathered up his duffel and made his way into the elevator. His finger depressed the appropriate buttons and with a hiss and a lurch he was on his way. It must have been the early hour, but surprisingly the elevator hadn't stopped once on his trip.

Granted he was only going to level 20 whereas last time he'd been a wanted fugitive breaking into the building to steal a coveted specimen. Which wasn't really an accurate portrayal of the intricacies of the Shinra Headquarters but what else did he have to compare it to.

His memory hadn't hinged on the transport he'd used to get places. He was just glad he could remember anything in the first place. Infiltration was hard enough with the limited knowledge he had of the way the small things worked. He could hardly imagine how difficult it would be if he had no knowledge of anything altogether.

The elevator lurched into place, dropping his stomach into his feet the way that elevators did. He couldn't help but swear the creators had made them that way on purpose just to inflict cruel and unusual punishment upon unsuspecting victims. Granted those same victims weren't deterred by the occurrence.

It made him wonder if secretly all people were at some degree or other masochists. There were plenty of things that we all did daily that were more about harming ourselves than helping. Drinking until you leave your liver for dead for instance.

Blue eyes narrowed thoughtfully as the boy got out of the elevator and made his way to the second reception desk. Only this desk seemed to be less reception and more of a secretary sort of deal. Vaguely he could recall how this ordeal worked. He knew that he would be given a bunch of forms to ask and then an interview would be conducted with a Turk.

Immediately afterward this would be followed by an appointment with the resident doctor for a medical analysis. When all that was done he'd be subjected to a final physical fitness test. Then he'd receive a verdict upon his submission or rejection.

With a mental snort Cloud considered the fact that he might actually have to apply for the Turks if he was to be turned down. In some aspects he'd have made a good Turk; his perfectionism and solo nature for instance. In others he'd have been terrible; his inherent goodness and mercy were a good example.

He made his way to the desk and greeted the office assistant politely only to be greeted with a bored monotone mumble and a set of paperwork. He was waved off to where a couple of seats sat in an askew formation to fill out the deed to his soul. Or at least that was what it felt like.

Glancing through the paperwork he couldn't help but notice that in the disclaimer section he was going to be forced to waive Shinra of all responsibility towards any death or maiming on his part. Which was code for 'if we really think you're useful we might chop the arms off another person and sew them to your sides to see if you can wield four swords and there's nothing you can legally do about it, ha-ha'.

He felt like a bit of an idiot signing all those papers, but he went through each one and filled out all the information he needed. It was more of an invasive process than he'd really remembered it being. Perhaps it had something to do with the more advanced mentality he had this time, but he thought that asking after his virginity was going a little far.

The point was soothed a little when it went on to ask about sexually transmitted diseases he might have contract, which was again far too in depth for his liking, but it still felt wrong. He felt violated; like they planned on auctioning his virginity off to the highest bidder for funding simply because he still had it and had 'unwittingly' signed it over.

If they asked him to drop his clothes slowly to some music he was going to run, planet be damned.

When every page had been signed, initialled or marked in some way Cloud made his way back to the desk and handed the stack of paper over. The receptionist glanced over the papers quickly before finally turning to look at him.

"Right, go down the hall and into the second door on the right. Someone will be along to help you shortly," instructed the office assistant with a sharp gesture down the hallway before looking back to her computer screen in a dismissive way.

Shaking his head at the attitude the woman displayed he made his way down the hall and through the door. He knew from studying the plans of the Shinra building that the tiny room he was waiting in, which oddly resembled a police interrogation room, was actually an observation room. The mirror on the wall to his right was really a large pane of two way glass.

Time passed and Cloud did nothing but sit in his chair and count inside his head. His eyes were narrowed in thoughtful concentration when the interviewer walked into the room. He'd been silent, focused and completely unconcerned no matter how long they left him alone. The first test had been passed with flying colours.

"Hello Cloud," Reno greeted with a smirk, having known that he'd meet the kid again.

He'd been pissed when he'd only managed to get a little bit of sleep before Tseng had called to tell him that all the other Turks were in the field so by default that left him to do the interviews. Seeing the blond haired kid again however more than made up for it. He'd get more of the pieces to his newest puzzle just by turning up to work and doing his job.

Officially a Turks job was to scout for talent in the ranks of SOLDIER. Just about anyone could enter the standard army; all it really required was physical fitness and the ability to follow orders. SOLDIER was different, they had to be good with tactics and thinking as well as having health and skill. Your mediocre gun bunny wasn't destined to be among the ranks of the SOLDIER program.

"Hey Reno, looks like you didn't get much sleep. How long have you been here?" Cloud asked looking at the Turk with mild concern. He wasn't going to much fun to be around later in the day once his energy ran out and he'd be left to hiss and snap at anyone who got in his way.

"Not too long kid, just got here in fact. I heard they had you in here and I thought; you know I think he'd like to see my pretty face again. What do you think kid, glad to see me?" Reno inquired with an amused grin.

Cloud shook his head with amusement as he regarded the Turk, "What do we do now?"

Reno pouted at the deflection for a moment, his fun ruined before grabbing a seat across the table from the blond, "Now kid, I get to ask you **all** about yourself."

"Great," Cloud muttered sarcastically. He knew this part would take forever and he just didn't have the patience.

"So, let's start at the beginning. I already know how old you are," Reno said watching Cloud's face for any indication of lying, which of course he was, only to find none, "So how about you tell me all about your childhood."

Cloud groaned and began dishing out all the altered facts he could fit in to answer every question Reno came up with. Much like the invasive questioning on the application forms Cloud was forced to answer Reno's questions too. He was questioned on everything from his schooling right up to his hygiene habits; did he brush his hair, how often did he shower, did he change his clothes…

The list of questions went on and on, Cloud making sarcastic remarks every now and then about the possible nature of the questions he was being asked. Finally after what felt like an eternity of soul searching he was given the all clear and sent ahead to the doctor's office.

Probably in an effort not to scare the shit out of every person who came into the program Hojo wasn't the person he saw. Instead Cloud met the podgier Doctor Hollander. The lab coat wearing man turned to Cloud and spoke softly.

"Hello, if I could ask you to please take a seat?" Hollander said with a quick wave to a rather hard looking chair whilst he gathered a few vials for blood withdrawal.

Cloud sat down and did his best to be co-operative during his medical exam. The doctor noted he had Mako in his system but Cloud was able to explain it away by telling him he came from Nibelhiem. His excuse was easily accepted as many of the villagers had been tainted in one way or another by the Mako up there.

The blond answered every question he was given with as close an answer to the truth as he could get without giving anything away. The worst had been the questions about his sex life, or lack thereof. He'd pointed out he was only thirteen, but the doctor had just raised his brows and continued awaiting the answers.

The only thing that had concerned the doctor was Cloud's size. He'd tried to explain that he was really small, and his build didn't allow for the type of muscle mass others seemed to be able to create. He wasn't sure how well his explanation was taken however, as shortly afterwards he was given a clean bill of health and allowed to leave. If his blood results came back with anything he'd be notified and dismissed at any rate.

The day was dragging on, mostly because of the monotony of questions, test and blind faith. It was with relief that Cloud made his way to the final stage of the application process; the gym. He placed his duffle on the floor and made his way to the centre of the room. He'd been informed he'd have to wait in the gym for his observer to come and observe him.

While he was waiting for his instructor to arrive Cloud began to stretch and warm up, progressing from there into a few simple kata's that he knew wouldn't be too suspicious to know. Finally he felt warm enough to do whatever he'd be asked to demonstrate.

Turning around Cloud almost jumped when he realized that Angeal Hewley was standing in the doorway of the gym. With a smile and a nod the man moved forward, "Very nice. It's good to see you took the initiative to get yourself ready."

Cloud an answering smile Cloud mentally applauded himself for passing yet another psychological test. There were so many little tests hidden in the big ones that he'd had to be very careful with just about every movement he'd made. Failure or success could hinge on as much as a slip of a fist, or as little as a breath. There was no telling with Shinra. Nothing was ever straightforward.

"I'm Angeal, first class SOLDIER in charge of admissions," Angeal said moving into a relaxed but ready stance as Cloud did the same.

The blond wasn't sure if Angeal had been his assessor last time. He knew the firsts traded on and off. It made sense for Angeal to do it though considering the big first was one of the most patient, wise and nurturing people in the SOLDIER program. Not that that really said a lot about him in comparison. Most of the SOLDIER's were impatient and active; most likely because the amount of Mako running through their veins made it hard to sit still. Perhaps it could had been a warriors conditioning too. He'd always had that problem as well.

Angeal hadn't wasted much time on pleasantries after that. He'd explained what was expected of the blond explaining the entry level fitness. He was briefed and then tested on whether or not he could meet the requirements.

With ease Cloud completed 35 curl ups, 15 press ups, 25 half squats, 16 back arches and 5 pull ups. When he was done his arms were burning a bit from tiredness but he was still feeling pretty good thanks to the training he'd done in the mountains before he came to Shinra.

The final step was completed when Angeal took Cloud out of the Gym and into the track behind the building. He was set up at the beginning whilst Angeal took a moment to set his timer up and then he was set to go. The run started and Cloud raced around the track, even with his short legs, finishing the set length of 2.4k in 12 minutes ; a full 2 minutes faster than he was given.

He didn't want to be too fast, because that would raise questions he didn't want to answer, and his shorter limbs did hamper him a bit. He was still 2 minutes slower than the desired amount of time for very serving officer however, and still 4 minutes shy of the top class level he'd been at previously.

With a panting sigh Cloud looked up at Angeal with a grin as he congratulated him on his success into the SOLDIER cadet program. He gathered up his items and made his way to his room. He'd made it to Shinra, and with only a little more time he'd be in the perfect position to start some work.

Whatever was coming his way, he was prepared.

* * *

Alright so that's all for now, please don't slaughter me. My day's been bad enough already considering I burst into tears, had a panic attack and went home without permission. Thanks for all the favourites and reviews I've gotten on this story so far. I can't wait to hear from you all again so you can tell me what you think.


	12. Save Yourself I'll Hold Them Back

Sorry this chapter took me so long. Not only did I have a flu for a week and a half but I had huge issues with writing this chapter. My Microsoft Word tells me the total time spent editing is; 35.3 hours. So yeah I was stuck XD Hopefully this is okay, there's a lot going on in this chapter.

_**Word Count**; 7000 words._

_________**Warnings**; Language again, violence...I think that's about it._

___________________**Disclaimer**; I unfortunately gave my rights to FFVII away this weekend when I was told the world was going to end. Damn._

This weeks chapter name is Save Yourself I'll Hold Them Back by My Chemical Romance from the album _Danger Days_: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys.

To all those who've reviewed and haven't had a review reply from me; sorry as some of you may or may not know reviews are showing up as 404 not found when you attempt to reply and some of you have private message disabled so i can't reply that way either so here's your review replies. If I missed you I'm sorry.

**GreenOnBlack - **Thanks for the review here's more for you xP  
**PipTheAlmighty **- Thanks for the support, my course leader for that week was a bit of a prick but I'm over it now. He's gone and we have a whole new course leader so I've moved on. But it's nice to know my fans love and support me ^^  
**ensis013 - **I agree with you about Vincent, Cloud and Sephiroth creating a room soley of brooding if they were together. I would like to say I won't make Cloud suffer but that would be a blatant lie as you're about to discover. I'm a terrible person I just love torturing him. I will admit I wish Cloud would just walk into the science department with that spiky head of his and stab Hojo in the throat...but perhaps that's overkill. I'm glad you like the Reno/Cloud interaction because there's more! I definitely did have a better week after the last chapter. Thanks.  
**Firefox **- Thanks for the review, I'm glad you like it.  
**Jia - **Super giddy eh? Glad you liked it that much. I was sad about the wolves too. Do they come back though? I don't really know at this point, they're such a small point of the plot that I haven't thought that far ahead yet. Maybe?

* * *

**Rewind**

Chapter 10

**Save Yourself I'll Hold Them Back**

With a sigh Cloud checked his bunk out warily, his muscles aching deliciously from the harsh treatment he'd given them. It took a lot to make him feel this tired; not only had he been doing the training he'd been given under the form of the cadet training program but he'd been working on his own stuff as well. Things here were a lot different from being at home.

For Cloud the training he'd started at home never stopped. When the day was over and the other cadets sat down to work on their history of Shinra homework or their strategy in the field homework Cloud worked on blueprints. Now that he was in the building he had access to the blueprints of the Shinra building and with a little effort he was slowly transposing those general access blueprints into the restricted access blueprints.

It had taken a lot of time and effort on his part; the greater part of the month he'd been ion Midgar actually. However slowly an accurate map was forming on paper. Of course he couldn't keep such important papers where anyone could come across them so he'd taken to storing them the one place that no one would ever think to look; in the taxes section of the library behind the shelving.

Luckily for Cloud's plans there was a poorly made join in the carpeting at that point which he was able to utilise for his needs. He drew on the delicate tracing paper all evening and when curfew was about to hit he folded the paper and slid it under the carpeting. Of course a few hours later when the library was firmly shut Cloud put his skills to use.

The library was one of the few buildings on the training facility that hadn't updated to electronic locks when the Shinra Corporation had made that technology prominent in their building. When the tower was first being created the library had been somewhat like the foreman's office and when the company had discovered they could cut costs by keeping the building by turning it into a permanent fixture they had.

For all Shinra was a multibillion Gil corporation they were often more than a little cheap when it came to the spending of their finances. If they could get away with cutting a little cost somewhere then the chances were good that they would. They served food to their general army and cadet population that almost seemed to have come straight from the upper plate garbage skip.

Not to mention the poor state of the training equipment they provided. It seemed that all the weapons had come from the SOLDIER facility having been handed over because it had cracks, bends or all out breaks. More than one cadet had fallen afoul of the substandard equipment they were given in the month since Cloud had joined the program.

And then there was the harassment he'd faced. Given his build and looks Cloud had been expecting to be relentlessly pursued by many of the men in the building. He'd been fine for the first couple of days in the building; everything had been new and different for the cadets. They'd been too busy adjusting to such a new and arduous environment to deal with Cloud too much. However after the second week the harassment began.

It started slowly at first; simple jokes and mocking in the showers or the barracks about his prettiness or his feminine figure. The situation rapidly escalated however when the men began to get stressed enough to want a little sexual release they couldn't get elsewhere. Although Cloud was quick to prove his skills and to reject the remarks he wasn't left alone any more this time than he had been last time.

Previously as a cadet Cloud had been harassed fiercely by the men around him. They'd taken liberties that the petite boy hadn't been able to stop. He'd been groped, mocked and generally belittled in just about every way possible. In slander alone he'd been royally screwed by his peers.

This time around however things were different. He was stronger, wiser and by far smarter than anyone around him. He'd yet to come across any of the tougher SOLDIER's in his ventures around the facility that would cause him trouble. Luck had been, and he could only hope in that area, would endeavour to remain on his side.

Of course when the blond wasn't attending class, working out or practicing his cartography skills then he was doing the other thing he had to do. He was figuring out the schedules of all the important people in his plans. He'd started to follow around the first people he needed to figure out; Angeal, Genesis and Sephiroth.

Of course the safest and best place to start with his surveillance had been Angeal. He was bound to be the least suspicious and volatile if Cloud was caught. He didn't have the clearance to go some of the places he'd need to in order to follow the top three SOLDIER's around the facility so he wasn't exactly inconspicuous. He'd managed to go undetected so far by following Angeal who mostly stuck to areas easily accessible by the slim blond.

All in all Cloud had discovered that mostly Angeal was a very boring person. He went to work when he got up in the morning and he trained from 6am-8am every morning irrelevant of the day. Then he spent all day doing paperwork, going on missions or working with the cadets. In the afternoon the SOLDIER first class usually made his way to Sephiroth's apartment where he met with Genesis and Sephiroth for what the blond could only assume was dinner and drinks.

Of course now that the SOLDIER had been pinned down as much as one could pin down the habits of someone who at any moment might disappear for a long term mission it was time to move on. For the last few days Cloud had been planning and plotting about how to follow Genesis around.

The fiery redhead was a much harder target, being infinitely more suspicious and explosive than Angeal. Thanks to his capricious nature he was also the hardest to really figure out. From what he'd seen so far by following Angeal the redhead wasn't one to develop too much of a routine. Sure he did mostly the same things every day as did all SOLDIER's; paperwork, training, lunch and missions, but he never did anything in the same order. Even Angeal sometimes had trouble pinning his elusive friend down.

He'd done more than enough for the day however. He had no plans to hang around the facility any longer and follow people around. For today his round of stalking was over. How proud would his mother be to know that? She'd give him a good slap upside the head if she knew what her son was up to. Not the saving the world part of course; that would get him a serious scolding and several good whacks with his mother favourite spoon.

~ 0 ~

With a sigh Cloud got up, gathered his toiletries and made his way to the bathroom to get cleaned up. Or at least that had been his plan until he'd collided into a redhead. Luckily, or unluckily depending on how you looked at it, he hadn't crashed into Genesis. Instead Cloud's face had the misfortune to collide at high speeds with the firm bony chest belonging to none other than the redheaded Turk Reno.

"Sorry kid," Reno said looking down to see who he'd crashed into only to grin at the sight of the blond kid he'd met on his way to Shinra. He'd had the good fortune to see the kid again when he'd filled in for Tseng taking the recruitment interviews and now here they were again.

"Ow…" Cloud mumbled looking up at Reno from where he was almost pressed flat against him. He felt slightly dazed for a moment.

"Of all the ways to meet kid, we gotta keep meeting like this. I'm sure you're doing this on purpose. Is this your way of saying you like me? I realise that I'm undeniably sexy and all, but we should at least get a room if we're gonna be together like this," Reno said with a teasing smirk.

"What?" Cloud asked in confusion before looking down at the way they were pressed together and blushing before pulling back from the redheaded Turk in embarrassment, "Sorry. I was just heading out for a shower."

"Ooh, is that an invitation spiky?" Reno asked, his grin growing even wider with mischief.

Clouds blush grew even more pronounced as Reno took advantage of every opening he found. He'd truly forgotten how bad the Turk could get when he decided to play with someone. Even in his past life it had been some time since he'd managed to get on Reno's hit list. He'd been considered too dull without enough reaction previously to be too much of a target. The last time the Turk would have made Cloud the butt of the joke would have been before he contracted Geostigma.

"Not particularly Reno. Was there something you wanted? I'm sorry I hit you, I was just really lost in my own thoughts," Cloud answered his cheeks still flushed with colour.

Reno smirked some more, his grin turning into more a lascivious leer as he made another sexual connotation "Oh really, and what may I ask were you thinking about that was such a _hard _topic to ponder?"

The blonde felt as though he was banging his head against a mental wall in frustration. A grin of annoyance and embarrassment crossed his face. He might be the cool and unshakable warrior when he wanted to be, but situations such as this had never been his forte.

Any chance he'd had at building a normal sex life had pretty much been eradicated in his previous life between the loss of his teen years through experiments. Then he'd immediately become entangled with AVALANCHE and saving the world from Sephiroth. And just to be even more cruel fate had given him Geostigma.

His lack of a sex life had made him more than a little flustered when confronted with blatant sexuality. Unfortunately Reno was known for his sexual nature and mischievous ways. Not that the crimson haired man was a whore by any means.

If anything he was quite picky about who he slept with. It was just the fact that he was freer with his words and sexuality than most were. He didn't shy away from saying what he was thinking, even if it was outrageous or kinky. He just said it and sat back to watch the reaction his words caused.

Cloud jerked back as a cool breath of air breezed of his ear lobe his mind jerking back to the here and now, "Oh whatever you were thinking about must have been a pretty good topic indeed. You've made me curious. Feel like – _sharing_?" Reno asked his voice almost a sultry purr.

If Cloud hadn't been blushing already he'd certainly have been after that remark and the closeness of the red haired Turk. As it was his cheeks flamed anew and his face became almost as red as Reno's hair.

He could hair people down the hall who'd no doubt seen the space out and recognised the infamous Turk giggling and chatting softly about the situation. That knowledge really didn't help with the embarrassment running like liquid heat through his veins. He was fairly certain his whole body must be putting off so much heat that Reno would be able to feel it as close as he was.

"So silent, is that a yes?" Reno asked attempting to take advantage of Cloud's distracted silence. The lithe body of the Turk was so close now that with a mere deep breath Cloud feared that they might meld together, fall into each other and become one being. One incredibly messed up being.

"No," Cloud replied taking a step back only to find his back against the wall with a ferally grinning Turk slinking forwards.

All Cloud could do was stop breathing, his breath catching in his chest as he watched the Turk slink towards him. He didn't feel threatened or all that trapped so there was no cause to try and fight his way out of the situation. Not to mention he wanted to befriend the Turk no hurt him and make him suspicious. He was under enough scrutiny and danger as it was without a moment of stupidity adding to it.

He was stuck for what to do as Reno finally made his way all the way forward and slunk his thin form across Cloud's merely collapsing over him heavily. The blond was strong and fairly solid for his size and build but it was still rather startling, causing his legs to buckle a little for a second until he straightened up against the slight weight.

"Reno, your fat ass is heavy. Get off," Cloud mumbled against the man's shoulder.

"But Cloud, I'm tired and you're so soft and comfy. I just got back from a _big _mission," Reno replied with a whiny petulant voice.

"Like what? Delivering lunch to the President? Real big," Cloud replied with a sigh as Reno nuzzled into Cloud's shoulder attempting to make himself more comfortable.

"No, I was babysitting Rufus the little brat," Reno replied with a yawn his eyes starting to slip closed as he hugged Cloud tight like an oversized pillow. The blonde had no idea if the Turk would actually fall asleep standing there like that but since he had no doubt left to his own devices Reno would never move he tried to gently shrug the crimson tressed man off.

Naturally Reno was far too stubborn to fall for a simple gentle push. With a large heave Cloud finally pushed Reno off of him, the Turk stumbling and nearly falling to the floor with shock. Clearly he hadn't expected Cloud to be able to push him away in the manner he had.

Which was really too bad because although Cloud hadn't wanted to be that firm with the Turk he wasn't going to simply stand around all day whilst he was used as an oversized pillow. He had enough trouble with the other cadets without them witnessing such an embarrassing sight. Bad enough that Reno had already compromised him some with his closeness earlier.

"I'm going to go shower now Reno," Cloud informed the sulking Turk before gathering the toiletries he'd dropped on the floor when he'd first bumped into the Turk earlier. Shaking his head he waved goodbye to Reno and made his way to the showers trying not to remember the awkward feeling of Reno pressed up against him. A shuddering coil of something roiled in his stomach. He wasn't keen to repeat that any time soon. Public displays of affection just weren't for him, real or not.

~ 0 ~

Reno watched the blond go with a contemplative look on his face. The sulky childish look the schemer had worn only moments ago dropping away quickly to reveal his calculating face. Now that there was no one to see he dropped his mask and openly thought about the enigma the boy posed. He couldn't explain what it was about Cloud that made him so curious it was just something that he couldn't stop thinking about.

Of course the blond had in no way done anything overtly out of the ordinary for a young boy. In fact he'd reacted much the same as one would expect him to. There was just something about Cloud Strife that made Reno curious. There was just something that made the red headed man need to dig and pick at every fact he could dig up about the boy until every secret was his to know. Until he'd figured out everything one person could possibly know about another and the topic had run dry.

Rude would call it his obsessive compulsive tendencies taking action. Tseng would tsk and get that particularly bland look on his face before moving on. But he had to do it. He just had to. He couldn't let these things go. The need to pick and prod was like an insatiable itch that needed to be scratched. There was no way to rid himself of that need until he'd discovered everything there was to know.

He'd had a few such cases before. Mild little things that were easily resolved and taken care of in a short amount of time. This time however he had a sneaking suspicion that things weren't going to be that simple, nor all that easy this time around. There was something in those startlingly blue eyes of Cloud's that made Reno…he wasn't really sure exactly. The exact words for what he was feeling eluded him. It was kind of like curiosity and sadness and bitterness all mixed together.

Which of course made no sense because as the psychological assessment and background check had testified there didn't seem to be any reason for the blond to be exuding those feelings. He wasn't sure where it came from because the psychological assessment had shown focus, drive, determination and discipline.

His psychological profiling had shown more than a few desirable positive attributes and perhaps a hint of anti-social behaviour but what else was to be expected from an only child born in a small secluded town such as Nibelhiem. There no doubt hadn't been anyone close to his age that he could have played with as a child much like Reno had found when he'd lived in the slums.

The logic of it all confounded him. The facts he needed were so elusive. He'd thought and thought about it in the month that Cloud had appeared. He'd gone over and over the kid's file, even going so far as to do a bit of research on his own; calling residents of Nibelhiem and having a small chat with them.

The most informative had been the young girl he'd had a chat with called Tifa. Sweet sounding young thing. She'd told him all about how Cloud had been a reclusive smart child. He'd finished all the schooling he could by the time he was nine. At least all the schooling he could have done in Nibelhiem. As a nine year old, he was informed, Cloud most likely could have gone to one of the planets best universities and completed studies there with minimal difficulty.

At first the Turk had thought he was being lied to so he'd gone to the boy's mother for more information. It wouldn't have been the most brilliant choice to make normally as most mothers exaggerated their children's achievements and put them on golden pedestals. In the case of Nibelhiem however it was the only place to go since all teaching in that town was done by the parents. To add to his curiosity Rayne Strife only confirmed what he'd been told by the young girl Tifa Lockhart.

As Reno made his way through the halls towards the elevator he pondered the puzzle that was Cloud Strife. Even if it took him all year, this was one puzzle he was determined to crack.

~ 0 ~

Water dripped down his body in a steady stream as he turned the shower off and moved to grab his towel. It traced tickly paths down his body as he wrapped the stiff towel about his waist rolling his shoulders a bit to diffuse any remaining stiffness in from his body. He was distracted by his thoughts as he contemplated the red headed Turk unaware that at the same time the object of his thoughts was thinking about him.

More than likely it was that very distraction that led to Cloud taking the first hit in the gut. That very first blow was the move that took all the air from his body and left him hunched over gasping for air. Surprise was the key factor in his mind as he regarded the men leering at him. He hadn't expected something like this to happen this soon. He'd only been at the Shinra Corporation for a month, rather stupidly he'd become too goal orientated and hadn't been focused too much on the here and now. This would solve that error in his foresight.

With no air, his lungs burning like liquid fire, Cloud moved as quick as he could twisting to grab the hand of the thug that had punched him locking it up behind his back in a swift instinctive move. The manoeuvre was so harsh and fast that the sound of the limb cracking and breaking free from the socket was harsh and grating to his ears. His mind processed the sound but his body kept moving separately already moving to its next victim.

Much as Cloud had been taken by surprise when he'd taken his hit, the bullies who'd tried to jump him had been taken by surprise when he'd taken their friend out in turn. He recognised only one of them. It was one of the boy's he'd instantly marked as a petulant child the moment he'd first met him. He wanted to be the best, the biggest and the most triumphant.

His smarts mentally just weren't there however. More than once Cloud had shown him up in the schooling part of their training. The general army need only know how to point a gun and shoot; they were mostly cannon fodder so even accuracy hardly mattered to basic infantry. No doubt that was where these bullies would end up. None of them seemed particularly smart.

Perhaps he'd been too free with the breadth and depth of his knowledge. He'd thought he was doing well holding back in all his classes. He was good in his physical classes, but he'd made a determined conscious effort not to be top of the class. He made a habit in all of his classes of keeping an eye out for anything that was decidedly too far above average.

Cloud knew that the Turks scouted out of the SOLDIER program now that so much readily available fresh meat was about. They weren't exactly the type to take such a thing as free will into the equation once they wanted something. Not to mention he needed to keep any curious and suspicious minds away from him. Having Reno on his case was bad enough, even if it had been a calculated risk. So far it was a risk that had yet to pay off. He'd been in the building a month and he'd been able to manage little more than getting a triple encrypted coded message to Vincent.

His moment of mental distraction was again a point of trouble for him as the thick headed lugs he was facing took momentary advantage. Another sharp blow landed on his body, a thick meaty fist knocking him across the face this time in a double boxers snap. One blow landed across his lip and split his lip snapping his head aside and the other landing in quick succession on his temple and giving his head a sharp knock.

Cloud's eyes widened and his eyes began to glow a little with anger and healing as the Mako inside of his body took over trying to heal the wounds in his body as much as it could. Head wounds were something that took a while to heal, even with Mako. Unenhanced the blow to the temple had the high likelihood of being a killing blow. As it was the blond was fairly certain he was dealing with a mild concussion aided by mako and altered by mental illness.

Sanity became something that was to be forgotten to Cloud as he became nothing but a feral warrior seeking to take out the target that had taken him on. His mind screamed in an angry whirlwind that his enemies sought to kill him. Had tried to kill him. Would have killed him if he hadn't had Mako in his system. His unstable mind screamed for blood and pain in revenge.

His body moved fluidly out of synch and yet in synch with his mind as he fought a war with himself in his head. However the mental war was over and done so fast it was barely noticeable. His head was already in another place. He no longer saw the tiled floors and walls of the shower room inside the Shinra Headquarters.

In the place of the dingy bathroom he could see the heated ridges on the cliffs outside Midgar. He could feel the wind on his skin. The ground beneath his feet was soft and scratchy, kicking up clouds of dust that his every pore felt. Everything was different now, his mind, his memories had taken over his waking world as they used to in the last life.

The biggest change was the thugs before him. No longer were they shocked cadets that wanted revenge for some simple classroom humiliation; rather they were harried Shinra soldiers out to kill Zack and Cloud for escaping their fate as Hojo's specimens. They were unarmed so they posed only a minimal threat to him but he knew what happened here. What would happen here if he let it. Only this time around Cloud wouldn't let it happen.

The blond was breathing in sharp panicked pants, his pupils dilated in anger and fear as he stared at the soldiers. He wasn't going to let them kill Zack. The SOLDIER wasn't going to die this time. He would take him to Midgar to see Aerith. She'd never been meant for him. Any affection he'd felt for her in a romantic nature had quickly diminished the moment he realized he wasn't Zack.

"I won't let you hurt him!" Cloud yelled angrily staring at the assembled soldiers his mind telling him that there were only four when he knew that there were supposed to be hundreds, perhaps even a few thousand. He had to take these ones out because there would be more on the way. He had to get rid of them as fast as he could before they got rid of him and he wasn't able to help anymore.

"Hurt who you fuckin' little prick? You're the only one I see. We're gonna kill you for hurting Chambers like that. You really broke something you little shit," Growled one of the soldiers angrily.

Cloud shook his head ferally as he jumped out of the way of a slow punch. He was using the enhancement his Mako gave him now. He wasn't holding back anymore. These people were dangerous murderers. They were going to kill. They were going to kill **Zack**. They'd threatened to kill him. He had to fight.

Moving lightning fast Cloud ran forward and punched a pimple faced bully in the mouth. His head snapped back with the blow, aimed at his mouth in a semi-conscious effort not to kill, blood seeping from the thugs mouth as he dropped to the floor. With an angry smirk Cloud watched the bleeding man's eyes roll back into his head.

That left only two others standing to be taken down. He'd taken the first with a broken arm socket, and now the second with a brutal punch to the face. Cloud set glowing blue eyes on his third target the muscled soldier his brow furrowed in a determined grimace. Air was still a commodity to the blond and he winced and growled angrily as a stray punch pushed all the remaining air out of his stomach.

Reaching out with both hands Cloud caught the arm that extended towards him in another punch. With a hard yank Cloud pulled the man forward using his momentum against him, lifting his knee up and throwing the other combatant onto it winding him. With a grunt of effort the blond threw his opponent onto the floor following him down, using the force of gravity Cloud laid a punch against the face of the soldier. Blood flew everywhere as the soldier's nose broke and he passed out.

The final opponent whimpered and turned away to run. The dust on the ground flew up into the air, hazing Cloud's vision and causing him to pause and narrow his eyes a little as suddenly he found himself in the ruins of Shinra. His disorientated mind was unable to question the sudden change as he chased the warrior through the halls of Shinra.

Half way through the chase Cloud gave up, wandering around and staring at the walls as they dripped green with Mako. His eyes were wide and scared as he started to run the air in his lungs harsh and burning. He felt like he couldn't breathe as panic began to radiate through his system. The halls seemed to stretch on forever as he burst into a sprint towards the elevator.

He had to escape, he had to get away from all the Mako. It was dripping towards him and if it touched him he knew it would burn. It would burn and sear his skin and bones like acid. He didn't want to hurt. He didn't want to hurt anymore. Air whined in his throat as he threw himself into the bottom of the elevator huddling into the corner. It wasn't safe.

The elevator began to move upwards and Cloud jumped at the initial jolt as it whirred into action. His eyes widened as the door opened and he was left staring at a pair of leather pants. The breath that had already been rapidly whistling in and out of his chest shallowly froze in his throat as he looked up to Sephiroth.

The world swam before Cloud's eyes as his panic attack approached its height and he moaned a no before embracing the relief of sweet oblivion. Falling unconscious was a welcome alternative to the broken reality his mind had conjured.

~ 0 ~

Sephiroth looked down at the cadet collapsed in the bottom of the elevator in mild surprise. At first sight he'd thought perhaps it might have been a dare or something similar but he'd quickly decided that perhaps that wasn't the right conclusion. His perfect vision rapidly seized upon the signs that perhaps he wasn't here entirely of his own volition. The split lip which had nearly healed and the large bruise in the shape of a fist were fairly obvious indications the cadet had been hiding.

Of course the fact that the slim blond was covered only by a tightly wrapped towel about the waist was a fair indication. It also told the SOLDIER that something had happened in the shower block of the cadet hall. The boy was too young to be anything other than a SOLDIER cadet or a Turk and the Turk's had their own facilities elsewhere in the building and lived outside the Shinra Headquarters. He theorised that based on the fact that he was staring at the cadet collapsed in the bottom of the elevator there were bound to be others in the bathroom still.

He stared at the cadet for a moment with indecisiveness before deciding there was nothing else to be done. With a sigh he began gathering the small blonde in to his arms making sure to keep the towel on him. If he'd been anyone else he'd have blushed at the knowledge he was carrying a semi naked unconscious blond in an elevator for all to see. As it was he felt a slight sense of embarrassment but pushed it aside to focus on getting the cadet to the infirmary.

As usual people stopped and gawked at him as he passed, their attention drawn to him even more at the sight of the great General Sephiroth carrying a semi-naked youth. He dropped the cadet with the nurse in the infirmary letting the woman know he be back shortly to check on the young man and hear the prognosis.

When he was done in the infirmary he made his way to the showers calling Angeal to see if he'd heard anything about the situation. The burly first was considered the more personable authority. If something had happened and been found out it would be taken to Angeal before him. Nobody wanted to bother him unless it was ruled necessary, and Angeal was better at dealing with the young cadets than he was.

"Hello?" Angeal greeted answering his phone.

"Angeal, have you hear anything about the shower room for the SOLDIER cadets?" Sephiroth asked getting straight to the point, no hello or preliminary conversation needed.

"Yes I have actually, how did you know? One of the teachers called me and told me about an incident that happened down there. I'm just on my way down now to have a look," Angeal replied long used to Sephiroth's manner.

"I just took a half-naked cadet to the infirmary. He seems to have been in a fight. I found him huddled in the bottom of an elevator hyperventilating until he passed out," Sephiroth answered.

"You carried a cadet to the infirmary?" Angeal asked incredulously but trying not to show it.

"Yes," Sephiroth replied in a deadpan tone, "I'll meet you there in a minute."

With no more preambles Sephiroth clicked his phone shut and ended the conversation. Angeal and Genesis knew well that he wasn't one to hang around for lengthy goodbyes. He said his piece and got things over and done with as quick as possible. He didn't see any reason to stay on the line and make pleasantries. It simply wasn't the way he'd been raise. Angeal and Genesis had been working on it with him but clearly the process was slow.

As Sephiroth stepped into the shower room the atmosphere changed. Where previously the men inside had all been joking with Angeal they all snapped to attention. Salutes were snapped out in rapid succession and the air was filled with an awkward formalness. At least it was filled with an awkward formalness until Angeal stepped forward and spoke to him.

"Hello Sephiroth," Angeal greeted with a smile.

"Angeal," Sephiroth answered with a nod, his silver hair wavering with the movement.

Getting straight to the pint Angeal began to tell Sephiroth about the situation, "We have three injured SOLDIER cadets here. One has a dislocated shoulder and a broken socket, probably from a wrenching twist behind the back. The second cadet has a few broken teeth, a split lip and a concussion. The third has a broken nose, a concussion, some broken teeth and a split lip. They're all going to be sent up to the infirmary for treatment. A simple cure materia won't fix all this."

Sephiroth nodded surveying the area and looking for more evidence, "Do we know what happened in here? From what I can tell these three attempted to jump the cadet I found in the elevator once he got out of the shower."

"No, that's all we know for now. There were no witnesses and none of the boys involved have regained consciousness yet. We'll deal with their discipline once we get the full story on what happened," Angeal answered shaking his head at Sephiroth's question.

"I'll see these cadets, I'm curious about the blond I met in the elevator. There's something about him. I'm going to have a chat with him," Sephiroth said glancing away thoughtfully. He wanted to know what happened. He was insatiably curious as to how the blond SOLDIER cadet ended up having a panic attack in an elevator wearing nothing but a towel.

Angeal looked sceptical and a little confused but let Sephiroth join the medical staff in taking the injured cadets up to the infirmary. On the upside at least with the silver haired man by their side there was no chance that the small procession would get bogged down by curious bystanders. There wasn't anyone other than Hojo, Genesis and Angeal who would stand in Sephiroth's way when he wanted to go somewhere. Not even the president would openly defy Sephiroth for fear of him.

When they made it to the infirmary Sephiroth let himself inside and sat down next to Cloud's bed messaging his assistant to get his paperwork and have it sent to him in the infirmary. Nobody wanting to anger Sephiroth the papers were delivered as quickly as possible and he immediately set to work reviewing more papers than there were trees in the rainforest near Gongaga.

~ 0 ~

Cloud awoke to searing white lights and a slightly fuzzy head. He did notice with a sense of relief however that he wasn't hallucinating or acting insane anymore. He was as far as he could tell where he was supposed to be. He vaguely recognised this place and it didn't seem to be in connection with any of his bad memories.

Getting up the strength Cloud blinked and turned his head only to be greeted with a sight that about stopped his heart in his chest. Sephiroth was doing paperwork at his bedside, his face screwed up in concentration. He tried to catch his breath only to have it hitch in fear and catch the silver haired warriors attention.

"Hello Cadet," Sephiroth greeted softly motioning a nurse over.

The nurse leant over Cloud catching his attention suddenly and making him jerk back in surprise.

Blue eyes were opened wide in shock and the nurse smiled at him as she spoke, "Hey there sweetheart. Don't worry if you're a bit confused. You have a mild concussion so that's normal. Now that you're awake we can use a potion to ensure that you heal a little faster. Unfortunately we can't use a cure materia on a concussion so you'll have to deal with that a little bit longer. You've also got a split lip, but that's nearly gone now. You're a pretty fast healer aren't you love?"

Cloud spared a glance at Sephiroth again wondering why he was there and when he was going to leave. The nurse smiled at him and nodded, "Sephiroth himself has been sitting here all afternoon looking after you? Do you remember what happened? How you got here?"

"I was…attacked in the showers and I ran away," Cloud replied with a frown and then a blush as he remembered running through what he'd thought was the cliffs outside of Midgar and then the ruins of the Shinra building in nothing but the towel he'd wrapped himself in after his shower. He was lucky that the towel had stayed on at all. It would have been just his luck to run down the hall in a towel and have it fall off leaving him running around the facility naked. Sometimes being insane sucked.

"Who attacked you and why did it happen?" Sephiroth asked firmly staring at the blond with stern green kitty slitted eyes.

"I don't know them. They were just some cadets from my class. They jumped me because I was doing better than them in classes we were taking. They were jealous of me I guess," Cloud replied unable to look away from Sephiroth's entrancing eyes.

"I see, then you were the one that hurt them all? You hurt them in self-defence then?" Sephiroth asked thinking about the papers he had been looking at knowing that whilst Cloud was an average student the people he had beat up were rather strong physically. It was a surprise even to him to know that the blond had taken them down all on his own.

"Yeah, I guess," Cloud replied lifting a hand to his head to rub the spot where he'd received a sharp rap on the temple.

"They are all here in the infirmary. One has a dislocated shoulder and a broken socket, probably from a wrenching twist behind the back. The second cadet has a few broken teeth, a split lip and a concussion. The third has a broken nose, a concussion, some broken teeth and a split lip," Sephiroth replied.

Cloud's eyes widened and he bit his lip as remorse ran through him. He really hadn't meant to cause that much harm to his opponents. He simply hadn't been in control of himself and the actions he had taken had corresponded to that. He'd felt that they were out to get him. He'd thought they were going to try to kill him and so he'd tried to take them out before they took him out. At least he hadn't killed them.

He'd felt so threatened in his confusion that he'd cause so much damage to the other cadets it mentally wounded him. They were just kids really. They were just kids who didn't know what they were doing. They were kids who didn't know any better. He could only but hope he hadn't cause any permanent damage. To them, or to himself and his plans.

Cloud glanced at Sephiroth standing next to his bedside studying him thoughtfully. Perhaps his hopes for anonymity were over now. He wasn't sure where he stood with Sephiroth right now, but he wasn't sure the silver haired man would just forget him.

* * *

Thanks for reading guys, please take the time to read and review I really appreciate it. Until next time!


	13. Chariot

Oh wow, I am so sorry, I never meant to take this long but a lot has been going on in my life. Lets see; I've officially stopped therapy due to the cost, I'm finishing course where I've been studying and working as a tutor and duty manager, I've just enrolled for my uni Psychology course, I've suffered five panic attacks in the last two weeks from stress, I've had a non-stop headache for the last few weeks, I've discovered I'm bulemic based on my liquid fast diet, and I've been crippled by a huge sense of apathy. So to shorten it down, stress, angst and general busy life stuff.

Thanks to Kurai Ame for kicking me in a private message and basically puppy pouting her way into getting me to finish this chapter all in one go. I tapped out the remaining 4000 words to finish the chapter today in one sitting. Sorry if it's crap.

To all those who've reviewed and haven't had a review reply from me; sorry as some of you may or may not know reviews are now by private message and whilst I do appreciate them, if you don't have private message enabled I can't tell you how much I love watching you sleep. Just kidding. But no seriously, you need to enable private message or hope I remember in this section to say something. Reviews motivate me.

_**Word Count**; 6500 words._

_________**Warnings**; Language again, underage drinking, sexual implications...I think that's about it. Mostly work safe._

___________________**Disclaimer**; My rights were hacked and the 404 message tells me I don't own it anymore. Damn._

This weeks chapter title is by Chariot, and I thought it was funny. _Someday, in the Event That Mankind Actually Figures Out What it is That This World Revolves Around, Thousands of People are Going to Be Shocked and Perplexed to Find Out it Was Not Them. Sometimes, This Includes Me, by Chariot._

* * *

Rewind

Chapter 11

_Someday, in the Event That Mankind Actually Figures Out What it is That This World Revolves Around, Thousands of People are Going to Be Shocked and Perplexed to Find Out it Was Not Them. Sometimes, This Includes Me._

Early August

**Εуλ 1998**

For months after the incident in the shower room Cloud was on hyper alert, waiting for the other foot to fall and tell him what his actions had caused. He'd felt for sure that something big was going to happen. More than once since the incident Cloud had held the secret horror that Hojo would know where he was and come for him, experimenting upon this slim figure without restraint once again.

He'd thought that perhaps Sephiroth would remember too; that he would come for him in a fit of insanity when he remembered everything that Cloud had only hoped might never happen. They the silver haired man might make an attempt to finish the job he'd so frequently left unfinished in their previous lives.

There was so much that he'd brooded over and dreamt about in those few moments of sleep he'd managed to steal since the ordeal only a few months earlier. The blond haired boy had felt decidedly frayed at the seams and on edge ever since. As if he might at any moment keel over and not get up, not dead, but simply unable to carry on.

If he thought that it was at all possible for him to die of a heart attack after being so enhanced by mako and bolstered by the planet he might worry that the stress of everything would stop his heart dead and kill him.

Perhaps it was merely the stress of the situation that was getting to him. But then again, his mental problems, the inability of his mind to reconcile with the true depth of reality and process it into apt feeling might have more than a little to do with that too.

He'd seen nothing of Reno, the redheaded Turk for some time. He was fairly certain he hadn't seen the inquisitive man for anything bar a fleeting glimpse far away. He'd heard that the Turk had been on some rather missions as of late but paranoia told him that it might be something significantly worse than that. That perhaps somehow the very perceptive red head had learned his secrets.

Of course the idea that anyone was that perceptive was ridiculous. Of all the things to suspect that was a slim to none chance that Reno or anyone really would guess the truth. He was a reborn saviour of the planet brought back by the lifestream to stop a series of events from happening, enhanced before birth and living with a mission. What part of all that was even remotely guessable off the top of anyone's head was beyond perception.

With anyone other than a Shinra employee he mightn't have found that all that concerning, but then he hadn't seen much of Sephiroth either since their little chat in the infirmary. Although he was fairly certain that his training officers had been taking fairly detailed notes on his abilities. Notes which he had no doubt there was at least one person hovering over determinedly.

He'd never noticed his superior officers write so much before, and more often than not he caught them staring directly at him. Not that their actions were exactly covert, but then he supposed they merely assumed that he was their student, and why wouldn't they be watching him. If he was as innocent as he pretended to be then he ought not have any issues with the amount of work they were putting in beyond worrying about his own performance which was good.

Overall Cloud's anxiety levels had risen to an overwhelming high and he was starting to feel like he needed to do something to take his mind off of things. If Tifa still had the seventh heaven here he might have attempted a drunken stupor, rather unsuccessfully, but it would have been the effort of taking the action that would have distracted him.

He wasn't sure what he would do now; he felt the building need inside of him until it was threatening to be released from his body in an explosion of action. He needed relief from everything that was going on inside of him. It was unhealthy and completely abhorrent but normally he'd abuse himself until the point of stupidity when such a mood fell upon him.

The blond would close his eyes to the world and take his path in his own hands. When he became so conflicted and unsettled he would run. Run as far as he could in an attempt to outrun his problems. It never worked for very long, but it was those moments of relief that had prompted him to start his delivery business in the first place. Beyond the lucrative market the lack of alternative services due to the state of the planet posed of course.

He missed Fenrir more than anything. Of course he missed Tifa, Denzel, Marlene, and hell even the prickly Barret and Cid. He had Vincent now in a way at the very least. He'd managed to meet up with the Turk only once since he'd made it to Midgar. It had been short and sweet. Most of the communication that hadn't been about the mission had been silent. But then that was the way things always went with them.

Even back then in his last life.

With a sigh Cloud began to pace back and forth the inability to sit still when such moods struck him getting to him. With a growl of annoyance Cloud decided to damn himself to hell and grabbing a simple coat made his way out of the building. Of course the cadets were allowed off grounds on the days that they weren't training. However they wouldn't usually visit where he was planning to go.

He'd thought for a moment or two about visiting a bar somewhere and drinking until the Mako in his system gave in and he couldn't see any more. Actually he hadn't totally ruled that out as a possibility but there was something else he wanted to do today. He missed the liveliness of the world. He'd become spoilt in his travels around the planet in his previous life. Living in a place like Nibelhiem had just made his coddling worse.

It was stifling up there on the plate Cloud couldn't help but think as he sat on the train heading down into the slums. Mako eyes lifted through grimy windows to silently regard the sky. Or at least what one might call the sky in Midgar. Mostly the air above the shining city was a hazy mess of clouds through which the sun shone in refracted rays.

The refined mako being burnt up as energy made the sky above the city that much prettier at sunset and sunrise as it manipulated the burnt light into dancing ambers and reds on the horizon. At any other time however it simply made the air cloying and thick. Even the rain that fell from the sky to litter the streets of the upper plate was tainted with it.

People who had lived in Midgar all their lives might not notice it, nor did those who were exposed to such a thing for a long period of time. It simply became another fact of life. As with many things in Midgar, it was just another unavoidable part of living in such a 'safe' and technologically advanced city.

Cloud noticed however. He could almost see and feel it. He could feel the taint upon his skin like an oily film. No matter how much he washed and scrubbed in the shower it was a taint he would never be free of. He would be perpetually dirty.

When the rain fell upon him he could almost taste the acrid substance in his mouth and throat. It felt as if by merely breathing in the condensation in the air he was being permeated with it much like a diluted version of a mako tank. It was abhorrent, disgusting, invasive and altogether infuriating.

The very world was pressing in on him. It was folding and collapsing like a house of cards slipping as it began to fall. He felt almost claustrophobic. The air was closing in around the train as they dipped below the line of the plate circling around and around until they finally made it to the slums.

And yet that still wasn't where he wanted to be. Albeit the air here oddly less toxic and thick. A stupid idea which made no sense due to the stifled air below the plate. It was thick with the stench of humanity, rather than the stench of inhumanity the he found up above. Lives were lived down there in the slums, crawling about in the mess and muck left to them by the ambivalence of those 'higher' than them.

The whole idea made Cloud sick. He yearned for the days of Edge, where they all had nothing, and life was lived on the same level. It wasn't all proverbial bullshit and higher than thou attitudes. He felt sorry for the people he saw as he moved through the slums. They seemed so strained, so much older and harder worked than the people who lived atop the plate.

With a sigh of regret Cloud wondered if perhaps it was a good thing that meteor and holy had collaborated to destroy this place. If perhaps he wasn't doing the world a disservice by stopping all the events he was slated to stop. Wouldn't the world be a better place if he allowed Shinra to fall, the plate to twist and warp and the populace to seek a new home?

Sometimes the self-doubt and the lack of clear direction ate at him until he felt so confused and trapped it hampered his breathing. But at least now he was out of the Shinra barracks. He was among the world and moving. He still felt hemmed in and trapped but as he made his way through the districts he started to feel more relaxed.

Like a vice his breath was squeezed out of his chest as he stopped to regard Aerith's church. The old building was much the same as he remembered it. The roof was sagging and collapsed in places. With a smile he entered the dilapidated yet familiar building.

Aerith wasn't here yet, she had only been in Midgar a few years and no doubt couldn't travel this far on her own yet, but it was still the same. Except for the garden in the middle of course which would require the power of the last living ancient to thrive.

The boards were already ripped up in the middle baring only a light scraggy scrub and a light layer of dust and dirt. His mind mentally filled in the garden as he regarded it, summoning the images of the green basin being filled with water shortly thereafter. His lips twitched into a fond smile as he crossed the room to stand directly in the middle of the broken circle of boards.

His eyelids began to feel heavy as blue eyes gazed the familiar surroundings. He'd spent such a long amount of time sleeping in the church once Geostigma had hit him that he couldn't help but feel comfortable in the environment. Cloud couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so relaxed, even though the last time he'd physically been in the church had been at the time of his suicide.

The blonde's mind was almost quiet as he sat on the floor and scooted into a curled laying down position. It was awkward, and shouldn't have been comfortable, but for the first time in so long the weight of the world wasn't pressing down on him. He was being served a gentle reprieve, and no matter how long it was planning on lasting he was determined to take advantage of it.

Closing his eyes in anticipation of a few moments rest Cloud slept.

~ 0 ~

The sound of light snickering awoke Cloud from his restful sleep. A gentle smile curved his lips as he awoke from the land of dream. Blue eyes, lightly hooded by thick lashes lifted to drowsily regard a familiar figure.

"I wondered when you would pop up again," Cloud said with a gentle shake of his head in the effort to clear away the cobwebs of sleep.

"You know blondie, you're pretty sexy when you sleep," Reno replied with a grin.

"That's nice, and why may I ask were you watching me sleep? I'm just a SOLDIER cadet, I don't think there's anything that interesting about me that would require you to observe me while I'm resting. I know I don't sleep talk, Mom wouldn't have put up with me otherwise she's such a light sleeper. What on earth would be so interesting about that then?" Cloud asked, covertly trying to ascertain whether Reno really did have a concerning reason to be watching him or whether the red head was just being his usual creeper, stalker self.

"I watch you sleep all the time Cloud, you should know that. After all, you're my sexy little blonde," Reno replied in the teasing manner he had been since they'd first met, adding a 'subtle' wink to the statement.

"Naturally, perhaps I should clarify my statement then Reno. What is it that made you decide this would be a good time to stand over me and watch me sleep. It's kind of creepy you know," Cloud answered rolling his eyes at the Turk as he tried to ignore the way in which Reno turned everything into an innuendo.

"I'm hurt Cloud, you mean you don't like me?" Reno said his face crumpling in mock sadness, "You think I'm creepy?"

"Yes, and you're also rather annoying, so perhaps you could get to the point then?" Cloud replied not bothering to shield the other conversant.

"I was passing by earlier actually and I saw you go in. I was on the job though so I couldn't stop to say hi. It's been a while since we had the time for a nice chat though so when I finished up earlier than I thought I figured I would come by and see what you were looking for in here. The slums aren't exactly a popular tourist destination," Reno answered as seriously as he could when he was around other people.

"Imagine my surprise when I find a spiky headed blonde asleep on the floor in the middle of an old church. You're such a country boy, coming down to the slums to sleep in the dirt. I get that the barracks aren't that comfortable, but you couldn't have thought of anywhere else to sleep?" The red headed Turk continued.

Cloud found himself blushing a little as he got to his feet, brushing the dirt off of his clothes and wishing the Turk hadn't disrupted his sleep. He felt truly like the country bumpkin when his little venture was phrased the way Reno had suggested it. He hadn't realised fully how odd going to sleep in the dirt sheltered by a church hidden in the slums of Midgar was.

Of course he should have had an idea by simply saying it.

Reno leered lasciviously at the blond as he took in the dirt covered cadet futily trying to brush the grime covering away. He couldn't see it and Reno could, which was partially what prompted him to lend a hand. Mostly. And it was most certainly not the fact that Cloud had a fair patch of dirt on his bum, and it was an average excuse to cop a feel.

"Let me help you with that," Reno said with a grin and stepped behind the slim blond and began caressing the dirt away from his hair.

Long fingers slid through the blond strands and marvelled at their softness. He'd thought for sure that Cloud must use gel or spray, or perhaps hair glue. He'd felt pretty damn near certain that some type of product was used to get such a ridiculously gravity defying and spiky style. And yet as his fingers carded the strands gently they didn't snag and get caught in vicious knots.

Cloud stood tense and still as the red head ran his hands through his hair and then slowly down his body with gentle movements. The Cloud of this time was a complete and utter novice when it came to such loaded caresses. He'd had little to no sexual experience in his previous life either. Although he was fairly certain that Reno wasn't serious about it or anything and was merely taking advantage of a situation presented to him.

The blush Cloud had sported when Reno had questioned his little nap in the dirt returned with burning ferocity. It spread from his cheeks down his face to his ears as the sultry Turk touched his ass causing him to jump in shock. Naturally Reno had to be a smart ass and laugh about it before copping another more firm feel before returning to the dirt.

When all the dirt that was able to be so easily banished had been brushed away Reno leant forward and whispered in Cloud's ear, "You know blondie, you've got a pretty nice little body under these baggy clothes."

Cloud snorted and turned to look over his shoulder at the red head with a raised eyebrow. Reno merely laughed, copped another feel to make Cloud's blush flair up again and stepped away. Red flushed the blonde's face again making him feel hot and awkward as he surveyed Reno again, wishing not for the first time that the incorrigible flirt had some semblance of boundaries.

"Lovely Reno, just lovely, but could you either to go the point or maybe just leave?" Cloud asked getting exasperated with the conversation that just didn't seem to be going anywhere.

"Well I was thinking about you this morning, I've gotta have something to when I'm filing reports you know," Reno said with a wink that informed Cloud that he was probably inferring something dirty with that statement, "And I thought about something important, and when I looked up your file I realised that today is your birthday Cloud! Happy Birthday Cloud, you're fourteen now you damn jailbait you!"

Cloud grinned at the knowledge that he was actually only thirteen, and as far as he was aware, nobody had noticed. He'd been reclusive enough that nobody in his home town would argue the age he'd given Shinra even if they'd been able to get past their dislike for the company. Even his own mother had promised to swear blind when he asked her that he was a year older than he actually was.

"Thanks," Cloud said turning to leave the church without even looking back, an amused smile forming on his lips as he heard footsteps jerk after him until the long legged redhead met and matched his pace walking beside him.

"So what else are you planning to do for your birthday other than take a dirt nap in the slums? You're lucky someone didn't attack you," Reno said looking at the blond.

Cloud just turned his head a little to look at Reno, his face impassive, before looking away again and continuing his silent walk through the streets. For the Turk this was too much of a curiosity to pass up. He'd been too busy with work and several other small things that he hadn't had the chance to see the blond in a while.

Cloud didn't know half the amount of times that he was checked on by Reno. Or at least Reno didn't know that he knew at any rate. The red head was secure in the knowledge that his blatant sexuality was the perfect cover for following or staring at anyone too much. If he felt they were starting to get suspicious he merely pulled a lascivious leer and made a dirty comment. Before anyone knew what was happening everything was forgotten and he was merely the kooky sex fiend again.

It was when they boarded the train together that Reno finally thought of something they could do. His lips quirked up, it was completely naughty, and illegal, and of course it would be unutterably fun. He could invite the kid back to his room and they could have a couple drinks. It would be interesting to see if the blond loosened up if he was drunk.

There was no way that Cloud would have gone back to Reno's place to have a couple drinks, or even in general really at this stage in their somewhat tenuous friendship. If you could even call it that, it was certainly the least fucked up way of describing their relation to each other. The Turks were infamous for their parties, and Reno most of all.

"Hey blondie, I just had a brilliant idea. I have a couple bottles of booze at home-"

"By which you mean half a liquor store?" Cloud asked interrupting the red head who pouted at the disruption, "Fine, yes, continue then."

"I was thinking that there's a few people who you might be interested in meeting and we could party a little. A few drinks, a little music. You can't have had that much fun so far since you got here. Other than terrorizing a locker bathroom and running half naked through the halls," Reno said with a lecherous grin.

"You know about that?" Cloud asked despite an embarrassed voice in his head screaming that of course he knew about it, he was a Turk. That was what Turks were paid for after all, to know everything and to take care of inconveniences.

"Who doesn't Cloud. I just can't believe that you met Sephiroth in an elevator half naked, and he carried you to the medical ward without stopping for a bit of fun first," Reno said with laughter in his voice and a grin on his face, "I can't decide if he has the patience and honour of a saint, or the libido of Hojo."

Cloud shuddered at the mere thought of Hojo's libido, "Gross, I really didn't need that thought in my head. I've seen him wandering the halls muttering to himself the grease ball wack job."

"Yeah, well I know if I'd had you half dressed in my arms and out cold I wouldn't have taken you to the medical facilities. I'd have taken you to my room, copped a few good feels, and then when you woke up I'd have enamoured you with my heroics and we'd have fucked-" Reno was abruptly cut off.

Muffled _mmff mfff_ noises were coming out of the red heads covered mouth as he attempted to continue his line of speech. The few other passengers in the car were glancing at the pair with strange looks on their faces.

Cloud's line of thought was immediately cut off as he drew his hand back in shock gazing at the wet glistening appendage.

"You licked my hand," Cloud noted with a slightly disgusted look on his face while a mental string of 'ewws' ran through his head.

"You put your hand there, if you don't want me to lick it then don't put it there," Reno replied childishly, adding to the image by poking his tongue out at the confused blond sitting next to him.

Luckily Cloud was spared the indignity of having to think of a reply to that extravagantly witty retort as at that moment the doors to the train opened. With no small sense of relief on Cloud's behalf the pair got up and made their way out of the train into the sudden noise of the outside world.

"So what do you reckon Cloudy? Wanna party with the Turks at my place?" Reno asked with a grin on his face trying to goad the blond into coming.

Although Reno sensed that Cloud wasn't exactly the party animal type, it was no lie to say that many people would love to be asked to one of their parties. Let alone to be asked to be the main figure at one of the infamous Turk parties. They were almost a thing of legend.

At the last Turk party Tseng had been molested by several half drunk co-workers after a misplaced bet against Reno. He'd felt a sense of pride as they'd staggered their attempts to seduce the man only to fail at every turn. They were oblivious to their own short comings in the case of seduction. Normally they were very adept at picking people up. For the sake of their jobs the often had to be.

He'd known of course that which they hadn't; Tseng wasn't partial to women, and only occasionally dabbled in men that fit his likings. He was into blond or red hair, grey, green and blue eyes. And of course he liked his partners lean and supple, not muscled and firm.

A few of the women almost fit his liking but missed the all important equipment to close the deal. He'd sat back and watched as they tried and tried, and when they'd exhausted all their efforts he got to his feet and plied his own wit to situation. In seconds flat he was locked in a deep and heated kiss with his superior which both of them, and more than a few onlookers, enjoyed thoroughly.

The women were very disappointed that night. Of course by morning it was all put down to Reno being a sex fiend and set aside.

The party before that he'd managed to get a game of strip poker going that essentially boiled down to a porn by the end of the game. Every player was damn near naked, and each was trying to put off another by providing a very pleasing distraction. And of course Reno had enjoyed every second of it.

"Fine, will you shut up if I go to this stupid party with you?" Cloud replied contemplating the networking opportunities of the party.

He'd heard the rumours this time too, not to mention the tales he'd been told by the inebriated red head in the previous life as well. He knew what kind of people showed up at these parties, and what kind of activities happened at them. He knew, and was hoping to use it all to his advantage.

~ 0 ~

Even though it was late notice, and quite frankly not very many people knew who Cloud Strife was in order to want to celebrate his birthday a fair few people made it to the red heads party. Of course a few people recognised him as the SOLDIER cadet that had been found half naked running the halls only to be carried to the medical bay by Sephiroth himself.

Somehow Reno managed to scrounge up a cake from somewhere. He hadn't seen him go to the shop to get it so he could only assume that he'd called and had someone make it. A delicious decadent chocolate goodie that Cloud couldn't stop himself from eating.

Reno had brought it out and Cloud had laughed. His face was caricatured on it oddly and his name was a bit shaky as though the red headed man had attempted to ice it that way himself. In fact he had no doubt he had. Fourteen candles burned in the top as they whole room sung 'Happy Birthday' to Cloud.

It was funny and delightful and Cloud couldn't help but draw parallels between this party and the parties of his childhood back home and laugh. They were nothing alike. The parallels were so far apart that it was laughable.

The difference was severely highlighted when someone found the music and cranked it up. Drinks were cracked and bodies immediately began to pulse and gyrate as the lighting was dimmed with a mood lighting switch. Cloud had laughed and remarked to the red head that of course he would have mood lighting in his house.

Oddly enough he felt more comfortable here at these parties than he did at any other party he had attended before. He was handed a drink and with a shrug began knocking the alcohol back with little qualms. What did it matter, the mako in his system burned all the alcohol away before it had much more ability to do anything other than make him feel a little bit more free.

Before long Cloud found himself knee deep in a pit of gyrating dancers. He grinned at Reno as he began dancing too, rubbing and pulsing against the Turks body teasingly. Let the other man think he was starting to get a little drunk. He wasn't, but it couldn't seem to anyone that the alcohol had no effect on him whatsoever.

With little to no sense of guilt over it Cloud became a being of lust and movement. He moved from person to person, picking his targets and getting to know them briefly. He whispered and chatted amicably with his dance partners to make sure they remembered him. It was cold and ruthless to blatantly use their bodies the way that he was but what did he care. He had a mission and he wouldn't hold back anything to fulfil it.

Cloud may have had his doubts earlier about his mission, but he was set now. He was acting, moving, doing something. It had no doubt been his very inaction caused by over action that drew attention that had made him doubt everything. It was irrelevant. Nothing mattered but dancing and drinking and celebrating at his birthday party.

Nothing mattered at all until the very next dancer he met was none other than Zack Fair. Cloud's blue eyes grew wide as his old friend pulled him into a dance. It was far less sexy and suggestible than anything that Cloud had done so far with any of the other people in the room but it still felt so over the top that he started blushing.

Reno noticed and with a grin made his way over to whisper in Cloud's ear, "Oh so that's your type eh? Go for it Cloud."

He felt silly, how could he have forgotten that Zack had arrived there the mere year before. That the black haired, sky eyed man would have completed his one year SOLDIER cadet training and would by now be working with Angeal in an attempt to offset his insatiable puppy like qualities. Of course he'd known, but the time that Cloud had been at Shinra without running into the other SOLDIER had lulled the blond into a false sense of security.

To meet someone he'd missed so much in such a way was mildly alarming.

Clearly Zack noticed his discomfort and every the people person asked Cloud outside with him. They stood on the balcony of Reno's apartment together in comfortable silence for a few moments looking out over the plate.

"Feeling better now spikey?" Zack asked not even feeling the slightest embarrassed that he'd just called a total stranger by a nick name for lack of a real name.

Cloud laughed and nodded, "Yeah, it must have been the alcohol I guess. My name is Cloud by the way, not spikey, but you can call me that if you really want."

Zack laughed in return, amused by Cloud's reaction and pleased with the comfortable nature of the situation. He'd only been to one or two of the Turk parties before, and remembered them that is, but he'd expected this to be a lot more awkward than it was.

"I see, so you're the birthday boy then?" Zack asked rocking back and forth a bit on the balls of his feet as though he wanted to do squats to burn off excess energy the way he'd always done but didn't want to at a party with someone he didn't know.

"You can do some squats if you want," Cloud said with a smile on his lips as he looked at Zack out of the corner of his eye, his face still turned outwards toward the city.

"How did you know that's what I wanted to do?" Zack asked cocking his head in that cuddly puppy way and making Cloud laugh.

The blond closed his eyes and took a deep breath with a smile on his face. He couldn't help but revel in the wonder of the night. After his nap today everything felt much better. As if by simply going to the place he had died, whether or not it had happened yet by a linear time point of view, he had found some sense of temporary peace.

"SOLDIER cadet basic training right? They tell you that squats will keep you warm and keep your heart rate up in a cold environment so if you want to survive learn to do as many as possible? I saw your rocking and the twitching muscles and knew that was what you were wanting to do," Cloud replied softly.

"I think I like you spikey, where are you from?" Zack asked with a friendly grin, "You don't seem like you're from Midgar. I would know, I'm from the countryside. Guys like me are just different from the Midgar people. I guess the most obvious thing is that we still look at the landscape out here."

Cloud laughed again in agreement. He had noticed that having come from the country side he was different from the other cadets that came from Midgar. They just coasted through life without taking anything in. Country boys like him still looked to the sky and city as if searching for something they'd never find.

"Well I'm a country boy too," Cloud confirmed finally turning to look at Zack with a smile.

"From where?" Zack asked.

"Nibelhiem," Cloud replied with a grin, remembering this conversation from their previous life in a far different time and place.

"Ha ha," Zack laughed into his hand trying and failing to hold in his laughter.

Even knowing how this would go Cloud had to reply the same, "How about you?"

"Me? Gongaga!"

"He he," Cloud laughed in return finding it just as funny now as he did last time.

"Hey! What's so funny about that! You know Gongaga?" Zack asked with a puppy dog pout on his lips.

"No. But it's such a backwater name." Cloud answered poking his tongue out childishly.

"Ditto Nibelhiem," Zack replied.

"Like you've been there?" Cloud questioned raising an eyebrow at his fellow conversationalist.

"I haven't, but there's a reactor there right?" Zack stopped and continued when Cloud nodded, "A Mako reactor outside Midgar usually means,"

"Nothing else out there," Cloud and Zack intoned together finishing the statement before laughing together again.

"Well spikey, it's getting late and I should probably get back to Shinra before curfew starts and I get in trouble," Zack said with a rueful grin. When he was a higher class of SOLDIER he would do whatever he wanted, but at the moment he was only an apprentice.

"Yeah me too," Cloud said with a smile as they made their way to the door, bidding Reno a farewell.

They talked and chatted all the way back to the barracks and made their separate ways with the knowledge that the two of them were now friends. If and when they should see each other around they would hang out and chat amicably.

Nothing would make Cloud as happy as knowing that he and Zack were just as compatible friends in this life as they had been in the last. Perhaps, now with the confidence and knowledge he had in this life they would be even more so.

However it turned out, Cloud was so happy he couldn't wait. He didn't even care about the leers he got as he made his way to his bed. Except for the note on his pillow.

With a sigh Cloud regarded the coded message that to anyone else would have seemed like idle chit chat. In a few hours, Kalm would be firebombed under Veld's orders to eliminate the company leak that originated in the city.

The warning would be too late for the blond to do anything. He could do nothing but brood over the fact that whilst he had celebrated his birthday Shinra had been laying down plans to cull an entire town. They never ceased to amaze him at their cruelty and ambivalence.

* * *

Thanks for reading, please don't kill me. But do R&R because it motivates me to put up chapters faster. Seriously, the more people I feel I disappoint, the less likely I am to take an eternity to write. I avoid conflict like that.


	14. Down With The Sickness

Okay, sorry this took so long, hopefully you can see why beyond the craziness that is my life. To sum things up; I'm a socially phobic, obsessive complusive, manic depressive with paranoid tendencies. Hence the inspiration for the way I write Cloud. So if he comes out a bit funny that's why.

Thanks to all of my reviewers, especially Kurai Ame who again gave me the gentle poke I need to get my butt into gear and get writing. My muse kind of abandoned me for a while. I think it was off helping Kanye write interruption speeches again. Sorry about that last time Taylor Swift, it slipped its leash! Anyways, massive wordcount abounds. Enjoy.

_**Word Count**; 10,500 (Alright go me! I rock! I knew one day I would make it longer)_

_________**Warnings**; Word Count XD, Gore, Violence. I'd say it's work safe._

___________________**Disclaimer**; I don't own final fantasy VII, based upon the time I don't own any sleep either. FML_

* * *

**Rewind**

**Chapter 12**

**Down With The Sickness**

In the aftermath of the Kalm firebombing incident things in Shinra began to change. It wasn't a widely known fact, but the order for the town to be bombed was given by none other than Veld himself. It was something that Cloud just couldn't understand having seen his own town aflame and its people dying.

Veld knew the people of Kalm. He had grown up there. Not that many people were aware of that fact; a Turk had to leave his past behind when he joined Shinra. It was dangerous not only to them but to those that knew them if their past were to open for all to know. Even those like Veld who predominantly worked a desk job joining his employees on the field but once in a blue moon.

And yet with little to no misgivings over the issue he decreed that the town would be burnt to the ground. He was a Turk through and through. Given the information that the leak inside of the Shinra Corporation was based out of Kalm he ordered the entire place firebombed and decimated. Every last inch of the village was razed to the ground as if it had never been.

Not to the level that Banora had been in his previous life, where you had to really search for the former site of the town, but merely erased.

Of course the destruction hadn't been without losses on both sides. The civilian's had died in large numbers, only a few had managed to escape the destruction. On the side of Shinra, Veld himself had managed to get into trouble. During the destruction Veld's arm had become damaged and in the end the Turk had lost the appendage altogether.

And it wasn't even the knowledge of this damage which shook Cloud the most, it was the fact that the Turk's own family had been in the town. They'd been sleeping peacefully in their beds as he made the plan and set the bomb that decimated everything. They'd been content and happy in the knowledge that although they might never see the man, the one they called husband and father was out there somewhere striving to keep them safe.

It was the sheer and utter betrayal on that level that left Cloud in a numb state of shock. He may have abandoned his friends and family, but he could never understand the reasoning behind hurting them so completely. He barely remembered all these events, they weren't something that he was that interested in at the time, but he remembered thinking then that he could never do something so horrible to those he loved.

In many ways Cloud would have made a better Turk than a SOLDIER. He was slim in build, not overtly muscled in the way Angeal or some of the other SOLDIER's were. His tactics were mostly comprised of stealth and surprise when it came to missions rather than mere brute strength. Even here he was more inclined to use the element of underestimation rather than strength for fear that he might use too much on someone undeserving.

"Cloud?" Zack asked as he regarded the blond who out of the blue had gone silent and introspective.

The pair had been meeting since the party a few months earlier for Cloud's birthday. At first the blue eyed boy had been hesitant to hang out with his former friend. He'd been worried that by starting the friendship again he might cause some kind of mental breakdown. In fact the younger of the two had gone out of his way to avoid the other in order to keep his mentality intact.

However that tactic had only lasted for so long.

Zack zoned back in to notice Cloud staring at him across the table with a small smirk on his lips, a single brow raised in amusement.

"So you shook me out of my day dream only to begin one of your own Zack?" Cloud teased before laughing softly.

"Yeah, I guess I did," Zack agreed with a sheepish look on his face as he raised a hand to his head and scratched at the back of it messing his haphazard black spikes up even more.

"So what were you thinking about?" Cloud asked placing an elbow on the table and leaning his chin on it as he focused on the sable haired fighter.

"Actually I was thinking about how hard you made it to get to know you," Zack answered with a grin of his own as he answered the question and teased his companion at the same time.

"Hmmm," Cloud replied thinking about it.

"You were stubborn," Zack said with a grin.

"You were stubborn," Cloud countered with a grin of his own.

~ 0 ~

_Attempt One – Two weeks after Cloud's birthday._

_The library was silent and peaceful as Cloud regarded the page on his computer screen with rapt concentration. He'd entered the building under the guise of completing some homework. He even had the boring essay next to the computer as proof if someone were to come by and attempt to bother him. It was half finished already; a simple report on the battle formations used in the Wutai War thus far and the logic behind them._

_Of course some of the information could be found in the newspapers that Shinra published for the public. More could be found in the reports available to SOLDIER's and cadets. Clearance level and the available information depended on your standing among the hierarchy of the Shinra Corporation. Those that were first class SOLDIER's naturally had infinitely more information than cadets like Cloud for example._

_Not that he needed any extra information on the battle formations used in combat during the Wutai War. He remembered more than enough of those between his infantry days and the memories that Zack left him with. And of course that wasn't even with the mention of practical experience from hunting Sephiroth, and ambushing monsters on their trip around the world._

_With knowledge like that he had an unfair, but none the less appreciated, advantage over those in his class who were also trying to complete the report. Many of Cloud's fellow class mates were in the library as well researching the uses behind specific battle strategies to go with the information they had already been given on the war._

_No, he didn't need the help of some stupid computer information to get his essay finished for tomorrow. That was just the cover story. The truth was that the blond was looking into some of the Shinra Corporation's files to see what they were up to at that moment. It paid off to keep an eye on the company and its activity._

_It made even more sense to check up on the company now that things were getting heated. The Wutai War was serious; the loss of life high and yet glossed over by the Shinra run media machine. That would have been enough on its own without the added turbulence of the company taking out its own property. The Kalm destruction upped the ante and made sure that Cloud was paying attention and not taking his task lightly._

_He'd taken the liberty of hacking into the system and reading some of the reports on the Kalm incident. He'd discovered more than a few things that they'd kept quiet, things that hadn't surfaced last time._

_For instance the population of the town that had been able to escape the incident had been taken to one of Hojo's secret labs and laid out for experimentation. As far as the madman scientist and the company were concerned it was a free and easy method of obtaining specimens. The town had been destroyed and promptly covered up by calling the annihilation a Wutai attack. The townspeople were largely considered dead._

_It wasn't going to be a big deal if those who did manage to make it out of the town weren't able to get anywhere. They were free for all's in the eyes of the company. Who knew what they were even really going to be used for. Even the file that Cloud had managed to hack into didn't really say. It held the generic Hojo bullshit that generally went around in nonsensical circles not really giving away any information other than the intent to use experimental procedures._

"_Whatcha doing?" asked a voice out of the blue causing Cloud to jump as he looked up over the computer screen to see the black haired SOLDIER standing there._

_As casually as he could Cloud used the remote withdraw he'd made to cease his hacking and leave no traces while shifting his screen to the work on the Wutai War. When that was done, and he appeared the casual student once more he looked up at the man who had interrupted him contemplatively. The silence was heavy as the sable haired man waited for a reply._

_Reluctantly Cloud answered the question, "I'm doing an essay for my Battle Tactics and Strategy class about the battle formations in the Wutai War."_

_The blond didn't really want to encourage the other man by replying to him. He felt like if he went ahead with the friendship he might break. He loved his former friend, but he wasn't sure his mind could take the burden of seeing Zack every day. He would go out of his way to save him, he would do anything for the man who had died to save him._

_He just wasn't sure he could take the strain mentally of seeing the SOLDIER all the time and trying to keep in the here and now. He'd had more than a few issues with that whilst working with Vincent, and they didn't have the same kind of history together that Cloud and Zack had. It was almost like asking for trouble. Or to put it another way, it was almost like asking for madness._

"_So Cloud, from what I hear you've been here a while," Zack asked leaning on the monitor of the computer, "And you've missed dinner so why don't we go for a walk and grab something in town?"_

_Cloud looked up at Zack, his eyes wide as he watched the blood drip down the sable haired SOLDIER's forehead. His lips were grinning in their usual goofy smile, but the blood was starting to slip into his open mouth. Oxygen was filtering through his lungs a little faster than normal making the blond haired man's head swim a little._

_A wavering blink and the image was gone, replaced with a concerned friend leaning closer._

_Cloud gave a shaky smile and shook his head, "Maybe another time."_

"_Oh-kay," Zack said slowly and uncertainly drawing the word out into its syllables as he stared at the blond. He couldn't help but wonder what about a dinner invitation from him had made the other man go into panic mode._

"_I'm sorry I've got to go," Cloud said with a crooked smile, jumping to his feet and hurrying away._

_He needed to breathe. He just needed to breathe._

_~ 0 ~_

_Attempt Two – Five Weeks After Cloud's Birthday_

_The air was starting to bite, the coldness of the autumn air starting to set in. It was early for that frigid bite yet, being only the beginning of September but then winters had always set in faster and more erratically here in Midgar where nature had been flouted. Where the natural atmosphere had been drained by the city and its Mako reactors. Scarves were starting to pop up around the necks of the residents in a bid to keep exposed skin out of the open air._

_Cloud was no exception to that trend. Even having lived in Nibelhiem of this lifetime he still hadn't been able to forgo the want of a soft winter scarf. It wrapped his neck and shoulders firmly and when the wind blew hard was often drawn up to his nose. One such occasion where he'd firmly nestled himself into the cloth was today._

_It was only fitting then that when Cloud turned the corner of loveless avenue, heading towards the fountain that Cloud bumped into none other than Zack Fair. His blue eyes opened wide as their bodies met, a comical look when that was all the sable SOLDIER could see. As they stepped back and away from each other Zack grasped Cloud's shoulders and stared at him in fixed concentration._

"_Cloud?" Zack asked staring into wide blue eyes._

_Cloud was unable to respond, his body frozen for a moment in shock._

"_Is that you?" Zack continued after a moment of silence._

_Embarrassed the blond merely nodded in reply, grateful that the scarf he was wearing so high covered his flushed face. It was just his luck to walk right into the person he had been actively avoiding for the past few weeks. At least he felt decidedly more put together this time than he had the last time they'd met in the library._

"_I'm sorry for bumping into you like that. I guess it must be fate huh?" Zack asked with a grin, his head tilting as he spoke, looking at the obscuring scarf for a moment before lifting his hand and pulling it down to reveal the entirety of the blonds face._

_The sudden shock of cold air against his skin made Cloud screw up his face. He'd been warm and more than a little content up until that point, and yet he still felt quite comfortable. It was strange that the mere presence of his former friend for that moment in time made him tune out everything else. Until the moment was over._

_And then he stopped to think again. Blue eyes roved the SOLDIER's body up and down as they took in the windswept look the man was sporting. He was supposed to have been avoiding this man. He'd decided that for the sake of his sanity he couldn't be around Zack this time. Only he wasn't feeling as lost and confused looking at the man now as he was the last time he'd seen him._

_In fact other than a strange sense of blurring around the edges when they were together he wasn't feeling too bad at all. He glanced up at the bright blue eyes of his friend and smiled a little, the edges of his lips turning up. The black haired soldier grinned back, surprised to see the blond smiling the way he was. It was certainly a first other than the party where they had met._

_Not that Zack had been stalking the blond when he had the chance in an attempt to start the friendship he felt should have been formed since the night of Cloud's birthday. Not at all, he'd merely started…actively devoting time to catching the blond so they could reconcile. Yes that was it. After all they'd hit it off so well when they'd first met. They'd had a connection that somewhere undefinable must have gone awry._

_Or, at least that was the only explanation for the sudden turnaround in their relationship. Although the black haired man couldn't fathom exactly what might have changed between the party and the very next week when they met again._

"_Yeah, I guess it must be fate," Cloud agreed with a nod and a smile, "Or you're stalking me."_

"_Uh, yeah fate," Zack agreed again with a sheepish smile wondering how Cloud knew what he had been thinking only moments earlier._

"_I'm sorry…about the last time we saw each other," Cloud said with a blush; thinking about the way he had run out the last time they had spoken made him feel embarrassed. He couldn't help but fear that the other man thought him an idiot._

"_It's fine I'm sure you were just-"_

"_No, that's alright let me finish. I didn't mean to be so weird. It wasn't anything that you did, it was just…I wasn't feeling very well and then I guess I got a bit stressed over that paper I was writing," Cloud replied unable to face the idea of someone he looked at as a friend viewing him as a fool._

"_Well, I'm glad. Do you want to go and-" Zack was suddenly cut off again._

"_I'm sorry, I can't," Cloud replied shaking his head. He was just starting to bridge the gap between the past Zack and the present Zack. He just wasn't ready for more than short bursts of contact yet. He had yet to wrap his mind around it. Closing his eyes he could almost hear the sable haired man calling his battle cry and the slew of bullets that cut him down._

"_But I didn't even say when or where," Zack said a pout beginning to form on his lips._

_Cloud gave a wry grin and shook his head, "I know. I'm sorry. It's not you, it's me. I just need to work through something and then we can do something. Okay? I'm sorry."_

"_Wow, we aren't even in a relationship and I managed to get the 'it's not you it's me' talk. But –" Zack broke off and shook his head and grinned as he thought about it. He was determined that no matter what it took he would be friends with the blond. It just felt right._

"_Fine, but you owe me." Zack said watching as Cloud nodded and hurried away._

_They would be friends yet. Not that his promise would stop him from stalk- er, actively pursuing the friendship of Cloud Strife._

_~ 0 ~_

_Attempt three – Nine Weeks After Cloud's Birthday_

"_Stand to attention!" Evan Black, the commanding officer barked as he regarded his cadets._

_Several rows of cadets suddenly snapped to attention. They stood stiff and alert; ready for the next instruction. Up until that point they hadn't seen much action in their training, it had mostly been in-facility exercises and theory based work. But as they stood and waited to leave with baited breath they knew that things were about to change._

_The orders had been given the day before that at 0600 hours the cadets were to be packed and ready for survival training. They'd been at the institute for about eight months already. It was no surprise to anyone that the time had finally come for them to be exiting the city. It was just a wonder that they hadn't done it earlier. Although the delay sort of made sense with the Wutai War going on; there just wasn't the needed amount of force to organise these sorts of trips._

_The cadets had no idea where they were going, or even what they would be doing once they got to their destination. They'd all been told what essentials to pack at the end of the day the previous day, and most of them had promptly done it without question. Some had spent more time pondering the meaning than doing the work but overall they were all curious and more than eager to get going._

"_Today we are taking you into the area surrounding Midgar. You'll have a SOLDIER to each team. You'll make your camp overnight; you will get to the destination indicated on your map and then return to Midgar. Those that make it back before the week is out will pass the survival course. Those that do not, will have the option of repeating the year, or returning to wherever you came from." Evan Black said with a stern tone and a firm face._

_It was already Wednesday, that meant that they were going on a trip that could take five days. Where were they going? Costa Del Sol. Cloud grimaced for a moment before following his team into their van. The vehicle was loaded down with people and items and then they were set, motoring along the highway until they left the city._

_When the vehicles had made their way out of Midgar, and instead were on the planes around the city they were given the go ahead as a SOLDIER approached each group. Cloud couldn't help but groan at the way fate worked as a familiar black spiky head made its way over to the group._

_Of course they weren't going to give the cadets anyone who was actually a high class SOLDIER for these activities. And if they were going to be picking low ranking SOLDIER's to do the job then why not allow him to end up with the one person in all of SOLDIER whom he had been avoiding other than Sephiroth (for obvious reasons)._

"_Cloud! Who'd have thought you'd be in my group?" Zack said with a grin, knowing full well that he had specifically signed up for that group when he'd agreed to do the exercise. After all when they were stuck together in the wilderness there was no way that the blond could ignore him._

"_Yeah, of all the groups you could have gotten, huh?" Cloud replied with a wry voice leaving the sable soldier to wonder if he knew somehow that Zack had manipulated the situation._

_Not that Cloud was really all that irritated about it or anything. Not really; yeah it was a shock to see Zack on such a serious mission but really he should have expected as much. He knew that the SOLDIER had been getting more and more anxious to rekindle their friendship, and in that respect it was no surprise at all that this had been a last resort as such. Zack always had been a little bit stubborn when it came to getting the things that he wanted._

_With a grin Zack produced the mission plan and the map, handing it over to Cloud. The blond glanced over the instructions and sighed. They certainly hadn't made it easy for the recruits to complete this mission. Not only were they to survive the wilderness on their first trip out of the facility but they were to retrieve items from battle as well. No doubt many of the cadets had never even seen the monsters they were going to be facing outside of a text book or a simulator._

_They had been instructed to make their way out of Midgar and 'obtain nine ethers and return to the facility by no later than 12pm Sunday evening, and no sooner than 12pm Friday evening'. After all it was meant to be both a survival challenge as well as a test of practical battle skills._

_The SOLDIER's weren't allowed to interfere with the process unless it appeared that their charges were in a life or death situation. After all, Shinra was about money and profit margins. The last thing they needed was a law suit on their hands saying that the supervisors merely stood back and watched as the cadets were bludgeoned to death by the monsters they were learning to fight. Especially whilst they were on a camping trip. That would have sounded really bad._

_So as the blond turned his gaze towards his team he sighed. He hadn't exactly been given the best lot out there. It was obvious that he was going to have to take charge at least slightly in order to get things done. He wouldn't be one of those people that had to retake the whole year over again because they missed the whole assignment due to poor planning. It was a little unfair, but he knew that a fair number of the cadets would struggle to get the amount of inventory required in the amount of time given._

_Between figuring out where to go and actually obtaining the artefacts that the Shinra Corporation required time would be slim for most. And no doubt that was what they were aiming for. He'd never even made it to this stage in his previous life so he had no idea what other tasks might be given. He'd almost immediately been forced into the infantry with the combination of his build and the sensitivity he'd had to Mako. Luckily that was a thing of the past. Along with his motion sickness thank god._

_It was a fair assessment in one way though, and that was the test of logic and thought process. It was a good way to see who would think to try and buy the substance, an expensive feat at an average of 1,500 Gil a piece, and who would immediately figure out the fastest and easiest way to obtain the substance. In that way they were already set for this project. It couldn't be said that all of the running around they did after Sephiroth was for naught. Most certainly and relevantly for this project it had taught him what monsters would get their hands on what, how strong they were and the best tactics for beating them._

_Even more importantly thanks to that seemingly never ending trip around the planet he knew exactly where to get their first three ethers. He grinned and relayed the first level of the plan to the other team members who nodded and gave their input whilst Zack remained the impartial and silent SOLDIER he was required to be for this task. And no doubt based on the personality and what Cloud knew of the sable haired man it was killing him. HE couldn't help but snigger to himself a little at the idea drawing baffled looks from the team as they began their tramp across the plains of Midgar towards Kalm._

_The long grass was itchy and irritating, and the soft rustling sound combined with the heavy footfalls of their boots quickly grew irritating. At least when he'd been forced to travel with AVALANCHE he'd actually semi-liked them at the time. Over the course of their adventures they'd grown on each other and though they were in close quarters and privacy was almost non-existent it hadn't mattered all that much because they became used to each other._

_But this. This was pure torture. After several hours of walking they were nearly there, and thank god. Cloud's fellow cadets were inclined towards inane conversation about who they liked, what General Sephiroth was like and what his interests were (The blond was nearly ticked off enough to tell them the truth about future Sephiroth's interests; blood, pain, misery and the destruction of the world. Nearly, but not quite), and general early teen prattling._

_Zack wasn't helping on the least. He'd been quiet at first; nothing short of a miracle for the peppy SOLDIER. Then clearly he'd grown bored and resorted to humming some of the biggest hits on the radio quite loudly and off key. He'd given that up rather quickly when Cloud had turned to him with the most murderous glare he could conjure and simply stared. The message had been signed, sealed and delivered with a death immanent guarantee if the man continued. So he'd stopped, only to continue his attempt at entertain with what was probably the stupidest game in creation-_

"_I Spy with my little eye, something beginning with K," Zack said gleefully, sure they'd never guess this, probably fiftieth 'spy'. He'd given just about every object he could now and this was probably the last thing he'd be able to say until they came across something new for him to offer._

"_Kalm?" Adam asked with a sigh as he regarded the town looming ahead of them. He couldn't wait to be at the place. Cloud had suggested it as their first port of call only a few hours earlier, but to all of the five cadets in the team the journey had the feel of a lifetime. None of them aside from the blond were used to such journeys. At first it had been a novelty. Now it was merely a pain in the ass._

"_Yes! How did you-" Zack was suddenly cut off by Cloud speaking._

"_A Kalm Fang" Cloud said his eyes on the way ahead._

"_Ah, Cloud, Adam here already guessed it right. You don't need to keep guessing," Zack replied with a confused look on his face as he looked at the blond._

_Cloud laughed and shook his head as he lifted his sword and readied for attack, "No Zack. There's a Kalm Fang on its way over here."_

_Caught up for a moment in the fun of the game Zack hadn't comprehended the fact that there were enemies around here. Sure he'd known, and he'd been certain that he would catch wind of those enemies way before any of his troop were in danger but he was a bit too distracted. He'd been more focused on trying to loosen the blond up and make friends with him. After all he wasn't allowed to really do anything to help them anyway. Not unless things disintegrated into a life or death situation, and it certainly wasn't at that level with one measly Kalm Fang._

_Of course with monsters like Kalm Fang they were never on their own before the troop knew it they were surrounded by the monsters. Not that that fact bothered the blond who merely regarded it as a chance to try and steal a few ethers from the monsters. The other members of the team were frozen with surprise for a moment before they put up their weapons and made their own clumsy attempts at fighting._

_Zack stood back and watched impartially merely keeping an eye on the situation and keeping out of the way of the monsters. If it came down to it then he was ready, but for the time being he would watch the cadets and check out their technique. That was after all half the reason they were out there. When there was a quiet moment he would stop to write it all down._

_Cloud rushed forward to take on the first monster he saw. The monsters weren't particularly strong and he avoided the spiky creatures first attack, a body blow, with ease. Swiftly and gracefully Cloud whirled out of the way and around the back of the monster. In the blink of an eye he'd drawn his blade harshly down the spine of the creature and cleaved it damn near in half from mid back to rump._

_With a quick glance to make sure the monster wasn't going to get up and move again Cloud moved onto the next assailant. Blue eyes were bright in concentration as he danced around the body of a slightly more agile Kalm Fang. A quick glance up at his fellow team members told him they were doing passably well against their own opponent._

_The problem with only having faced simulations and friendly combat inside the Shinra Facility was that the cadets weren't quite entirely ready for a real life combat situation. Of course nothing could have been done about that in the first place other than throwing them into combat with the real thing._

_The difference between a simulation, and a real monster was almost subtle, but at the same time noticeable enough to put one of slightly at first. In a simulation all of the effort was in placing your strikes and executing them correctly. It was concentration and willpower. And whilst yes that was in its own way important in real life there was a key difference here that the cadets were trying to account for._

_Nothing they'd faced so far had prepared them for the reality of cleaving through meat and bone. They'd known the importance of striking the right angle in battle to get the best blow but the clumsiness of real life meant that when Adam struck a weird angle rather than the perfect hit he'd been going for he met more bone than he'd anticipated._

_The cadets strength wasn't quite enough to go through bone at the angle he'd attempted and the sword momentarily became embedded in the deep wound he'd created ensconced into the bone. Blood poured free messily out of the open wound causing the young man's stomach to turn a little. _

_Except he didn't have time to stop and ponder the ethics of slaughtering something that was attacking him in such a haphazard and clearly painful way. With a grunt and a heavy swallow he pulled his sword free and pilled it back striking out again and this time catching the monster in the throat as his teammate caught it in the belly successfully felling it._

_Cloud focused on his own opponent again as a fang attack successfully caught him across the leg and made him bleed. Gritting his teeth against the sudden onset of pain Cloud ignored the wound knowing that by the time he'd finished this monster off there wouldn't even be a scratch. He slashed out with a sharp movement and then reversed the angle of the sword bringing it back down upon the neck of the beast effectively beheading it in his zealousness._

_Turning with his sword at the ready Cloud prepared to face the next monster only to find his teammates finishing off the last one as he watched. He scanned their movements fixatedly as they co-operatively took the last Kalm Fang down together. For all that he got shitty with them he couldn't help but notice that they did make a good team together._

_They all turned to look at each other before turning to Cloud and looking at him. He seemed the most knowledgeable and therefore the most likely rallying point._

"_What do we do now?" Derek asked on behalf of the other members._

_A crooked smile curled across Cloud's face as he looked at the felled opponents, "We see if we found any ethers."_

"_Look where?" Dave replied confounded. He certainly didn't see how the creatures they'd fought might be hiding any items._

"_The stomach of course; they eat whatever they find, and if they find a nice human snack who just happens to have items on them then they eat that too. When you cut them open you find the weirdest things, of course if you find their nests, or dens or whatever then there's a chance there's something there too," Cloud said the grin still on his face at the look on the other cadets faces, "Didn't anyone else read about that in class, or actually do it at home, or even hear about it?"_

_There was a resounding silence as Cloud looked at Zack and shook his head to stop the SOLDIER from saying yes. He meant his fellow cadets. Of course someone who did this for a career would have done so already. He didn't need a verbal confirmation to know that._

"_No? Really?" Cloud asked both surprised and not surprised that none of them had known. He'd known at first glance that he'd found himself in the type of group to just do something rather than take the time to think about it. It wasn't that they were slow or stupid, at least not overly, but rather that they were merely the brute force type of fighter. So naturally given his history as a resourceful fighter it made sense he be thrown in with them. Otherwise the whole lot mightn't get anywhere._

"_I'll show you how to do it, and then you can have a go, okay?" Cloud said before making his way to one of the Kalm Fang and slitting its stomach open and allowing its contents to spill free before rooting a hand around inside to make sure everything was out. When he was sure he had everything he could the blond gathered his findings; he'd made several and luckily enough they'd even gained and ether._

"_One ether down, eight to go," Cloud said turning around to look at some of the other cadets, two of whom looked distinctly green having watched Cloud plunge his hand into the innards of a dead monster in search of treasure, realising they too would have to do so._

_Cloud sent an amused look to Zack who grinned back. The first time you had to do so was always the worst. Do it enough and it just became another thing you did. Of course if he'd known what they were going to be doing out here he might have packed gloves so he could wash those clean rather than his hand. He'd meant to bring them too, but even people like him made silly mistakes such as leaving tiny things at home on their beds ready and waiting to be packed. Even resurrected from the dead by the will of the lifestream he was still human._

_The other cadets set about disembowelling their kills and searching for treasure. Only one other ether was found, the rest of the creatures merely containing money or potions. It was odd what some of these monsters managed to come across and consume. It was odder still that some of the things they ate didn't make them sick. Even monsters couldn't digest everything._

"_We should make camp here for the night. It's getting late, and the bodies will deter any other enemies for now. I need to go to Kalm and get the ethers I mentioned. I can't get them with everyone else tramping around with me though. It's kind of suspicious and it would make the other teams realise what we were up to," Cloud said surveying the distance between Kalm and their soon to be camp site. He could see other cadets in the distance all milling about at different paces, heading different places._

"_You're welcome to it Cloud, I don't know about these guys but I'm dead tired. We can't all be mountain boys who do this every day for fun you know! I'm from Junon. A little swimming is the most consistent exercise we get out there," Derek said with a sigh as he dumped his pack on the ground._

"_I agree with him, I'm exhausted. That last fight has me ready to keel over and die. I thought I was fit until you made us walk all the way from Midgar to Kalm with only a handful of breaks. I don't know how you do it Strife!" Adam added with a huff as he collapsed onto the ground._

_Cloud laughed in reply. He knew they were right. They'd crossed a lot of distance in a short amount of time thanks to the swift pace they were going at. Only a handful of other teams had made it out ahead of them. He wanted this task over and done with. He wanted, needed, to finish this mission and make it into SOLDIER. It was just perfect that this was something that he could do so well._

"_I'll be back soon okay? Don't forget that we're going to need someone on watch all night; so, when you're done with making camp you need to decide who gets what hours. The last person to go on watch should eat and then go to sleep. We don't want to get attacked while we sleep," Cloud said with a nod before setting off towards Kalm._

_By the time Cloud had reached the town it was near eight at night, and more than twelve hours since they'd stood packed and in line waiting for orders. It was dark, but the light from the buildings was just at the right level that that the small town was well enough lit that even without his mako enhanced vision the blond would have been satisfactorily able to see the world around him._

_From his first visit to Kalm with AVALANCHE Cloud was lucky enough to remember all the places that he'd visited to gather equipment. He was even luckier that most of the buildings that Cloud had been to in his previous life had been created now. In true Shinra fashion, after decimating the town they'd played dumb and rushed it back up again offering help to those who wanted to move there now. He was fortunate that his memory of the town included the places where he'd been privileged enough to come across a few ethers. He had no doubt that as with last time their owners wouldn't even notice their loss. Most of these people were miners who had come across the substance in caves or assorted treasure chests. They didn't need or know what to do with the ethers. They'd no doubt had them long before the town had even been rebuilt or destroyed in the first place._

_The first place Cloud visited was the Inn. When the innkeepers back was turned he managed to sneak past the man and make it upstairs to where the beds were. In a moment of nostalgia he remembered the way the room was when he'd told his fake tale about what had happened. When he had believed that he was Zack rather than the unnamed infantryman of his story._

_At the realisation that everything had been a lie his head had fabricated in a form of experimentation induced transfer and post-traumatic stress disorder he'd felt both betrayed and embarrassed that Tifa had left him to pour all that detail out when she knew otherwise. Almost mortified even. As he glanced around the room that looked exactly the same then as it did now his cheeks flushed with embarrassed colour again._

_Shaking his head to rid the visions of the past Cloud moved over to the cabinet to the left of the stairs and rifled through it for a bit. He remembered it being there. He was sure it was there. Unless the person who placed the item there hadn't put it there yet. And then after checking the cabinet a grand total of five times he was finally able to figure out where it was. Perhaps he was going blind? No, that idea was immediately dismissed. He was genetically enhanced. There was no way he was going blind. He was probably just too caught up in his past._

_Cloud grinned as he put the megalixir into his pack and snuck back out of the inn again before the man at the counter noticed. More than one group would soon be trying to check into the inn for the night. Before their team was told by the SOLDIER babysitting them that bunking in the inn wasn't allowed since it wasn't part of a relevant survival technique. At least not in the way Shinra wanted. Still, that didn't mean someone wouldn't try._

_The house to the right of the inn was empty; the door was unlocked as most of these houses were. Most of the people living there were quite poor and there wasn't much to steal, so what was the point in locking it. Cloud had chosen his time wisely. There would be a special on at the pub about now and most of the people living in town would be there. It was an odd sort of social event._

_He needed to get this done as quickly as possible so the blond let himself in and made his way to the door under the stairs and found the item he was looking for. Tucked at the back of the shelf and looking significantly less dusty than the previous time he'd retrieved it Cloud found one of the ethers he was looking for. He was grateful it was there, but curious as to whether this streak was going to hold up. When they'd found the items previously it had been obvious they'd been there a while and wouldn't be missed. However would they be there this early?_

_As it turned out at the next house over from his memory streak of luck was over and one of the ethers he was looking for hadn't been put there yet, in fact the whole house wasn't even completed yet but merely foundation work. He did however find a nice restore materia in the foundation work. He wondered if anyone found it last time, or if they merely built a house over it without knowing. It was only a level 1 materia, so it would only do a simple cure, but with enough work he knew he could work it all the way up to cure 3. It wouldn't directly help him finish this mission, but in the long run it was even better than finding an ether in that cupboard._

_With a flourish of success Cloud pocketed the materia and moved on from the house. He really didn't have the time to dawdle. He had work to do, and no doubt his teammates would be wondering where he was soon. That was if they hadn't merely collapsed in an exhausted pile and forgone his idea of running a watch completely. If they hadn't listened then he was trusting Zack to take care of them._

_In exploring the next house Cloud found the gun Peacekeeper. It would make a suitable gift for Vincent when he was next able to get a hold of the elusive Turk. In the next and final house Cloud found the last ether under the stairs in a cupboard neatly tucked away. Ethers were such expensive items that they weren't something you'd just use all willy nilly, especially if they just looked pretty and you didn't really know what they were._

_A final stop to the supply shop netted the blond some food and supplies such as ammunition for peacekeeper. He might as well use it for now. He'd also picked up a few extra materia. They weren't cheap, but the money he found inside the Kalm Fang as well as a little of his own money meant that he was more than prepared for this mission now that he knew the details. With haste he made his way back to the camp._

_The blond was more than a little surprised when he arrived at the camp to discover that they'd listened to him after all, and that after appointing a watch schedule they'd all gone to sleep except the first person on duty. Well, him and Zack at any rate. With his SOLDIER enhancements he wasn't as tired as the rest of the team were. That and sheer willpower had kept him awake._

"_Cloud, you're back!" Zack greeted with soft excitement as Cloud sank down in place at the glowing fire._

_Cloud glanced at Zack and stared at the SOLDIER for a moment or two. Turning his gaze to Brian the cadet on watch he grinned and shook his head. "Brian, you can go to sleep, I'm not tired after putting all that adrenaline into my system, I'll take watch for now."_

_They hadn't been sure when the blond would return to the camp and so they'd left him off the watch list completely rather than try and work him in without proper knowledge. It wouldn't hurt to get some sleep, and with the looks the SOLDIER and the blond were giving each other it was clear that they wanted to chat anyway. Better one person up awake and keeping watch than two, other than the SOLDIER of course who they had no control over._

"_Yeah, thanks man. I'll see you in the morning. Don't stay up too long okay? You need some sleep too," Brian said with a nod before heading to bed._

_Cloud looked steadfastly at the fire, keeping his attention on that rather than the man sitting next to him. It was easier that way. If he could distract himself from the past then he wouldn't see it. He could hold a full conversation with no horrible flash backs. At least it had mostly worked so far._

"_You wanted to talk?" Cloud said softly so as not to wake the no doubt dead asleep cadets only a short distance away._

"_Yeah, I wanted to know…if you plan on being friends with me? I know that we get along, we have fun with each other; or at least we did at your birthday party but every time I've seen you since then things have been weird. You've run away," Zack said softly in return. The addition of 'but you can't run away now went unsaid' but heard anyway._

_Cloud grinned ruefully, "Yeah, we did have fun. As much as we could when I'm being so stupid. I'm sorry Zack, I really am. I just. I can't even really explain it to you so that you can understand. My head is so…I'm not good with words. I'm not good at saying how I feel or what I'm thinking. It always drove Tifa and the kids nuts."_

"_Tifa and the kids?" Zack asked with a confused voice._

_Cloud daren't look up in case his voice gave him away as he mentally kicked himself, "Tifa and the other kids back home. They never really understood me, but Tifa. She- I don't know, other than my mom she was the one who was the best at dealing with me. She just kind of…got me. At least on the surface at any rate."_

_Although Zack didn't realise it Cloud was again speaking about a time somewhere in the future, a time that was yet to happen and all going well never would. He merely noticed how forlorn his friend was and figured that maybe he was lonely. That maybe all Cloud had been running from was exactly what he was offering._

"_So maybe we shouldn't go for a friendship? Maybe we should skip all that and just be best friends. Just skip all that scary getting to know each other and working past the pretences stuff. Past all the worry, and stress and regret and be what we could be. I think we could be good friends, and I think we should be friends. So why not just forgive each other for the flaws and say that we'll be there for each other. No matter how many words we use or how we say it. Whatever happens you have to hold onto your dreams! If you want to be a hero you have to hold onto your dreams," Zack said with a smile, parodying words he'd said in a time long past._

_Cloud looked away, "I don't want to be a hero."_

_Silence took hold as Zack got the message that Cloud wasn't in the mood to talk. The blond stayed on watch for several more hours until the sun was starting to turn the sky a purple in preparation for the day. With only an hour or so until they had to get up he turned in and passed out. When he awoke later nothing more was said on the subject to the blond. For the time being it was dropped._

_The time passed and they made their way past Kalm and out towards the Chocobo Ranch. The other cadets had been apprehensive about heading out this way considering the amount of time they had left but when Cloud had assured them they wouldn't be returning on foot then they had agreed to the trip. Just before lunchtime Saturday the cadets found themselves at the Chocobo Ranch with a day and a half to go. They'd managed to gather all of their ethers the night before luckily enough and the trip home was the final leg of the challenge._

_At first the other cadets had worried about being able to pay for Chocobo at the farm. It could be notoriously expensive to hire/buy even one of the enormous birds. However the confidence Cloud had shown when they'd broached the subject quickly quelled their nerves some. At least until Cloud stepped up to the birds in the pen and began 'warking' to them like one of their long lost cousins. At any rate the image was at least mildly comical._

"_Wark!" Cloud cried in hello as he greeted the birds in the pen remembering doing much the same thing, ignoring the looks he was getting now much as he had then as the Chocobo started to dance._

_The shining yellow birds waddled and danced for a moment as they warked back before a materia rolled Cloud's way. He picked it up and turned to look at his fellow cadets faces as they stared at the formerly dancing birds in confused awe. It never got old._

"_I'll be back in a moment," Cloud said with a grin as he made his way into the stables to find a much younger rancher inside._

_The blond managed to haggle the price of the Chocobo Lure materia down from 2000 this time to a mere 1,800. He'd had the 2000 but if he paid that then he wouldn't have been able to afford the greens he'd need to attract the birds. Fighting all those monsters on the way there certainly helped them pay off things such as this. It worked just as well here as it had at home as a child._

_When that was done and he'd paid for the curiel greens the made their way to the spot where Cloud found he caught Chocobo the easiest. It was simple really. He merely looked where the grass was longest, searched for their tracks in the ground and then left the greens and activated the lure. When that was done and the birds came in he assigned the birds to a cadet and they made their way home in style, if not in complete comfort for some who were unused to riding the swift birds._

"_What're you gonna do when we get to Midgar?" Zack asked causing Cloud's blue eyes to widen in alarm once more as he again replayed the past. He'd certainly chosen the best time for it as the passed by the spot of his death. Cloud shuddered at the realisation. Life sucked._

"_So Cloud. What are you gonna do?" Zack asked again._

_In a stroke of fate Cloud was unable to reply out of shock much the way he'd been unable to reply when he was last asked that question by the black haired man, "U…uuuhhhhh…"_

"_"Just kidding... I won't leave you hanging like that," Zack said with a grin, "We're friends right? Best friends?"_

_The subject that Cloud had been avoiding for most of the trip and then some finally came up, and again the way it was asked left him breathless in the face of the parallels it posed. He shook his head to clear it a little._

"_We're not?" Zack asked with a put upon pout as they cancelled the lure and made their way back into Midgar late on Saturday evening, "That's mean. And here I was going to ask you if you wanted to grab a something to eat together when this was done."_

"_No, yeah, I mean…I don't know Zack. Can we just not label it for now?" Cloud asked with a grimace._

_There was silence as they made their way into the city. Then when it seemed as though Zack might never answer he finally did, "Yeah, we can do that."_

_Cloud grinned for a moment. For all that Zack was an excitable puppy most of the time, he was a great friend, and for all the things that really mattered he was someone that you wanted on your side. There was no one else like Zack Fair he mused._

_They entered the Shinra building as a team and handed over their treasure, and Zack surrendered the paperwork he'd been working on since they started. When that was done each member was interviewed privately about their experiences and their techniques. It was a relief to stumble out of the room at two in the morning, just shy of three hours after he'd made it into the city and just fall into bed. He forgot all about Zack's offer and the things that were on his mind and passed out._

_He'd passed. He was in. A SOLDIER._

~ 0 ~

Present time – Eleven Weeks After Clouds Birthday

"I think we'll just have to agree that we are both stubborn," Zack conceded with a grin, "but you know, you still owe me dinner."

"Hmmm, I believe you're right," Cloud replied attempting to sound thoughtful rather than smug and amused.

It was late October; things were okay in his life for now. He was on track, on mission, and for the most part mentally stable. Who knew how long things would stay that way, it was better to revel in it and embrace it such as it was. It was a fact that in his life things never stayed simple. They invariably became complicated.

There hadn't been that many people passing the test into SOLDIER that year, it seemed that most of the cadets had grown complacent during the test with the idea that with the Wutai War going on they wouldn't need to try too hard to get anything done. They'd somehow largely gotten the idea that they'd be accepted even if they were having trouble scraping by. Except that Sephiroth was running the show and there was no way he was going to allow that. The other half that hadn't passed the cut hadn't been able to get the required amount of ethers, or hadn't come back in on time. Or even worse, some had been a combination of the two. The tests for SOLDIER were hard for a reason. They only wanted the best.

It wasn't until later that Cloud found out that even the debriefing where he'd been asked about the events of the test had been a test in and of itself as well. Zack had informed him later that he'd done really well on that. He'd remembered all the details of the mission he'd been on, and answered all of the questions he'd been given very succinctly. He'd showed through his answers and his work that he had exemplary leadership skills, battle tactics, combat skill and drive. It made him question what exactly Zack had written about him. It hadn't even occurred to him until now because he'd been so focused on the fact that he was in. But they were friends and he knew that he'd done well, so it couldn't have been bad. He hadn't even thought to look it up.

"Zack?"

"Hmmm?" The sable SOLDIER replied.

"What did you write about me in your report for that mission?" Cloud asked curiously.

"Fabulous, a godsend, could catch a Chocobo with merely a sweet word!" Zack laughed in answer.

"Never mind, I give up, I don't want to know, it isn't important. I passed and that's all that matters," Cloud said with an exasperated sigh. Zack really was terrible sometimes, he was like a giant child when he wanted to be.

He was still snooping around files on the Shinra Mainframe covertly in the hopes of finding something that would allow him to oust Hojo from his spot as head of the Science department. Veld had returned to work after getting his body fixed, and no one seemed any the wiser to really went on in Kalm thanks to his cover story. He still wasn't sure how Shinra had managed to put together a town like that after it caused a destruction on such a level, but Nibelhiem in his timeline seemed only to support the idea that Shinra was the master of rebuilds and cover stories. It was sick. It was more than sick, but he refused to let it get to him. At least not right now.

He still hadn't had the chance to see Vincent, or to give the Turk the gun he'd found, but that wasn't any surprise considering he'd been out on assignment since not long after he got back from his exam. On the upside he hadn't seen too much of Reno again either. Of course knowing the redhead that just meant that he was going to pop up out of the blue one day with some obnoxious idea that would get them into trouble. But Cloud wouldn't have it any other way.

"Pizza?" Zack asked suddenly out of the blue breaking Cloud's daydreaming.

"Pardon?"

"For that dinner you owe me, I figured there's no better time than the present," Zack said with a grin.

"You have no idea," Cloud laughed knowing Zack would ignore him.

"So Pizza?" Zack repleated.

"Sound great," Cloud replied, "Everything but the Chocobo Pizza?"

"Sounds perfect."

* * *

That's it, you must love me forever, and never notice any mistakes. It's 5.20 am. I've been writing since 7pm. I hate the world, and my stupid muse that enjoys pounding me into submission by threatening my sleep. Please R&R nicely. And don't hate me. It's the longest chapter I've ever written!


	15. Welcome to the Jungle

Hey guys, sorry for the wait there's been a fair bit going on in my life. The most important part is that my grandmother died. She was a Wren during World War 2 (Women's Royal Naval Service) here in New Zealand. Also did anyone else notice that I can't count XD Somewhere along the way I wrote a chapter as chapter 10 twice and now my numbers are out.

This chapter name is Welcome to the Jungle by Guns N' Roses.

_**Word Count;** 6000 (sorry)_

_________**Warnings**; Nothing I can think of, violence a little, unless you're squeamish about needles?_

_______________________________**Disclaimer**; I don't own anything except that huge pile of stress over there, although I'm looking to sell, anyone keen XD_

_______________________________Again props go out to Kurai Ame and Merula Aeolus for giving me advice and gentle nudges until I updated XD Thanks to all of my reviewers and getting me over 300 reviews!_

* * *

**Chapter 14**

**Welcome To The Jungle**

Cloud entered the training room with trepidation. The upside and the downside of passing the test to make it into SOLDIER was the specialised training that came immediately afterwards. It was both the source of help to the blond helping him to build more upon the areas that he was most in need to help with. On the other hand it was also a session that would focus completely on him and his strengths and weaknesses which would show what he knew and how he worked, and if he wasn't careful then perhaps even a little of their enhancements.

They hadn't collectively been summoned to their Mako enhancement sessions yet. Although they had been given a secondary swab to test their sensitivity to the substance the day after they'd been informed they had made it into the program. People who hadn't reacted the first time might have managed it through a cheat or a fluke. With fewer people to take care of there was less of a chance there would be adverse reactions going unnoticed.

It made sense if you looked at it that way. Or at least it did to Shinra in terms of expense towards their perfect SOLDIER's. After all there was no sense in spending further time and money training soldiers who wouldn't be able to truly rise to the rank of SOLDIER. Shinra was as much about the pursuit of perfection (and consequently destroying it) as they were about profit.

It had only been a few weeks since the survival test, a few weeks since he'd reaffirmed his friendship with Zack. With the relationship going as well as it was now looking back at the way he'd acted he felt kind of silly. It seemed that once he'd worked through his issues with the black haired man he'd been mostly fine much like with Vincent. He was glad for that. It was almost like a weight off of his shoulders at the knowledge he didn't have to keep on his toes when Zack came around.

And yet there was still so much pressure in his life. It almost felt like he could break down at any moment of the day with every step forward he took. He'd come so far and yet with that knowledge came the knowledge that he still had so far to go. It was both a freedom and a pressure that made him so tense he found himself almost unable to function when he thought about it too hard. He was but one person, and there was so much to do and know.

But it was as he opened the door and entered the gym his anxiety levels spiked although his face and eyes were as impassive as they were at any other time. Life and experience had taught him well how to shield himself from the world. Lucky it had because before him was his instructor for the day, none other than Angeal Hewley himself. It did make sense since he'd decided to specialise in the buster sword. Who else would fine tune the skills he needed for the difficult weapon other than the master of the sword, and one of the big three?

As cadets they'd learnt the basics of a few standard styles, buster sword wasn't one of them. It was only as they'd moved past cadet level and into their final specialised training that he'd had the option of picking up the buster sword. Of course his commanding officer at the time had recommended a broadsword something like what Genesis carried instead. It would have logically made sense for his body type and size if he hadn't already had the knowledge and enhanced strength he needed for his weapon of choice.

That made today more important than any other class previous. Today was the test of whether he could handle the weapon he chose or whether they would force him into using something else. It was crucial if he wanted to stick with the weapon he was used to. Anything else was useable but not as comfortable as a buster blade. He'd simply had more experience with the larger bulky blade. If he performed well then he'd be allowed to keep using his weapon of choice, if he didn't they wouldn't waste any more money on a useless endeavour.

"Cloud, welcome," Angeal said looking the slim blond up and down.

Cloud certainly didn't look at first glance like the type of person suited to the buster blade. He was slim and rather short. Shorter than most of the others in his surviving class. There had been only one other who had registered his interest in working with the buster sword, and whilst he hadn't displayed an overwhelming amount of grace when working with the weapon he'd been tall and bulky.

Without having to be told Cloud made his way to the middle of the room where Angeal was standing after dumping his water bottle and towel out of the way for later use. He had the feeling that he was going to need it. From the memories Zack had left him he knew that Angeal could be a bit of a slave driver when he sense talent. At the very least Cloud was going to have to show a little bit of talent.

"What makes you want to use a buster sword Cloud?" Angeal asked, "Wouldn't a broadsword be better for someone of your build?"

"Yeah, I know. I've heard it before from several people. Based on my build it would seem like a good idea for me to be using a broadsword because it's lighter and the fighting style it needs uses more strategy moves than brute strength. However I trained hard for this. I'm stronger than I look, and the buster sword is something that I want to use." Cloud replied looking the ebony haired fighter straight in the eyes.

"You're determined?"

"I'm determined," Cloud replied nodding his head in agreement.

"Then I guess we had better get started and see whether or not your determination is all for nothing," Angeal said aloud in his slightly gruff tone.

It couldn't be said the SOLDIER didn't admire the blond for having such determination, dreams and honour. As many men could attest it was an important subject for him. A soldier was nothing but a monster without dreams and honour among a few other important things. They were traits that one wouldn't appreciate until they came to the brink of losing them.

"Have you stretched and warmed up or do I need to give you a few minutes to do it?" Angeal asked wondering what kind of discipline the blond had.

"I've stretched already, but I would like a few minutes to make sure I'm ready," Cloud said with a thoughtful tone. He'd stretched and done a few exercises before turning up to his session to make sure that he was prepared, but he didn't want to risk having cooled down too much whilst they were speaking.

Angeal nodded his head in acknowledgement and Cloud knew then that he'd given the right answer so far. He could only hope he managed to continue to pass the tests thrown his way with such ease. He could only focus on completing his task as well as he dared. With a deep inhale of breath Cloud sank into a few deep stretches letting the air go slowly and bringing it back in again to ready both mind and body.

When that was done he moved through a very simple martial arts kata to ensure he was ready. A quick block flew to the left turning his body with it, followed by a punch. Two rapid and controlled punches flew forward as he stepped onwards towards his imaginary target. His focus was complete as he centred himself; almost completely unaware of the inky haired fighter watching him attentively.

A turning block left the blond facing forwards again as he moved and punched through his kata. Punches and blocks moved together until finally with a last hit the sequence was done and the blond was ready to go. His mind was centred and his body stretched and warmed; ready for the combat to come. He moved back towards the man who had been watching his movements closely and taking a few notes on a notepad he kept on hand for writing reports upon.

"Done?" Angeal asked as he looked the waiting boy up and down taking in the way his body barely seemed to have noticed the exercise it had undergone. His hair was still as gravity defying as it had been when he'd first entered the room, and there was no visible sweat. It showed that the boy was a hard worker and obviously practised often if his movements had caused so little outward effect and yet had been precise and perfect.

Another point in Cloud's favour.

"Yes, I think I'm ready now thank you," Cloud replied with a nod.

"Good," Angeal replied before turning to retrieve the buster swords that he'd stashed in the room earlier.

They were only practice swords so they weren't as sharp or as lethal as in the case of the real deal. However even with the fact they weren't as sharp and battle ready as the real thing because of the size and weight of the weapon he'd had to bring the tools to the room himself. Busters weren't allowed to be kept where just anyone could access them after an unfortunate incident involving a couple cadets only a year earlier.

The wounded cadet had ended up having his guts spilled on the floor after the wielder of the blade had been unsuccessful at lifting the weighty sword high enough to form a complete attack. Certainly it had been more than anyone had bargained for. Since that unfortunate event cadets hadn't been allowed near the weapons until they were allowed to specialise. There had been few ever since who had actually picked the art of the buster up since they'd either not seen it or not had the chance to try it before saying which weapon they wanted. Most men just stuck with the standard sword they'd all learnt with.

Cloud accepted his weapon easily, his hand already gripping the weapon correctly as he lifted it to the ready position. Angeal raised a brow at that wondering how the blond knew the correct thing to do with it.

"I went to watch Zack training the other day and when I mentioned I wanted to specialise in the buster he showed me a couple things," Cloud said correctly deducing what the SOLDIER first class had been thinking.

At least what Cloud had said was true. He'd made a point of seeking Zack out at a time he knew the other man would be training so that if he showed too much skill he could claim that he'd had a little help. Not that Zack was an expert on the subject by any means at that point in time but it made a good enough cover.

The sable haired man had a unique specialisation in that he hadn't really specialised at all. That was part of the reason that he'd ended up working with Angeal permanently. He didn't have the focus for one weapon, and whilst he wanted and had the strength to handle the buster he'd only learnt it in bits and pieces so far. The buster wasn't something that you learnt quickly, it was definitely a weapon requiring practise and a lot of training.

Zack was like a hurricane. The power to decimate and destroy with devastating force in one being. He was barely contained energy that when yielded and pushed in the right direction had the ability to be of use to Shinra. And that's all that the company really cared about. Profit, use and the advantage their 'possessions' could give them. The only way to provide the focus and direction that Zack needed was to stick him with Angeal until he was able to maintain the ethic on his own.

When the puppy had learnt all he could from Angeal then he would be released from the mentorship. It wasn't an entirely common practice to have a one on one mentor, but at the same time it wasn't unheard of for the practice to happen either. All going well then Zack would gain the focus and determination of his own volition and not by the death of the man he came to care for. Because that was Zack all over. No matter who it was that he befriended Zack managed to care for them, and they at least a modicum in return.

Accepting, at least for the time being, the fact that Cloud had dropped into his lap Angeal took the knowledge that his student was helping a friend and moved on. Now wasn't the time. They'd waited long enough it was time to put the blond through his paces and see whether the time he'd spent waiting for this was worth it.

Cloud hefted the sword up again at the look on Angeal's face. If the man was impressed that his slim and 'unenhanced' build could manage the weight of the buster then he didn't show it.

"We're going to start with basic strikes; you just need to take me through drills like you did with your practise sword," Angeal said in an authoritative tone as he too hefted his sword into position.

The first strike was fairly simple although it required a show of strength to lift the blade above his head. It was a two handed downward blow that moved from above the head to the point where if the blow was landed and not intercepted it would cleave the opponent in two from head to mid stomach. Muscles bunched and flexed as in a precise and controlled movement Cloud copied the movement Angeal showed him and continued to repeat it over and over whilst the man watched and evaluated.

"Five"

"Four"

"Three"

"Two"

"One" Angeal counted down making a few notes about the blond on his notepad, giving Cloud a moment to rest whilst he did so before picking up his sword again.

The second movement blurred into the third, and the fourth and the sixth and before he knew it Cloud had finished all the drills. They took a moment to rest and take a sip or two of water before Angeal and Cloud turned to face each other. Cloud's lips quirked up a little around the edges as he felt the anticipation of a good fight building up inside of him. The weapon in his hand was familiar and welcome as he slunk towards the middle of the room.

"Are you ready?" Angeal asked as he moved forward too, ever the honourable SOLDIER, not wanting to start a battle with someone new to the buster blade before they were ready.

"Ready," Cloud confirmed with a nod his eyes sweeping the SOLDIER first class up and down assessing him.

Knowing that Angeal wouldn't attack him first Cloud made the first move going for the movement he'd drilled on first. The heavy training sword lifted up above his head and flew down again to connect with the SOLDIER's. The loud clang the contact made influenced his decision to launch himself backwards, simultaneously swinging the blade down and through in front of him to prevent his opponent rushing in whilst he was unprotected.

Angeal gave a nod of acknowledgment before taking motion and going after the blond. Of course he wasn't able to go at full strength or speed with an unenhanced and untried student but that didn't mean he wouldn't challenge him. He needed an accurate idea of the determination, strength and skill the soldier had before he was enhanced. Even with chemical enhancements if a student didn't have the right combination of those attributes to begin with then there was a slim chance they would gain the right combination with some genetic help.

With a sideways downward slash Cloud moved aside deflecting the blow and swept the blade back to attack with the heavy pommel. Angeal moved out of the way quickly not expecting the move his feet coming together awkwardly for a moment and setting him momentarily off balance. With a jump backward Angeal avoided the blade that swept towards him in an attempt to take advantage to the off kilter SOLDIER.

For a moment Cloud found himself missing the First Tsurugi and its collapsible parts. If he'd had his custom weapon he'd had released the catch and used one of his smaller blades as well to catch the sturdy soldier off guard. Although it was perhaps for the better that he didn't have his weapon of choice based upon the fact that he'd showed off a little more than was necessary already.

With a mental sigh Cloud amped his efforts down and pretended to be getting a little bit overwhelmed and tired from lugging such a huge heavy sword around. With a conscious effort that didn't show on his face the blond slowed his movements down a little allowing Angeal to get quite close before he moved out of the way. His offensive movements became more about defence and his sword dipped a little out of the on point position every now and then.

The spar lasted only a few minutes past that point before Angeal called the situation to a close. The man gestured for Cloud to grab a drink of water and begin his cool down whilst he took some more notes. Calmly and languidly Cloud made his way over to the beckoning water bottle and lay his sword down before slurping down some water. When his thirst had been quenched the bottle was laid aside in favour of a cool down.

With strong but slow movements he began running through some of the kata he knew again. The almost Tai Chi style of the movement was both calming and helpful. The repetitive movements gave him time to think without having to focus as he ran through actions long since ingrained into his body. Breaths drew and released in a gentle focused pattern as the blond centred himself.

"Good Cloud. Thanks, you've passed the test. You can use a buster sword as your primary weapon," Angeal said with a nod as he moved across the room to retrieve the sword he'd given the young blond. He almost added that at first he'd had his doubts about the boy's ability to handle the difficult weapon but managed to restrain himself.

"You have your first mako session next week on Tuesday; when you've recovered from the effects of the session you'll be given another time for training. When you're feeling better then we can work on the difference between enhance fighting techniques and unenhanced fighting techniques. You might not believe it but the difference the injection makes is very noticeable," Angeal said with a smile in an attempt to be comforting.

"How long do you think I'll be out after my injection?" Cloud asked trying to think of how long the average was. He knew that some people took up to a fortnight to successfully acclimate the changes but it seemed to depend on a matter of factors. Since he was already enhanced he wasn't sure what the effects would be or how the changes might hit him.

"Well the least amount of time for a first time injection is about four days. The mako needs time to enhance your cells and embed itself into them. You get a fever after being injected as the injection makes its way into your muscles and when the fever is gone you're just about ready. So it depends on how resilient your body it. The more it tries to fight off the enhancement the longer it takes," Angeal replied trying to be as helpful as possible, "Don't worry though, it isn't as bad as it sounds."

"Good, because it sounds like hell," Cloud said with a weak smile in an attempt to make a joke and fit in a little.

Angeal laughed a deep chuckle in reply as he replied in affirmative before sending Cloud on his way. He couldn't help but watch as the blond left thinking about the session they'd just had. It was interesting. Very interesting indeed.

~ 0 ~

Sephiroth sat at his desk, silver hair spilling down over his shoulders, staring at the open report in front of him. A gentle and contemplative frown, the mere hint of a downward turn marring his lips. A million such items made their way across his workspace in the place of a day. A few things however made this one paper more unique than the others.

First of all the open folder contained the newly written report by none other than his friend Angeal himself; the slanted writing distinctive and familiar. Angeal was fixated upon the traits of dreams and honour. There was no way that what that anything Angeal had to say would be anything but the honest truth. Angeal's moral integrity in and of itself made the report far more valuable. Not to mention the fact that Sephiroth trusted Angeal's judgement more than any other persons.

Secondly the report was a training review on the cadet he'd run into in the hallways of Shinra and carried to the medical bay some time ago. A young man by the name of Cloud Strife. He seemed innocent and childlike in his photo. In his sleep too, but there was something in his posture, there was something in his eyes. Almost like his soul was older, wiser somehow.

Not that Sephiroth could honestly say that he believed in the human soul; such philosophy's had been discouraged by Hojo from a young age. Life force sure; that was what the lifestream was. Soul no. However it was that very thing which he found himself looking for in Strife. There was just something about him that didn't match what he should be. Something that didn't fit. It was a puzzle, and there was nothing Sephiroth enjoyed more than a good puzzle.

The light was damn near gone from the large windows of his office. Most of the light was from the glaring overhead fixtures now. He'd overstayed more time than he meant to. A quick glance at the clock showed that it was seven thirty already. In a little over an hour he was meant to be meeting Genesis and Angeal for dinner.

Or poetry reading if Genesis had his way.

Cat slitted eyes cast their way back to the report that Angeal had given him. He could see that he wasn't the only one who had an interest in Cloud. Although Angeal had a fair bit more honour than he did. He was more interested in moulding the blond haired man into the perfect SOLDIER, much like he was doing with Zack Fair.

_Strife, Cloud._

_SSTC#11081986_

_Training Report._

_Strife is applying to use the buster sword as his main weapon of combat. Training and supervision for this session was given by Soldier First Class Angeal Hewley. Strife is scheduled for Mako enhancement Tuesday week from the date of this report. Initial assessment was performed unenhanced._

_Strife arrived on time and prepared for the scheduled session. Given the choice he took another moment to do a warm up showing foresight, knowledge and good habits. Without any prompting on the nature of the moves he could engage in he began revising martial arts kata at reduced speed. This combined stretching and breathing techniques as he readied his body for the assessment._

_We then commenced the training with drills. Although we drilled with a few over the head and angled strikes that require precision and strength, Strife was able to pull them off with minimal difficulty. He picked the techniques up quickly and retained them faster than most people new to the buster sword._

_The next stage of the session was to compete with Strife in a spar to gauge the level of retention and skill. In this endeavour he surpassed my expectations. Not only did he demonstrate many of the skills that we had covered in the drills, but a few moves that were improvised. He kept up with my speed (at a reduced level) and strength (at a reduced level) with relative ease for the first half of the spar, flagging towards the end._

_The session was completed with the cool down which again Strife completed on his own, without any prompting. He completed more kata and rehydrated himself properly before ceasing activity. We conversed on the subject of the upcoming injections and the expectations of what the changes might be and what was to happen before he was dismissed._

_At initial glance I had my doubts about allowing the boy to use the buster sword. His slight build and smaller height than the average buster sword user made me doubt his ability to even lift the sword. I was however proven wrong and pleasantly surprised at the ease with which he not only lifted the blade but completed all the movements he was shown as well as the spar._

_Strife demonstrates determination, intelligence, strength and innovation. I have approved him for further training with the buster sword. The next session will be scheduled after Strife's enhancements have been completed. I believe that Strife will come to be a valuable to asset to the SOLDIER program._

_Soldier First Class,_

_Angeal Hewley,_

_Supervising Officer._

Sephiroth closed the folder with a final glance at the identification picture included in the file after signing his name on the report under Angeal's as proof that he'd read and approved the paper. It was interesting. Although it sounded much like any other report he'd read there were things here and there that spoke volumes of Angeal's interest too. The references to his doubts and the surprise he'd had that the boy had been able to perform so well might not have stood out too much to anyone who hadn't known him very well. To Sephiroth it was glaringly obvious.

Getting to his feet Sephiroth glanced out the window. The sky was dark and the city below lit up with a million pin prick lights. The blanket of light would be almost pretty if it weren't for the glaring streams of Shinra's light. It was a shame really. A quick glance at the time told Sephiroth that he was far overdue to be leaving the office and with a final survey of the area he left to head to Angeal's house.

There was a discussion to be had. Sephiroth couldn't help but wonder what Genesis; the most openly opinionated of the three would have to say about the situation.

~ 0 ~

Days came and passed quickly until before he knew it the day of his mako injection was here. Cloud stood in the waiting room the nervousness he was feeling only barely showing on his face. The injections of his previous lifetime were nothing to compare to the ones he was about to get. Those had been stronger and laced with god knows what. He couldn't compare the experience to anything that had happened previously, and that made it all the scarier.

One of the things that had helped the blond make it as far as he had was the foreknowledge he'd gained. Not knowing was almost terrifying. The only thing worse was the medical bay. It was white and sterile. The whole area smelled like chemical cleaner and anaesthetic. Cloud wrinkled his nose as the doors into medical area opened and a particularly strong waft of smell made its way to his nostrils.

"Mr Strife? They're ready for you now if you'll just come this way," A young nurse said with a soft smile and a gentle tone. Clearly she was trying to be soothing and comforting to someone who she knew would no doubt be scared.

With a sigh Cloud got to his feet and made his way to the prepared room after the nurse. He'd always wondered why they did it in a separate room. Now he supposed he'd find out the reason because although they were big on privacy when it came to some of their secrets they weren't big on extending it to everyone therefore that couldn't be the reason.

The room the pair entered was sparse, although fairly large. All of the fittings were made out of metal or strengthened glass much like the labs in the science department. This room was made to contain mako enhanced subjects just as much as the labs were. Now he knew why they used a separate room for the injections. A final glance at the table he was supposed to lay on whilst the enhancements were being made left a wobbly feeling of fear in the pit of his stomach.

"If you could just remove your shirt and lay down on the bench please?" asked the young lady with a quick hand gesture.

Blue eyes wide Cloud made his way over to the table. With swift movements he pulled his shirt off, handed it to the nurse and lay down on the table. The leather stuck to his skin uncomfortably as he shifted around in an attempt to get comfortable. Not that he could be comfortable when lying on a bench in a room designed to hold SOLDIER's. Then the situation got worse when the nurse began strapping him down.

Seeing the fear and the urge to fight in Cloud's eyes she smiled and spoke in a soothing tone, "It's going to be okay, it's just so you don't hurt yourself or anyone else once the mako starts to kick in."

Moving to lay the shirt aside the nurse then left the room for a moment leaving Cloud strapped to the table all on his own. He had to fight not to hyperventilate as the fear began to build up. It was as if he'd reverted back to that room Hojo had kept him and Zack in. Tilting his head back he almost expected to see the dark haired man floating in a giant tube of liquid. He wasn't sure when he did so if the lack of his friend being there was a relief or added anxiety. A little bit of both perhaps?

Finally after a moment the nurse returned and brought with her none other than Hojo himself. Cloud had almost allowed himself to forget that in an effort to make sure that no one other than Hojo was allowed to perform the enhancements lest he become replaceable. The glinting glasses, the greasy hair pulled back in a messy ponytail. Not to mention a face like someone threw a brick at it; Probably Sephiroth. The mad scientist was hard to mistake; he had a very distinctive look.

The look in his beady eyes for a moment made Cloud shift nervously as the scientist seemed to be mentally dissecting him. Thank god Zack had agreed to meet him outside the room and sit at his bedside and keep an eye on him once the initial injection had been completed. The best part was that he hadn't even needed to ask. Once he'd given his friend the date of his injection he'd offered to meet him saying that the injections were scary and that he'd had someone there for him and it was easier than being alone. There was no way the blond haired man was going to refuse that offer.

Hojo moved wordlessly across the room and picked up the waiting tray of tools and chemicals from the preparation counter across the room. As Cloud had remembered, everything about the man and the way he worked was impersonal and cold. He almost expected the scientist to begin cackling to himself and speaking in insensible snippets about experiments he planned to or already had conducted. The silence and beady gaze was unsettling for the blond who was really starting to wish he wasn't strapped to a bed.

Lifting a syringe from the metal tray the greasy man pushed the needle into the vial of shining liquid drawing it up the tunnel and into the chamber. When the vial was drained and the syringe full Hojo removed the object and with a quick flick and squirt to dislodge any air bubbles plunged the needle into Cloud's veins swiftly.

Aside from the pain of the rough jab, the first thing that Cloud felt was the sudden cooling sensation of liquid filling him as the plunger was depressed. Of course that feeling couldn't last and within seconds that coolness turned into a searing screaming pain. Even with the fore knowledge of how the substance reacted with his body the feeling couldn't compare. Time and poor memory had dulled the feeling he'd felt then so that nothing could compare with this.

Even tied down the pain was unbearable enough that Cloud began thrashing about in an attempt to escape the pain. His teeth were clenched shut so hard his jaw ached to hold the sounds that were attempting to claw their way out of his throat in. The pain was killing him as it settled through all of his extremities from face to feet. When every last inch of his body was searing with pain the pain dull down to be replaced by burning heat.

Sweat pooled on Cloud's brow, his cheeks flushing as he lay still on the bed exhaustion slowly settling in. At seeing this stage hit Hojo put the tray aside for someone else to clean up (he wasn't a cleaner that was what they paid the custodian for), and left the room. His mind was already thinking about experiments again, that blond would have made a fabulous specimen for deepground if he wasn't already so entrenched in the SOLDIER program. If he'd heard about the boy earlier he would have taken him for his lab, but at the moment it was too late.

Perhaps later.

The nurse quickly set to work removing Cloud from the restraints and helping him into the awaiting wheelchair. The whole time she chatted idly about the weather and the inane soaps she watched in the break room trying to be soothing and keep the blond from panicking. As she wheeled him out she called out to the black haired man waiting around the corner who had made his way in as Hojo left.

"Hey Cloudy, looking pretty hot there," Zack joked in reference to the fever building in his body as they walked over to the bed that Cloud was to be occupying for the duration of his fever.

"Funny," Cloud mumbled weakly as he allowed the raven haired man to help him into his bed and pull the covers up.

"Was it as bad as thought it would be?" Zack asked as he took a seat next to the hospital bed, reaching a hand up to brush the blond hair sticking to his friend's clammy head aside.

"Worse," Cloud replied with an exhausted grin.

Zack nodded and laughed, "Yeah, it is pretty bad huh?"

"Mmmhmm," Cloud hummed his eyes drifting shut, the fight against the pain he'd felt earlier having sapped all his strength.

"Get some sleep Cloud, you're tired I know. I'll keep an eye on you, everything will be fine," Zack said smiling fondly at his friend as he settled in to keep watch over him, "Sweet Dreams Cloud."

"Thanks…Zack" Cloud mumbled softly.

"You're welcome, now hush Chocobo head" Zack said softly with a grin.

Cloud's lips turned up at the edges as he fell asleep. Even with the burning heat filling his body he was too exhausted to go on anymore. He felt safe with Zack watching over him. Zack wouldn't let anything happen or anyone experiment on him. Even in an environment where he didn't feel comfortable his friend's presence meant the world.

* * *

Thanks for reading, please don't kill me. But do R&R because it motivates me to put up chapters faster (as long as I don't get bogged down too much with crap). Seriously, the more people I feel I disappoint, the less likely I am to take an eternity to write. I avoid conflict like that.


	16. The Outsider

_Hey guys, sorry it's been so long. First there was NaNo, then there was uni, then Christmas, and then I got writers block. Things just weren't running smoothly for me. Oh well, hopefully this chapter should make up for it a little. When it rains, it steams._

This chapters name is The Outsider by A Perfect Circle.

_**Word Count;** 8000_

_________**Warnings**; Steam! Finally something to warn you about. Explicit sexual content. There's a warning before it and after it for those who don't want to read it as it isn't integral to the plot. If you don't want to read it then either scroll to the brackets after the warning manually or push ctrl + F and enter 'It's Safe Now'_

_______________________________**Disclaimer**; The only thing I own is this cup of coffee, love a proper home made espresso in the morning._

* * *

Rewind

Chapter 15

The Outsider

The tension at the table was palpable. Everyone could feel it. Even the ever oblivious Zack was able to pick up on the awkward atmosphere. Granted Zack was glancing around the table with wide eyes and a bit of a pout twisting his lips. Cloud glanced at the clearly confused man with a wry smile. After all this had been all his idea.

~ 0 ~

Cloud had tried to get out of the dinner all week since Zack had casually slipped it into conversation and left before he had a chance to reply. He'd known and dreaded this from the moment the subject had been brought up and then Zack had conveniently been out on missions all week whenever Cloud made the effort to find him. Being friends with just about everybody he'd ever met, Cloud had no doubt that if he wanted to Zack could pull strings to arrange his schedule that way. Damn puppy.

For a few moments earlier in the day Cloud had considered last ditch attempts at getting out of the whole ordeal. Unfortunately each and every idea that he'd come up with had quickly been mentally vetoed. First he'd considered throwing a sickie and visiting the medical station. That idea was quickly turned down when he remembered that as a cadet last time he'd had a bad case of the measles and that hadn't stopped the SOLDIER from breaking in to see him and contracting the illness himself.

Next he'd considered just disappearing for the day before the rest of the men were even awake, thank god he woke up ungodly early, training on his own and damn the consequences. But then Zack would have found him, he had the nose of a bloodhound when it came to things like that. Really all things considered the sable haired man should have been a Turk with some of his skills. Getting people to talk to him, intuitively finding his target, underhanded sneaky tactics at getting his own way (such as announcing a dinner date and leaving).

Finally he'd considered just slipping a note under Zack's door saying he couldn't go and then volunteering for extra training at the same time that the dinner was on. But of course Zack would just interrupt and drag him away anyway once he found the letter. Truly there was no way out of the interaction and as much as he might dread it there would be no escape short of grievous harm or death. Which Zack might just have been able to revive him from, just to complain and punish him for ruining dinner at any rate, nope nothing short of a miracle could save him.

.3

With that in mind Cloud had made sure to make himself extra presentable before setting off with trepidation towards Angeal's apartment. Naturally the dinner party was being held at Angeal's house as other than Genesis' ability with dumb apples he was the only one of the lot who actually knew how to cook anything more elaborate than basic field rations. When Angeal, Sephiroth and Genesis had become friends they'd agreed to meet for weekly dinners to relieve the stress of the job; when they were all at home at the same time at any rate.

It had become a sort of a tradition that Zack had occasionally been invited to since Angeal was training him. Coming to dinner was a privilege of sorts that was placed upon the sable haired man when he had performed particularly well. Of course for the sake of Sephiroth's sanity he didn't come to dinner too often, they were easing the silver haired man into the company of other's as gently as they could. Purely by a stroke of luck Cloud had been invited to dinner. Angeal had been discussing Cloud with Zack over the previous week's dinner and Sephiroth proposed the blond be invited to this one.

Just another reason that Cloud couldn't escape from this dinner party.

Standing at the door Cloud ran a quick nervous hand through his hair and let out a sight before deciding to get on with it. With a fluttery butterfly feeling in the pit of his stomach he raised a hand to the door and gently knocked. Every moment that he was waiting felt like an eternity and made the butterflies worse. Sometimes he felt more his physical age than his metaphysical age. Finally the door was opened and Zack's face was smiling at him as he gripped Cloud by the shoulders and forcefully pulled the blond in.

The movement in the apartment stopped as all three other men in the room turned to look at Cloud and Zack. Cloud's hand jerked noticeably as he itched to complete his nervous habit of running his hand through his hair again. He knew it would only show his nerves more obviously and mess up his hair even more than it already would be. So much for Cloud brushing his hair earlier in an attempt to tame it. Sometimes he cursed the imbalance in his head that made situations like these so much more nerve wracking than they had to be.

"Cloud, welcome," Angeal said with a nod of his head before heading into the kitchen to check on the meal.

Cloud nodded his head at Genesis and Sephiroth in greeting, "Hello."

The two soldier's nodded back silently staring at him. He couldn't help but wonder if this was going to be the way things were all night. Of course they were. He was like a fascinating specimen pinned down to watch by the shackles of obligation. Could the situation have been any more awkward? Thank god at that moment Angeal stepped out of the kitchen with their dinner and instead of standing in tense silence they were able to sit in tense silence.

Unfortunately, although Cloud was able to sit across from Zack he ended up having to sit next to Genesis because each of the men had their usual seats. The sheer proximity of the man next to him was a little bit strange. Up until this point the closest he'd been to the big three was training and that time Sephiroth had taken him to the medical bay, of course he'd been pretty out of it during that one. He hadn't really interacted with Genesis at all since coming to Shinra and the only things he knew about the man came from Zack's memories.

Like some kind of weird family dinner, all of the food dishes were passed around and they all filled up their plates. Angeal must have been cooking for a while to have completed a dinner like this. There was corn, peas, beans, roast meat, mashed potato and a Banora apple salad. There was so much food to choose from. Ever one for balance, and apples, Cloud helped himself to a little bit of everything. Silently digging in he let his lips curve up in an appreciative smile at the pleasant taste.

"This is nice, thank you for inviting me," Cloud said in an attempt to break the awkward silence.

"You're welcome Cloud, you've been doing so well in training lately that we felt you deserved a reward. I'm glad that you like dinner though," Angeal replied with a nod and a smile obviously pleased by the compliment.

"And of course I wanted to meet you since I'm the only one you haven't met yet," Genesis said with a rather self-important tone, a smirk of a smile quirked across his face.

Cloud couldn't help but shift a little uncomfortably at the red head's statement of interest. First he'd intrigued Sephiroth, then Angeal and now Genesis. He might as well just confess all of his plans for all the covertness he'd managed. Of course he'd known from the beginning that there was no way he was going to be able to work for Shinra and not draw attention. Some things just couldn't be managed if he wasn't in the know. Naturally the only way to get in the know was to make friends amongst the knowing, and in a turn of full circle; to make himself known to Shinra. Of course he'd known this would happen, it was the only course forward however much he wished otherwise.

"Well Sephiroth helped me when I was….sick," Cloud said softly, "and Angeal has been working with me because I've been learning to work with the buster. I guess up until this point we haven't really had a reason to meet each other."

"Yes, but this is only a dinner, perhaps we should do something more so that it's fair," Genesis replied his face connivingly thoughtful. Of course he would press his advantage to get what he wanted, from what he could recall that was Genesis all over.

"Like what?" Cloud asked his tone even unbetraying of his thoughts although his eyes flashed a little bit brighter with suspicion for a moment.

The extra mako he had been imbued with had outwardly given little effect other than making his blue eyes a tad brighter and more inclined to react with his thoughts. As time passed the reactivity of the mako in his eyes was dimming, and the blue orbs were lighting up less frequently and less obviously with searing green. Soon the brilliant blue eyes that everyone had been used to would be all but back to normal and the strange green eyed monster flashes would be over with.

Or rather the flashes would be gone until the next time Cloud was injected; usually for a promotion or a top up if mako levels were getting too low as did happen when you had high levels of the substance in your body. Sephiroth for instance, although he was considered to be the ultimate soldier and Hojo's crowning achievement, had his levels closely monitored too. Sephiroth had an injection on a monthly basis. No doubt he didn't need as many top ups as he received but nothing short of a miracle would make Hojo give up a chance for another experiment.

"Perhaps we could have a light spar," Genesis suggested flicking his hair out his face and exposing his earing, eyes flashing with interest.

"Gen-" Angeal began only to cut himself off at the look on the red head's face, shaking his head and knowing that should he step in he would be in for one hell of a fight.

Trying to change Genesis' mind once he'd settled on something took nothing short of a miracle. Usually the more you pushed and prodded the fiery SOLDIER the more invested and determined he became to do things his own way. It was safer just to save your words and set about changing the ways in which things went down by taking part in them.

"Perhaps we could spar tomorrow. I have some free time at noon where I was going to train on my own. I could spare some time for a cadet though I suppose," Genesis continued thoughtfully acting as if Angeal hadn't said anything at all, they both knew how this worked by now.

Mentally Cloud rolled his eyes at the way Genesis made it seem as if an honour was being offered up to him to have the great and wonderful Genesis Rhapsodos. Even the way in which the time the spar would go down at was taken for granted, as if the blond had nothing better to do with his day. It would be stupid to make a big deal about the proposed spar and with a mental sigh Cloud was forced to agree to the proposal.

"Sure, it sounds like a good opportunity to get some training done," Cloud said with a smile and nod before turning his attention back to his dinner.

Sephiroth seemed to be paying rapt attention to the interaction, and something told the blond that there was more than a little chance that the silver haired man had every intention of turning up to the sparring session to watch tomorrow. He'd have to be extra careful and watch what he was doing. He couldn't risk getting caught up in the challenge of the situation and showing too much of his hand.

The silver haired SOLDIER had clearly become so interested in the conversation that he'd abandoned his meal altogether in favour of staring at Cloud. When the blond turned his head to look at the man he found himself caught deep in that piercing mercury gaze. The cat slit eyes were slightly narrowed in thoughtful concentration. Like whirlpools of colour they drew the blond down until he felt like he was drowning in them. He began leaning in towards the entrancing figure, his body tilting in a diagonal with the urge to join Sephiroth and get closer to him.

A sudden hand on his shoulder drew him out of the trance and snapped Cloud back to reality. For a moment he worried that the Jenova gene inside of him might be causing the intense need inside of him but the chance to ponder the situation didn't last long before Genesis was talking to him and causing a distraction.

"Strife? Are you okay?" Genesis questioned clearly confused by the way that the blond seemed about ready to keel over into to now nearly empty food dishes.

With the rate at which Mako raised the metabolism SOLDIER's were inclined to eat a fair amount more than your standard unenhanced soldier. He couldn't help but wonder when the last time Cloud had eaten was. Perhaps the newly enhanced man wasn't used to the rules of such a life yet and had been skipping meals. Once you were used to the changes and your body had finished adapting that was fine, but the newly enhanced took a while to balance out and their system overcompensated at first. The mako enhancements burned more calories than your average diet can give you. Of course the side effect was unadvertised, that was Shinra for you, and luckily even the longest cases were fixed within six months.

"Yeah, sorry about that I'm fine," Cloud replied shaking his head as if to shake off the haze that was overlaid his brain.

"Have you been eating properly?" Angeal asked ever the one that was willing to show concern as if to make up for the lack of visible concern from the other two men.

"Perhaps not," Cloud replied softly as he leant back in his seat and closed his eyes shaking his head a little and wondering if perhaps that indeed was to blame. He hadn't really been eating regularly lately, and perhaps having that added enhancement was making his system every bit as loopy as the other newly enhanced were. It certainly couldn't be…anything else could it? There wasn't any Jenova in him anymore; the gradual infusion of his soul had ensured that any of that leech's influence was washed away.

So what options did that leave? Cloud turned his gaze to the silver haired man across from him and found himself entranced again by the sight of Sephiroth's gaze but thankfully the sudden interest only lasted but a moment of time. The clatter of a fork being laid onto a plate brought the blond back to the real world again, a slight flush of colour flitting across Cloud's cheek with embarrassment. He couldn't believe how out of it an dopey he was acting. It was more than a little bit embarrassing to act so stupid in front of people who, although he wouldn't admit it aloud, he was seeking acceptance from.

"You should know better Cloud," Angel said with a disapproving tone, "From the moment you pass your exams you're told to eat properly."

"You're right," Cloud agreed his lips turning down in a frown.

"Lucky you came tonight eh spikey?" Zack said with a self-satisfied grin.

With a sigh Cloud shook his head with wry amusement. He wasn't going to come up with a reply because anything he could say would mean that he'd have to give the whole problem deeper thought and that was treading on dangerous territory. It was better to stick to the basic stuff that he was already familiar with like befriending and using as many people as he could get away with in order to bring down Shinra, stop Sephiroth and save the world. Now that wasn't complicated at all in any way. It wasn't at all concerning that a topic like stopping a soul sucking company and a rampaging (or soon to be at any rate) madman and saving the world was a more comfortable topic of thought than…his poor eating habit. Why would it be? Dangerous territory again.

Cloud risked a glance at the watch he wore and mentally cheered at the time. It was late, far too late for him to stay any longer, Cloud needed to get back to his bed before he got himself into trouble for disobeying curfew. Until you officially became a ranking SOLDIER you had a weeknight curfew of midnight in order to make sure that Shinra's men were trained in healthy sleeping habits. After that it was hoped that you were smart enough to monitor your sleep and energy levels on your own.

"Well, I should go," Cloud said getting to his feet and gesturing to his watch, "Curfew starts in a few minutes and even if I was at dinner with the first class SOLDIER's I don't think that's a good excuse to act like I'm above the rules. Thank you for dinner though, I've really enjoyed it. All I need is a few good hours sleep and then I'll be ready for our sparring match tomorrow."

Angeal nodded his head and replied with a generic, "You're quite welcome."

"You'd better," said Genesis referring to the good night's sleep, "I don't intend to take it easy on you because you weren't smart enough to take care of yourself."

It was such a typical Genesis answer in the way it was worded and delivered that the blond haired man had to resist the urge to snort and roll his eyes. Clearly Zack had no such problem which quickly drew a disapproving glare from the fiery and slightly self-absorbed red-head. The slouched position of the sable haired man indicate that he had no plans on moving any time soon, which was rather lucky considering that Cloud wasn't in the mood to have an excitable puppy bounce along next to him bombarding the blond with questions.

"You're quite right, it is getting late. I will accompany you back, I think it's time for me to go as well," Sephiroth replied with a nod of his head, quickly getting to his feet, "Goodbye."

Like Zack, Genesis seemed disinclined to leave either for which Cloud was thankful. It was going to be awkward enough walking back with Sephiroth at his side without adding Genesis into the mix as well. Precise and clean by habit there was a no shoes inside policy in Angeal's house. Waiting for Sephiroth to get his boots on was awkward and a little bit embarrassing.

In the past Cloud had only fought the silver haired man. He hadn't taken the time to take stock of the way he dressed and type of clothes he wore. Cloud had never had the time or the inclination to do so either when he was a cadet or in his previous life. It didn't seem all that important, and why should it? It wasn't as though he was some pubescent girl twittering around boutiques and sighing over the outfit choices of a certain silver haired SOLDIER.

And yet Cloud found himself staring fixedly as Sephiroth drew his boots up his legs. The supple leather of well-worn and well-crafted boots slid easily up the man's legs and folded around the leather pants covering them. With practised ease the SOLDIER slipped the thigh high boots on and buckled them up. In the same vein as his trademark coat the boots had several buckles to hold them in place. Looking the man up and down for a moment before he finally stood straight dressed and ready to go, Cloud couldn't help but wonder how hard all those buckles would make removing all those layers. After a long day it must be quite a battle to get all those buckles undone and off of his body.

"Ready?" Sephiroth asked Cloud, not really one to waste time or words.

"Yes," Cloud answered with a nod of his head and a wave over his shoulder to the others in the apartment.

Without another word both Cloud and Sephiroth left the apartment and made their way back out of the building. Angeal lived in SOLDIER first class housing, a block of apartments just over from the Shinra building. There weren't that many first class SOLDIER's at any one time, at the height of the program in Cloud's previous life there had only been a maximum of fourteen. Being such a high class was both an achievement and a privilege. In order to get that high you really had to have done something right.

Sephiroth on the other hand lived inside the main Shinra tower in a floor of his own. It was both a point of pride, and a security based reasoning. Having the best SOLDIER that Shinra had ever made living in the tower meant that attacks were less likely. And quite frankly it made sense; who would want to face off against Sephiroth in his home environment. That would just be asking for a blazing failure. Having Sephiroth in the building 24/7 was also a plus because it meant that should something go down inside the building there was no waiting time until the silver haired man could arrive to sort it out. Fast, efficient and completely dictated by the company rather than the person whom the decision concerned, it was decidedly a typical Shinra attitude.

New SOLDIER's like Cloud lived in the apartments by the cadet training facilities. They higher your class the more around you moved since the housing was built in a semi-circle around the Shinra tower. Having the classes spread out around the plate was a scheme specifically designed so that the forces of Shinra would respond faster. Those who were new to the SOLDIER program and third classes lived in sector 4 on the upper plate. Then second classes lived in sector 6. People who were in between were spread out among the space between the other sectors above the plate.

Of course in order to get back to his place they had to pass the Shinra tower since the quickest path home was straight through sector 0. Thankfully once they passed through the main square they were in sector 0 and Shinra tower was right there. They'd just come from sector 1 where the first classes lived (kind of ironic). It was a real upside for Genesis that living so close to sector 8 allowed him to see loveless at least once a week.

"So Cloud, what did you think of the dinner," Sephiroth asked in order to fill the silence.

An unfortunate side effect of having relatively the same kind of personality was that both of the SOLDIERS's were rather lacking in the fundamentals of social interaction. Other people carried most of the conversation in their daily interaction and when faced with the current situation they were at a slight loss. Then there was the strangeness that filled Cloud deep inside, a roiling sickness that threatened to bubble up and explode in some odd statement.

"It was nice, I can see why you do that every week," Cloud replied glancing at his feet and trying to ignore the feeling deep inside. He didn't really have anything to base it on, it was strange and new. And to be honest he wasn't sure that feeling so strange was all that welcome.

"Are you sure you'll be up to that fight with Genesis tomorrow?" Sephiroth asked looking the blond haired boy up and down taking his physique in doubtfully.

It was common knowledge among the first classes that Genesis was not a fan of losing and should there be any sign that he was starting to lose he became most unpredictable. As first classes his normal opponents were sufficiently enhanced to handle the damage that the fiery redhead could deal out but the less enhanced seconds and below might not be. Not that he was feeling concerned for the boy or anything, but that was one of his men and he should care if he was taken out of action. Of course that was it.

"I'll have to be," Cloud replied with a slightly strained smile. To smile at Sephiroth felt odd, and if someone had told him in his previous life that he'd be doing so in the future he'd have accused them of some sort of mental illness. Not that he was really one to speak on such a matter.

Sephiroth nodded silently acknowledging that Genesis would have it no other way. The tempestuous red haired SOLDIER wouldn't take no for an answer once he set his mind upon a thing. The long silvered locks of hair swayed back and forth like a pendulum as he nodded, hypnotising Cloud as they fluttered. His eyes were fixated on that silken mass and a stray thought crossed his mind; he'd love to touch the shining tresses.

Cloud started as suddenly instead of flowing silver hair he was staring at the front of a pale white neck. Blue orbs drifted up the flawless expanse, over soft pink lips past a proud nose and finally straight into silver green cat slit eyes. They were watching him in return with thinly veiled curiosity and interest. The world melted away for a moment and the pair of SOLDIER's found themselves drawn deep and entranced with each other. They subconsciously moved closer, the height difference making Sephiroth tilt his head down and Cloud tilt his head up.

The intense urge to draw each other in, to get closer and closer until they became one being was overwhelming. And yet there weren't any active Jenova cells in his system to make their bodies ache this way. There was no strangely compelling and yet utterly explainable reason for the captivating need they both felt towards each other. A burning blush rode high across the top of Cloud's cheeks as he drowned in the liquid mercury acid that was Sephiroth's eyes.

The air thickened and the prevailing humidity became a light misty rainfall. Clothes slickened and stuck to bodies, clingy and shining. Golden spikes drew down, drooping damply in the cool air. Such turns of weather were common in Midgar. The damage done to the earth by the Shinra reactors was keenly obvious in moments such as these. Obvious except to perhaps the two most currently oblivious beings atop the plate.

A long slender hand laid itself upon Cloud's shoulder, a spark of lightning arced between the two bodies at the contact. A delicious zinging tingle, the feel of mist in the air, a slick tongue sliding across plump lips almost in anticipation. Cloud's body was almost singing with the feelings pumping through it with every jackrabbit pulse of his eager heart. The hand tightened and squeezed hard enough to be just this side of painful. Gravity bent and warped around them, in and out, up and down until panting breaths were tingling across quivering lips. Blue eyes were hooded, lids fluttering like butterflies in the wind.

Air was far away out of reach and too close and claustrophobic at once. The moment was hanging by a thread, building and building until they were either going to implode or explode with the force of it. And in that moment neither person cared. The world could shatter like glass and cut them to fluttering pulsating ribbons.

And then it was gone; broken but by the power of laughing children splashing through scant and rarely seen puddles. The world had shattered and broken all around them and suddenly they did care. The hand dropped, the pair straightened, skin burned furiously and the air was solid, thick and flaming.

"I have to go," Cloud forced out, his voice strained and hoarse as he turned and stiltingly walked away leaving Sephiroth stock still with wide eyes standing contemplatively in the misty rain on the outskirts of sector one. Thirty minutes later the wild eyed silver haired man would turn up at the Shinra headquarters and proceed to completely annihilate the main virtual reality training room running the hardest simulation the company had developed.

Slowly at first Cloud moved aimlessly through the streets of the upper plate. The more his mind kept chattering the faster Cloud got, the thicker the more fire laced the air became. Gasping heaving breaths filled the air mingling with the hush of tainted rain. His vision was white and silver with speckles of black. An afterimage burnt into his brain, tainted by the excess oxygen his starving system drew in until the image looked like a photo from overexposed film.

Why, he asked himself. Firstly silently and mentally until the mental screaming became so loud it clawed its way up his throat and out his mouth. Hands braced themselves against any surface they could find that felt solid enough to stop his word from falling down like a house of cards. And still the air burned the way it had since ocean and mercury met on the street. They shouldn't have met, they shouldn't have mixed and muddled until the world stopped. They shouldn't, just couldn't, mix. The planet. Shinra. Sephiroth. Mother. He couldn't think, couldn't breathe with his head swimming in a ocean of mercury and his lungs burning like Nibelhiem.

Nibelhiem. Fire. Jenova. Madness. Future. Past. Present.

Drowning.

Burning.

Ripping, tearing, ribbons.

Darkness.

~ 0 ~

When Cloud awoke he was laying in his bed in sector 4. He had no memory of getting home after his panic attack. He hadn't been able to think straight. The weight of the world, of his problems and thoughts and feelings weighed so heavy that he hadn't been able to think. The pressure he was under was like a vice squeezing tighter and tighter until even with his advanced healing the cracks were forming faster than he could fix them.

A sigh passed the blonds lips as he sat up. A brief twinge let him know that he hadn't been out too long since the mako in his system was still working on healing up the damaged he'd caused passing flat out on the street. The bed crinkled as he shifted and a searching hand found the sheet of paper he'd inadvertently sat on. The simple white sheet was coded but the practised blond was able to quickly figure out the short message.

Pink lips turned down in a frown when he read the reminder from Vincent that told him to be more careful and to take care of himself better. A shudder passed down Cloud's spine as his vision blurred over with a superimposed Sephiroth. The tingle's spread and formed a knot in the pit of Cloud's stomach. He lay back down for a moment suddenly feeling lightheaded again. Every inch of his body was on fire, ablaze with such feeling that his right hand twitched automatically and sharply.

(EXPLICIT SEXUAL CONTENT AHEAD)

The mental Sephiroth got closer and blue eyes fluttered shut to seal the image in. This Sephiroth wasn't getting away. Sephiroth watched him with those piercing eyes taking in the slim and lightly toned body clad only in boxer shorts. Clouds breath hitched and mindlessly his hand began the descent down his body traversing the same path Sephiroth's vision took.

Over his collar bone the mercurial eyes skipped, fingers dipping and skimming in time lightly into every dip and rise with them. His chest was next and when the pads of his fingers gently circled a dusky nipple the flesh peaked and drew into an erect nub. A sharp pant flew from Cloud's lips and as the fingers gripped the hard peak and firmly tweaked it a breathy moan drew itself out as his back arched for a moment.

Thanking Vincent for removing his pants so he could sleep Cloud drew his hand in soft tickly movements down his abdomen ghosting over the line of his boxers to rub over his clothed member. A soft tickling rub made Cloud's hips buck. He'd never done this, never felt this way before and with Sephiroth watching him. Panting lips drew into a seductive smirk as his hands gripped the edges of his boxers and drew them down slowly every movement rubbing against his stiff manhood in an excruciatingly teasing press.

Flinging the offending scrap of fabric somewhere out of sight out of mind Cloud laid his hand on his erection. He'd never done this before; never felt the need to do so. It was strange and new and slightly awkward but the mental image of Sephiroth watching him was so pervasive and arousing he couldn't stop. He wanted to stop. He wanted to keep going. He wanted to explode. It was all so much, too much.

One hand rubbed the tender slit a hiss escaping his lips at the searing pleasure. The sensation was indescribable and the mental Sephiroth gave that sardonic smirk and sadistic laugh he'd heard so many times before. The summoned countenance drove him mad, body bucking and writhing as he was forced to continue. Sephiroth wordlessly egged him on, pressed for more, wanting Cloud to give him all that he was, all that he cherished most. His right hand gripped the heart shaped head firmly, pinching and squeezing in a way that both hurt and felt so good he could only whine incoherently.

The other hand, his lonely left hand, moved down to play with his balls rolling them gently. The feeling was new and the heat in the room was quickly rocketing to a temperature that was just adding to the roiling knot in the pit of his stomach. The tender flesh was insanely sensitive in a way that he'd never thought of before. His fingers drew back tracing and tickling the flesh. The delicate feather light movements were tantalising, adding to the overall experience.

A twist of the heart shaped head of his stiffened penis and his hand dipped back down to move rapidly on the burning unbelievably hard flesh. The underside of his erection was far more tender than he'd thought it would be. A finger traced the large vein on the hard underside that he couldn't see.

Gasps and pants filled the room, and Cloud was again thankful that once you became a proper SOLDIER you got a room all to yourself. If he'd had a roommate to listen to his gasped 'Sephiroth's' he'd have never been able to look the other man in the eyes again. He was so hot, on fire with arousal. The roiling weighted ball in his stomach drew taught and then the thread inside of him snapped spilling over and coming hard into his hand.

The hot seed was sticky and uncomfortable the moment he came down from the post orgasm haze. Cloud's lips drew down in a disgusted grimace. He couldn't believe that he'd just done that. He'd gotten hard, gotten off even, to the mental image of the one person who had caused him more grief and trouble than any other person he'd ever known. It felt so wrong, and yet somewhere deep inside that verbally he couldn't acknowledge it felt so right. The laugh that only a short time ago had been so arousing in his head was suddenly echoing around in a way that made him feel dirty and stupid.

(It's safe now)

Getting out of bed Cloud grimaced at the dirty feeling of his skin. Normally he would shower both at night before going to bed and in the morning when he woke up. So much time spent travelling in places without showers had taught him to take advantage of and be appreciative towards such convenience when he had the chance. Not to mention spending all his time either training or engaging in espionage meant that the blond was always covered in some time of dirt be it sweat or dust (Shinra could be surprisingly dusty when you frequented some of the area's that he did).

A quick glance at the clock hanging on the wall told Cloud that he'd managed to catch a bit of a sleep in. Normally he'd be up long before the sun was at around four in the morning. He wasn't big on sleep most of the time. Often a night of espionage would leave him falling into bed around two in the morning with only a handful of hours to sleep before he had to be up again. As it was he'd had nearly five hours sleep extra. It was already nine in the morning. Panic attacks and break downs on the scale that he'd had the previous day kind of did that though. There was something about emotional exhaustion that was more tiring than physical exhaustion.

Grabbing his towel on the way into the bathroom Cloud entered the room, turned on the water and stepped under the flow without even waiting for the water to warm first. That initial shock of cool water was a wakeup call he needed in the morning, especially on days like this. The water gradually warmed and vigilantly Cloud scrubbed himself clean making sure to get every inch of his skin scrubbed until he was pink. It might have been a bit excessive and obsessive of him but it was a compulsion that he wasn't able to fight. Once he started getting clean he had to clean himself properly.

Washing his blond locks free of shampoo Cloud glanced at the bottle reading all the words on the cleaner even though he'd done so many times before. Not that doing that was a compulsion of his, that would be weird, it was more something he did just because he was in the shower and what else was there to do in there. The description was the same as always; Shinra Shampoo – scented with thirteen different kinds of perfumes including rose and vanilla! It wasn't cheap but then since when was anything Shinra provided without some cost.

And it was a complete and total coincidence that Sephiroth happened to use exactly the same shampoo and conditioner. Although he'd heard something interesting somewhere, gods knew where, but somehow he'd come to find out that Sephiroth used an entire bottle of shampoo and conditioner every time he washed the silken tresses. A blush covered Cloud's cheeks as he thought about Sephiroth using the shampoo and conditioner rubbing it into his long hair carefully washing it out and starting again. The scent surrounding him being the same as that the silver haired man would be smelling were he to be washing his hair too certainly didn't help.

With an annoyed huff Cloud turned the water off and began briskly towelling himself off before getting into his uniform. He couldn't stop thinking about thinking about Sephiroth. It was a stupid vicious loop that was driving him nuts. Then it hit him. He was – gay. He was not only gay but he was attracted to Sephiroth of all people. Up until that point he'd been conveniently blocking any sort of need to categorize himself and his feeling out. In fact he'd been doing so for exactly this reason. He was slightly horrified to know how he was feeling. He was no different from the public masses and the fellow SOLDIER's that lusted after their silver haired icon.

Feeling like a juvenile idiot Cloud gathered his supplies and made his way to Shinra. He had enough time to do a quick bit of training before he had to meet with Genesis. At least he'd be warmed up and ready to go when the time came. It didn't seem to him that Genesis would be the type to allow extra time to do so if you weren't ready when he got there. He could just imagine the arched brow and dry disapproval he'd get if he asked for the time. Better to be ready. By the time he'd wandered the streets and talked to a couple of people, and fans of certain SOLDIER's to get as much information as he could it was already heading for eleven.

By the time Cloud made it into the headquarters it was just after eleven and he found himself eavesdropping as a couple men in the lobby discussed Sephiroth's destruction of a virtual reality training room. Blue eyes widened in surprise, he just knew that he was the cause and that worried him. Hojo might be interested in someone that could get Sephiroth to react in such a way. He could only hope that he hadn't tipped the slimy scientist off towards his possible use.

With a shudder of disgust the blond dismissed any thought of the head of the science department and made his way off to warm up in the gym. It was there that Genesis found the SOLDIER at noon, he'd lost track of time working his way through kata's that he'd picked up from various sources. Some he'd learnt from Tifa, others from Zack, others still he'd created himself. He could and did get lost for hours working on them, perfecting them.

"Strife, good to see you have more common sense than your friend Zack did. Good to see you can take the initiative," Genesis said his face getting about as positive as it could when dealing with someone he wasn't particularly inclined towards friendship with. Precious few had that honour.

Cloud nodded in reply and crossed the room to grab a drink and retrieve his sword whilst Genesis got ready too. When both men were geared up and prepared the room was cleared and anyone who wanted to watch was sent to the sides of the room. A brief moment of tension as the two SOLDIER's stared each other down.

"Infinite in mystery is the gift of the Goddess. We seek it thus, and take to the sky. Ripples form on the water's surface. The wandering soul knows no rest." Genesis said quoting the first act from his favourite poem; Loveless.

"Loveless," Cloud said recognising the piece.

"You recognise it," Genesis replied with an arched brow before bringing his sword up and then rushing the blond.

Cloud was forced to leap back and put his large sword up to block the blow. The momentum of the redhead's run added force to the attack but with a bent knee and some good solid stances Cloud was able to block the sword and foist it back before bring his own sword around in an offensive manoeuvre. The metal flashed in the sunlight as it moved, they were proper SOLDIER's and these were no practise weapons. Their audience watched with rapt attention; getting to watch Sephiroth, Angeal or Genesis spar was truly an experience for their subordinates, many of whom were members of the Keepers of Honour, Red Leather and Silver Elite. There was one audience member they were unaware of however; Sephiroth himself was sitting in the observation room above the gym. There was no way he was going to miss this.

Trying not to let the first class get the upper hand Cloud took his turn to force Genesis onto the defence. He rushed the red head and began attacking with a flurry of angled strikes designed to be offensively defensive. For a few moments Genesis fought the blond off before trying to get around him and take advantage of what he viewed to be a hole in the younger SOLDIER's style of attack. His lighter weapon should have made him fast enough to catch the opening before Cloud could retaliate and then he would win. As boring and simple as that.

Genesis was pleasantly surprised then when he suddenly found himself sword to sword with the blond who a moment later was suddenly on the other side of the room. Cloud could be surprisingly fast when he wanted to, even with the heavy weapon he favoured. It made the red haired man wonder what the SOLDIER's speed would be like if he were either unarmed or working with a lighter sword like his own. Curious.

Cloud paused for a moment to see what Genesis would do gauging the man's technique from a safe distance. A quick assessment of the red heads reach, speed, style and intentions showed Cloud that this time he was going to have to be the one to attack. Cloud wasn't the only one who was thinking about his opponent. Deciding that it was time to take away Genesis' time to think about his technique he feinted towards his front before twisting past and pretending again that he was going to steal Genesis' technique. When the other SOLDIER turned around and brought his sword up high to defend himself against the perceived attack to his back Cloud slid instead along the ground on the other side.

Genesis jumped to avoid the attack, his lips drawn down in a frown that spoke of the level of the fight. When Genesis didn't win straight away he became more and more serious and unpredictable until the fight was either over or won. For this reason not many people other than Sephiroth and Angeal sparred with the copper tressed SOLDIER.

When Genesis touched back down Cloud was immediately back after him again, clearly the technique that was going to work for him was to allow the man as little time to formulate a plan as possible. For a few more minutes they went back and forth attacking and deflecting, gauging as much of each other's skills as they could. And then Genesis got the upper hand and kept it. Giving up on the honour and fair play thing Genesis followed the swing of his sword with a swift kick under the sword that had jumped up to deflect the incoming attack. Not wishing to chop of Genesis' leg with so heavy a weapon, even one that was as expertly controlled as his he leapt back and allowed Genesis to bring his sword into kill position.

"Yield?" Genesis asked holding his sword up straight at the blond.

If he'd wanted to be stubborn and prove a point Cloud could have said no and continued fighting. If he'd wanted to make a true spectacle of himself he might even have won the battle with a bit of work. But Cloud didn't want to draw too much attention and make too big a spectacle of himself.

"Yield," Cloud agreed dropping his sword arm to hold his weapon sword point down.

"Hmmm," Genesis huffed looking at the time and deciding it was time to go. He'd spent a bit longer than he'd meant to anyway. He figured that things would be over rather quickly but he'd found surprisingly, especially from someone newly enhanced who the previous night was ready to keel over into their dinner it was an interesting and enjoyable spar.

Cloud mentally applauded himself for giving the appropriate amount of opposition to work with Genesis. The capricious read head was notoriously unpredictable and had he had the time to dwell on it he might have driven himself nuts dreading it. In the viewing room up above Sephiroth stared intensely at the blond packing up his belongings. He wanted to know him. The blond would be his and nothing would stop that from happening. He didn't truly know what he wanted but that was irrelevant. He would get what he wanted. Nothing would stop him. Sephiroth watched closely as Cloud left the room for the day. Nothing.

* * *

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it. Again sorry about the wait, I'll try to be better and get less overwhelmed. Until next time, tell me what you think!


	17. Can't Fight This Feeling

Hey guys, sorry I really am. I'm not going to bother with excuses except to say I just haven't been able to get this done. Please forgive me. I re-read all of your old reviews last night and it gave the inspiration to move on so thanks to everyone who's reviewed so far and will be reviewing soon. So here we go.

_**Word Count;** 7000 (sorry I meant it to be longer but then at the last minute doubted an entire section and clicked delete)._

_**Warnings**; Explicit sexual content. Not work safe. Just so you know, Cloud is old enough so it's fine._

_________________________________**Disclaimer**; If I owned final fantasy VII we'd probably still be waiting for it to come out...much like final fantasy versus XIII_

_This chapters title is REO Speed wagon - Can't fight this feeling. Yes that was a blake._

* * *

Rewind

Chapter 16

Can't Fight This Feeling

**εуλ 2000**

Silver haired flowed over a lone shoulder in a messy ponytail as Sephiroth sat on his couch staring obsessively at the bright screen glowing in front of him. The lap top perched on his lap had been there for some time, the hours long since flowing by as he scrutinised the open page with rapt attention. It wasn't the first time he'd looked at this particular page, nor undoubtedly would it be the last. The first time he'd looked at Cloud Strife's personnel file he'd been trying to figure out exactly what he was feeling beyond a measure of crazed obsession but had been unable to figure it out beyond a deep seated sense of intrigue and something that spoke of lust.

Every subsequent visit had revealed nothing new other than a burning desire of both the physical and mental state. First he'd read the text; simple, uniform, times new roman, size twelve, double spaced and full of dry facts like the blond haired boy's home town. Next he'd look at the accompanying pictures and find himself drowning in the depths of those crystalline eyes much like the water they resembled. Drawing him down deeper and deeper until even his own breathing was a distant afterthought that couldn't be heard.

And when those blue eyes released him he was drawn down the perfect line of his face to the lush pink pout of his lips. Those lips that just begged to be tortured and abused with kisses until they were red and swollen from it. That he could almost feel ghosting over his heated skin until he thought he might go mad. Sephiroth's own lids lowered, his head falling back until it hit the top of his plush couch, pony tail splaying everywhere as his lips opened to the ghost of another. He could almost imagine what those lips would feel like pressed against his own from the fleeting almost kiss they'd had in the street a few weeks previous. The moment had been perfect, he'd been drawn in as much then as he was every time that the looked at the file he had open.

Not that Sephiroth had had much time to be looking at Cloud either in person, spying on his training sessions, or in digital format in the form of private, but not to general of SOLDIER of course, personnel files. As of late Sephiroth had been rather busy. In the last few months he'd made more than a few extended trips to Wutai. Shinra wanted him to be the poster boy of the whole ordeal, as if by splashing his face about in the news and propaganda they were saying 'look we've got everything in hand'.

Of course nothing could be farther from the truth in Wutai. Whilst the SOLDIER's were enhanced almost beyond belief the people of Wutai had the home advantage knowing the lay of the land and being able to use guerrilla warfare. For every group they took down another popped up seemingly out of nowhere to take its place. They were geographically advancing forward but not really making an impact. It seemed every time he left the area Sephiroth worked to stake a claim on became lost to the enemy again. What was really needed was someone there permanently with a mind for tactics. Luckily for the silver haired man Hojo was loath to let his pet experiment go for any overwhelmingly long stretch of time.

The trips back and forth from Wutai might allow for little personal time but one thing was for certain he managed to squeeze in plenty of time pondering the relationship and the feelings he had in connection with Cloud Strife. Even the name was something in and of itself. Cloud. Strife. That name was almost like a joke, if he hadn't read it in the file so many times and known of the extensive background searches the Turks did before allowing anyone into Shinra he'd have believed it to be some kind of ill thought out alias.

And yet as Sephiroth stared at the picture, roving the image up and down, he found that the name suited the blond. It fit in a way that was inexplicable and undeniable. With a sigh Sephiroth pushed the glowing screen of the laptop shut and made his way across the living room and into the kitchen. As he was well aware the high metabolism of a SOLDIER meant that when they were able they had to eat as much as they were able as regularly as they were able. More than once the sight of the amount of food it took to sustain a single SOLDIER for a day had caused an astounded reaction with an unaware person. Sephiroth's lips lifted in a smirk as he laid out his dinner in the oven and set it to cook. He never knew when he might be called to a mission where the food intake would be reduced so it was best to eat as properly as he could when he was able.

Even as he stood in the kitchen cooking the blond was on his mind. Why couldn't he get him out? What was it about the SOLDIER that made him so damn tantalising. It was almost as if his mere presence might fill a hole that up until now he hadn't been aware of but now he knew it was there he couldn't turn his mind from the knowledge.

~ 0 ~

Vincent Valentine stood with Tseng on the ship regarding the Wutai coast with quiet contemplation. It had been some time since he'd seen the wild continent, and certainly he'd not seen it when locked in the midst of a war. Not that a war being in the way was any sort of problem for a Turk, it just meant that they'd had to take a boat into Wutai rather than be dropped off in a helicopter. It seemed as though he'd been on the move constantly for the last few years. This was no exception. Such was the life a Turk, especially one that was as useful as him. He'd been quiet, a good aim and one of the best Turk's they'd had in Shinra up until he was trapped and experimented on by Hojo. The enhancements only made the organisation prize his skills even more.

The ship made dock and three Turks, Tseng, Vincent and Legendary, got off the vessel. They had a mission to perform, one that couldn't be achieved by wasting time milling about on the beach. Red eyes turned to regard the ginger haired Turk known only as Legendary. Vincent knew the Turk's past history as a weapons dealer, and that this mission going after the weapons dealer and keeping the company's secrets was a test for both Tseng and Legendary. It was for that reason he'd been included on the mission; he was to make sure that things went to plan. The secrets of Shinra could not be released to anyone and he was to make sure that all would be taken care of. Tseng was in charge of the mission, but all three of the men knew that Vincent was the one who was really in charge there. The oldest, the most experience and over all the most dominant presence.

Tseng moved across the ground with silken grace but it was obvious that being here was a challenge for the man. He would persevere; he had to because that was what being a Turk was all about. It didn't matter if you were facing the mouth of hell itself the mission must be completed. It was one of the reasons that Turk's never retired, failure was not an option; even if the mission were one akin to suicide the Turk's were required to follow through. The manner of their lives had created the infamy and the high skill level in those that made it through the rigorous training process and into the Turk's fully fledged.

Tseng pointed to the facility ahead of them silently, his hand gestures only compounding the plan that they'd been through when aboard the ship. There was no need for words among properly trained Turks, the real operatives were able to make and follow instructions with a point of a hand and the incline of a head. Vincent as was in character for him had stayed silent. He was an observing force on this mission. He was there to watch and make sure that things went to plan and to make sure that Tseng was prepared for his mission leader position. He was also there to keep Legendary loyal to the company.

Tseng, Legendary and Vincent split ways as they moved around the secret Shinra military base planting the explosives that were going to blow the place into smithereens. Each Turk specialised in something, which was often how the operatives were codenamed when on the field. Among their team however there was always at least one person to specialise in explosives and the current branch of the Turks was no exception. These explosives had been made especially for the job. Unlike SOLDIER who could afford to do things as they liked and cross their fingers on the effects Turks needed to be completely certain about the effects of a weapon they were using. Differing from the case of an EMR or gun a bomb couldn't be tested for functionality before being taken on a mission so the Turks preferred to make them themselves.

Planting the explosives neatly around the premises the Turk's made their way into the building still planting devices as they went. There would be no chances with this mission, when they left this whole place would be razed to the ground. Their orders were to take out the place, keep the secrets of Shinra safe, and take out anyone who knew anything and to rescue the Shinra arms trader. Although there were plenty of people in the base there were none who were a particularly big threat. For the most part Vincent shot his opponents before they had even noticed he was there. Of course he was using a standard grade pistol with a silencer rather than use Cerberus. His usual weapon was much too loud and showy for this kind of a mission. This was a stealth mission, not an intimidation mission which was something that Cerberus was much better used for.

It was a fleeting thought in the dark haired Turk's mind that perhaps he should feel at least a little bad about the way he was outright killing his victims in the manner he was, but the truth was that he didn't. The people in his way were enemies, not of Shinra or at least not only of Shinra, but of him too. They would take him down without a second thought and he had no hesitation to do the same taking them out with cold and calculated efficiency.

When all the explosives were planted Vincent made his way to the room where the intel they'd gathered suggested that they'd find the missing arms dealer. Vincent wasn't shocked in the least to find Legendary already there and having an argument with the man they were supposed to be rescuing. He'd known from the moment he'd reviewed the mission sheet that this mission was going to be a difficult one. One of the occupants in the room had already met his death at the hands of the Legendary Turk. Vincent recognised him as a former comrade of the ginger haired man from his anti-Shinra activist days. A shrewd eye swept over the man they were supposed to rescue and within seconds Vincent had come up with a plan of action.

Swiftly making his way over to where Legendary was about to take their objective out Vincent stopped him, "This isn't the time," Vincent said with a shake of his head.

"This bastard sold us out, he should be put down like the rat he is," Legendary replied in an angered snarl.

"He will. But not right now. When we return to Shinra," Vincent replied

Vincent pushed in front of Legendary and cuffed the man on the ground with ease, his superior strength taking the weapons dealer by surprise. Although his body didn't look it the tinkering that Vincent had done to him by Hojo had certainly made a difference to all his senses and abilities including his strength. Gathering the man up and dragging him ahead of the pair of Turk's they made their way out of the building, the two Turks easily dispatching any further figures that made their way at them even with Vincent needing a hand to guide their prisoner.

When they greeted Tseng outside in the forest with the prisoner the dark haired man pressed a button and detonated the bombs inside the building. They were far enough away to be out of the range of harm, but close enough the shock wave of the explosion blew past signalling the effectiveness. When all was quiet for a moment Tseng went back to the Shinra base to double check that it had truly been destroyed.

Pulling out his phone and dialling Tseng waited a moment before speaking into the phone, "Mission success. Yes sir."

A second later, the Turks weren't exactly conversationalists when on neither missions nor any other time for some of them, the phone call was terminated and they made their way back to the boat waiting to take them back to Shinra.

~ 0 ~

Reno was standing next to Cloud in hallway of the Shinra building when Vincent got back to the headquarters. They were bringing the prisoner down to the cells for interrogation. Legendary wasn't happy that the mat he termed only 'the rat' had made it this far since he would have left him to die back in Wutai. The red headed man was making some kind of lecherous comment to the blond haired SOLDIER that was making him blush when he looked up and caught sight of Vincent and Tseng.

"Hey look spikey, it's Vincent and Tseng. They work with me you know," Reno said with a smirk eying the pair up and down lecherously for a moment, obviously still caught up in the part he'd been playing moments before.

"Reno," Tseng warned with an arched brow.

"Boss," Reno replied easily his lips quirked up with amusement.

"Um, hi," Cloud greeted feeling a bit awkward about being introduced to people he should know really well, "I'm Cloud."

"Cloud," Tseng inclined his head in reply ignoring the silence of the man helping him haul the prisoner away, after all Vincent wasn't known for his stunning conversational skills.

"Lookin' a little busy there boss," Reno said with a nod at the arms trader.

"Yes we are, now if you'll excuse us," Tseng said with a nod.

Cloud moved aside but clearly oblivious or being a pain in the ass Reno continued to stand where he was slouching, his thin tall frame in the way.

"Reno, move," Tseng sighed feeling annoyed and far too tired to be dealing with a crazy red head's antics.

"Right, sorry man," Reno said with a shrug and exaggeratedly stepped aside to join Cloud.

"Cloud," Vincent said in farewell as the hauled the prisoner away leaving behind a shocked Reno.

"He totally just said goodbye to you," Reno said surprised that the blond had drawn speech out of the notoriously difficult to communicate with man. His sea foam eyes followed the Turks out of the direct line of sight thoughtfully.

Vincent and Tseng knew exactly how this was going to go down. They'd known that there would be no way that Legendary was going to let the fact that their prisoner was the one who had snitched on him go. Either they did something as a group that was subtle, or the ginger haired Turk would have taken care of it himself. More than anything Turks stuck together. They might have been dirty fighters prepared to live on the edges of morality but they were a family. There was no way to leave the Turks; once a Turk always a Turk.

The prisoner was wandering around the room they'd placed him in. He looked bored and more than a little bit afraid. Good. The slot in the door opened and the tray of food that had been prepared for him in the cafeteria was pushed into the cell. Vincent and Tseng watched through the one way glass on the back of the cell. Every cell had them so that the prisoner could be closely observed without having to be in the room with them, and yet still be close enough to take swift action if it was needed.

The man in the cell took the tray and for a moment looked as though he might just throw it away but the fact that the Turks had starved him for the entirety of the trip back from Wutai worked just as they'd planned it would. The rat tucked into the food with ravenous abandon whilst his watchers looked on. Little did he know what the Turks had done to his food. By the time the effects set in and took their toll the deed would be nigh unprovable.

A grim frown settled over Vincent's lips as he watched the man eating. If only he knew he was being poisoned like the rat he was. Shaking his head he left the observation room, Tseng following after him. Over the next few days every meal the prisoner was given was tainted with doses of bromadiolone and strychnine. Or as it was more commonly known – rat poison. It was fitting that the snitch that had ratted Legendary out was dying slowly from rat poisoning. Not that Legendary was aware of the situation, he was only informed that he and the prisoner were not to meet with each other; plausible deniability. After all why would the other Turks kill someone they didn't know?

For this situation bromadiolone and strychnine were perfect. Rat poison reduces the levels of Vitamin K in the body, which affects the clotting factors. This leads to abnormal bleeding, such as bleeding from the gums or nose. The prisoner had seemingly noticed this very quickly but hadn't seemed to be able to figure out what was happening or what was causing it. So much the better. A few days later and the man seemed to have his suspicions about the food and they were forced to move it into his drink, a disgusting flavoured glop at any rate that wouldn't carry the taste of the additive. There was no way the man could starve himself of food and drink, and if he did what did it matter since it would have the same effect at any rate.

After a while the man seemed to become so dizzy he couldn't stand and no longer paced his cell at all hours of the day. As a result he drank more of the poisoned drink they were bringing him. He had no choice really. The rat started sleeping more and more and yet looking all the more tired for it. He began to rub at a cramping stomach and vomit a bile and blood mix, and yet still the Turks felt no pity for the man. One did not betray their team lightly. For a group with no morals loyalty was an important factor in their lives.

The constant rubbing at the man's head when he was awake seemed to attest to a killer headache. His hair was starting to fall out in haphazard clumps; he looked for all the world like a haggard and defenceless little rat. Still there was no sympathy. Not long after that the man finally dropped dead. By the time the autopsy was done the poison had all but faded out, and when the report was filed with Shinra the mortician already in the hands of the Turks stated the man had died of a haemorrhage and heart complications. Nothing could have been done to save the man.

Vengeance was served and when Legendary was asked he was able to honestly say that he had nothing to do with the death although he would lose no sleep over the death. Everyone in the department knew that one of them had been the cause of the death but none of them wanted to say anything, all of them knew what the dead man had done and silently they gave their support of the murder. There were no clean deaths for a rat.

~ 0 ~

Cloud found himself suddenly staring at a creamy pale chest with the sudden urge to run his fingers all over it. Blue eyes widened with confusion as he tilted his head up a little bit to look at Sephiroth. The man was staring at him with shining eyes and a smile on his lips. A shiver ran down Cloud's spine, a smile from the silver general was never a good thing. The mako in Cloud's system flared up as the adrenaline pushed his system to run faster, his fight or flight complex threatening to take over entirely.

"Good to see you, Cloud," Sephiroth greeted enjoying the scant distance between them immensely.

That deep slightly husky voice drew a thread of tension through the blond that felt deliciously volatile. Cloud wanted to kick himself unable to believe the feelings running through him; this was the man that had caused so many problems for him. This was the man that murdered his mother, his village. This was the man that had tried time and time again to make the planet his vessel to ride through the cosmos, the people its fuel. This was the man he wanted sink his fingers into and shred like ribbons. This was the man he wanted desperately to throw and fuck brutally where they stood. He wanted him. He wanted him so bad it hurt.

"Sephiroth," Cloud replied drowning in silver green cats eyes.

"How have you been?" Sephiroth asked politely the pair of SOLDIER's slowly drowning in each other's eyes.

"Good, working hard to become a first class SOLDIER, and you," Cloud said awkwardly trying to hold some measure of a normal conversation.

"Busy; I've been in Wutai mostly, have you been yet?" Sephiroth asked even though he knew from Cloud's personnel file what the answer would be already.

"Not yet," Cloud replied shaking his head and yet still managing to keep his eyes firmly locked with Sephiroth's own "but I've been training here a lot". It was like staring down a wild animal, you knew that the moment you removed your eyes from them they were going to go straight for the jugular.

"Well then, perhaps we should put that training to the test," Sephiroth said his voice challengingly husky.

"When," Cloud asked mako eyes wide.

"What better time than the present," Sephiroth answered with a smile, "Unless you're…busy."

There was no way that Cloud could turn that invitation down and Sephiroth knew it from the looks of the smirk on his face, "Fine."

Together they made their way into the nearest VR training room their weapon's in hand. They could have gone to the gym but there would have been a thousand gawking watchers hanging around and getting under foot if they had gone there, much as there had been when he'd faced Genesis. Instead the pair entered the virtual reality training room and turned on the simulation. Sephiroth picked out the scene while Cloud readied the standard issue buster blade and prepared for battle; it was more preparation than he normally got when he fought with Sephiroth.

The scene around them changed quickly, no longer the metallic grey of the simulation room but rather the washed out white and black contrast of the Nibel Mountains. Even though Cloud knew it wasn't real he closed his eyes for a moment and revelled in the feel. The mind convinced the brain that the scenery was real and at the moment he could almost feel the familiar biting chill of the cold mountains and the cutting white smell of the freshly fallen snow. Snow fell almost year round in the northern town and the smell was so familiar that with the image in his mind he could feel it and smell it as if he was really there; really home.

"Why Nibelhiem?" Cloud asked turning to face Sephiroth with wide eyes.

A generated wind swept Sephiroth's hair away from his body in a flowing silver stream that was highly distracting. His lips quirked in a smile as he looked the blond SOLDIER up and down in his native environment. Even in a generated image Cloud was radiant against the stark background of the mountain. It made the silver haired man want to strip him down and lay him flat on the snow that wasn't really there. Cloud Strife was insatiably beautiful.

"It's your home town is it not?" Sephiroth replied archly.

"How did you know?" Cloud asked with wide eyes taking a step towards the silver haired man, sword hanging limply in hand.

"Your personnel file, it was me who handled your graduation from cadet to SOLDIER," Sephiroth replied unwilling to state that he'd been looking at it constantly since then.

It was true that Lazard was in charge of the SOLDIER division he handled the majority of the work, but the truth was that Lazard wouldn't dare mess with the ranking of his SOLDIER's without asking Sephiroth first. Sephiroth was the one who had the final decision on who could and could not move forward. He was the one that would have to work with these people, to trust them to watch his back after all. It was only fitting that the silver haired man was the one to give the final okay. So yes it was true that Sephiroth had handled Cloud's acceptance into SOLDIER, had given his sign off and signature, but he did that with so many pieces of paperwork that to assume in any other circumstance he would automatically remember would be a mistake. Cloud was a special case.

"I…see," Cloud replied hesitatingly though he wasn't sure he really did see at all.

"So Cloud, are you ready?" Sephiroth asked raising Masamune in a glittering metal line.

Rather than reply Cloud raced forward taking the offence. He'd fought Sephiroth so many times his body knew what moves the silver haired man was going to make before he made them. His only problem was that his own body wasn't quite the right size for the reactions he was having to the battle.

Drawing his sword, the legendary seven foot Masamune, back Sephiroth launched an attack that staggered Cloud, throwing the blonde several feet in the air and back across the snow. It was sheer luck that Cloud managed to get his feet to stick in the slippery snow. They may not have really been in the Nibel mountains but the simulated environment acted as real as it could get.

Blow after blow fell in a flurry of attacks, until Cloud and Sephiroth were facing off against each other with a grim determination that put smiles on their mouths. Cloud still couldn't help but feel a little off with his body's instinctive reactions and the size difference to what he should have been for the moves he was making but the longer they fought the less trouble Cloud had with that.

He was quickly acclimatizing and the battle was becoming something that was challenging and yet in a way fun; he couldn't remember the last time he'd honestly had a real opponent. He was far above his peers this lifetime and the need to hold back until he was somewhat safe meant Cloud had been too timid and careful. The blissful fCloudom and challenge of this fight was exhilarating.

For a moment Cloud found himself missing the First Tsurugi and its collapsible parts. If he'd had his custom weapon he'd had released the catch and used one of his smaller blades as well to catch the silver SOLDIER off guard. Luckily Cloud had made enough since he'd got to Shinra to allow himself to make the custom blade all over again. It wouldn't be the same but it would be close enough. Cloud missed his sword. He couldn't wait to feel the blade's familiar weight in his hands again.

Sephiroth leapt at Cloud agilely landing with light footed grace as he swung his oversize katana at the small blond. Dodging right and past Cloud knocked the sword aside and into a lock. Masamune, the stronger weapon, made a dent in the mostly smooth line of Cloud's standard issue sword. It was hardly a surprise, Shinra were known to be misers with their money so why bother issuing adequate equipment to a weapon they could easily make more of.

Sephiroth broke away from the lock the two were in with ease, flinging himself back and then forwards again to attack with a flurry of moves. Cloud, expecting the disengage and rapid reengage, fought back as fast and as hard as he could. He took a few hits, light cuts blooming here and there to bleed sluggishly but they were quickly brushed aside. His accelerated healing would take care of that for him there was no need to be concerned.

Cloud returned the favour and rushed the silver haired SOLDIER and began attacking with a flurry of angled strikes designed to be offensively defensive. The wet crunch of snow beneath Cloud's feet filled his ears as convincingly as if they'd really been in Nibelhiem. His mind was ringing, reeling as images of past, present and future overlapped itself again and again. For great chunks of time Cloud wasn't sure whether he was really seeing what was there or whether he was seeing what he expected to see.

The pair of SOLDIER's moved swiftly and almost noiselessly across the ground, the only sounds in their fight the atmospheric ones included by the program running around them, the clang of metal meeting metal and huffs of air. The adrenaline level in both warriors was so high their eyes blazed as they fought for what felt and seemed like an eternity. The battle might have gone on infinitely if there hadn't been the sudden sound of rending metal as Masamune tore through the weaker metal of Cloud's sword stopping skilfully against the soft flesh of his throat.

Cloud stared down the length of the sword pressed against his throat his eyes meeting Sephiroth's and locking on, "I'd have won you know."

Sephiroth lowered Masamune allowing the tip to trace down Cloud's chest gently, "Is that so?"

"Yes," Cloud confirmed stepping forward and closing the space between as the images of future Sephiroth and present Sephiroth superimposed each other.

Sephiroth lowered his sword completely; putting it into the sheath he had hanging from his body. When his beloved weapon was relinquished Sephiroth stepped even closer to Cloud until there was almost no space between the pair at all. He tilted his head down and allowed some of the silken silver tresses to cascade down his body to tickle the silent blond. The moment hung in the air with the intensity of a passionate movie scene.

A few seconds later found the two with lips together, melded, and kissing with passionate lust. Sephiroth's lips were soft and perfect; exactly the way that Cloud had imagined them to be. Even the intensity, the sharp stinging whirlwind of desire that took a hold of them and held them aloft in its covetous grip was as good as – no better than he'd imagined it to be.

Sephiroth's fingers curled in the spiked blond locks of Cloud's hair holding them together as somewhere in his mind he thought about his surprise that they were soft and entirely without product. The other hand settled on the blond against his lower back pulling them so close there was hardly a division between them at all. He wanted to be closer, to push and pull until they melded together as one person; to consume.

Sephiroth's harness, the leather that criss-crossed over his bare chest, was gripped tightly in Cloud's fisted hands. He revelled in the feel of the kiss of the sudden and intense connection and closeness he felt with the silver haired general. His body was a wanton vessel of lust and desire; there was nothing he wanted more than for this kiss to go on eternally, to throw the man down right there and have his way with him.

A moan slipped between parted lips as a passionate tongue quested into Cloud's mouth. The slick appendage probed and explored every last inch of his mouth before entangling and massaging with Cloud's own. A hand made its way under the light blue ribbed shirt of a SOLDIER third class. The long and delicate fingers swept across the skin of Cloud's back rubbing the softness with a delicate slow gentleness that contrasted with the passion of the kiss to send a pool of feeling into the pit of Cloud's stomach.

Slipping from the leather harness Cloud's fingers spread out across the expanse of the smooth chest he'd earlier been staring at. The skin was soft and supple drawn taught over flawless muscles. Sephiroth's whole body was perfect, complimented amazingly by the sensual leather encasing his toned body. Silver encased Cloud's body gently as the famous silver strands pooled and rubbed over Cloud teasingly.

More suddenly than the kiss had begun it was over, and yet neither party made any move to remove the closeness in between them. Cloud's mind was in turmoil over the fact that he was allowing himself to do anything, feel anything for someone who should be his sworn enemy. Someone who used to be his sworn enemy. Cloud just couldn't summon the mental faculties to actually care, maybe later but right then all he could do was revel in the glorious aftermath.

Hesitantly Cloud reached his hand up to touch the silk spun tresses of the man he was leaning against so closely it could only be termed laying on vertically. The hair was softer under his hands than anything that Cloud could have imagined. Thin and almost liquid under Cloud's fingers he found that it explained why for all that Sephiroth fought and lived with his hair down it never seemed tangled. Of course it was probably just too terrified of the general to defy him in any way.

Sephiroth seemed to enjoy his hair being touched as his lips parted and a hushed gasping noise came out when Cloud gave the shining lengths a slight tug. The slit pupils of Sephiroth's eyes seized and contracted with arousal as he stated down into Cloud's blue eyes from only inches away. Gloved fingers came up to trace the line of Cloud's lips gently before Cloud sucked a finger into the warmth of his mouth gently. His eyes shone green with intense arousal.

Sephiroth's evil patented smirk quirked his lips as he acknowledged how much they wanted each other, "Cloud."

"Hmm," Cloud hummed around the finger in his mouth nipping at it momentarily and feeling a warm glow radiating through his chest as the other SOLDIER's pupils had another seizure.

"Tell me what you cherish most," Sephiroth said his eyes fixated on the lips around his finger, "What do you want Cloud."

"You, god I want you," Cloud asserted his eyes closing for a moment before fluttering opening again.

Cloud couldn't believe how much that statement was true. He had no experience on the relationship front, no experience of any kind which was kind of pitiful but god did he want one now. His body sung with need and clamoured to be paid attention to rather than his brain for once. For one moment in Cloud Strife's life he wanted something for himself. He wanted to be happy, satisfied, satiated in a way he couldn't recall being.

"You can have me," Sephiroth said with a grin as he pulled back a bit, "if I can have you. I want you Cloud. I claim you. Be mine."

Cloud should have been afraid of the intensity in Sephiroth's voice but he couldn't. The dark possessiveness was something that spoke to him. He didn't want to be a puppet, but the idea of allowing Sephiroth to pull his strings for as long as it took to get what he wanted make his body shiver. He would submit, to being with, but he was a wolf and couldn't be caged for long. He'd give as good as he got.

Sephiroth drew Cloud swiftly out of the room abandoning the sword he'd broken without a second thought. Someone else could clean the mess they'd made. He barely had enough sense of mind to cancel the program that they'd been in before leading Cloud onto the elevator where he set to ravaging him until they made it to his apartment. Love bites were laid up and down Cloud's neck under the turtle neck sweater vest.

The elevator stopping couldn't come soon enough as the pair all but stumbled gracelessly out of the elevator and into the hallway. Without looking Sephiroth swiped his key card one handed into the door of his apartment and entered a 9 digit code that his hazy mind barely remembered. Together Cloud and Sephiroth made their way inside the house. Neither could remember the last time they'd been this passionate, this turned on. The door was kicked shut with a booted foot though neither one would be able to identify which one of them had done it.

Clothes were shed off Cloud on the walk to Sephiroth's bedroom until they parted at the bed. The silver haired man pushed Cloud onto the soft bed and ripped the socks and shoes from Cloud's feet leaving the blond shuddering with desire in only his boxers. Then Sephiroth drew back and shucked his heavy coat off and allowed it to fall with a weighty clunk leaving his torso bare. Cloud swallowed convulsively and reached his hands out to remove the leather harness and guard from the SOLDIER's body. The blond felt like he was on fire, burning with rampant desire. He couldn't believe how hot Sephiroth looked in those high leather boots and pants that blended so seamlessly it was almost impossible to tell where one item stopped and another began.

The last vestiges of their clothing were peeled away frantically leaving both bodies naked to the cool open air a shiver tracing sinfully down Cloud's spine as the taller frame of the man he'd wanted for two lifetimes drew itself of his body. Silver hair hung like a curtain of tangible moonlight around the two lovers as Sephiroth leant down for a kiss before drawing back. His breath tickled the side of Cloud's face for a moment.

"You're sure," Sephiroth asked not wanting to be a rapist but unsure he would be able to stop. He was being driven insane by a lustful desire that had been building for months.

"I'm sure," Cloud replied with a nod.

Sephiroth took him at his word. He leant down and took a nipple in between his lips sucking it to a hard peak, biting it and then soothing the hurt with careful laving laps. When one dusky nub was done he turned his attentions on the other. Cloud's fingers splayed out across the back of the man above him his blunt nails raking at the skin as he was kissed and nipped and toyed with. Gasps, pants and moans left his lips being drawn from his body easily.

Reaching a hand out Sephiroth wrapped his slim fingers around Cloud's erection. Cloud's cock stood tall and swollen and beads of precum piled on the tip as Sephiroth stroked him. Cloud squirmed with restless pleasure, begs and pants passing his lips as he pleading for more.

"Please, ahhhn. Seph- please, please. More," Cloud begging his hips jerking into the first touch he'd ever experience there.

"Please what Cloud?" Sephiroth asked in that dark husky tone that made him shudder and with restless need.

"Please sir," Cloud begged recognising the command from a higher officer.

"As you wish," Sephiroth chucked darkly.

Reaching into the side drawer Sephiroth retrieved the lube he kept next to his bed, a lovely gift from Genesis that up until recently he hadn't really appreciated. Of course at the time the red head had muttered something like, "So you can go fuck yourself." The accompanying dildo and lube had been less than welcome at the time but that was about one could expect from the volatile Genesis and his legendary temper.

Cloud reached for Sephiroth's hand only to pull away when Sephiroth took his cock in his mouth.

Pleasure flooded his system and he buried his fingers into Sephiroth's soft silver hair. He was definitely dreaming; there was no way he could get this lucky. Slick fingers played with his entrance and Cloud spread his legs. Cloud trembled when the finger inside him wiggled, pushing deeper into him.

"God you're tight," Sephiroth kissed Cloud's thigh as he caressed the blond haired boy's entrance with a second finger. When the tight muscled finally relaxed enough, Sephiroth slipped the finger into Cloud. The blond cried out and arched as the fingers pressed against his prostate, making him see stars, his whole vision whiting out for a moment although it was unclear whether that was the pleasure or the masses of moonlight hair tickling his face.

"This can't be happening, I can't be doing this." Cloud said frantically as the fingers thrust into him. He was on fire and no longer sure what was going on around him, the only thing he was sure of was the mounting pleasure inside of him. That and the certainty that he wanted more of this. That he would never be able to get enough of this.

"You can do this Cloud," Sephiroth soothed, kissing the tip of Cloud's cock before taking it in his mouth and sucking on it. Cloud slapped a hand to his mouth and shook his head. The fingers inside him were now gliding with ease, playing only with Cloud's prostate. They weren't ready for full sex yet.

Sephiroth sucked and toyed with the boy until he was gasping for air and clutching desperately at the sheets. "Come Cloud," Sephiroth said with a husky voice whilst his hand jacked himself off watching Cloud's reactions.

The blond haired boy came crying out in pleasure and floating for a few moments in a post sex haze. When he came down he realised that Sephiroth was still hard and after what the general had done for him without hesitation gripped the hard cock in his hand and toyed with it until the general came. Together they settled down to sleep.

When morning came the blond was long gone.


	18. Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

Sorry guys, This one was a bitch to write. I hate Angeal. In the meantime I've been working on rewriting the beginning of this story and fixing up the errors. I plan to put the fixed version of the story on Archive of Our Own under TrisanaSkystorm. Also sorry this one is so short, but there's a lot happening and what was written couldn't be expanded on. It was all that fit the chapter, anything else would feel wrong sorry. Thanks to all those who have alerted and favourited in the gap between chapters.

_**Word Count;** 5000 (sorry I meant it to be longer but there is a lot happening here and this had to be the cut off point for the sake of the flow)._

_**Warnings**; Pretty much good I think._

_**Disclaimer**; After eight drinks in 24 hours I've not yet convinced myself I own Final Fantasy VII. I'll work on it ;)_

_This chapters title is Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger by Daft Punk._

* * *

Rewind

Chapter 17

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger.

**Εуλ 2000/ εуλ 0000**

President Shinra and Genesis Rhapsodos had one thing in common on a balmy afternoon late in the summer of εуλ 0000. Both people were somewhat upset with the silver haired first class SOLDIER who had successfully demolished another virtual reality training room. Of course their reasoning's weren't quite the same, but that was irrelevant.

President Shinra could only see the monetary value of the room flashing before his squinty watering eyes. If the rotund man were able to think about anything other than the amount of money he might have and what was on the menu for lunch it might be said that he was thinking about the amount of money he was losing.

As it was it could only be said that he was probably thinking about the amount of money he was going to have to pay to fix the room. There was little doubt in anyone's mind that he probably had little to no idea of what that cost was. It was just that Shinra was so cheap that so much as an extra gil spent where it didn't have to be was enough to give the man a heart attack. An eventuality certain people were eagerly awaiting.

Genesis on the other hand was upset because Sephiroth had managed to put the VR room out of commission on a day when they had planned to have a spar. It wouldn't have been a problem, there was actually more than one room, but Sephiroth was temporarily banned after destroying yet another expensive room.

If there was anything that Genesis could be said to hate the most, it was not getting his way. In fact the unpredictable SOLDIER could be downright unbearable when things didn't go to plan. When something in his life wasn't right there wasn't a person on the planet who wasn't aware of it. Even Sephiroth wasn't immune to the wonders of the man's personality. And right then he was bearing the brunt of it.

It didn't help that the silver haired man was completely unapologetic about the whole thing. When he'd been confronted about the rampant destruction he'd said only that he'd thought the rooms were stronger than that. In fact if anything he'd seemed bored, unconcerned and detached through the entire dressing down he'd gotten.

Of course the bored exterior showed nothing of his internal thoughts and feelings. He was in no way as calm as he looked. The façade he was showing to anyone who was looking was that of aloof general. Inside he was still seething. Levelling an entire training room had done nothing to assuage his anger and betrayal. He still couldn't believe that Cloud had gotten up and left him behind without a second thought.

Sephiroth stood in his kitchen thinking incessantly about everything that happened, a cup in hand filled with water. The thoughts cycling around in his head were too much for him to handle. His hand tightened around the glass until the fragile item shattered in his hands with a startlingly loud sound. Dazedly Sephiroth looked down at his hand and the shards of glass now imbedded there. A slender hand curled around his own and forced it under the flow of water as the tap was turned on.

Sephiroth glanced over his shoulder to where auburn strands were visible. Of course he'd known that Genesis had been there. The man had been ranting at him about some thing or other for some time. He wasn't sure when he tuned the speech out, but evidently the talking had stopped at some point because as the wound was cleaned of blood and glass the other man was silent.

Genesis inspected the wound thoughtfully before letting Sephiroth's hand go. After all, once the glass was all cleared out then he would pretty much heal on his own. The crimson SOLDIER sighed with barely withheld patience. He flicked his auburn hair back from his eyes with an air of self-importance and stared the silver haired SOLDIER down.

"What is up with you lately?" The red head huffed, still annoyed that their plans were interrupted.

Sephiroth stared blankly and coolly back at his companion for a moment, "What do you mean?"

"You've been off lately, and then you destroyed another training room. Angeal and I are concerned Sephiroth. We had plans and they're ruined. You haven't been paying attention," Genesis replied his hands on his hips, "You've been keeping it all to yourself. You _can _talk to us about these things you know. That is the point in having friends. What's been bothering you?"

"I…am not sure," Sephiroth replied slowly his eyes seeing something that wasn't there as he sorted through the thoughts in his head.

"Well what made you destroy that room?" Genesis asked moving across the space of the kitchen, dragging Sephiroth with him to the couch in his living room.

"I felt…angry and hurt," Sephiroth replied settling in next to the redhead, his posture was tense. He wasn't comfortable as much as he liked his friend with the idea of revealing something this personal.

"Why?" Genesis asked, no longer angry but concerned for his friend. No one was going to hurt Sephiroth whilst he and Angeal had anything to say about it.

"I- it was a romantic…problem," Sephiroth replied resisting the urge to shift uncomfortably.

Hojo wasn't one to give heart to hearts nor advocated them and as such he'd never before had to speak about such a personal thing. For the most part Angeal and Genesis listened to him and reciprocated in turn. But for as much as he spoke to them it was never about things so close to him. They might divulge some home sickness or some personal ill but until today he'd never really had the need to speak his problems aloud.

His life such as it was might by others be viewed as a life of lonely restraint but he'd never known anything other and he wasn't sure what he'd do without the bit of company that he received. As grateful as he was to Angeal and Genesis for being there for him if he needed it, as unaccustomed to the idea, he wasn't sure that he was ready to divulge that sort of personal depth. Angeal and Genesis mightn't be entirely impressed with that but the truth was he wasn't ready to make himself so vulnerable again soon.

"And?" Genesis asked with an air of impatience. He wanted the details, he wasn't aware that Sephiroth had been in any sort of a romantic situation so the idea that there was a problem in this area was extra intriguing

"And...I don't wish to discuss it," Sephiroth said giving into his need to shuffle uncomfortably.

Genesis narrowed his eyes with irritation. Why wouldn't Sephiroth just give in? He wanted, needed to share something with the man. He just wouldn't give and the resentment inside of him was building and building until sometimes he felt like he wanted to scream. It just drove him nuts and he couldn't understand how Angeal didn't have a problem.

"Fine," Genesis huffed getting to his feet "don't share."

The silver haired man stared after him with confusion and something that stung oddly like guilt. His eyes were wide and glowing with emotion. His head fell into his hands and in a self-depreciating moment he couldn't help but wonder if maybe everything he touched was doomed to burn in flames.

~ 0 ~

Cloud stared at his body in the mirror as though it was some kind of alien thing. Perhaps he should have gone to work, but he wasn't up to it. Let Shinra's finest break the door down if they were that worried about it. He wasn't sure that he had the strength left in him to care. His hand moved forward to steady his weary body against the glass.

He felt changed in some way by what had happened with Sephiroth. He couldn't explain it but somewhere inside he felt like things were wrong. The image in the mirror showed marks that clearly displayed what he'd done. The sight made him feel physically nauseous.

Mentally Cloud couldn't reconcile to himself what he'd done. He felt physically changed in some indefinable way. Even a marathon shower until the water had run cold was not enough to scrub the feeling from his body. How could he have done that? He was meant to be stopping Sephiroth, not fucking him.

Turning away from the mirror in disgust Cloud flopped down tiredly into his bed, eyes shutting almost without thought. Except when he closed his eyes he could still feel Sephiroth's skin on his, the glide of their bodies and the touch of lips upon his own.

His hand raised to grip his hair in mental anguish. A sharp tug and a moan of agony and Cloud was stuck thinking again. He couldn't help but know that somewhere deep inside where he stuffed all of his real feelings there was a voice screaming at him for leaving Sephiroth in the first place.

Curling into a foetal position the world was blocked off and all that was left was anguish.

~ 0 ~

Hours later Cloud lifted his head to the sound of sharp rapping. Bleary eyes looked around the room with confusion. He'd managed to wear himself out until he'd finally passed out, and now what felt like only minutes longer there was some kind of eardrum shattering noise. A moan of pain fell from his lips as he acknowledged the presence of a piercing headache. Wonderful, the cherry on top of everything.

Getting to his feet Cloud drew a robe around his still naked body before answering the door. He was for some strange reason surprised when he found Zack standing on his doorstep. Of course Zack was there he realised with a sigh. When he hadn't shown for lunch he would have been worried and ever the puppy would have run across town to see if Cloud was okay.

"Cloud," Zack exclaimed, causing the blond to wince in pain.

"Shhh, inside voice Zack," Cloud replied in a softer tone, stepping aside to allow Zack in, knowing that if he didn't he'd continue to stand outside and yell.

"Sorry," Zack apologised crossing to Cloud's couch and flopping down on it comfortably.

Cloud shook his head with amusement. It didn't matter where he was Zack always looked like he was at home. Nakedness was a fact of life among soldiers, it was something they saw all the time and so for the most part took for granted. It was without a thought that Cloud found himself sitting down on a chair his head cradled in the grasp of his fingers in a futile attempt to soothe the tension headache.

"What's up Zack?" Cloud asked softly, keeping his voice at a level that his aching head would be able to handle.

"Nothing much, Sephiroth trashed the VR room so Angeal said we weren't training today, and then I was like; you know I haven't seen Spike today. You weren't at lunch either so I asked around and no one had seen you today, and I knew that you weren't on a mission because you would have told me if you were so I came to see if you were okay, are you?" Zack asked so quickly and excitably in a decibel that should have been outlawed that even Cloud who spoke the special language of Zack was slightly confused.

"Am I what?" Cloud asked in confusion.

"Okay, are you okay?" Zack clarified.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just a bit of a headache," Cloud replied with a shake of his head.

"Ah, hangover?" Zack smirked.

"Hangover?!" Cloud asked with confusion, Mako made alcohol almost redundant because it metabolised the effects too fast, "I didn't think you could get a hangover with Mako in your system."

"Then you haven't been drinking right," Zack replied looking a bit devilish.

Whatever the right way to drink was he wasn't sure that he wanted to try it. Granted there were moments when, but no. He couldn't, wouldn't allow himself to degenerate this time. Things to do and people to save. This period of, although he was loathe to admit it, sulking was all he would allow himself.

"No, not a hangover. Just a headache. I'll be fine," Cloud replied with a smile in return.

"That sucks," Zack said with a bit of a pout.

"Yeah it does. Was there anything else you wanted?" Cloud asked.

"No, not really. Just bored," Zack replied his leg jigging up and down with slight agitation.

"Alright then," Cloud said getting up and dressing, taking pain relievers that were at least mildly effective in SOLDIER's and then spending the rest of the day passing time with Zack. All in all once the medication had taken effect he had a relatively good day.

~ 0 ~

Angeal sat across from Sephiroth and Genesis, drink in hand with a slight smile on his face. Genesis was teasing Sephiroth who didn't seem to understand the fact that he was being teased. His deadpan expression was a source of amusement for the SOLDIER. He finally took pity on Sephiroth and called Genesis to a cease.

This was the last night that they would spend together for a while. Genesis had the assignment in Wutai, he was off on a mission of his own to Mideel and for a little while at least that mean that Zack was on his own with training. An issue had arisen there, god only knew what he was going to find when he got there, and he was off being one of the more adaptable SOLDIER's.

This would have been a big night for them. Genesis wouldn't have let it be any other way really. Every time he thought he was ready it was the event of the century but here they were and things hadn't gone to plan. It was to be the night of their big battle, but considering that Sephiroth demolished the room he might have deserved some punishment.

Then again, Angeal conceded mentally, there was something in the demeanour of the two men sitting at the table. It spoke volumes. Obviously Sephiroth was already upset about something, and although he wasn't showing it too much, for there to be any visible hint at all towards the feeling it had to be something fairly serious. And Genesis' face. Well there were traces there too that some sort of new anger and resentment had built towards Sephiroth.

Angeal looked at the two other men and sighed. Between the three of them one almost wouldn't believe that they were so startlingly different in disposition. And yet they got along so well with each other. For the most part. There weren't many first class SOLDIER's and those that were had to form some kind of bond if only because they needed to get along so that the army ran smoothly. In the beginning that had been part of the reason they'd become friends.

It was the reason that they convinced Sephiroth to become friends with them in the beginning. Of course Genesis had seen the whole thing as some kind of grand challenge; become friends with the mighty Sephiroth? Challenge accepted.

Getting up from the table he removed their emptied plates, placed them in the sink and turned back to the table. The kitchen was luckily open plan and leaning against the island he was able to see Genesis bugging Sephiroth again. He couldn't help but chuckle. Feeling a bit childish the red haired SOLDIER had resorted to prodding Sephiroth in the side with his still clean spoon. He was trying to coax something out of Sephiroth but clearly it wasn't working.

"Gen," Angeal scolded watching a silver brow twitch with annoyance. Sephiroth wouldn't say anything but it was obviously driving him nuts being prodded in the side. Whatever Genesis wanted to get out of Sephiroth, it wasn't going to happen. No matter how much he pushed, Sephiroth wasn't going to talk.

Getting Sephiroth to talk about important things was hard. Sometimes he would volunteer the information – albeit very rarely. Sometimes they could coax the information out of him with teasing words, thoughtful chats or friendly actions. But most of the time Sephiroth kept things to himself. He still hadn't learned to communicate as freely as those who had grown up with relative freedom.

Pouting childishly Genesis put his spoon back on the table and left Sephiroth alone. He looked so childish and silly that it drew another laugh from Angeal. He turned around and retrieved the cooled pudding from the bench and carried it to the table. The three SOLDIER's happily tucked into the food, conversation starting again easily, the evening eventually drawing to a content close, none of them prepared for what would happen next.

~ 0 ~

Genesis found himself standing on the continent of Wutai with a determined look on his face. He knew that this was his chance, his opportunity to take charge and to be successful. Gods knew how long he was going to be there waiting to take over their enemy. Shinra had the power but the people of Wutai had the home advantage and they knew it.

The terrain of the area and the lack of knowledge about it had long caused problems for Shinra. The people of Wutai had mostly held out this long because they were able to use guerrilla warfare. They knew and were prepared for the terrain, the weather, the shortcuts and the hidey-holes. It also seemed that every person on the continent was ready to fight.

In some form or another the civilians were prepared to fight for their country. His lips drew up in a sneering smirk. He couldn't help but wonder if the civilians of the other continents would be so willing to defend their home if it were invaded. Somehow he highly doubted it. A gloved hand came up to flick red strands from his face, tearing the light tresses from the grasp of the wind. The dramatic movement characteristic of his personality.

Taking his troops forward, both SOLDIER and regular infantry, they made their way into enemy territory. His sword remained in hand, fingers holding it in a loose grip as he directed half the troops to spread out and surround the village that they were hoping to take. Civilian dwellings were not the usual targets of the army, but in this case intelligence suggested that there were soldiers living in the village disguised as civilians to catch their invading force unaware.

They had to be prepared for anything, and the very thought of people popping out and catching them unaware was almost terrifying for some of the men. Not Genesis though. There was no way the he would admit any of this bothered him. He was a SOLDIER first class. He was destined to be a leader. Destined to be famous. He couldn't be scared.

Steeling himself Genesis gestured silently to the men around him. They nodded and fanned out to take the village. Soldiers poured into the village from every direction. With guns, swords and magic the village was taken. Genesis lifted his sword to defend himself the thrill of the battle running high through his system.

A thrust, a parry, a clean sweep. With sword and steel he forced his way into the village without a second thought until the opposition filtered out. Breath came in pants that were more adrenaline response than tiredness. He felt fabulous, ecstatic. A smile curved his lips as he lowered his sword point to the ground. The sound finally filtering back in.

The first thing to overcome the overbearing sound of the blood rushing in his ears was the sound of sobbing. Curious, Genesis turned to find the source of the sound. Hardened soldiers very rarely cried. Whatever was making the noise bore looking at. Suddenly he found himself looking at a young woman, covered in blood and sobbing over the form of a gasping man.

His hand twitched with the need to do something, but the truth was there was nothing he could do. This man was on the opposing side, and he was leader. If he did something for the young man it would set a bad precedent and then he would only have to strike him down later.

It was a terrible thing to do but in that moment he hardened his heart towards the people. He couldn't allow the image to get to him whilst his men looked to him for guidance. Giving nothing of his feelings away Genesis turned to his men and ordered a thorough search of the town. If there were weapons or other warfare supplies there they would be found and liberated before they moved on.

He forced himself to stand there and watch the woman and her man, the boy slowly succumbing to a messy, bloody death. He had wrought this destruction, and he would forever foster the image of this on his soul. The woman sobbed and screamed as she held him, falling silent only when he was gone. Her head lowered to his chest. Long dark strands of hair feathered out over the body, drawing up sticky blood.

When the woman lifted her head to look at him he forced himself to stand his ground. Do not flinch. No visible reaction. Face the horror. A warriors duty. Blood smeared her face and hair in a grim coat. Her eyes narrowed at him and he knew what she was planning moments before she followed through with it.

"Murderer!" She screamed with a slight accent, her voice thick with emotion hurling her body at Genesis and beating ineffectually at his chest.

For a moment Genesis allowed the action, feeling sorry for her before he remembered himself. Gripping her wrists tightly in his hands he restrained the woman, his throat thick and sticky with repressed emotion. His tongue felt dry and too large in his mouth. There were no words to be said as the woman sagged in his grip and sobbed on his chest.

The weapons report came back negative. There were no weapons in this town. Another strategic mark in Shinra's war, glossed over with the claim that they were weapon wielding insurgents. He couldn't help but feel physically sick as he ordered the troops out, his face outwardly blank and emotionless. His hands itched for the comfort of loveless.

His only choice was to continue onwards, to capture Fort Tamblin.

~ 0 ~

Angeal stood in the open landscape of Mideel, the only SOLDIER dispatched to the area. His debriefing had been in a word, brief. There was a small cache of rebels hiding in Mideel. Normally this would be a job for the Turks. Although they had an undercover operative working on the situation he needed to be the face of the operation so that they were able to distract the enemy.

A red headed Turk named Reno was on the case. It wasn't entirely unusual that the Turks would use SOLDIER as a backup in their plans. It didn't happen often, but when it did they gave their complete and total cooperation like good little soldiers.

He entered the warehouse making sure to be extra loud to draw attention, his demeanour casual. On the way in he knocked over a can, knowing the loud clattering sound would definitely call attention to him. It didn't take too long before an, albeit unprepared, rebel made his way out to check on the sound.

Upon seeing Angeal and the enormous sword strapped to his back he announced loudly they were under attack and drew his weapon. The gun on its own would do little to harm Angeal, but the sudden appearance of thirty other armed men would certainly hinder him. Luckily his only objective was to focus as much of their attention on him as he could.

Ignoring the larger sword upon his back Angeal pulled forth a standard blade and moved around the warehouse. Ducking behind a shelf he made a point of knocking a row of items off. His sword punctured the cans allowing them to fall to the floor and roll a decent distance. The fallen objects slicked the floor in a mixture of oil and fuel.

The rebels trying to move after him found themselves slipping and sliding across the floor as they tried to corner him. After running around for a few minutes, Angeal slipping out from behind from behind shelving and supplies to attack the rebels selectively leaving only the ones he thought would be useful his PHS went off.

Lifting the phone and flipping it open the screen showed him the message that the mission was a success. A hint of red hair appeared over the edge of the balcony on the second story. Knowing it was Reno he nodded, made a few hand gestures and proceeded to corner the remaining three rebels, trapping them between the Turk and himself. It was the work of a few moments to cuff them and take them back to the waiting helicopter.

With the push of a button Reno detonated the warehouse the rebels had been hiding in. The mission had been a complete and total success. While Angeal had kept the fighting rebels distracted Reno spent his time laying explosives and procuring the missing information for Shinra. Although how they managed to miss a head of hair as bright as Reno's in the first place was a good question.

It wasn't until the heat of moment was over, and Reno was readying the helicopter to pilot them and the secured prisoners' home that they noticed it.

"Don't drip on my helicopter man," Reno said completing his pre-flight checks without looking at Angeal.

"Hmm?" Angeal hummed in confusion.

"You're hit," Reno replied the helicopter picking up off the ground.

"Oh," Angeal replied looking at his soaked SOLDIER uniform and noting that the blood was starting to drip down his forearm. He kept waiting for the wound to heal, but when nothing happened he bound the wound with bandages from the first aid kit on board.

Several weeks later the wound still hadn't healed, and wearing a jacket over his uniform was doing nothing to hide it. Finally he was forced to go and see Hollander again. At first the doctor had informed him it was just a delayed healing. Something in the bullet he'd been hit with had caused the lack of regeneration.

The amount of time that had passed between first obtaining the wound and the point he was at now ruled that out. He felt weaker. He felt dulled and dark. The wound under the layers of clothes and bandages was festering. The skin around the now emptied bullet hole had been sewn shut by hand. Instead of a bullet filling the hole in his body the wound was filled with pus.

Every day when he changed the bandages himself he tried to clean the wound out. It seemed that no matter how many treatments Hollander tried and no matter how many remedies or antidotes he took nothing helped. The skin around the wound was pale and tired and the pain that was radiating from the point of the wound was inescapable.

"Doctor Hollander?" Angeal called, settling down tiredly into a seat a few strands of white hair hanging in his face. He felt like he was getting old before his time. What was happening to him? He felt more anxious than he had in a while.

Hollander appeared around the corner, his stomach preceding the rest of him around the corner. He carried in his clipboard and sat down in front of Angeal. Settling down he eased his back and lay the clipboard down on the table.

"Well," Angeal demanded impatiently, no longer able to stand the wait. His patience had long since run short. He _needed _answers.

"Well, I'm afraid it isn't good news. You aren't regenerating," Hollander replied.

"Obviously not, no," Angeal replied bitterly his eyes slightly narrowed with impatience.

"No, you aren't regenerating at a cellular level. Every species is capable of regenerating at a cellular level from bacteria to humans. At its most elementary level, regeneration is mediated by the molecular processes of DNA synthesis. However your body is blocking the regenerative process and instead of regenerating your body is degenerating. Basically your body isn't going to repair itself, it's going to slowly attack the degenerated cells in your system until there are no healthy cells left. Essentially, your body is aging and decomposing at an accelerated rate and the levels of hormones and synthesized mako in your body is imbalanced causing you to progress into death whilst you are still alive. Your body will decay until it cannot function any longer," Hollander replied.

The silence in the room was deafening. Without a word Angeal stood and left the room. He needed to think.

* * *

Alright, I know it was short and very late. What do you think?


	19. Without A Word

You get a nice early chapter this time. I had it written for a little while. I wrote it immediately after the last one but I figured I'd wait a bit. So here it is. Big things. I've started putting it up on Archive of Our Own too, so for the fixed version check there under TrisanaSkystorm.

_**Word Count;** 6000 (I did a bit better this time)._

_**Warnings**; Not work safe. I've earned my rating with this one._

_**Disclaimer**; I don't anything, except this steam. Whoo it's like a sauna in here._

___This chapters title is Without A Word, by Birdy._

* * *

Rewind

Chapter 18

Without A Word

Genesis stood among the spoils of his victory with a smile on his lips. He felt strong and undeniably wantable. His strolling movements were languid and relaxed as walked through the tall concrete walls. Wutai soldier's popped out of gaps every now and then but they were easily dispatched. Really they could have at least given him a challenge.

The men that he'd brought from the shore line to Fort Tamblin with him held the ground that he gained with iron will. They were under orders to make sure no one escaped and under no circumstances were any of them to get under foot. Not one of them. This was his fight, his war, and he would win it.

It would be his name on the lips of every man, woman and child. Genesis Rhapsodos. He would be the hero that Loveless spoke of. He'd started to despair that it would always be Sephiroth. He would hate to think he'd be stuck living in the great and powerful Sephiroth's shadow forever. His lips curled into a frown.

Another soldier leapt at him from behind a gate before he finally forced his way into the centre of the place, easily dispatching his unfortunate enemy. He was drawn short by the appearance of a child. Suddenly stopping in front of the child he leant back with an unimpressed look on his face. The child shouldn't even be here. This was no civilian dwelling, this was a fortified fort. A place for soldiers, not little children playing at soldiers.

The child huffed at him with a disgruntled look on his face, causing him to lean back further as though the child had some kind of infectious disease.

"First, a people weak in the pursuit of knowledge. Second, those protecting the Wutai homeland. Third, an ugly Shinra SOLDIER. Prepare for your punishment!" The short haired girl yelled.

His lips curled further with annoyance, how he'd like to slap the little shit, "Who the hell are you?"

"Wutai's strongest warrior! With me here, you shall not advance any further!" Yuffie asserted.

He just couldn't help it. His lips quirked in a twitching movement and then the sound was loose of its own accord. He huffed a laugh, "You're kidding right. You're the best Wutai's got? No wonder I've been wiping the floor with you. You're just a kid. Do everyone a favour and run back home to your parents where it's nice and safe."

"You're the one who should give up; I told you that this is the end of your progress. I will defeat you!" Yuffie yelled in a tone of voice that caused Genesis to wince. Children should all be muzzled until they learn to speak with normal voices and not the shrill ear drum piercing cries they seemed to manifest with.

"You're kidding right?" Genesis replied with a quirked brown and a disdainful look.

"Pow-pow-pow! How's that! Give up!" Yuffie yelled pretending to punch him, aiming jerky jabs at the air.

His patience lasted only for a second or two before Genesis snapped and lifted the child off the ground by the back of her shirt. She squeaked and flailed indignantly yelling about her true power or some shit. To be honest he'd stopped listening out of pure irritation. He dropped her on the other side of his body, out of his path.

"You haven't seen the last of me ugly Shinra SOLDIER," Yuffie cried bristling like a cat.

"Oh shut up and go home," Genesis snapped, swatting the child on the rear with the flat of his blade before giving her a push in the right direction.

Tuning her cries out with practise honed from ignoring cadets at Shinra he pretended she didn't exist and made his way to the dojo at the centre of the fort. When the doors swung open he found himself confronted by two monsters. With a sigh he swept his sword out at one catching it through the torso, ripping the creature open and taking the items from inside whilst firing a mastered fire materia at the other effectively wiping both monsters from the face of the earth.

Glancing around for a moment he picked up his phone and let it ring.

"Yes?" Tseng replied shortly.

"Mission complete, Fort Tamblin has been taken successfully. I'm ready for extraction. My men are waiting at the outskirts of the Fort holding it," Genesis replied.

"Rendezvous in five at the outskirts," Tseng replied before cutting off transmission.

A sudden noise from behind Genesis showed the monster he'd thought was left for dead attempting to get back up. "Stay down," he said with a frown, blasting it in the face with his fire spell making sure this time that it was dead for sure.

Turning from the dojo Genesis made his way back through the fort until he found his men waiting for him. The SOLDIER's had clearance to withdraw, the infantry however had to stay there and hold the place until their commanding officer caught up. Luckily the path Genesis managed to carve had been only a little bit faster than the standard army. Their fellow troops were only just about a day's march from their current location.

"Infantry, hold your position, reinforcements are nearby. SOLDIER's, with me," Genesis commanded, turning to leave without even checking if they were following his long red coat flicking dramatically out behind him.

Tseng picked them up without incident, the monsters that attacked along the way meeting the easily and calmly controlled business end of a sword. Really, he was almost ready to believe that the child who had confronted him really was the best that Wutai had to offer. Shame really, he'd been looking forward to some kind of challenge. Apparently all the other men they'd had over there in charge had been complete and total idiots.

Left under his control it hadn't taken too much time to break through Wutai's defences at all. It had been almost pathetically easy after the carnage of the first village they'd come to. He slept fitfully in the helicopter, his legs almost itching to get up and carry him into battle even there. Before he knew it he was home.

He'd expected Angeal to come and see him immediately after he got home. It was how this sort of thing usually worked after all. He went out on a mission and then Angeal would come and meet him at the helipad afterwards to enquire about him. Then there would be some sort of conversation that he'd later only barely remember through the haze of actually being home and somewhere in there they'd slip a dinner in.

Sometimes Sephiroth would join them in an after mission success meal. Sometimes he wouldn't. Sephiroth was as difficult to predict as Midgar weather. In fact Genesis found himself waiting just past the door for the helipad for a few minutes before realizing that Angeal wasn't coming. Figuring he must be out on a mission of his own or busy he made his way to the office to file the paper work for his mission.

Sitting at his desk he filled the papers out and sent them to the appropriate places before sitting to relax. Rolling his shoulders he could feel the tension in them. A beep on his phone alerted him to the presence of a new message.

'Thanks to all our SOLDIER's. With all your dedicated work we've managed to win the war. Today Shinra accepted the terms and granted Wutai a conditional surrender. We couldn't have done it without you.'

Shaking his head Genesis smiled to himself, feeling strangely accomplished. They'd won the war, and he had no doubts that it had happened because he'd broken Fort Tamblin. Grinning he made his way back home and ran a warm bath. Ordinarily he'd have had a shower and been done with it, but the sense of pride he was feeling deserved some sort of reward.

The bathtub filled up slowly whilst Genesis poured in relaxing oils and salts, disrobed and set some relaxing music playing. A glass of wine made the moment complete. He lay languidly in the hot water. Some might have said that the water temperature was too hot, but he was a creature of fire. Desire, lust and temper burned hot not cold.

It wasn't hard to believe then that he fell asleep in the relaxing grasp of the bathtub, the wine glass he'd been sipping from completely emptied.

_It started simply at first. The open air fresh and relaxing, the grass beneath his feet soft and silken in a way that only dreams could recreate. Loveless was a heavy and comforting presence in his hand. "Infinite in mystery is the gift of the Goddess. We seek it thus, and take to the sky. Ripples form on the water's surface. The wandering soul knows no rest," Genesis intoned without even opening the volume, the words long since etched in his mind._

_A scream split the silence and loveless was dropped and forgotten. Running towards the sound he found himself upon a ruined village. On the ground were hundreds of bodies, a mass grave of men, women and children. Blue eyes burned bright with horror. He couldn't believe what he was seeing, who would have done this?_

_The heavy weight in his hand drew his view away from the deceased. Held in a tight gloved grip was his rapier, surface still shining crimson and dripping with the blood of his victims. Turning around, his long coat whipping behind him in a howling wind Genesis came face to face with all he knew. Angeal looked at him with horror and disgust on his face, "How could you Gen? Where is your honour?"_

"_Good work Genesis," Sephiroth praised taking a step forward, and driving Genesis a step back._

"_Murderer," Zack accused his normally bouncy childish demeanour gone._

"_Cold-hearted."_

"_Invader."_

"_Torturer."_

"_Monster."_

_The last comment drove Genesis back the final step until he tripped over one of the dead bodies, falling into their suddenly live grasp. Their hands were tight, nails biting into his skin as the pushed and pulled him about, crawling over and under and around him until he was cocooned in their presence._

"_I'm sorry!" Genesis screamed._

Lurching and jerking about Genesis pulled himself over the side of the tub and out the grasp of the now cold water. The empty wine glass fell aside and smashed on the floor in his haste to get away. Gathering himself up in a soft towel he left the bathroom and fell on to his bed with a damp flop. His mind was too occupied to think right then, he could be horrified about getting the high thread count sheets wet later.

Closing his eyes he sighed and turned his face to the wall. Where was Angeal? What was he doing that he still hadn't come to see him? If his friend had been there then he might not have fallen asleep in the tub like that. Something just didn't feel right, and it wasn't just his nightmare talking. The word monster resonated in his head. Was he just that? Was he a monster for what he had done?

His actions had won the war and carved a swift path through to Fort Tamblin, but had it been worth it? The war was over, and yet somehow it was still there with him when he closed his eyes. A shudder reverberated down his spine as he forced himself to get the thoughts off of his mind. He wasn't a monster. He was a soldier. A soldier obeying orders. A cold hearted, murderous monster of a soldier.

Turning on his side he attempted to block the world out, throwing the damp towel on the floor next to the bed and drawing the covers over himself to stave off the chill he was feeling. It was a deep psychological chill born in his mind, and no matter how many blankets he pulled over himself he couldn't get warm.

~ 0 ~

Angeal stood in the laboratory with a dark look on his face. He'd left without leave, but Shinra be damned. They'd done this to him, and now they would have to deal with the fall out. He held the folder with information about project G on it close to his body as though at any moment a Turk might arrive and wrest it from his grip.

Project G. Named for the main test subject; Gillian Hewley. His teeth ground together sharply until his jaw hurt. Hollander hadn't been forthright in telling him this information. In fact he might not have had any idea what to do at all if it hadn't been for a note he'd received.

'Angeal,

The truth about you is hidden in Banora. Find the lab. The information about Project G will be there. Hollander is lying to you about the degeneration.

C'

He'd wanted to deny it a first. It seemed ridiculous. But then his mind had told him it was worth checking out. After all, other than Hollander who would know about the degeneration? His thoughts had been all over the place ever since. He'd barely taken a moment to check his phone the few times it had gone off, making sure it wasn't another text from 'C' before returning to his research.

The strange message had come from a blocked number. Numbers like those were usually only the property of rebels or Turks. And yet in this instance he had this strange inkling that it was both and neither. He couldn't get a feel for the character 'C' through his message. Between the time he received the note and then he'd been unable to decide how he felt about the matter.

On the one hand he was grateful for the hint in the right direction, but on the other he was resentful over knowing the truth about what had been done to him. To them. He and Genesis. And that posed another question. Did he tell Genesis the truth about them, or did he let the other SOLDIER, his brother in a way, live without the knowledge.

A frustrated huff passed his lips and he turned back to the information again. Genesis was the first progeny of the project. Gillian had been injected with Jenova cells, with the intent that those who received her cells in turn would receive Jenova's traits. The project G cells had been merely injected into Genesis. He'd in turn received the cells when his mother had given birth to him.

G-type SOLDIERs. Just another name for monster in his eyes.

Doctor Hollander injected a fellow scientist, Angeal's mother Gillian Hewley, with Jenova's cells. Gillian's cells were later injected to a foetus, Genesis Rhapsodos. The project hadn't turned out favourable results and Shinra cut its funds. He couldn't believe that both he and Genesis had gone this long without knowing all this. And yet at the same time he could understand that they hadn't told him. He wasn't sure even now that he knew that he wanted to know the truth.

He shook his head. Genesis didn't need to know any of this. He would save the research and leave it somewhere that Genesis might find it if he needed it. He might be angry, bitter and slightly jaded but he had enough honour left to know that unless the knowledge was needed it was unfair of him to burden another with its presence.

Taking note of the words on the paper he discovers some wisdom. To begin with they were considered unsuccessful, although he more than Genesis. Testing of their cells routinely had at some point shown what would happen to him. Copies, clones of he and Genesis had been made from these cells which had their degradation condition.

A person suffering from degradation appears to age, their hair first turning silver, and then white. Their skin takes on a greyish hue and large cracks can be observed on the sufferer's face and neck. Suffering from degradation makes the body weak, brittle, and more susceptible to injury.

Furthermore emotional control, particularly in restraining anger, is also affected due to the process of degradation. Subjects often lose their ability to prevent themselves from giving into brutal outbursts, increasing their risk of devolving into monsters despite raising their skills in combat.

The most important piece of information in that report that Angeal could see was the last line; subsequently, degradation leads to death. That meant that ahead of time, Hollander would have known what was going to happen to them. He'd been experimenting with clones of their bodies and obviously hadn't found anything of value or he wouldn't be there right then and there.

He wouldn't, couldn't, go back to Shinra after these discoveries. He considered sending out a quick message to Sephiroth and Genesis letting them all know that he was leaving. No details, just a quick sorry to do this but I'm leaving. Shinra could get fucked as far as he was concerned, but just couldn't bring himself to do it.

He sent a quick message to 'C' letting them know he'd found what he was supposed to find and that he was leaving. He wouldn't tell Genesis. C sent him instructions for where to leave the research which he quickly read before he smashed the phone to bits and drowned it for good measure. Overkill perhaps, but slightly therapeutic.

The travel took an eternity, crossing land and sea by car, chocobo and boat. Finally he found himself in the secluded town of Nibelhiem, the little place nestled in the grip of snow-capped mountains. Following the instructions he made his way into the mansion and left the reports in the bookcase of the Shinra basement. It was the work of a few seconds to scrawl Genesis' name across the folder and leave it there.

With his work over he left Nibelhiem behind. That town wasn't for him. He left behind his old life and moved into the remains of his new one. His new abode; the outskirts of a town named Gongaga. He felt at home living in the jungle somehow. It felt more natural to him to die there among nature than to die among the cold hard steel of the city that created him.

Midgar and Shinra were a thousand miles behind his still bitter mind. It was only him and his sword against the world. For as long as he had left he would try and hold out.

~ 0 ~

Cloud found himself standing outside the door to Sephiroth's apartment nervously. He knew that it was time to talk. He knew from what he could gather of Sephiroth's schedule that he would be home, but there but it didn't stop him from feeling at a loss. His nerves were all but shot, and rather than standing around trying to gather up the courage to knock he found himself pacing back and forth.

There was all but a track worn in the floor by the time he finally summoned the courage to face his demons. He felt giddy from fear and excitement at once. Knocking softly he tensed as he waited for an answer, blue eyes wide in his face.

A million years later the door opened to reveal a shirtless Sephiroth. Not even the standard trademark coat was present on his body. He was lacking shoes, the only clothing on his body the black pants he normally wore. Blue eyes widened even more as he found himself scanning only the toned body inches away from him.

"Cloud," Sephiroth intoned in that deep tone that set shivers down his spine for good reasons.

"Se-Sephiroth," Cloud choked out trying but failing miserably to remove his eyes from Sephiroth's exposed body.

"What did you need Cloud?" Sephiroth asked.

"Oh, um I…can we talk?" Cloud replied trying to pull himself together.

"Yes."

"Inside?" Cloud questioned, entering the apartment when Sephiroth stepped aside for him.

"So," Sephiroth said to start the conversation, settling into his couch comfortably, the lack of shirt apparently not bothering him in the least. Granted he didn't wear one normally so that might have something to do with it.

"I'm sorry, about leaving. I was…confused. I wasn't sure," Cloud said his mind reeling as he took his own seat in the plush arm chair across from Sephiroth.

"You weren't sure about what?" Sephiroth questioned sitting perfectly still in contrast to Cloud's incessant fidgeting.

Cloud wanted to scream. Why did Sephiroth find it so easy to talk like this when he found it so damn hard? Every word sounded wrong and forced. He wanted to start banging his head on the wall in the hopes that this whole thing would blow over and they could forget that he was drawn to Sephiroth like a magnet. Because the truth was he was repelled like one too.

He wanted to give a straightforward answer but the truth was he wasn't sure that there was ever a straightforward answer when it came to love. Or maybe that was just him. It wouldn't surprise him to know that he was screwed up enough in the head that it was a problem only he experienced.

And he had to be screwed in the head. Because they were enemies he and Sephiroth, and there was no way that he should have feelings for him. The truth was Sephiroth might be the only person who could really understand him. And how sad was that? The only person who could really understand him being the most fucked up momma's boy on the planet with a penchant for his personal suffering.

Sephiroth was his enemy damn it. Why was he even there? He was about ready to start hyperventilating when he snapped back in to reality to find Sephiroth's face only inches from his own. His name was on the silver haired SOLDIER's lips. The word being repeated over and over again. Cloud. Cloud. Cloud.

"Yes?" Cloud said feeling very far away from his body.

"Are you alright?" Sephiroth questioned, "You look pale and upset."

To be honest he was rather flattered that Sephiroth had even noticed. Let's face it Sephiroth wasn't the most brilliant at figuring out emotions. He wouldn't have expected his state to register that much in the other man's mind.

"I don't know," Cloud replied looking so deep in Sephiroth's eyes that he felt like he was drowning in them.

This was his problem. He was drawn to Sephiroth. He wanted him. And yet his mind screamed at him to say no. It was only in Sephiroth's presence that his mind started to shut down. Slit pupils drowned in the liquid of Sephiroth's eyes. And he too was drowning in them. Was he alright? He wasn't sure. Did he care? Well that was another question entirely.

Leaning forward he captured Sephiroth's lips with his own. Long silver bangs brushed Cloud's face in a ticklish way that added to the sensation. The kiss was soft and gentle for all of a second before it turned hungry and desperate as both parties tried to get closer. The confliction they both felt only added to the depth of the kiss.

Air ran short and finally they had to separate. Sephiroth stared at Cloud's face with an impassive look of his own, "What does this mean Cloud?"

"I don't know. I don't know. Gods help me but I don't know," Cloud replied, his breath coming in pants. He was so lost and confused and the only clear thought he had was that he wanted more no matter what he had to do to get it.

"I don't want to repeat what happened last time Cloud. If you want to do this then you need to commit to doing it and not run off the moment I fall asleep," Sephiroth said darkly.

Cloud flinched at the words and thought for a moment before deciding to throw caution to the wind. They could deal with the emotional bullshit later. No matter the cost he would pay it for a moment of bliss. His mind was always running and the reboot it would get from this would be worth it, no matter what it was.

"Yes," Cloud replied.

"Yes?" Sephiroth asked.

"Yes, anything you want. Just please?" Cloud replied his fingers delving into Sephiroth's hair.

Gripping Cloud tight Sephiroth drew him in for a kiss pulling him up from the couch with little effort and heading in the direction of the bedroom. He wasn't the best with emotion either, and perhaps that was the problem with their interaction but right then he could care less.

Kicking the door open he threw Cloud on to the bed and turned to gather some things up, throwing them on to the bed too before settling over Cloud. His fingers settled over Cloud's skin where it was bared. They caressed the flesh within touch as Cloud did the same to him, running callused fingers over the defined planes of his abdomen.

Gripping the knit of Cloud's SOLDIER uniform shirt he pulled the clothing up over the blond head and tossed it over the bed, "Is this what you want Cloud? One more chance to back out."

"No, I want this. I want you please?" Cloud replied almost senseless with need. He'd been so conflicted about this for so long, alternately enjoying and hating his feelings and needs for Sephiroth that it felt good to succumb. He wanted what Sephiroth promised. He wanted to be consumed for a while.

Sephiroth reached up and cuffed Cloud's wrists together so he was unable to leave. Consent had been given, Cloud was his. He wasn't going to let go. He wasn't going to lose him this time. The blond was his.

A gasp left Cloud's lips as he focused on the strange sensation of being handcuffed in an intimate situation. Sure he'd been handcuffed before, but there had never been the promise of something more. His hands were bound over his head and experimentally he gave a light tug just to test the restraints. They didn't give.

"You're not going anywhere this time," Sephiroth growled, "You promised."

Sephiroth's teeth latched on to Cloud's neck nibbling and sucking sharply at the skin until there was a permanent mark left behind. Cloud swallowed hard watching as one of Sephiroth's hands started to slowly run over his chest. Grabbing his lower lip between his teeth, he bit down as Sephiroth's fingers brushed over his nipple. The touch was soft and ticklish, yet hard enough to be arousing.

"No, none of that," Sephiroth whispered nibbling at Cloud's mouth. Cloud's mouth opened under the pressure, feeling Sephiroth's tongue dip into his mouth. The blond twisted his body, trying desperately to rub against his lover, but Sephiroth kept just out of reach of his straining body.

Sephiroth pulled back; looking down he smiled at the blond under him, eyes bright with excitement. Moving he placed kisses along Cloud's jaw until he found the boy's ear. Pulling the lobe into his mouth, he tugged hearing the boy moan.

"You like that?" Sephiroth breathed hotly into Cloud's ear, long strands of hair falling between them like a curtain, tickling his body. He could feel Cloud's body shudder, could clearly see the goose bumps that broke out across the boy's skin.

"Yes, god yes," Cloud moaned as Sephiroth's mouth closed over his nipple. Cloud closed his eyes, gritting his jaw tightly shut as Sephiroth rolled his nipple between his teeth. The sensation washed through him forcing sounds from between his lips.

Sephiroth looked up; reaching out he let his hand run over Cloud's body with gentle teasing touches. He watched the boy's face, mapping Cloud's body with touch. He was determined that this time he wasn't going to miss anything. This time would be perfect, and when they woke up in the morning they would both be there.

Moving his hand down he slowly slid his fingers over Cloud's clothed erection. His hips bucked up into the touch and he smiled, "Want me to loosen those pants Cloud? They must be getting pretty tight right about now."

"Hnnng, please do," Cloud replied feeling very much the restrained virgin as Sephiroth touched him. Long fingers swiftly removed his belt, unbuttoned his trousers and threw them over the side of the bed until Sephiroth was touching him through only the silken fabric of his boxers. It occurred to him that this would have been a good day to be wearing nicer boxers.

Really Cloud ought to have changed them before he headed to Sephiroth's, or at least picked out a nicer pair in the morning. He knew where this was going to end when he made the plan to seek Sephiroth out. Unfortunately for him he was still wearing the joke boxers that Zack had gotten him as a present. The stupid black boxers had golden chocobo's all over them with baffled looks and 'wark' speech bubbles.

"Cute," Sephiroth teased playing with Cloud through the silky fabric of the boxers enjoying the pink flush of embarrassment drawing itself across Cloud's cheeks. He toyed with them for a few moments before discarding them completely, tossing them over the side of the bed. This was the only time when he could deal with any sort of mess.

Moving his hand down he slowly slid his fingers over Cloud's erection until he could cup his testicles. They were firm and heavy in his hand. He played with them leisurely, enjoying the look on Cloud's face as he did so. The way his teeth drew his lip in, the way his eyes slipped closed in pleasure and especially the heated blush crossing his face.

"Sephiroth," Cloud hissed.

"Hum?" Sephiroth asked looking up at the blond through long bangs. He studied the boy's face, seeing Cloud looked incredibly tense. Keeping his eyes on Cloud Sephiroth covered his fingers in lube and slipped his hand down, slowly running his fingers over Cloud's opening. Slipping a finger into the boy's body he listened to the incredible moan that escaped between parted lips.

Sephiroth shifted, leaning he latched onto one of Cloud's nipples. He could hear the boy's low moans and mutters, but paid them no mind. Adding another finger, he pressed in as far as he could searching for the boy's prostate with skilled fingers. Finding it he pressed against it feeling Cloud jerk.

"Sephiroth!" Cloud hissed out as he jerked on his hands. But he couldn't get them free from the restraints of the cuffs. Shifting he pressed against the man pleasuring him trying and finally succeeding in finding some sort of friction. Crying out, Cloud opened his legs further to press down against Sephiroth's hand. "Please…"

Sephiroth continued preparing Cloud for a few more moments before looking deep into blue eyes for some sort of denial. Finding none he slicked himself up and pressed inside with slow movements. Cloud moaned when Sephiroth grabbed his hip, keeping him from impaling himself faster. Keeping a hand on the boy, Sephiroth pushed completely into him a low moan escaping him. God it was nice, the heat and tightness.

Cloud couldn't believe the way it felt. It was good and bad all swirled into one until he couldn't tell which was which and all he could do was pant and feel. Tears gathered in his blue eyes and he couldn't really understand why as they trembled pleasurably in his vision until he closed his eyes allowing them to spill down his cheeks with a sigh.

Sephiroth looked at Cloud, seeing the boy's bright blue eyes were closed. Smiling he leaned down slightly to gently kiss him, feeling as Cloud pressed against him. The kiss was heavy and full of passion, tongues rubbing and toying with each other.

Rocking his hips he watched Cloud, smiling when blue eyes opened to look at him again. They focused on him resolutely, displaying the level of pleasure Cloud was feeling as Sephiroth hit his prostate dead on. Slipping his hand from Cloud's hip he found a nipple to roll between his fingers gently.

"Seph," Cloud groaned as he yanked on his hands again. The presence of the cuffs was starting to drive him insane. He wanted to wrap his arms around his lover; his fingers inched to run though the man's hair. The glorious moonlit tresses were curtaining them and sliding sinfully along his body with every thrust Sephiroth made.

Cloud tilted his head back, a cry escaping him as he felt his orgasm build. His teeth caught and held his lip again as Sephiroth started to thrust faster causing sparks of pleasure along his nerve endings. Oxygen became a scarce commodity as he started panting his breath out.

"Oh god please, I can't take it anymore," Cloud panted the need for orgasm building to an unbearable level.

Sephiroth grabbed a hold of Cloud's erection and began move his long fingers up and down, caressing it from root to tip in time with their frantic thrusting, "Then don't. Come for me Cloud."

Sephiroth's voice was so demanding and the touch of his hand so good that he couldn't help but get off on it. His hips bucked and his fingers clenched and unclenched pointlessly as he shuddered through an orgasm. The erratic clenching of his body drew Sephiroth down with him. The two spiralled off into a white world of ecstasy. The sound of their combined panting huffed loudly in their ears.

Sephiroth collapsed, his large body settling on to the bed beside Cloud as he regained his normal pattern of breathing. His hips pulled free of Cloud and he nuzzled the heated skin of Cloud's neck affectionately. His, absolutely his he assured himself looking at the debauched mess he'd made of the blond SOLDIER.

Accomplishment ran high through Sephiroth's veins. He felt good about this. He'd staked his claim now, there was no way Cloud was getting away and there was no way that anyone else would try and take him away. Not even Hojo. Especially not Hojo. He'd kill Hojo for touching Cloud. Cloud was his. He didn't want to share. He didn't have to share.

"Seph?" Cloud questioned with a tired voice.

"Yes?" Sephiroth replied not bothering to lift his head from Cloud's neck.

"Can you uncuff me now?" Cloud asked.

"Are you going to run away this time?" Sephiroth asked suspiciously.

"No," Cloud replied with a sigh. Sephiroth was being all petulant and possessive. He doubted he'd be able to get away if he tried. Not that he really wanted to. His brain was screaming run you idiot run, but his body and mind were sighing in contentment.

"Fine," Sephiroth sighed getting the keys and unlocking Cloud's wrists. When that was done he helped rub the feeling back in to them before settling Cloud back into his arms. The blond snuggled in to him, contentedly laying within his possessive grasp.

"Mine," Sephiroth muttered under his breath holding Cloud close.

"Mmmhmm, can I be yours while napping please?" Cloud asked his eyes closed. Now that he was done with stressing about the issue he was amazingly tired. Resolutions, as much as they hadn't really resolved much verbally, always tired him out.

"Night Seph," Cloud muttered.

"Goodnight Cloud," Sephiroth replied staying awake as long as he could to make sure that Cloud didn't try and slip out. Eventually he fell asleep and both of them got to wake up the next morning in each other's arms feeling more refreshed than they remembered in a while before rallying a repeat performance of the evening before.

* * *

So what did you think? Finally some action and some other big things. Let me know.


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